Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (54 page)

‘Here, chicken! Drink this, it will do ye good. An eat the egg an the bit a bread an butter. It's not much, but it will bring yer strength back. Where's the babby's bottle? I want te give him a hot sup of tea.' An I looked over at Harry, sittin on one of the women's laps at the fire. He was very pale but was content te sit an let the woman rock him. Teddy was bein fed an egg by the girl an was eatin it an holdin a bit of bread in his hand. An Charlie was sittin on the floor in front of the fire, eatin bread an spoonin egg inta his mouth. I gave a big sob an started te drink me tea an eat me egg. People were tired an talkin in whispers. The room was warm an peaceful, an I couldn't hear any more noise from our room, just the sound of people busy comin an goin, fixin somethin te block the winda. An there was no more shoutin.

The old man came in an smiled at us an shook his head te the women, puttin his eyes te heaven. An he looked very white an tired. ‘Are ye's all right now?' he said in a very quiet voice, lookin at us. ‘Ah, it's all over now. Ye's will be all right, thank God.' Then he went inta the scullery an was whisperin te the women. They made him sit down an have a drop of hot tea. An one of the women went off te her own place an said she wouldn't be long. Then an ambulance arrived an stopped outside the door. I jumped up, wantin te see wha was happenin.

‘No, no! You sit there, chicken, don't move. They're only goin te take yer mammy inta hospital fer a little while. She'll be all right.'

I sat down, afraid te upset anyone, but I wanted te see me mammy, te see if she was all right. An wha was happenin te Jackser? Are they goin te take him away an lock him up? Oh, please God, get him locked up. But I was afraid te say anythin. So I didn't move an just sat quiet, an tried te stop me heart from racin. I was so afraid of everythin, not knowin wha was goin te happen te us. I was afraid te die, an I was afraid te live.

I looked at me brothers. Harry was lyin on the woman's chest, holdin on te her, his hand restin on her chest. An she was holdin the bottle of tea in his mouth an croonin te him very softly. He was lookin up at her, lettin the bottle rest in his mouth. Then he gave a big sigh an went back te suckin his bottle an nestled his head inta her chest, gettin a tighter grip of her wit his other hand. The woman smiled over at me an said, ‘He's a lovely child, God bless him.' An then she said, ‘I think I'll take him up wit me fer the night. He can sleep in wit me. He seems te have settled now.'

Teddy was dozin on the bed, an the girl was lyin beside him wit his head on her stomach, an she was gently strokin his hair. The blood had clotted on the back of his neck, an the bleedin was stopped. The girl lifted the cloth an whispered, ‘Mammy, the gash is very deep. It probably needs stitches.'

‘Leave the poor mite where he is. Put him under the covers. An you, chicken,' she said te me, ‘get in beside him, ye're all done in. Wha ye need now, the lot of ye, is a good night's sleep.'

The other woman came back from her place an brought a loaf of bread an cheese an corn beef. ‘Ah, ye shouldn't have!' ‘Not at all!' the women said te each other, ‘There's plenty more where tha came from!' I climbed inta bed beside Teddy, an Charlie got in beside the wall, wit Teddy in the middle between the two of us.

‘I'll take your little fella up wit me fer the night, an he can sleep wit my childre,' the woman who just came in wit the food said.

‘Tha's very good of ye. Tha way then, I'll sleep next te Ellie, me daughter, an Maggie here is takin the babby up wit her.'

‘Ah, tha's grand. We're all sorted out now. An I'll make us all a nice sup of tea. Jaysus, we could do wit it after the night we've had!' An they all laughed wit relief.

‘How are things now?' an she lifted her head te our room. The man an the women whispered te each other, an I turned away, puttin me arm aroun Teddy. An he moved inta me, holdin onta me. The pain was easin in me, an the quiet whispers an the heat from the fire was soothin me. The light was off in the room, gettin light only from the scullery an the blazin fire. I started te doze, an then I felt meself sinkin inta a deep sleep.

A noise woke me up, an me eyes shot open. I tried te lift me head, but it was too heavy. An the pain shot aroun me head, an I was in pain everywhere. The woman from upstairs, Maggie, came in wit Harry an she looked down at me. Me eyes were too swollen, an I could see only through slits. ‘Oh! God Almighty, ye're in an awful state, ye poor cratur!'

‘Lie there, don't move yerself,' me neighbour said. ‘Have ye a pram fer the babby?' she asked me quietly.

‘No, it's gone,' I said. Not sayin Jackser had sold it fer ten bob down in Capel Street an drank the money.

‘Never mind, I'll manage,' she said.

