Love's Sweet Surrender (20 page)

“Of course, they are good children. I don’t mind at all.”

They stepped onto the porch and unconsciously moved together to sit down to enjoy the night air. “Have you thought more about telling them how their mother actually died?”

He hesitated momentarily before he said, “Not really. I still really don’t think it's a good idea.”

“But Seth, you really need to tell them. You need to help them.”

“I realize you think they should know, but I’m not convinced yet it is the best thing for them. I mean, you’ve been with them for a few weeks now. Do they really seem that bad? Anne hasn’t talked to anyone, even though people have tried.” His voice trailed off, and he turned to look blankly out into the yard in front of him.

“Yes, she has.”

* * * *

Big mouth! You promised Anne you wouldn’t say anything.
Before she could retract her statement, Seth asked what she meant.

“Did she talk to you?”

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Love’s Sweet Surrender

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“Yes, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell because she wanted to keep it a secret. It’s not like we carried on any significant conversation, Seth, she only said a few words.”

She tried to skirt around what Anne actually said. The last thing she wanted to tell him was his daughter had asked if she could be their new mommy. She didn’t want him to know the little girl’s secret wish, but he wasn’t having any of it. He wanted to know.

“What did she say?”

“Really, Seth, it wasn’t anything important.”

“Tell me what she said,” he demanded.

Embarrassed to say, but knowing he wouldn’t leave it alone until she told him, she replied, “She asked if I was going to be their new mommy.”

Lily stood and walked to the nearby railing before she murmured, “I told you it wasn’t anything important.”

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128

Sandy Sullivan

Seth didn’t say anything, but his mind whirled. Anne wanted Lily to be their new mommy--that was obvious. As her words echoed in his mind, the thought intrigued him. He wondered if he could possibly marry the beautiful woman standing in front of him to give his children a mother. She was very good with them. She was patient, loving, and smart. And the town thought of her as a widow, so it wouldn’t be that strange to them, even though he knew differently. Of course, it would only be for the children. He knew there could never be a real relationship between them since he hadn’t found Victoria’s killers. Could he live with her in this house under the ruse of a platonic relationship? Could he see her every day, live with her every day, without touching her?

“Seth?”

The sound of her calling his name brought him out of his musings. She moved back to the chair near him.

“I’m sorry,” he replied. “I was just contemplating something. I’m glad Anne talked to you, although she obviously asked you something that was somewhat silly.”

“Silly? I really didn’t think it silly. Those children need a mother figure in their lives. Carmen is good with them, but she’s not like their mother. It’s a different type of relationship a mother has with her children. Don’t get me wrong: she loves them like they were hers, but it’s just not the same for them. If they had been younger, maybe it would have been easier but now…” Her voice trailed off while he let his gaze move over her face in a caress.

* * * *

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Seth looked at her with a peculiar emotion in his eyes, and it made her nervous. He'd never stared at her like that before.

“Lily, would you marry me?”

Her mouth dropped open in shock.
He didn't just ask me to marry him,
did he?
“You—you can’t be serious! We don’t even know one another that well. And well, you don’t love me, and I don’t love you. Really, this is absolutely ludicrous,” she said, her voice starting to crescendo. She jumped to her feet again during her tirade and turned to face the yard.

Once she finished her speech about why they couldn’t or shouldn’t marry, she realized Seth had risen to his feet and was now standing directly behind her. He took her by the arm and swung her around to face him. She watched his head come down before he captured her mouth with his in a heart-pounding, puddle-on-the-floor kiss that caused her toes to curl in her shoes.

He stood there for several minutes, caressing her mouth while her hands rested on his chest and his arms encircled her waist. When he finally lifted his head and stepped back, her heart still slammed against her ribs, and her legs felt weak.

“I think we get along well enough. Even though we aren’t in love with each other, we can at least stand to be in the same room together. Besides, I’m thinking of the children, Lily. You agree they need a mother figure in their lives, and who better than someone they care about, trust and listen to?

Could you marry me for the children’s sake? It would be a completely platonic relationship between us, of course. Folks around here wouldn’t think anything of it, since they believe you to be a widow. They would just think I’ve taken you in, especially after the attack last night. They would think I offered to care for you, a single woman in this harsh environment.”

He went on and on as if he hadn’t just kissed the daylights out of her.

She stood there for a moment looking at him as though he had just grown horns. When she could speak again, all she could say was, “You can’t be serious, Seth.”

“I’m perfectly serious. Are you saying you won’t marry me?” He sounded almost hurt, like a spoiled child who had just gotten his toy taken away.

“I… well… I… uh…” Lily stammered, trying to decide how to answer him.
Could I possibly marry him?

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130

Sandy Sullivan

She wasn’t in love with him, or at least she didn’t think she was, but she’d never been in love before, so how would she know? She liked him well enough, and she adored the children, but could she make the sacrifice to marry him for their sake? They couldn’t even agree on whether to tell the children the truth about their mother.

Lily’s mind whirled as she remembered that his kisses did do terribly wonderful things to her body. Would they have a real relationship eventually? He said it would be a completely platonic relationship. Could she live in the same house with him and not touch him or want him to kiss her?

“I just don’t know, Seth,” she answered in a daze. “I’ll have to think about this for a bit. I can’t just jump into marrying anyone. Can I give you an answer tomorrow?”

“Of course, there isn’t a rush. I know you could help so much with the children, and living with me, you wouldn’t have to worry about any more trouble in town.” He pulled out the big guns, she realized, when he referred to her love of the three in the house and her scare from the night before.

