Loving Sarah (32 page)

“Thank you.” Ian also told Lucky that he wanted to be there with her when she found out, just in case she became upset. Not that he expected it, but he didn’t know with the type of memory loss she had if it would affect her in this way.

“You know, Ian, the babe’s not newly born. I think she’s well over one year old, except she’s so malnourished her growth has been stunted.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She has nearly a mouthful of teeth. And another two came through just on the trip from Portugal. That’s why she was so cranky the entire time,” Lucky replied through his troubled smile. “She was hungry and wanted to eat, but the poor thing’s mouth was hurting. As I remember it, my nieces and nephews were all approximately one and a half when they had a mouth filled with teeth.” Lucky closed his eyes and smiled. After taking a sip from his Spanish wine, he met Ian’s gaze. “And she’s trying to walk too. She pulls herself up but is afraid to let go the furniture.”

“What do you do now?”

“Feed her,” Lucky said, tossing back the remaining wine. “Get her healthy.”

They discussed business for a while. Then Ian sought his bed, knowing that the next night, he would be sleeping in one of the two homes he and Sarah now shared. As a man who’d never owned a home before, it should definitely prove better than a twelve-by-twenty cabin in the stern of his three-masted Baltimore schooner.

C
HAPTER
F
IFTEEN

I
an held his sleepy wife close to his side late the next afternoon as their coaches rolled into London. Lucky asked to be let off at Caversham House on the way into town. “I have some urgent business to attend to, and it really cannot wait.” He nodded, knowing the
business
Lucky meant and hoping he came to a decision on what he would do now that they were back home. He mentioned last night when they were in the privacy of Lucky’s sitting room that he missed the girl and had begun to call her Maura. They’d also discussed when to tell the rest of the family—especially Sarah.

“I understand,” Sarah said, coming awake, preventing Ian from asking what Lucky’s plans were for the child he now had.

“Ian, could you come around after you get settled? I should like you to be here for the meeting I’m about to schedule,” Lucky added.

“Certainly.” Ian looked down at Sarah, leaning into him, half-sleeping already, and smiled. “I shall go while you rest and you’ll never even know I’ve been gone.” She nodded, then closed her eyes and sighed as she curled into his side.

After leaving Lucky at the Upper Brook Street home, Ian and Sarah made their way toward their Mayfair home, just blocks away. Sarah looked up at Ian as she straightened from her nap. “I sent a messenger ahead last night to alert Mrs. Craggins of our arrival. She’s our housekeeper, and her husband is our butler. Elise hired the staff at both houses, because I was bed-ridden at the time.” A worried look crossed her delicate brow. “I wonder if it will ever come back to me, Ian.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’re going to try jogging some of those memories and see what returns.” He hoped beyond all hope she remembered nothing of certain things and everything of others. He prayed she lost those memories such as his accusation of her forcing him into a marriage, or when he told her he was glad she wasn’t carrying a babe. But he wanted her to remember the good things, the days and nights of deeply passionate lovemaking that left them both spent and sated.

The vehicle moved slowly through the evening traffic, and Ian wondered at the meeting Lucky had arranged. Likely, he was having the physician come to check the babe over. That must be it, or perhaps he wanted help composing an advertisement for a nurse. He was soon to need one as well.

Their traveling coach pulled in front of their town home in Mayfair. The waiting butler sent the footman forward to open the door for them. Ian disembarked first, then turned and extended his hand to his wife.

“Thank you,” his wife said to the young man holding the coach door. Ian helped her down, then she turned to the man standing at the base of the steps. “You must be Craggins,” Sarah said.

“Yes, my lady.” The butler turned and motioned to the woman standing at the top step of the entranceway. “And this is Mrs. Craggins.”

“I am delighted to finally meet you both,” Sarah said. “This is my husband, Mr. Ross-Mackeever.” She looked up at the front stone facade of the home. “The home is lovelier than I remembered. I believe we shall be very happy here, Craggins.”

“The entire staff certainly will do all we can to make that so, my lady.”

They took a quick tour of the main level, so Ian could acquaint himself with the home, then soon they found themselves standing in Sarah’s suite. She looked the room over, nodding at the personal effects her maid had arranged throughout. Decorated in her favorite yellow and blue, the room was both bright and cheerful, letting the afternoon sun in. It was a place void of memories for her, and he wondered if it was the right place for her at this time in her recovery. But she chose to come here, signaling to him that she was ready to move forward. He just had to be here if she needed him.

Ian crossed to the doorway adjoining and turned the glass knob. Their shared sitting room was nicely done in deep blues, burgundy, and gold tones, and through an open door straight before him he could see directly into his bedchamber. The enormous room was clearly twice the size of his cabin and the same color scheme carried into this room, except the furniture was heavier and much older.

“Yes, Mrs. Craggins?” Sarah said as the housekeeper entered the room.

“His lordship had no belongings sent over.”

Ian came to stand next to Sarah. “I shall have my things sent over soon. I wanted you to see the cabin as it was during the journey to New York before I remove anything.”

“Oh. I see. Then we shall go first thing in the morning. We can tour the remainder of our home after I rest,” she told the housekeeper. “I’m tired from traveling.”

“I understand. I shall send your maid up to assist you,” the housekeeper said.

After the housekeeper left, Sarah inspected her room as Ian wandered back into his to do the same. He opened another door and saw a large dressing area with drawers and shelves built into one side of the wall and cedar cabinets on the other. On the other end of the long, narrow room was another door. He opened it, expecting to discover a study, and instead saw a bathing chamber with black, gold, and white tiles in an interwoven pattern on the floor and partway up the wall. An enormous cast-iron ceramic-lined tub sat raised upon a dais with steps leading into it. He looked at it, surprised at its size and modern plumbing accoutrement. Hot and cold water taps, both at the tub and in a deep porcelain wash basin, took away the need for servants to carry hot water. As he looked back into the dressing room, he noted the woodwork and pipes around the two rooms appeared new and concluded the chamber to be a recent addition done during the renovations.

