Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (56 page)

She handed the bag te me ma, who said, ‘Thank you very much, Sister. I won't forget you in a hurry fer bein so good te us.'

‘Listen!' Sister said. ‘I have some soup left over, will I heat it up and bring you each a mug? It's gettin very cold now, and it will warm you up.'

‘Oh, yes, Sister, the childre would love tha. God bless you, an I'll pray fer you.'

I lunged fer the bag of cakes, an everyone was screamin fer more. Me ma slapped me hand away an said, ‘Wait! We can have them fer yer tea.'

‘Just a look, Ma!'

‘No, I'm puttin them away.'

She lifted up Harry an told me te hold him while she lifted the pillacase filled wit the good food, an put it at the back of the pram, an Harry's pilla on top. Then she put Harry back in, lyin on the pillas. ‘Tha pram is lovely an deep. Ye can't beat the really old ones. They don't make them tha deep any more,' me ma said, all happy in herself. We all sat on the step, lookin an smilin at each other, waitin fer the soup, wonderin what it was goin te be like.

The door opened, an the nun lifted a big tray wit gorgeous steamin soup in big white mugs, an plates of thick loaf bread, lathered wit good butter, an lumps of cheese sittin on top. ‘Have you a bottle for the baby?' she asked Ma.

‘I have, Sister.' An me ma whipped out the babby's bottle wit the teat on, an the sister rushed in again an came out wit hot milk in it, an she'd added a drop of soup.

‘Now, my beauties, that should keep you going.' An she straightened up an said te me ma, ‘I'd better hurry, the bell has gone for prayers, and I don't want to be late down to Chapel.'

‘God bless ye, Sister,' me ma bowed te her. An the sister waved at us an rushed through the door, an was gone.

‘My God! There's not many like her,' me ma said, shakin her head. ‘More's the pity. We'd all be a lot happier if only there was.' We licked the mugs an ran our hands inside them te make sure we had got every last taste outa it. An then we fixed them on the tray an pushed off down the avenue. Our bellies full, an our mouths hot wit the taste still stickin at the back of our throats.

‘Ah, tha was lovely,' I said, smackin me lips an lookin at Charlie smilin at everyone.

We were all happy, an we didn't feel tired any more. We passed the butcher, an I said, ‘Ma, will I go in an see if he has somethin fer us?'

‘No,' me ma said. ‘Leave him fer another day when we have nothin. Then we'll be glad of anythin.'

I skipped along, holdin on te the handlebars. ‘Oh, Ma, this is great! Why can't it be always like this?'

‘Yeah, if only,' me ma said. ‘But I'd need te get me own place away from him. An as he has put the place in his name, the Corporation won't have anythin te do wit me unless he gives up the key te this place. An tha aul fella won't do tha. So I'm stuck wit him.'

‘How long did he get in Mountjoy, Ma?' I asked, feelin sick, cos I never wanted te think about him ever again.

‘Six months!' me ma said stone-faced, starin ahead. ‘Rob a bank an ye get more! Batterin women an childre te death an ye walk away. He won't be in there fer long. They'll let him out fer good behaviour. A coward like him won't put a foot wrong, cos he's faced wit men.'

I stopped te look at gnomes in a garden. I didn't want te think of Jackser any more.

A dog was dozin on the doorstep an jumped up an started barkin at me. Ragin, it is, cos it can't get through the shut gate an bite the leg offa me. ‘Arrah!' I barked back, pretendin I was climbin the wall. It somersaulted up the wall te get at me an crashed down again, landin on its neck, an crept off decidin it had had enough, but not takin its eyes offa me. I laughed an roared, ‘Ye're too big fer yer paws, serves ye right!' an ran on te catch up wit me ma.

We went up te High Park convent an got the two stale loaves of bread from Hairy. An on the way down the avenue, I stopped at the grotto te get a look down at the holy water. Ye can't reach it, cos the water's too deep down. I said a little prayer te Our Lady, te thank her fer the lovely soup an food we got, an fer givin us all the lovely peace without Jackser. ‘An will ye make sure he never comes back, Mother of God,' I whispered. I thought fer a minute ... ‘If he doesn't get himself kilt in there, then maybe if he could get an awful bang on the head an forget who he is, then he wouldn't come lookin fer us.' I blessed meself, feelin satisfied, an chased after me ma.

We went down the hill, an onta Griffith Avenue. Me ma hesimitated an then said, ‘Let's do a few of these houses. We might be lucky an get a few old clothes. They do have lovely stuff here, they're very well off.'

