LOVING ELLIE (4 page)

A few minutes later he joined her back in the kitchen.

“Find anything?” she asked, concern etching her face.

“It needs a new filter.  The old one is full.”

A look of relief swept over her pretty features.  “So that’s why the heater hasn’t been putting heat out the way it should have been?”

“Possibly, but it looks like it’s been awhile since it had any preventative maintenance done to it.  Might be a good idea to have someone take a look at it.”

“I’ll call tomorrow.”  She motioned across the room toward the antique oak pedestal table.  “Sit down and drink your coffee before it gets cold.” 

He eyed the single steaming cup of coffee that waited there and then her questioningly.  “You’re not having any?”

She shook her head.  “Not for a few more months.”

“Of course,” he said, nodding in understanding.  “The baby.”

“My doctor and all the books I’ve read recommend avoiding caffeine if possible.”

“Smart girl.”  Only she wasn’t a girl.  She was a full grown woman.  One with her own mind. 

She crossed the room to busy herself at the sink.

He forced his gaze away from Ellie, letting it sweep the room instead.  “Place sure does look different.”

She looked around with a soft smile.  “Just a fresh coat of paint and some new curtains.”

“Looks nice,” he said as he settled into a chair at the table.

“Thanks.”

Reaching for the cup, he dragged it toward him.  He leaned over the steaming brew.  “Mmm...sure smells good.”

“Can I get you some cream or sugar?”

“No thanks.  I drink my coffee black.”

“Like Jarrett.”  Her gaze flew to his.  “I’m so sorry.  I really don’t mean to keep mentioning−”

“It’s okay,” he said, cutting off her apology.  “I don’t mind you talking about my brother.  It’s better than trying to keep all those memories bottled up inside you.”  The way he had done when Anna had died.

She walked over to open the oven door.  “I warmed up some cinnamon rolls. I thought you might be hungry.  They’re homemade.”

The smell of warm sugar and cinnamon drifted out past the open oven door, making his mouth water.  “I’m thinking you won’t have to twist my arm any.”  He’d always had a weakness for sweet rolls.

“Good.”  Slipping her hand into a potholder, she pulled the cookie sheet from the oven and set it atop the stove.  Grabbing two plates, she placed several of the warmed rolls on one and then carried them over to the table, setting the empty plate down in front of Lucas.  “Help yourself.”

He took two, placing one on his plate and bringing the other to his mouth.  “If these are half as good as your coffee...” he mumbled as he bit into it. 

“As much as I’d like to take credit for the cinnamon rolls, I didn’t make them.”

As the taste of maple and cinnamon settled on his tongue, it came to him.  “Mrs. Mulrooney.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s who made these.”  He knew Alice Mulrooney well.  “She used to make these for Jarrett and me when she kept us overnight.  She was our babysitter when we were growing up.”

“I know.”

“Did Jarrett ever tell you that she used to call us her ‘sweet little imps’.”  A term he hadn’t thought about for a very long time.

She laughed softly.  “No, but I can think I can understand why.”

“I’m going to let that one slide,” he said with a smile.  Then his gaze dropped to her stomach.  It wouldn’t be long before another ‘sweet little imp’ would be making his or her presence known.

He nudged the chair next to his away from the table with his boot.  “Join me, Ellie.  Looks like there’s more than enough to go around.”

She hesitated so long he was certain she was going to refuse his request, but then she surprised him by settling onto the chair beside him.  But she didn’t eat.  Instead, she just sat there, staring at the snowman covered tablecloth in front of her.

He studied her as he took a sip of the coffee she’d made for him.  “Not hungry?”

She looked up.  “Not really.  I ate before I came home this evening.”

“Came home?  From where?” 

“The coffee shop.”

Disbelief filled him, followed by anger.  “You went into town in this weather?  Hell, Ellie, do you have any idea how bad the roads are?”  Hadn’t his brother’s death taught her not to take foolish risks out on the icy roads?  Especially in her condition.

“I closed early,” she replied.  “And was extra careful driving home. 

“Closed early?”

“I own the local coffee shop, which means I can’t play hooky.  Even though I’d like to sometimes.”

“So you’re working full-time?”

“I don’t have a choice.  My bills won’t pay themselves.”

“Jarrett had money.”