“Well, let me sleep on it, and I’ll let you know tomorrow.” She turned to retreat to the safety of the guest room—Victoria’s room.

She couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Seth's kiss rippled across her mind, and she tossed and turned while her body burned with each thought. She contemplated spending the rest of her life with him. Would she ever be able to touch him? Would he ever kiss her again? Probably not, and the thought left her heart feeling like it was breaking in two.

She finally fell into a fitful sleep about dawn, but when the children were up and about, Anne bounded into her room to wake her for breakfast.

Lily groaned and rolled over, trying desperately to ignore the bubbling child bouncing on the bed next to her.

Anne said in her ear, “You must get up, Miss Lily. Carmen’s making pancakes this morning.”

Lily pulled the blanket off her head, and Anne giggled at the sight of her hair. It was a tangled mess about her head, and as Lily peered at the child with one opened eye, Anne laughed out loud.

* * * *

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Seth was walking down the hall toward the dining room when he heard a child’s giggle coming from Lily’s room. He stopped at the open door and peered in to see Lily and Anne as they rolled on the bed. Lily was tickling Anne until she giggled heartily.

He smiled while he watched, amazed at how easily Lily had fit into their lives in such a short time. He had heard her pacing during the night for quite some time before he finally fell asleep. Now here she was, wrestling on the bed with his daughter like neither of them had a care in the world.

“Are you two going to wrestle all morning, or are you going to get dressed and come to breakfast? I might just eat all the pancakes myself if you two don’t hurry up.” He laughed at the pair while he lounged against the doorframe, watching them.

Lily’s face turned bright pink after she brushed the tangled mass of hair out of her face and realized Seth stood in the doorway.

“We’ll be there in a moment. We certainly don’t want your father to eat them all, do we, Anne?”

The child sat in the middle of the bed and smiled at her father before she shouted, “No. Pancakes are my favorite!” She jumped down from the bed and scurried out of the room, not the least bit aware of the shocked expression on her father’s face.

He stood there for a moment staring at Lily when the realization struck that his daughter finally had spoken after all this time. Lily had told him she had, but to hear her voice almost brought tears to his eyes.

“She spoke,” he whispered in awe.

Lily got out of the bed and now stood in her nightgown in front of him.

“I told you she had,” Lily reminded him. “She was scared, Seth. She was afraid everyone she loved would disappear if she talked to them—like her mother. I guess she had talked to Victoria right before she left that morning, and Anne was afraid it was something she said that made her leave.”

“She spoke!” He grabbed Lily and swung her around in circles.

Seth realized at the same time as Lily, her state of undress when he could feel her bare breasts pressed against his chest through her nightgown.

The blood roared in his ears when he looked into her eyes and saw the same desire in hers.

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132

Sandy Sullivan

Lord, how I want this woman.
He let her slide down his body to stand on the floor in front of him. He bent his head to take her lips with his until he heard the boys come running through the front door, which they slammed soundly behind them.

“Excuse me. I’m sorry. I need to get dressed.” Lily stepped back and drew her nightgown up around her neck as she retreated farther into the room.

Embarrassed at the reaction he was sure was still written across his face, he replied, “I … uh … I’ll see if breakfast is ready.”

Desire boiled in his veins and continued to grip him in its clutches when he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it. He was amazed at how fast Lily could cause the desire to rage out of control. Not even Victoria could do that so quickly. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t been with anyone since she died.
That has to be it.
He inhaled deeply and headed for the kitchen.

* * * *

Lily stood holding her nightgown to her throat until she finally heard Seth’s footsteps heading down the hall. She took a deep breath to still her heart and then pulled her clothing out of the bureau. She slipped out of her nightgown and into her clean clothes in preparation for breakfast. She grabbed her brush and ran it through the knots in her hair until it was tangle-free and shiny. She pulled it back in a ribbon and slipped on her shoes before she grabbed the doorknob with trepidation. Today she would need to tell Seth whether she would marry him. Today might be the answer to the rest of her life, if she accepted. Or perhaps she would end up alone, alone and lonely, without him by her side and without his children to love. She headed for the kitchen to face either her new family or the end of her existence in their lives.

The bright faces of the children at the table met her eyes, and she couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have them around her forever. Anne had come such a long way in the few short weeks since she had been in Parkville, and both Johnny and Jarod had become brighter and more talkative. Even Seth seemed to be in a better mood the last couple of Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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Love’s Sweet Surrender

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days. Johnny hadn’t mentioned Seth drinking, so maybe in a way, he was healing, too.

“Good morning.” She sat down next to Seth in the empty seat that had quickly become her place at the table.

“How did you sleep?”

“All right, I suppose.”

“It sounded like you paced a lot last night.”

A knowing smile quirked at his lips, and she raised an eyebrow as she wondered,
how would you know unless you were up, too?

“What are your plans today?”

“I really don’t have any, but I’m not used to being idle.”

“I need to ride out and check some fences. Would you care to join me?

Of course, you’d have to ride straddle, since I don’t have any side saddles around.” He gave her that small, sexy smile that made her heart skip a beat.

“That might be a little difficult since I don’t have any trousers in my wardrobe.”

“That can be remedied. I’m sure we have something around here you can wear if you’d like to go. You can ride a horse, can’t you?” His teasing made her relax. At least this was a safe subject, unlike whether she would marry him or not.