‘Right, Ma!' I was hoppin up an down delighted. Ye never know wha we'll get.

‘It's after four o'clock now, so we have enough time before it gets dark,' me ma said.

We walked along the big wide footpath, wit the trees whisperin in the dark. It was an awful long road. Doors were banged in our faces, an some people looked afraid of us an screamed, ‘Go away! I've nothin to give you!' an rushed in, boltin the door. Some people held their noses in the air an sniffed, an looked at us as if we were lepers. One aul one roared, ‘We give charity to the blind! I'm sure there's a charity to help your kind! Now please kindly shut the gate on your way out!'

Me ma was ragin at the insult an shouted back, ‘I'm sorry we're not blind te suit you! Keep yer charity, the cheek a ye!' an grabbed the pram an pushed it down the path. Then she stopped on the way outa the gate an looked back at the aul one, still standin in her porch, watchin us. ‘There's no pockets in a shroud, ye know. Ye can't take it wit ye! An you've already got one foot in the grave, ye aul hag. I hope ye die roarin! Come on, Martha, let's get outa here. Them people make me sick. They wouldn't give ye the steam offa their piss!'

I rushed back an opened the gate wider. She was still standin there wit her mouth gapin open an her eyes on stalks. ‘Oh! Well, really!' she said, outa breath. I made a face at her an rushed after me ma.

‘Come on, I'm not ready te give up yet,' me ma said. ‘They're not all like tha, just the ones who have too much an won't part wit it – tha's how they have it. Tha aul one thinks she owes herself money.'

We pushed on an then stopped at a big house in its own grounds. It had a high wall aroun it an big black gates tha were open. Me ma looked an then said, ‘Come on, we'll go in here.'

I followed her through the gates an looked at all the trees an bushes on each side of the drive. There was a lamp post wit a light shinin te show ye the way, so ye wouldn't break yer neck in the dark. When we got aroun te the front of the house, it was all lit up, wit big windas nearly down te the ground an a lovely big entrance in the middle. The two big doors were open. There were two more lovely doors wit church glass, an more church glass in the frames on each side of the doors inside the big porch. An there was a big black iron stand holdin black umbrellas wit silver handles. An outside there was an iron thing fer cleanin yer shoes, me ma said. The gravel aroun the door made a crunchin noise, an it hurt me feet. Me ma looked fer the bell.

‘There it is, Ma! In the wall.' I made fer it an pulled the iron knob outa the wall, an it gave a lovely chime. It sounded like the big clock in London, Big Ben! When it stopped, I wanted te pull it again. It was lovely.

‘Don't touch tha again!' me ma warned. ‘Ye'll only annoy them!' The door was flung open, an a fillum star looked at us. She was wearin a big fur coat an a long black frock, wit gold satin shoes an long danglin diamond earrings. An she had lovely blondie, goldie hair curlin up at the end an hangin down te her shoulders. An bright-red lips an lovely white creamy cheeks. The smell of perfume! I held me breath an gaped.

‘Yes?' she asked, slowly suckin on a long silver cigarette holder an takin the smoke deep inta her lungs before she held the cigarette holder in her two fingers up in the air away from her. An closin one eye, cos she was covered in smoke.

Me ma lost her voice. ‘Eh,' cough, smile, ‘Eh, Lady! I wonder if ye have any old clothes ye don't want? Anythin at all!'

‘What do you mean? Clothes for what?' the lady asked, lookin confused.

‘Eh, well!' Me ma tried te think. ‘Maybe somethin fer te fit the childre.'

‘The what?' the lady asked, lookin even more confused.

‘The babbies! Her!' me ma said as she pointed at me. ‘Maybe ye might have an old pair a shoes tha'd fit her.'

The lady leaned out, lookin from one te the next. ‘Gracious!' she muttered, an jumped back in.

‘Is that the car, Henrietta?' An we stopped gapin at her te look past at where the man's voice was comin from. ‘Bother! We shall be late for the opera if we don't get a move on!' There was a man in a black waistcoat an a jacket wit tails hangin from the back. An black patent shoes, an a snow-white shirt wit a collar tha stood up an looks as if it would stab ye, it was so pointy. An gold cufflinks. An he had a tumbler of whiskey in one hand an a fat cigar in the other. An a fat belly an a bald head, an he spoke like Herbert Lom in the fillums.