“What does that have to do with me?”
                Was she serious?  “You were engaged to my brother.  You’re carrying his child.  I’d say that makes you entitled to his money.”

“Jarrett’s money is in probate,” she pointed out.

He frowned.  “I hadn’t considered that.”

“Besides, I don’t need his money,” she said, pride stiffening her spine.  “I’m fully capable of supporting myself.”

Maybe she could, but that wasn’t the point.  “You shouldn’t have to work right now.”

She arched a disapproving brow.  “I should have known you were one of those.”

“One of those?”

“Men who think women should sit home barefoot and pregnant.”

She had him all wrong, but he wasn’t about to drag up the past to explain the reason for his concern to her.  “I’m far from a male chauvinist,” he assured her with a frown.  “But I do have reason to worry.  You’re carrying my niece or nephew.  How far along are you anyway?”

“Almost seven months.”

“And how many hours a week do you put in at the coffee shop?”

“Whatever it takes.”

“And the ranch.”

“The same.  What’s with all the questions?”

“I’m trying to make a point.  You’re pushing yourself too hard.  Don’t you have family around here that could have helped you out, either with the coffee shop or the ranch?”

She looked away.  “I don’t have any family.  Haven’t for a very long time.”

And now she’d lost his brother as well.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said as she reached for a sweet roll, not eating it, but picking at it nervously.  “I’ve managed to survive on my own for most of my life.  I can do it again.”

He bit back a curse.  Ellie was burning the candle at both ends,
and
in the middle from the sound of things.  And in doing so she risked the life of his brother’s child.  Well, he wasn’t about to stand by and let anything bad happen to her or the baby.

“I’ll see to the ranch while I’m here,” he told her.

“You’re staying here?  At the ranch?”

“That’s what I’d intended.”

The surprise faded slowly from her face.  “Of course.  I’ll go gather up my things.  The apartment above the coffee shop is still empty.”  She started to rise.

“Hold up,” he said, stopping her.  “You aren’t going anywhere in that weather.”

“I can’t stay here.”

“You live here,” he reminded her.  “I’m only here until the estate is settled.  In the meantime, I’ll take over seeing to the animals and give you a much needed break.”

“But this ranch belongs to you, not me.”

“It belonged to Jarrett and should rightfully go to his child.  As should any money my brother left behind.” 

She looked away.  “I don’t want his money.  And I intend to make sure our son has everything he’ll ever need while growing up.”

“Son?  You’re having a boy?”

“Yes.”

“Did Jarrett know?”

She gave a slight nod.  “We found out a week before the accident.”

A knot of emotion formed in his throat.  “I’m sure he was ecstatic over the news.”

“He was,” came her whispered reply.

“You know as well as I do that Jarrett would want his son raised here.  This ranch has been in our family for generations.”

She stood and walked away to stand at the sink, her back to him.  “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“I understand.  Tomorrow I’ll look for a place to stay while I’m here.  For tonight, I’ll bed down in the barn.”

She turned with a sigh.  “I can’t let you do that.  You have as much right, if not more than I do, to be here.  And it’s not like there isn’t room for the both of us.  You can take Jarrett’s old room.”

Jarrett’s old room?  Why wasn’t she sleeping in there?  Had grief sent her away from his brother’s bed?  From his memory?  Just as it had him from Anna’s.

“As long as you promise that my being here isn’t going to keep you from getting a good night’s sleep.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.  I’ll be out like a light the moment my head hits the pillow.”

“All the more proof you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.” 

“Will you stop treating me like I’m some fragile piece of china!  I’m not.”  

The last thing he’d meant to do was upset her, but he also couldn’t help being concerned about her welfare.  Not after what he’d been through with his own wife. 

“Ellie, I owe it to my brother to make certain his son makes it safely into this world.  So prepare to be treated like china until that time comes.”

“The baby isn’t due for months,” she pointed out.

“I know,” he said, taking another drink of the coffee she’d made for him.  He’d been through this pregnancy thing once before and had sworn never to put himself in that position again.  Easy to do when he had no emotion left to give another woman.  Now here he was caught up in another unexpected pregnancy.   

“Are you telling me you plan on staying here in Eagle Ridge until the baby’s born?” she half-stuttered, her green eyes rounding like huge emerald discs.

