Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (73 page)

Another woman leaned herself down beside me, an the two of them leaned inta each other an started talkin. ‘Isn't this grand, Mrs!' said Chinny, restin herself on top a me.

‘Oh, it's lovely!' said the fat woman. ‘The blessins a God on the army! What would we do without them, I'll never know.'

‘Ah! They're grand all right!' coughed an old man sittin on the bench opposite, chokin on his Woodbine.

‘Hey, sonny! Where's this one takin us to?' another man roared down the lorry te the soldier. Everyone waited fer his answer.

‘O'Connell Street, outside the Metropole!'

‘Lovely! Tha suits me fine,' an everyone shook their heads in agreement, noddin te each other.

The lorry filled up, an the soldier slammed the back shut an jumped up beside the driver, an we took off, flyin inta town faster than the bus. I was lookin out through the back, an people were watchin us flyin past an wavin at us. The truck stopped, an the soldier helped everyone down. An I waited me turn an lifted me hands, an sure enough I got another spin, flyin through the air. An he landed me on me feet an patted the top of me head. An I laughed, feelin giddy from the excitement of it. Then I headed up Parnell Street an left up the hill, an slowed down before I hit the gates. I'm on time, an the lorries are pickin us up at five o'clock te take us out te Finglas. I can hang aroun till then, an Jackser will never know the difference. He'll think I've walked!

There was very few childre at the school when I came in the school yard. The nun was ringin the bell, an only the childre from the city centre was here. I'm the only one from Finglas who's come. They probably don't know about the army trucks yet. The nun twisted her mouth up inta a smile when she saw me. ‘You must have left home at dawn to get in to school on time?' she said, holdin her bell te stop it ringin.

‘Eh! Yes, Sister,' an she shook her head, thinkin about this. An started ringin her bell again, shakin it in the face of young ones stragglin behind me.

‘Come along! Hurry, you lazy idlers.'

I went down the corridor, headin fer me classroom, smilin te meself. She thinks I walked in this mornin. Grand, let them think I'm great. It feels lovely when people like me.

I was just headin in the gate from school when Jackser whipped the front door open. ‘Here, you! There's half a crown. Run up te tha van an get me five Woodbines. Hurry!' he barked.

I took the money an flew. When I came rushin back, I saw me ma standin outside the gate. An Jackser was standin outside the front door, screamin at her. ‘Go on, ye whore! Get movin. Ye're not comin back te my house!'

I came up te the gate, an Jackser roared at me, ‘Come on, you, get in here!'

Charlie an Teddy was standin behind him, screamin, ‘Mammy, Mammy! Don't leave us.'

Me ma roared at me, ‘Don't go in there, Martha! He'll kill ye!'

‘Get in here, ye bastard!' Jackser roared at me.

Harry came runnin out, screamin, an Jackser jerked him back by the neck of his jumper an landed him in the hallway. I hesimitated, not knowin wha te do. ‘Come on! Come wit me,' me ma screamed at me, runnin down the road.

I threw the packet a five Woodbines in the gate an took off, runnin after me ma. When we got aroun the corner, we saw Charlie runnin behind us. I stopped, an me ma stopped. ‘Ye're te come back,' he said te me ma.

‘No!' me ma said. ‘I'm not goin back there. Tell him tha.'

‘No, Ma!' Charlie said. ‘Take me wit ye!'

I looked at him, his little face was white an he was shakin. ‘We'll take him, Ma.'

‘No! He has te stay an watch the childre,' an she turned her back an ran.

I hesimitated, lookin at Charlie an watchin me ma rushin off up the road, not knowin wha te do. ‘Go back, Charlie!' I said, an turned te run after me ma. I looked back, hearin Charlie scream, wringin his hands. Then he turned an ran back te Jackser. He's only six, he'll have te do everythin! Jackser will kill him, cos he doesn't want another man's bastard. He hates poor Charlie as much as he hates me.

‘Hurry!' me ma puffed. ‘He'll come after us.' We rounded the corner at the church an hid in the shop, waitin fer the bus an keepin a look out fer Jackser.

‘Here it is, Ma!' I said, finally seein the bus headin down towards us. We galloped across the road an jumped on.

‘Gimme tha change,' me ma said. I handed me ma the one shillin an tenpence change from the Woodbines, an she paid the fare. ‘Tha bastard took all the money from me an headed off inta town wit it this mornin. He was only back just before you arrived. Well! He's not livin off me any more. Tha's the last of me he's goin te see!'

I said nothin. I was tryin te make sense of wha's happenin. ‘But what about the childre, Ma?'

‘Let him take care of them! I've wasted enough of me life,' me ma said, tightenin her lips an lookin away from me.

