Lulu's Loves (36 page)

“Whatever you need,” he replied.

“Thank you, Claire,” I said dismissing her. “I need to go see my dad.”

As she walked away, Thom wrapped his arms around me.

“I need your phone a minute.” He handed it to me and I found the map app. I typed in an address. “I have to call Welkie, but I need you to please go get her. I’ll call Grandma Pritford.” I went to the notes app and typed in where he could find the legal documents I’d need to give the hospital.

“Lulu,” he said, and pulled me close. “I love you.”

“I know, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re here with me,” I said and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Thom Miller.”

He left, but before I went into Dad’s room, I made the two most dreadful phone calls of my life.

When I entered his room, I sat beside him rubbing his hand, hoping that he felt every touch as love. He was still and unresponsive, like he was asleep. I put my head on the bed beside his hand and prayed. I stayed there, just like that, until the nurse said I had to go for a while.

It was after two when I went in his room again. It was dark and cold. I wondered if it had to be that way. I sat beside him and squeezed his hand to let him know I was there. I felt him move a finger.

Hope,
I thought and closed my eyes tightly to say a quick prayer.

I felt the finger touch my ring finger, like he was trying to make the circle around my finger. I looked at him and his eyes opened, he glanced toward the door.

“What is it?” Again I felt his finger trying to circle around mine. His eyes kept looking toward the door. “Thom? He’s not out there right now. He went to take care of some things for me. When he comes back, I’ll let him come in to see you.”

Once more his finger moved on mine. I didn’t know what he was trying to tell me. Finally, he dozed off. I sat in the quiet for a while, and then it hit me. I squeezed his hand and he opened his eyes.

“You want me to marry Thom?” He blinked his eyes and I started to cry. I put my head on the bed beside him. When I looked up, I saw Thom standing at the window to his room. I’d been in there with my dad for over an hour, and no one had come in to make me leave.

“I’ll be back,” I whispered as I kissed his cheek.

I went to the door where Thom was looking in. I saw Welkie and Grandma Pritford. I went to them and hugged them, squeezing them with the love I hoped they’d feel.

“He’s resting comfortably. I need to talk to Thom a moment, and then he’ll go in to see Dad.”

I took his hand and led him to the other side of the room.

“I gave the papers to the social worker and she’s making copies. She indicated that someone from hospice would be here around five,” he told me.

“Thank you for doing all of that. I need to talk to you about something important. I have something to ask you.”

“Anything, Lulu,” he replied.

“Thom Miller, with all my heart, I mean this.”

He just stood there looking at me, his eyes full of question.

“Will you marry me? We’ll go as soon as the courthouse is open and get what we need done. As soon as we can both be in the room with my dad together, we’ll get married.” Tears streamed down my cheeks. “It’s his wish. But most important, it’s mine too.”

“Yes, Lulu. Yes.” He was crying.

“I can’t get married without him, so we have to make this happen as soon as possible.”

He kissed me and went in to see my dad. I watched as he kissed my dad’s cheek. I saw him squeeze Dad’s hand and lean, as though he was whispering to him. And I lost it.

I sat with my grandmothers, crying, as we talked about the things my dad told me he wanted when his time came. It saddened me greatly to think about him passing, but I was prepared. I knew this wasn’t a good situation.

When Thom came out of the room, he came to me. He was crying, too. He turned to my grandmothers.

“Lulu and I are getting married as soon as we can get it all together. She asked me,” he said with a smile.

Welkie went in to see Dad and half an hour later, Grandma Pritford went in. At five, we met with the hospice representative. I placed my dad in their care and prayed that he’d be comfortable and peaceful, and that he’d hang on until Thom and I could get everything settled to be married.

Later, Thom left to take Welkie home. When Grandma Pritford left, I was alone. There was no one in the waiting room but me. I sat down to wait, until I could go in to see my dad again. The TV was softly playing in the background and I realized that it was past seven in the evening on Christmas Day. I thought about the last twenty-four hours.

Things happen quickly, unexpectedly. Twenty-four hours ago we were getting ready to celebrate Christmas. How things can change in the blink of an eye.

I’m not ready to lose him, but it seems like it’s bad. I know that hospice isn’t a death sentence, but it feels that way. He’s still young, only sixty-five. It’s just been the two of us for so many years. I feel so blessed and grateful for that time; the ability to get to know my dad as a man, not just a father.

Thom loves him. Dad loves Thom. We made it past the hurdles and pain that broke us before.

And now–I will be his wife.

I woke when I heard someone come in the room. I turned to find Thom looking down at me.

“Hey, what time is it?” I asked, as I wiped sleep from my eyes.

“Almost eleven,” he replied with a smile. “When I came back from taking Welkie home, you were out like a light.” He scooted close and I turned into his waiting arms.

“I should go see him.”

“I was just in there a little bit ago. He’s resting,” Thom said and kissed my forehead. “Can you just sit here with me for a few minutes?”

“Of course,” I said, and he pulled me closer.

“When I went to your house to get the documents you asked for, I found the key to your dad’s place and went to clean up the kitchen.”

“You’re awful sweet.”

“I had motive.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a box. “He told me a while back where it was in case anything happened to him, but he wanted us to have this. When I was in there with him I told him that we were ready and he blinked.”

He opened the box. “It was your mother’s. Louisa Nicole Welk, I can only pray for a love like your dad told me about with your mother. I will work every day to be everything you need in a man, a partner, and friend.”

He took the ring and slipped it on my finger. “It’s official now. Go see your dad.”