The door from his wife’s dressing room opened and she entered, smiling.

“Elise and Lia oversaw all of the renovations.”

“I shall have to remember to thank them,” Ian said as he studied the light sconces. “I just noticed…this entire house is set up for gas lighting. Amazing.” He met his wife’s gaze. “You’ll have to tell me what their favorite beverages are, and I shall send them each a bottle.”

“You can send them each a case if you’d like.”

“It may take some time yet for me to get used to all of this.”

“You will,” his wife reminded him. He felt awkward standing there in a room that he’d never seen before that was now his. Not only that, the entire home was his and the servants were his. He was certain there might even be livery that was his as well.

A soft knock and then a door opening in her chamber alerted them to the maid’s arrival. She took a few steps toward her room, then stopped to ask, “Will I see you for dinner?”

“Of course. Have a tray for two sent up and we shall dine here, in our sitting room.”

He watched her walk away, thinking he’d just witnessed some of the old Sarah’s personality. Either that or she was becoming more comfortable with him. Either way, tomorrow was sure to be interesting for them both. Still unsure if this was the right thing, he wondered if he shouldn’t back out of taking her to
Revenge
. He could tell her there was an infestation of mice and that they needed to reschedule it for another day. But he knew he’d have to face the cabin, and the weeks aboard the boat at some point. If not now, then it would have to be later. Those weeks were the beginning of the time frame of the months she was missing. He didn’t want to lose her if she remembered the hurtful things he’d said to her.

Ian traced a finger along the cool, smooth surface of the tub before quitting the room. He went in search of Craggins and asked him to have a horse sent around. After learning there were none as yet, he made a mental note to see to transportation for the household. He went onto the street and hailed a hackney driver and gave him the direction of Caversham House.

When he arrived, he was shown into the library, where he found Lucky holding a crying baby while Dr. Prescott explained why the child cried.

“Her mouth hurts because she has two molars coming in at the same time,” the elderly man explained. “Overall, I’d say she had a rough start. I see nothing physically wrong with the child, and I think with proper nutrition you should see a vast improvement in her health, including weight gain. But it has been my experience that infants who begin as she has never fully recover from the effects of the malnourishment.”

“What problems will she have?” Lucky asked.

“For one, she may never reach normal height, as her growth will have been stunted. Then again, I could be wrong, only time will tell.” He snapped his bag shut and looked at Ian, finally noticing his presence.

Lucky introduced him and the man gave his condolences on the loss of the twins, indicating that he was also Sarah’s physician. Ian thanked him and Prescott turned back to Lucky. “She’s a very fortunate little girl you have there, my lord. Very fortunate, indeed.”

“Excuse me while I find Mrs. Steen. I’ll be right back.” Lucky left the room, carrying Maura.

“Doctor, may I have a word with you regarding my wife?” Ian wished he had more than just these few minutes. He was afraid with all of the questions he had that he’d never have the time to get them all answered. So he decided to ask the one that concerned him most.

“Certainly,” the man said. “What would you like to know?”

“How is she? Really? Aside from her memory loss, is there anything…
physically
wrong with Sarah?”

The physician sighed and took a seat in the chair next to the one Ian took across from the fireplace in the cavernous, book-filled library. “Your wife is doing far better than we expected at the time. I’m sure you were told the premature delivery was extremely difficult for her and we nearly lost her as well.” Ian closed his eyes, thankful to still have Sarah, and nodded. The man continued. “There is nothing physically wrong with her that I can tell. We do not know if her memory loss is permanent or a temporary lapse. I’ve seen situations such as this where the person would recover the memory of the time lost and all is well. And I’ve seen cases where the memory was lost forever. Usually though, it falls somewhere in between.”

“Will trying to trigger memories bring ill effects?” He had to know if he was making a mistake in trying to force the memories. He would rather have a wife with no memories of that time than one who might not handle the onslaught of emotions well. The thought of Sarah losing her mind completely terrified him, and if it were preventable, he’d never forgive himself.

“I doubt it. In fact, I feel safe saying it would do no harm. My advice would be to not try to rush the memories or bring too many on at one time. Go slowly and do not overwhelm her mind, as she may suffer a setback.”

That’s what he feared and said as much to the physician. The man reiterated taking things slowly. Ian agreed as his practical advice made sense to him. “I have one other question, though I don’t know where to begin.”

“Physical relations?” Dr. Prescott asked, seeming to know his mind. “There is nothing wrong with Lady Sarah to prevent you from being intimate. But you must know that she may or may not conceive again. We don’t know. I want to believe that she miscarried because the babes were entirely too large for her petite frame. And there were two of them. Twins often come too early. If that is the case, she may deliver a babe in the future.

“Too, she may be the type of woman who miscarries each and every time she conceives. We do not know yet.”

Ian was quiet as he digested the news. So forcing the memories might—or might not—pose a risk to Sarah’s emotional state. And Sarah conceiving again might—or might not—pose a risk to her health again. Only he could decide if the risks were worth taking. “I thank you for your candor.”

“Mr. Ross-Mackeever, I have known this family since His Grace was in knee pants. I’ve seen tragedy and triumph within the very walls of this home. And it never fails to amaze me the love and care they each have for one another.” Prescott stood and lifted his bag as though to leave. “You have married into a unique family—one that is unlike other noble families.”