We arrived at Parnell Street an got off the bus an walked down Moore Street, just wanderin. ‘It's an awful pity he got his hands on the money,' me ma muttered te herself. ‘I'm goin te have te hang on te the shillin I've left.' I saw her look longinly at the café we passed. An the smell a chips turned me mouth te water. I'd love te go in there an sit down an have a cup a tea. But we just moved on, wanderin aimlessly. ‘I wonder where we can stay fer the night,' she said, lookin at me, thinkin an chewin on her lip. ‘It's beginnin te get dark, an we can't stay on the streets.'

‘Let's go down te the buildins. There's a very nice woman I know. She's one of me customers. Maybe she'll let us stay the night.'

When we got te the buildins, it was dark an I knocked on the door. ‘Mrs!' I said when she squinted out at me, wonderin who was knockin on her door this hour of the night. ‘I wonder if ye wouldn't mind lettin me an me ma sleep on yer floor fer the night? We've nowhere te go, an me ma had te run fer her life when Jackser threw us out.'

‘I'm sorry, love. I'd love te help ye's, but I've no room! Isn't there anyone else ye can ask? I've a houseful of childre.' An she opened the door wider, an we looked inta the dark room an saw childre sleepin on a pull-down bed in the corner.

‘Ah! I'm sorry te bother ye,' I said in a whisper. ‘We'll be all right. We'll find somewhere,' an I went te move off.

‘Wait!' she said. ‘Is tha all ye're wearin?'

I looked at me thin frock an cardigan. ‘Yeah,' I said.

‘You'll freeze in tha,' she said, rushin inta the room an comin out wit an old overcoat. ‘Put tha aroun ye. It's not much, but it'll help te keep the cold out.'

I took the coat, sayin, ‘Thanks very much, Mrs, an I'm sorry again fer givin ye any bother.'

‘No! No! Not at all. I'm sorry I have te turn ye away,' an she put her arms out, showin me the room full a people. She closed the door, an I put the heavy old coat, miles too big fer me, aroun me shoulders, an followed me ma up the cold stone steps. We sat down on a step on the landin, an me ma pressed in against the wall. An I pushed in beside her, sittin on the hem of her coat, wrappin the big coat over the two of us. We sat without movin, listenin te the quiet. I stared at the dark, wonderin wha was goin te happen. I looked at me ma, lost in herself, the wind gone outa her now when it hit her we had nowhere te go. I could feel a coldness creepin over me chest. Maybe she's thinkin of goin back te Jackser! Tha can't happen now. He'll kill her an blame me fer puttin ideas inta her head. An he won't show me any mercy. An wha will happen te the childre? Ah, Jesus help us! This is an awful mess. An we don't even have any money. If I go an rob any butter tomorrow, I could get caught. Then me ma would be left stranded, an she'd have te tell Jackser. No! Forget tha. But wha then? I'm afraid te ask me ma, in case she's changed her mind an thinkin of runnin back te him. ‘Ma,' I croaked. ‘Eh, wha's goin te happen now?'

‘I don't know, there's no one te take us in. Where can we go?'

I said nothin, thinkin.

We'd fallen asleep. An I woke wit me ma shakin me. ‘It's beginnin te get bright, Martha. It must be nearly mornin.'

I sat up, rubbin me neck an feelin stiff as a poker. ‘Jaysus, Ma. I'm freezin!'

‘Yeah! This is a terrible carry on. I hope tha bandy aul bastard dies roarin!' me ma snorted.

‘Yeah! But, Ma, we're away from him! An I know wha te do. Don't worry yerself. I'll come up wit somethin.'

Me ma looked at me, chewin her lip. ‘Yeah! But, Martha, we've no money. We need te get our hands on a few pound. Then we could go te England! He'd never find us there.'

I felt me heart leapin. ‘Right, Ma. I've made up me mind. Follow me!'

Me ma laughed. ‘Where are we goin?'

‘Let's just see, Ma. But first we need te spot a milkman.'

‘A milkman!' me ma laughed.

‘Yeah! Wait an see, hurry!'

I left the coat on the stairs, an we made our way down, watchin our step, cos it was still a bit dark. The early mornin damp hit us, an I thought about runnin back fer the coat, but I'd only look like Mutt an Jeff wit tha thing trailin along the ground after me.

We left the buildins an headed up Talbot Street. I looked from one side of the road te the other, lookin in all the shop doorways. ‘No milk yet, Ma!' We turned right up Gardiner Street, not meetin a soul. ‘It's too early te be out yet, Ma,' I whispered. ‘So we're goin te be spotted an look suspicious. So keep yer head down if ye see anyone, an walk fast.'