“Wait,” I said. I leaned closer to him for a kiss. “That was beautiful. I will work hard to be everything to you. I will be your lover, your partner, and your friend. I love you, Thom Miller.”

When I went to see Dad, he appeared to be asleep. I sat in the chair beside him and waited. A moment passed and he opened his eyes. I reached for his hand. His finger found the ring and he blinked.

“Thom left earlier and went to pick up some things I needed. He came back with this. Thank you, Daddy. I love you. Are you in pain?” I asked him. “Blink once for yes, twice for no.”

He blinked twice. I knew he was heavily medicated. My biggest hope was that he wasn’t in pain. It was quiet and he dozed off again.

I went to the waiting room, but Thom wasn’t there. Keelin came in the room just as I sat down.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t get here before now. We were in the mountains.” Aaron came around the corner and sat on the other side of me.

“We’re all just hanging on.” I said with a sigh. “I’m tired.”

“What’s this?” Keelin asked taking my hand in his.

“My engagement ring. It was my mother’s.” I felt happy telling him. “Thom and Dad talked a while back, and Dad told him where it was if he couldn’t get it for him. We’re getting married.”

“When?” Keelin asked with the biggest smile.

“As soon as the courthouse is open so we can get the license. We’ll be getting married in Dad’s room. You’ll have to watch from the window.”

The nurse rounded the corner. “You need to come.”

“Find Thom. He’s here somewhere,” I said, trying to remain calm.

“His blood pressure dropped very low. It could be nothing, but I know you want to be there,” she said.

We walked to the window. There were two nurses and a man, who I guessed was a doctor working on him. I held my breath and said a prayer. Thom and Keelin came back around the corner. We stood there for a few minutes. Finally, the doctor in the room nodded for us to enter.

“We were able to get it back up,” he said as we entered. “It’s all right.”

Later, I sent Thom home. Keelin stayed with me for a while. I got some rest, but I never really slept. At eight the next morning, Thom called me.

“I’m at the courthouse. I explained the situation and they’ve told me what we need to do. I need you to tell me the date of your divorce from Robbie. They’ll let me fill everything out, and one of the gals offered to come on her lunch break to finalize the paperwork. She also volunteered to perform the ceremony. Does December 26
th
sound like a good day for a wedding?”

“Yes!” I said happily.

“I called Rachael to come to the house and pick out something for you to wear. I’m running by the apartment and getting dressed. The nurse at the desk in the CICU area will show you where you can get a shower and get dressed.”

Rachael showed up at ten and helped me get dressed. Keelin had run to the gift shop and came back with a plastic flower bouquet. The only things missing were wedding rings.

When I was dressed, I went to my dad’s room. They were going to allow Thom and I, and the gal from the courthouse, in the room with him. The two nurses on duty would be our witnesses. Aaron ran by to pick up Welkie. Grandma Pritford was already there. The nurses pushed the curtains to the room as far back as they would go. They then turned on two night-lights in the room.

Finally, Thom returned. He hugged me, and whispered in my ear. “You look beautiful. I bought the nurses sodas and took the cap rings. Yours is white and they wrapped it with medical tape to make it smaller. Mine is red.” His smile brought tears to my eyes.

We stood beside my dad’s bed, and I held his hand until Thom took it in his to start the ceremony.

“Lulu, this is Erin Michele,” Thom said, introducing her.

I hugged her. “Thank you for your kindness.”

“I hope you like the ceremony. It’s one of my favorites,” Erin told me. “Ready?”

Thom and I both nodded. I looked and the nurses were wiping tears from their eyes. I looked at the window to his room, crowded with Rachael, Keelin, Aaron, Grandma Pritford, and Welkie: my family. I noticed that every aide and nurse on the floor was close by to observe as well. I felt great peace.

“On this special day, we gather here for Thom Asher Miller, Jr. and Louisa Nicole Welk to join together as husband and wife.”

“Asher?” I asked, interrupting Erin with a smile.

“It was my dad’s mother’s name,” he smiled.

Erin continued with a grin that showed deep dimples. “Love is the reason we’re here; a daughter’s love for her father, and the love for the man she will marry, a man’s love for his father-in-law and the woman he loves.”

“In the years ahead of you, you will weather high tides and low ones, always remember that your love will bring you through any storm to calmer seas. Look in each other’s eyes and see the reflection of the love that you share.”

Looking in Thom’s eyes, I feel like everything in the world will be all right. I think about the tides and the storms that brought us to this place. I think about the love that will move us through whatever life hands us.

“You made the decision to do this, in this way, because of this man.” She looked to acknowledge my dad. I reached for his hand and squeezed it.

“I love you, Daddy.” He blinked in reply.

“Thom, marriage is a precious gift. It’s a lifelong commitment. It’s a challenge for you to love one another more each day. With this understanding, do you take Louisa as your wife? To love her more each day? Do you promise to support her through every situation life hands you, good or bad?”

“I do.” The look on his face: the smile, the love. I started to cry. He squeezed my hand.

The nurse, Pia, was taking pictures with her phone.

“Louisa, knowing Thom’s commitment to you, do you promise the same?”

“I promise to love him more every day. Yes, I do.”

“May I have the rings please?” Thom handed her the soda cap rings and everyone laughed.

“These rings, and those that will replace them, symbolize the promise you’ve made to love each other. A circle has no end, as should your love. You may slip the rings on each other’s fingers as your commitment to love.”

“My love for you will never end. We’ve already weathered a storm or two, but the tides brought us back to each other. You are my love forever. I love you,” I said to Thom.

“Oh, Lulu the days apart will be replaced with days filled with love for each other. I look forward to every day that will be our forever,” he added.