Love's Sweet Surrender (28 page)

Stopping his horse for a moment, he turned to look at her as she stopped beside him. He reached over with one arm, pulled her into the saddle with him and kissed her. She melted against his chest while his lips played on hers. When he lifted his head, he looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, too. Please don’t ever think I don’t, all right?”

“I won’t. I know you are upset about what we found in the cabin, but it will be all right. Please don’t let it ruin what we have.” Terror gripped her insides.

“Not on your life, woman. I just found you, and I’m not letting you go that easily.” His lips settled on hers again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, hanging on for dear life.

After their long, passionate kiss, he finally lifted his head, and he gave her that sexy smile he saved just for her. When he settled her back onto her own horse, they headed for home.

They rode into the yard, and Anne came bounding out of the house to greet them. Now that the child was comfortable with the fact that Lily wouldn’t be going anywhere, she was a chatterbox again. In rapid succession she fired questions off at the adults before they could even Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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dismount their horses. She wanted to know where they went, what they did, if they saw any animals, did they get caught in the rainstorm, what was for supper, and what games they would play tonight. Lily smiled at the little girl while she tried to answer each question. She finally laughed and gave up.

“Sweetheart, I can’t answer your questions as fast as you’re asking them.

Let’s go inside while you father puts the horses away.”

* * * *

Seth took the horses to the barn, smiling when he watched his wife with their little girl. He just couldn’t believe he was so fortunate to have found two loves in his life, and he marveled at how easily Lily had filled the void Victoria’s death had caused.

Victoria.
The smile slid from his face, and fear of the unknown clouded his mind. He knew sooner or later he would retrieve the letters from the line shack. He didn’t have a choice now that he knew they were there. He didn’t want Lily to know what was in them until he’d been able to read them himself. His mind whirled at the possible contents, and he knew this was something he couldn’t share with Lily, not yet.

That night while he lay in the silent room, his mind drifted back to those mocking pieces of paper. He had just made passionate love to Lily, and she now lay sleeping soundly on his chest as he traced little circles on her arm.

He loved her, God how he loved her. She was everything to him, but terror filled his heart at the betrayal he feared those letters held. The information could create a void between him and the love he held for his precious new wife. It might be something they wouldn’t be able to broach.

Tomorrow.
Tomorrow he would retrieve the letters, and he would visit Victoria’s grave. He had to find out what secrets those sheets of paper held that could possibly change his life forever.

The sky turned purple, then pink as the morning sun rose in the sky, and Seth slipped silently from the bed without waking Lily. He quickly dressed, picking up his boots and treading quietly from the room before he pulled the door closed behind him.

He stopped in the dining room to slip on his boots, but was startled when a voice behind him asked, “Where are you off to so early this morning?”

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“Carmen, you scared the devil out of me,” he whispered. “What are you doing up so early?”

He didn’t want to have to explain himself to his housekeeper, but he could tell she had more insight into his movements than was good for him.

“I’m always up this early, Mr. Seth, but you ain’t. And someone needs to scare the devil out of you if you are leaving that pretty wife of yours in your bed while you sneak off.” She tapped her foot and reprimanded him with her hands on her hips.

“I’m not sneaking anywhere, Carmen.” He gave her an innocent smile, but he didn't think she bought it. “I have a couple of errands to run in town, and I wanted to be up and gone early to get them done before church.”

“Is that right? You sure become a God-fearing man lately.” Her gaze raked him from head to toe.

“I suppose so,” he replied when he finished putting on his boots. He grabbed his hat and headed out to the barn to saddle his horse.

Seth rode up to the front of the line shack and sat for a long time on his horse, scared to go inside. The letters were there, mocking him from the interior of the cabin. He finally swung his leg over the saddle and settled on the ground. He tied his horse to the porch, and terror gripped his heart while his hand froze on the doorknob.
I have to know.
He finally turned the knob and walked inside.

In the dim light of the morning, he could see the bundle of letters still sitting where they had left them. How many times had she come here to put a letter in the hole? How long had this been going on under his nose? How could she betray him like this? Thoughts scattered across his mind as he slowly made his way to the table, picked up the bundle and sank into the chair. He was scared to open them. He pulled out some matches he’d brought and lit the small candle sitting there. Finally, he untied the bundle and took the one on the bottom, pulling the sheet from the envelope. He read:

“July, 1871

Dear Daniel,

I needed to write this. I don’t even know if you’ll ever see it, but I had to. You see, I just found out I’m going to have a baby. A baby, Daniel, can you believe me with a baby? I told Seth last night, and he’s so happy. He wants a child, but I fear one thing: are you the father, or is he? The days Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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we’ve spent in this cabin fill my mind each time I’m with him, and I can’t avoid it. I love him, Daniel, I really do, but the magic you and I create when our bodies come together—-I just don’t know how to explain it. I know you and Seth have been at odds for years. You hate him, I know, because I can see it whenever I mention his name to you. I fear this is all a game to you to see who is better, you or him. I can’t get you out of my mind, so for now, we just have to leave things as they are. God help me, but I don’t know if I want you to be the father of this baby or him. I must go now, because he’ll wonder where I am. He never stops me from my daily rides, so until tomorrow…

Love,

Victoria.”

God! How could I have been so stupid! I trusted her.

He loved her so much for so long and to know now she had betrayed him, betrayed his love with that bastard, was just too much.

He dropped the letter and closed his eyes when the birth of Johnny came rushing into his mind, his sweet son, his first-born. He knew it wasn't normal for the husband to be present at the birth of a child, but he'd insisted.