I took a sharp breath inta me lungs. I've never seen the like a this before. I moved closer an looked in. There was a great big hall wit doors on each side an a big wide mahogany staircase in the middle leadin up te a big landin wit more doors, an a long winda wit church glass from the ceilin te the floor. The blast of heat when I leaned in would suffocate ye. It was lovely.

The man stopped in his tracks. ‘Who is it, darling?'

‘Oh! It's only a beggar woman with some urchins,' she called over her shoulder, slowly lookin from us back te the man. Me ma went inta shock at this but stopped herself from lettin fly when the woman said, ‘I've no idea, really, what she's about! But do give her something, Cecil. It will send her on her way!' Then she floated in, danglin her long cigarette, holdin it in the air an spillin ash on the lovely rug.

I was drinkin everythin in, me mouth hangin wide an me eyes shinin. I sobbed in a big breath, cos I was forgettin te breathe. I followed her every move aroun the corner, an she disappeared inta a room. Me eyes were foggy from not blinkin, an I had te close them shut an open them again te look at the man, who was very annoyed at us disturbin his peace. He dug his hands inta his trouser pockets an came up empty.

A boy of about ten years appeared on the landin. He was wearin a long wool dressin gown wit pyjamas an slippers, an a teddy bear in his arms. His lovely shiny brown hair was combed te the side, an it was cut above his ears, an he had a flick of hair hangin over his eye. He had lovely fat cheeks. I stared at him. ‘Daddy!' he screamed. ‘I want Mummy this instant!'

‘Oh, bother!' Daddy said, lookin fer money te give us.

‘Mummy!' the boy screamed, an Mummy floated out te the hall.

‘What is it, darling? You must speak to Nelly!'

‘I will not drink that horrid milk and that foul-tasting ginger stuff she puts into it.'

‘Oh, darling! Be a sweetie for Nelly, and Mummy will come up and kiss you nightie night.' Then she blew kisses up te him.

‘No, Mummy! No!' an he started te wring the teddy's neck.

‘This is an outrage!' Daddy barked. ‘The whole house is in uproar.'

Nelly appeared in a black frock wit a belt an a white lace collar, an her grey hair tied in a bun in the back of her head, an tried te wrestle the boy back te bed. The man whipped out his wallet an handed me ma a big green pound note an slammed the door shut!

Me ma kept lookin at the pound note te see if it was real! She started laughin an took hold of the pram an said, ‘Come on, Martha, let's get home. We'll get in outa the cold,' an she started te run. I gave a last look back an wondered how tha boy could be so lucky te have all tha. How do ye get te be like them?

I clamped me gapin mouth shut an gave a little heave of me chest, lettin out me wind, an then shot me head aroun te run after me ma. An a big black car wit a silver ornament sittin up on the front of the bonnet whirred aroun the corner an came te a stop in front of the house. I looked in, an there was a woman in a big fur coat wit a glitterin diamond crown sittin on her head, an a man in a black dickie bow an a lovely black coat wit black velvet on the collar stared out at me. Then he opened the car door an tried te heave himself out. ‘Good gracious!' he said te his wife. ‘What's that?' An the two of them looked at me!

The front door opened, an the man who gave me ma the quid held his arms wide an smiled. ‘Wonderful to see you, Charles!' an I closed me mouth again, rememberin me ma, an rushed off te catch up wit her, thinkin tha must be a duchess or somethin wit the crown on her head! An the way tha man did as his wife told him, even though he didn't want te give me ma anythin, tha's outa this world, it is! When I grow up, I'm goin te get meself a man just like tha. No Jacksers fer me!

We got home in the pitch black, freezin wit the cold, an me ma said, ‘I won't bother lightin the fire, let's just get te bed. Everyone is worn out, an tomorrow we'll have a lovely big dinner.'

‘Yeah, Ma, I'm too tired!'

I woke up te see the fire lightin, an me ma said, ‘Here, have this drop a tea, an there's a chunk a lovely bread an good butter. An when ye're finished, then go aroun te the shop an get me a pint a milk an six eggs.'

‘Right, Ma!' I swallied down the bread an good butter in six bites. It was too good te bother an make it last. I was starvin. ‘Any more, Ma?'

‘No! We're not eatin the lot now. I want te make it stretch, an ye'll be gettin a big dinner later. Here! Run te the shop,' an she gave me me two shillins.

‘Can I buy meself a
Bunty
comic, Ma?'

‘No! Bring me back the change.'

‘Ah, Ma! Just two pence!'

‘All right, then, but no more!'

‘Ah, thanks, Ma!'