It was mornin, an the fire was lightin. Teddy moved beside me, an Charlie sat up an rubbed his eyes. ‘I'll go off an see if I can get somethin te put the babby in. I don't mind takin him fer a few days,' Maggie said.

‘Yeah, an I can keep the childre here fer a while. We'll see wha happens. Ellie, give Charlie a sup of tea an help him te put his clothes on.'

‘OK, Ma.'

‘Good girl!'

Charlie scrambled outa the bed, an I turned over, hurtin everywhere, an started te doze again.

I woke up again, an it was evenin. The neighbour was bendin over me wit a cup of tea. ‘Come on, love, try an sit up an drink this, ye need it.' I closed me eyes, it hurt too much te keep them open. Even the movement hurt me head. ‘Come on, I'll help ye.' An she put her hand under me back an lifted me. Everythin started te swim, an me head was like a ton weight. The pain was terrible. She held the cup te me mouth, an I took two sips an started te gag.

‘No, no,' I said. ‘I can't!'

‘All right, then. Tha will do. We'll put ye lyin down again, an ye can get some rest, ye're too sick fer anythin.' I lay back down in the bed, an me head was on fire. I eased back inta sleep.

When I woke again, it was mornin. The watery sun was shinin inta the room. I slowly lifted me head an looked aroun the room, wonderin where I was fer a minute. Charlie an Teddy was sittin on the floor wit Ellie, an she was playin wit Teddy's toes an then ticklin Charlie, makin them roar laughin. ‘More, more!' Charlie was shoutin, an Teddy was squealin wit excitement.

An then it all came back te me. Me head an back felt like someone had bashed me wit a concrete block, an me face was very sore. But the pain was eased an awful lot, an I felt OK when I lay down an kept still. I was content te lie there very quietly an take in the room. It was heaven on earth. The fire was banked up an glowin red, an there was a red an blue china dog sittin on the mantelpiece, an a lovely big clock tha chimed every fifteen minutes an bonged every hour. I liked the sound of it tick tockin. An over tha, on the wall, was a big picture of two soldiers in uniforms holdin guns. An they had bags on their backs. The picture looked very old. There was a small armchair wit cushions beside the fire, an a round table wit a heavy cloth an tassles hangin from the bottom, coverin it. An a lovely lace cloth lay on top of tha. An it was sittin under the winda, which had lovely white net curtains an heavy red ones, wit big yella flowers, tha ye close at night te keep out the dark, an the wind, an anyone tha wants te look in. An there was oil cloth on the floor, an ye could see yer face in it from the shine.

I could hear the mammy bangin pots an singin te herself in the scullery. There was a lovely smell of somethin cookin, an I wondered if I could stay here fer the rest of me life. I'd never complain again.

‘Ah, ye're awake,' Mrs said te me, bendin down an smilin at me. I was a bit worried she might tell me te get up an go inta me own room an mind me brothers.

‘Yeah,' I croaked shyly, wonderin wha's goin te happen now. I lifted me head te sit up, an it hurt like mad. But I didn't want her te think she had te put up wit us. I don't like te make a fool of meself, an maybe she hasn't enough food te stretch fer everyone, cos she's on her own.

‘How're ye feelin?'

‘Eh! Not too bad.'

She looked at me. ‘Ah, yer poor face is very swollen, an ye must be very sore. Are ye?'

‘Yeah,' I said.

‘Right! Let's get ye sittin up an more comfortable, then we'll see about gettin ye a nice cup a tea. Wouldn't ye like tha?'

‘Yeah,' I said, lettin out a big sigh.

She lifted me up an fixed a long sausage pilla behind me, an another one on top of tha, an I sank meself back, restin against the headboard. Then she went off te the scullery, an I heard her rattlin the cups. Oh, if only this would last for ever an me ma could be like her!

‘Now, mind ye don't burn yerself wit tha tea. It's very hot.'

I tasted the tea, an the steam was hurtin me face, but it was lovely. Loads a milk, an it was very sweet. I supped away, an Mrs waited an then took the cup from me. ‘Ye's won't have te wait long fer yer dinner. It's nearly done.'

‘Oh, great, Ma! I'm starvin,' Ellie said, an she looked over at me. ‘We're havin coddle. Do ye like coddle?'

‘Yeah!' I said, not knowin wha coddle was. But it smelled lovely.

‘Yeah, we're very lucky,' the mammy said. ‘The St Vincent de Paul called last night. An when they saw me plight, wit the extra mouths te feed, they gave me an extra voucher fer ten bob an the bit of extra turf fer the fire. So now I'm well away! Ellie, run out an find Jimmy. Bring him in fer his dinner. He better not be gone far! I told him not te stray, I was doin a bit of dinner.'