She almost sounded fearful of the possibility.  “Like it or not, Ellie, you need my help.  And before you get started on my doing this out of pity, keep in mind that the child you’re carrying is all the family I have left in this world and I’m not about to walk out on him.”

“Why not?  You walked out on family once before.”

Her remark hit home - hard.  He looked at her with a frown.  “Is that what you think?  That I wanted to leave? 

“You chose to leave,” she said.  “All I know is that Jarrett wanted you here, to be a part of his life, and you weren’t.”

Jaw clenched, he pushed away from the table and stood.  “To set the record straight, I didn’t have a choice.  My leaving was a matter of self-preservation.  But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.” 

“Lucas...”

“Let it go, Ellie,” he said icily.  His gaze moved past her to the small bay window above the sink.  Outside the snow was still coming down hard.  “I need to get out there and get the rest of that firewood.”  He carried his plate and mug to the sink.  “Don’t wait up for me.  You need your sleep.” He walked out without waiting for a reply. 

Lucas grabbed for his coat and hat on the way out, anger surging through him.  Ellie had no idea what it had cost him to leave Eagle Ridge all those years before.  To leave behind the only place he’d ever called home.  A brother he loved.  The only life he’d ever known.  At least what was left of it after Anna and the baby had died.  But he’d had no choice.  There were too many painful memories there for him. 

Despite the circumstances surrounding the death of his wife and child, he couldn’t help but feel responsible.  He’d gotten Anna pregnant. 

Now here he was back in Eagle Ridge, once again having to make a decision that came with very few choices.  Abandon Ellie and the child she carried, or stay and face the ghosts of his past.  As much as he hated opening himself up to the pain he’d left behind, he would be staying. 

CHAPTER
FOUR

Ellie stood at the frosted bedroom window, staring out into the predawn light.  Lucas Tanner’s arrival had stirred up emotions she didn’t want to feel.  Pain.  Fear.  Need.

It was the needing part that scared her the most, because need was the most dangerous emotion of all to succumb to.  It made people vulnerable.  Could swallow a person whole if given the chance.

My leaving back then was a matter of survival.
  Lucas’s words played through her mind. 
But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.  She knew a great deal about survival – both mental and physical.  She found herself wishing Jarrett had opened up more to her about his brother.  Then again, there was a lot in her own life she hadn’t shared with anyone, not even Jarrett.  So where did she get off judging Lucas the way she had?  She who had always hated how people judged without having the facts had done just that.  No wonder he’d been angry. 

She turned away with a troubled sigh, letting the ruffled window curtain fall back into place.  It was early, but she hadn’t been able to drift back to sleep.  Instead, she’d dressed and mentally prepared herself to face the remnants of the previous night’s storm as she headed out to check on the animals. 

Jarrett’s bedroom door was cracked open as it had been when she went to bed, forcing Ellie to tread lightly as she moved through the house.  While she owed Lucas an apology, she wasn’t ready to face him again.  Not yet.

When she reached the doorway, she nearly slipped in the water Lucas had insisted he would clean up after bringing in the rest of the firewood.

Grabbing a couple of paper towels from the kitchen, she cleaned up the forgotten pool of water.  A chill from the wintry weather outside had settled over the house making her shiver.  A glance into the darkened living room revealed the faint glow of ashes in the fireplace.  No wonder the house felt so cold.

She made her way into the room to add a couple of logs to the fire and was surprised to find no more wood had been added to the kindling box.  Had Lucas decided not to stay after all?

After adding more wood to the dying fire, Ellie made her way back through the house to the partially closed door, needing to know that her guilt had been misplaced.  Poking her head inside, her gaze followed the pale glow of dawn streaking in through an opening in the curtains.  The bed was empty.  Made up just the way it had been since the accident.  Lucas hadn’t returned.  That would explain why nothing he’d said he’d see to had been done. 

Ellie gave a brittle laugh.  Just when she thought she’d judged him unfairly, he had proven his true colors.  Lucas Tanner wasn’t the sort of man a person could put their trust in.  He was the kind of man that ran off the moment life got a little tough.

A loud thump on the floor at his feet had Lucas shooting upright.

A high-pitch shriek followed.

“Ellie?” he said as he blinked away the sleep.