He wanted to be there no matter what, and he had been. He'd held her hand when the pain ripped across her body with each contraction, and when the little baby had slipped from her body into Carmen’s waiting hands, he wept like a child.

He’d never questioned the fact that Johnny had been born with a full head of dark hair. He'd never asked over the years when his boy had retained that dark complexion, dark hair and dark eyes because he loved her.

Tears sparkled on his lashes as he picked up the next envelope and opened it with shaking hands. He unfolded the next sheet of paper.

“April, 1872

Dear Daniel,

The baby is here. He was born several days ago, and I had to come here.

We haven’t seen each other for a while since it has been difficult for me to ride while I carried our child. Yes, our child, Daniel. When he was born it was obvious to me that you are his father. There was no denying his parentage as I held him to my breast for the first time. He’s beautiful, Daniel. You would be so proud to call him your son, but that cannot be.

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There is no way I can tell Seth he’s not the baby’s father. He would kill me if he knew; of this, I’m sure. I will raise him knowing you are his father, but I can never tell Seth what has happened between us. For now, I will be the only one who knows, and I’ll cherish the thought until we can be together again.

Until then…

All my love,

Victoria.”

Seth dropped the letter next to the first one and then picked up the third and a fourth, continuing to read each and every letter until all of them lay open on the table, mocking him.

Daniel was the father of both Johnny and Jarod. It was so obvious to him now. He wanted to kick himself for not seeing it sooner. His sweet little Anne, she was his. His precious little girl, he knew in his heart, was his daughter. Victoria mentioned her birth in the letters, too, and she had said she was certain Seth was the child’s father, much to her disappointment.

Victoria’s words told him she and Daniel hadn’t been together at the time of Anne’s conception.

He sat in stunned silence.
Will the fact that Daniel is the boys’ father
change how I feel about them in my heart?

“No! I love them,” he shouted. “No matter what, I
am
their father!”

After several minutes he picked up the pile of papers, stood and walked to the fireplace against the wall. He laid them on the grate, struck a match and held it to the paper until the flames licked at the corners. He stared while the flames grew higher and higher, continuing to watch until they were nothing but ashes.

After the flames had gone out completely, and there were not even embers left in the grate, Seth pulled himself up and walked out of the cabin, not looking back.

He mounted his horse and kicked the animal into a hard gallop. He needed to erase the betrayal of Victoria from his heart. The wind whipped through his hair, drying the tears on his face.

When his horse was winded and foam had gathered on his hide, Seth finally slowed him to a walk. Seth realized where he was. Victoria’s grave stood haunting him from the hillside, and he slowly walked the horse toward Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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it. Reaching her resting place, he dismounted and dropped the reins in the grass. He walked to her headstone and crouched down, running his fingers over the letters he had engraved there.

“Victoria Marie Sanford. Beloved wife and mother. Born 1851. Died 1883. Aged 32 years.”

“How could you, Victoria? I loved you, and I thought you loved me too.

You were my life, and you betrayed my love with that bastard! All because he couldn’t give you what I could? I gave you everything,” he yelled wildly, pounding his fist on the headstone in anger. The rage, the betrayal, the hurt all welled up inside him like a dam ready to burst.

“Were you headed to meet him the day you were killed? Each and every day you went riding, was it to meet him? I held you while you lay dying in my arms, and all the while you were headed over to betray me again. You faithless bitch!” He stood up and kicked her headstone, breaking it in half. It toppled over and lay silently on the ground beneath the tree. He spun around, grabbed the reins of his horse and mounted swiftly, kicking him in the sides as they tore off, headed for home.

* * * *

Time came for the family to leave for church, but Seth still hadn’t returned. Luckily, Johnny knew how to hitch the team to the wagon, which he did with quiet efficiency.

Lily looked over her shoulder in the direction she knew Seth had taken that morning before she snapped the reins and the wagon lurched forward.

The thoughts running through her head while they bumped along bothered her. What would happen between them when he read those letters? How would he feel knowing his precious Victoria had possibly betrayed him? She so wished he had come home before they left. She knew in her heart he needed her, but she also knew he would have to deal with this in his own way.

The church services stretched on for what seemed like hours. Lily couldn’t concentrate on anything the preacher said as his voice droned on in her head. When he was finally finished, she almost ran from the church, unable to wait any longer. She needed to see her husband. She needed to Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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know everything would be all right, now that she was sure he’d found out the truth.

“Where is Seth today?” She knew instantly to whom the mocking tone belonged when she turned to see Daniel leaning up against the side of the church.

“That’s none of your business.” She gathered the children and headed for the wagon.

“He really shouldn’t leave his pretty wife unattended. She might be tempted to stray.” His mocking tone irritated her past the point of politeness.

“You really are a bastard, Daniel, you know that?” She walked around the side of the wagon to pull herself up in the driver’s seat, but before she could, she felt strong hands grasp her waist and lift her into the seat. She shuddered with revulsion.

With a tip of his hat in her direction, Daniel sauntered off toward the boarding house.

Lily sat for a moment trying to calm her anger at his audacity. He obviously thought he could steal her affection from Seth, like he probably had Victoria’s. What he was completely unaware of was that Lily loved her husband with all her heart, and, without a doubt, would never do anything to hurt him.

When the wagon rolled into the yard, Lily could see Seth’s gelding in the paddock, so she knew he was home from his morning errand.