‘OK, Ma!' an she was out the door.

I could hear bangin plates, an then the mammy came in wit two steamin plates of stew. ‘Now, babba,' she said te Teddy, who was standin himself up an sittin himself down an wavin his fists in the air wit excitement, an nearly suffocatin himself swallowin his spits. ‘Sit down an I'll feed ye this.'

Charlie was sittin on the floor an hammerin his heels up an down wit impatience. ‘Easy now. Easy, ye'll choke yerself,' she said te Charlie, who was coughin an splutterin, cos he shovelled too much in his mouth. Teddy screamed, cos she didn't put the spoon fast enough inta his mouth.

Ellie an Jimmy came rushin back inta the room an threw themselves at the table. Jimmy's face lit up. ‘Coddle, Ma! Where did ye manage te get the money?'

‘From the Vincents,' Ellie said.

‘Now!' the mammy said te Teddy. ‘Did ye enjoy tha?' an Teddy looked shocked at the empty plate an screamed fer more. ‘No more!' the mammy said, laughin. An Charlie looked te see wha would happen next wit the empty plate sittin beside him an hoped Teddy's screams might bring more.

‘All right! Take it easy. I'll bring ye somethin.' An she came back wit bread an soup poured over it. Teddy slapped his knees an roared, ‘Me! Me!' until she sat down an fed him an gave the other plate te Charlie.

When they were finished, they were still lookin after the empty plates, an she said, ‘Wait there, I have somethin nice fer ye's.' An she came back in an unwrapped two Sugar Barleys. ‘Now, tha should keep ye busy fer a while.' An the two of them sat there suckin away on the Sugar Barleys, watchin each other take big noisy sucks, stickin out their tongues an slurpin back in again.

Jimmy was playin wit them, sayin, ‘Give us a suck!' an they went mad an roared at him in case he robbed their Sugar Barleys.

‘Ah, don't be tormentin them!' the mammy shouted from the scullery. ‘Let them have their little bit of enjoyment.'

‘I'm not, Ma!' Jimmy shouted. ‘I'm only playin wit them.'

‘Well, go on out an play wit someone yer own age. Cos if I catch ye touchin them babbies' sweets, ye'll get the back of me hand on ye.'

Jimmy jumped up laughin an gave a last look at the sweets an flew out the door, bangin it shut behind him. Me head leapt wit the noise, an the mammy shouted, ‘Jaysus, Jimmy Dunne, one of these days I'll kill ye fer bangin tha door!

‘Now, chicken. Get tha down ye!' an she handed me a plate a stew, wit sausages an rashers an black an white puddin, an carrots an onions, all floatin aroun in soup, an lovely bits of potatoes. I never tasted anythin like this before, an it was gorgeous. I ate it very slowly, cos me face hurt, but, more importantly, te make it last as long as I could. When the plate was empty, I held on te it as long as I could, te run me fingers aroun the few drops of gravy left, an only handed back the plate when it was snow-white clean.

‘Now, I needn't ask, because ye certainly enjoyed tha. I was wonderin if ye was goin te eat the plate an all. Have a little sleep fer yerself. It'll do ye good,' an she pulled away the long sausage pilla, an I slid meself down under the warm blankets an felt meself dozin off inta a lovely sleep. Thanks, God, fer lookin after us. When I grow up, I'm goin te be just like Ellie's mammy an have a lovely an peaceful home an feed me childre lovely stews.

I woke up wit the sound of voices, an Maggie was in the room wit me little brother Harry. I sat up in the bed, an Maggie said, ‘Ah, look, Harry! Here's yer big sister,' an she plopped him down beside me on the bed. I laughed, delighted te see him, an he looked at me an wrapped his arms aroun me neck. I held on fer a minute an then took his hands, cos it hurt me, but I didn't care. I grabbed him an gave him a squeeze, an kissed his face, an looked at him. He looked lovely an clean, an his hair was washed. Then I squeezed him again, an he had enough an tried te push me away, but I wouldn't let go, an he grabbed a hold of me hair an pulled. I roared, cos it hurt me sore head, an he wouldn't let go, an he was squealin wit delight, cos he thought it was a game. Maggie ran over an grabbed his little hands, an picked his fingers one by one outa me hair. An all the time I was roarin.

‘No! No, babba!' Maggie was shoutin, an Harry gave a big squeal an a big yank before I got me head back. An I held me head, watchin as Maggie took Harry away, still squealin at me fer tormentin him wit me squeezes.