“Lucas?” she gasped as she stood looking down at him.  The overhead light behind her cast soft shadows across her face.

He stretched with a yawn.  “Morning.”

“What are you doing out here?”

Unzipping the sleeping bag, he pushed free of it, getting to his feet.  “I
was
sleeping,” he said with a grin.

“I gathered as much,” she said, her gloved hand flattened against her heart.  “You nearly scared the daylights out of me.”

“I could say the same thing,” he replied, his gaze dropping to the floor beside her.

“I was going to sweep the barn before I left for work.”  She bent to retrieve the fallen broom, her gaze never leaving his.

Ellie reminded him of a winter woodland nymph with those big green eyes and hair dusted a shimmery white.

“I see the snow hasn’t stopped.”  He reached out to brush several glistening flakes from her hair.

“Not completely,” she said softly.

A horse whinnied somewhere in the barn.

The intimacy of what he was doing hit him and he jerked his hand away.

Ellie took a step back.  “What are you doing out here?”

“Would you believe I have a thing for sleeping on straw-covered floors?”

“As opposed to a warm bed?”

Reaching out, he took the broom from her hands.  “I’ll see to the floors.”

“Like you saw to more firewood?”

His dark brow quirked.  “It’s on the porch.  I couldn’t get back into the house last night.  The door was locked.”

A frown pulled at her lips.  “It wasn’t locked.  The latch sticks sometimes.  You have to use your shoe to whack it loose.”

“I’m moving that to the top of my
things-to-do
list.”

“Why didn’t you knock?  I could’ve let you in through the back door?”

“By the time I’d looked in on the animals and gathered up the firewood, your bedroom light was out.  As tired as you were earlier, I wasn’t about to wake you up when I had a perfectly good barn to sleep in.”

“You could have frozen to death out here.”

He stood looking down at her, suddenly aware of how petite she really was.  She couldn’t stand much more than five foot one or two in her stocking feet.  He supposed her stubbornness and determination made up for her size, but she was still a woman alone.  One who was biting off more than she could chew.   

The concern in her eyes had him offering a reassuring smile.  “I’d like to think I’m a little tougher than that.”

“You’re also human,” she reminded him with a frown.  “People die.”  Turning, she walked out of the small storage room.

That was one thing he didn’t need reminded of.  He knew all about death and dying.

Reaching down for the sleeping bag, he shook several pieces of loose straw from its outer shell.  Then he rolled the weathered bag back up and bound it with the attached straps before carrying it over to the shelf he’d gotten it from.

Growing up, he and Jarrett had stored their camping equipment in there.  Thankfully, his brother had hung onto everything or he might have frozen.  As it was, the heavy-duty sleeping bag had kept the frigid temperatures at bay and his body warm.

The subtle scent of raspberries and something lightly floral drifted past him and he knew without turning that Ellie had returned. 

“Lucas...”  Her soft voice confirmed it.

He shoved the bundle further back on the shelf and then turned to face her. 

She bit at her bottom lip as she stood in the doorway.  “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“What I said last night...  I had no right.”

“Sometimes things get said in the heat of the moment.  Don’t worry about it.”  He tried hard not to hold grudges.  Life was too short for that.  If only he could forgive himself.  But that was something likely never to happen in this lifetime.

A horse whinnied again, drawing her attention. 

“They’re hungry,” he said, moving past her.

“I’ll help,” she called after him as he walked away.

He stopped and turned.  “Ellie...”  It was a warning.

“Save your breath, Lucas,” she said stubbornly.  “I’m helping and this is one argument you aren’t going to win.”

He sighed.  “Somehow I already knew that.”

Ellie couldn’t contain her victorious smile as she watched Lucas walk away.  Long, confident strides that said a lot about the kind of man he was.

“That’s Cash,” she called out, referring to the sleek black quarter horse he had stopped to admire.  “Your brother bought him a couple of years ago.”

He nodded.  “Jarrett mentioned him in a few of his letters.”  He reached up to stroke the horse’s nose.  “He’s a real looker.”

“When Jarrett wasn’t working in his office those two were virtually inseparable.”

Reaching out, he stroked the stallion’s nose.  “I can see why my brother was so taken with him.”