Me ma looked aroun. ‘Come on, then, we don't want te be arrested fer nothin. They pick ye up fer idlin,' me ma said, hurryin.

We crossed over an down Parnell Street. ‘Look, Ma! He's made deliveries.'

We looked over at a crate of milk bottles sittin outside a shop. ‘Great! Let's move.'

I had a quick look. No! Only milk. We rushed on. ‘Ma! Ma! Look!' I pointed over te a box. ‘Watch there's no one comin!' An I dived on the box. Butter! Twenty pounds. Jaysus! I grabbed the box, tryin te lift it, an then dropped on me arse an hoisted it up te me chest. ‘Anyone comin, Ma?' I croaked.

‘Eh! No! No!' Me ma's eyes were swivellin in all directions.

I staggered off, tryin te hurry. ‘We have te get outa here, Ma, quick!' I was gaspin fer breath. I heaved the box out in front of me chest, propellin meself across the road an turned right down Gardiner Street, not stoppin. I kept movin, me arms breakin, an me heart threatenin te burst in me chest. I kept goin. Left down by the Diamond an right onta Corporation Street. I stopped an dropped the box gently. ‘Ma! Can ye grab a hold of one end, an we'll be faster.'

‘Jaysus! The weight of it,' me ma puffed, liftin it awkwardly.

‘Lift it, Ma!'

‘I am! Wait!' she laughed. ‘Come on,' an we took off, walkin sideways. ‘Hold on, it's slippin!' me ma roared.

‘Grab it, Ma! If we're seen wit this, they'll know we've robbed it, an we'll be arrested straight away.'

Me ma got a hold, an we rushed on, crossin the road an inta the buildins. ‘Head fer the stairs where the coat is, Ma.' We hoisted the box up the stairs, me goin up backwards, an plonked it down on the step. ‘Cover it wit the coat. We don't want it te be seen,' I said, collapsin onta the step, tryin te get me breath back.

‘Oh, Jaysus! I'm glad tha's over,' me ma said, landin down beside me.

‘Yeah, Ma! We're steeped in luck gettin tha butter. An not just tha, but it's Friday, an me customers are expectin me.'

‘Jaysus! Tha's grand altogether,' me ma said, smilin. Then she said, ‘Eh! How much will we get, Martha?'

‘Eh, let me think. Three pounds an ten shillins.'

‘Oh, God! Tha's great, tha's enough te keep us goin, but we'll have te go easy on it.'

‘Yeah! We can't go mad,' I agreed. ‘I'm wonderin, Ma, if I should leave the box wit ye an just carry aroun a few pounds or wha? It's very awkward carryin the box without the shoppin bag.'

‘I don't know, wha de you think? It wouldn't look good if anyone sees me sittin here.'

‘Yeah,' I said, thinkin.

‘An what if he finds us? He could be headin in here right now lookin fer us,' me ma said, her eyes bulgin.

Me heart leapt wit the fright. ‘Yeah, ye're right, Ma! He knows where te find me. Look,' I said. ‘We're goin te have te be very quick. We'll wait here until everyone starts gettin on the move. An then I'll start goin aroun te me customers. You stand up there, keepin an eye out over the balcony. An keep the box beside ye, covered wit the coat. Tha way, if anyone sees ye, they won't pass any remarks. They'll think ye're waitin fer someone. An ye'll be able te keep a watch out fer tha aul fella. I'll be as fast as I can.'

‘Yeah!' me ma said, worryin. ‘I only hope te God everythin works out an he doesn't come lookin in here fer us.'

‘No, Ma. He won't, not yet. He'll think I'm aroun the shops. It's still too early fer me te be here. Tha's wha he'll be thinkin. So he'll be scourin Henry Street an hangin aroun O'Connell Street, tryin te spot us. Tha's if he isn't off drinkin the money. So we still have a head start on him. Don't worry, tha bastard is not goin te catch us,' I said, feelin hot in me chest. Then we stayed quiet, feelin satisfied. Just waitin fer the time te pass.

‘We won't have enough fer the boat, though, tha takes us te England,' me ma said slowly, lookin at me.

I felt me heart sinkin. ‘No, I suppose not, but ye never know, Ma. We'll find a way,' I said, feelin meself liftin again.

I was gettin impatient an stood up an walked up the stairs te look over the balcony. I saw people movin down Corporation Street. ‘We won't have te wait much longer, Ma. It's much brighter now, an people are on the move.' I sat down again te wait.

‘This waitin'd kill ye,' me ma said. ‘Me nerves are gone, sittin here waitin fer him te jump out at us from nowhere.'