Ellie stepped away and Lucas followed her through the barn where they fed two other horses, Jarrett’s mule and Flo the milk cow. 

“Why did your brother name his mule Thunder?” she asked.

“Because he was always thundering along,” he replied with a slight quirk to his lips.  “At least at mule speed.”

His ease with the animals impressed her.  Animals were good at reading people and they seemed to trust Lucas.  Even Cash had taken right to him.  She had to wonder if it was because Lucas had a lot of the same features Jarrett had.  Or maybe it was the soothing tone of his voice when he spoke to them.  That low, husky timbre had an effect on her as well. 

“Jarrett told me your father was a doctor,” she said, making conversation as they left the barn.

Lucas nodded.  “He was the local doctor here in Eagle Ridge for over thirty years.”

She heard the pride in Lucas’s voice as he spoke of his father.  “He must have been very good at–” the remainder of her words became nothing more than a shriek as she lost her footing on the icy ground beside the corral.   

His arm was there in a flash, curled about her not-so-slender waist to steady her.  “Watch yourself.”

“I’m usually more graceful than this,” she said, her face warming. 

His gaze slid down to the bulge in her coat.  “I think being a little off balance is to be expected under the circumstances.”

“I suppose so.”  She glanced down with a frown.  “I can’t wait until I can finally see my feet again.”

Much to her surprise, he chuckled.  “Maybe if they weren’t such tiny feet...”

“They used to be smaller.”

He arched a questioning brow.

“Apparently pregnancy can cause all sorts of physical changes in a woman.  Bigger feet being one of them.”

“Well, since you can’t see them, let me assure you that your feet are the perfect size.  And
your
boots look a lot better on you than my brother’s did.”  That said, he released his hold on her and turned his attention to the corral. 

“For your information, cowboy, my boots were still drying in the kitchen last night.” She watched his hand sweep across the top rail, knocking the snow from it.  “That’s why I was wearing Jarrett’s.”

“You need to get yourself some better boots,” he tossed back over his shoulder as he moved along the fence.  “Those aren’t made for trekking around in this weather.”

He was right, but good boots weren’t cheap.  Any extra cash she had was going toward paying off doctor bills.  She would just have to be more careful when walking.

“I’ll think on it,” was the only commitment she could offer.

“Think hard.”  He slipped in between the fence rails to stand inside the corral.  “Don’t you have to get to work?”

Was that a subtle hint to leave?  Ellie shook her head.  “Not yet.  I’m up early, so I have some time to play around with.”

“Keep in mind it’ll take longer to get into town on those roads,” he warned, his gaze dropping to her stomach.  “On second thought, you aren’t driving yourself to work today.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“Today you do.  I’ll take you.  Just give me a few minutes to finish up here.”

As if she needed him to drive her to work.  “That’s not necessary.”

He paused in what he was doing to pin her with his gaze.  “I say it is.”  Then his expression softened.  “Please, Ellie.  Let me do this for you.  For the baby.”

The roads were bad.  She glanced toward the rental Jeep parked at the edge of the drive leading to the house.  Just as Jarrett’s boots were safer than her own in the snow, Lucas’s Jeep would, without argument, take to the deep snow-covered roads better than her own car.  Her gaze shifted downward.  She had the baby growing inside her to think of.

“Fine,” she said with a resigned sigh.  “You can run me into town.  But we’re not going to make a habit of it.”     

A sound, something like a chuckle, rumbled in the air around him.  But she couldn’t tell for sure as Lucas was working his way around the corral, his back to her.

She watched as he gave each of the snow-topped rails a firm shake. Curious, she stepped up to the fence, leaning onto one of the rails his glove had wiped clean.  “What are you doing?”

“Making sure it’s sturdy.”

She had no doubt it would be.  Jarrett had put a lot of time into the upkeep of the ranch.  He’d loved the place. 
Just as her child might have someday if things have ended up differently
she thought as she ran a hand over her stomach. 

As she stood watching him, she found herself glad he was there.  That anyone was there.  Other than Blaine’s morning stops to help with the animals, it had been a while since she’d had any real visitors at the ranch.  Granted there had been plenty right after Jarrett’s accident.  They came and went non-stop, bringing food to the ranch and offering her their condolences.  And while she had always been more of a loner, she had to admit those visits had helped ease her loneliness.