Mage of Shadows (39 page)

"Wonder what that was about." I said to Carmen, who was sitting on the stool next to me. The music had gone down to a dull thump, low enough to have a decent conversation from where we were sitting at the moment in between dances.

She bit her lip, then said, "It might have been about Nishi's brother."

"Her brother?" I replied blankly, "He graduated, right?"

Carmen looked even more uncomfortable now, "You didn't know? I thought Nishi would have told you… her brother committed suicide, Nick."

That was news to me, "What?!" I said, shocked, "Really? Why?"

My girlfriend shrugged and downed the drink in her hand before getting another, "I really don't know," She admitted, "I didn't know him that well. But he and Vik were pretty much best friends. Her brother, Alok, he had his issues… but not really ones that seemed too bad. Nothing that most college students don't usually go through, you know? All I really know is that at the end of the winter semester, he was dead."

"Damn." I muttered, "Nishi never told me… why wouldn't she tell me?"

Carmen glanced around, and drank down some more of her new beverage, a type of beer that she enjoyed, one of the only ones that I found she actually liked when it came to beer. Finishing yet another, she leaned in closer to me. Carmen was beginning to look a bit dizzy, but she had been steadily drinking all night, possibly even more than I had.

"Nick, I didn't think about it much at the time, but… Alok was working with Professor Daniels on the Aberrant Project. Officially, he was a undergrad in his lab, but he served as Daniels' student assistant on magical projects as well."

I digested that, "So you think that might have something to do with it? Maybe he was killed like Emily over that? But I thought the issue over the Aberrant Project didn't happen until late summer and early fall."

"It didn't." Carmen agreed, "But this might have been something related to it. Nothing good seems to come from that stupid project. But Lincoln and Allen are obsessed with it. They went as far as killing Walsh and… and Emily."

She looked visibly pained, but ordered yet another drink, which the bartender brought immediately. Carmen had long since Pushed him into letting her order whatever she wanted, though she was clearly underage. The benefits of being a User… of course, it didn't seem like a very good thing to me, at the moment. As soon as the beer hit the counter, the dark-eyed girl snatched it up and began to guzzle it down like she was in a race. I really started to get worried now.

I put my hand atop of her free one, "It's alright," I said as soothingly as possible as I eyed the her third beer in five minutes, "We don't have to talk about that. Thank you for telling me."

"I want to go home." Carmen shook her head dizzily, finally setting her drink down and closing her eyes, "I'm- it's too loud, Nick. Can we please go home?"

"Of course." I held her hand tight and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist. I hadn't had too much to drink that night, and hadn't had a sip of alcohol in over an hour, so it left me more than cognitively present to lead my stumbling girlfriend home. When it came to holding her alcohol, Carmen was a kind of a lightweight- and she had somewhat overdone it tonight, especially in these last few minutes. I should have stopped her earlier and I was mentally kicking myself for letting her keep ordering. Some boyfriend I was.

No matter what, I definitely couldn't leave her alone the way she was. Alcohol usually worked two ways on my girlfriend. It either left her happily dazed or it wrapped her in an intoxicated cloud of personal anguish. The misery side only happened on rare occasions such as this, but even Danae had warned me not to leave her by herself then. When even the ice-queen worried, I took it very seriously.

Carmen had stopped along the way back to the house to throw up a couple times, and although she had gotten most of it out on the street, some of it had dribbled onto her clothes, which were apparently new. That only served to further send her into despair.

"You didn't even notice my clothes," Carmen complained dizzily to me as I opened the door and helped her inside, "You're so clueless sometimes… you know that?"

"I'm sorry."

"You should be." She mumbled as I helped her through the halls and guided her up the stairs. I led her into the bathroom first, and she immediately stumbled to the toilet to continue what she had started just outside. I winced and mentally cursed myself for letting her drink so much at the party. Stupid Stratus, stupid, stupid.

I already pushed Nishi and Vik's heated argument to the back of my mind along with Alok. Detective work was the last thing on my mind with Carmen to worry about, not to mention finals. Partying was all well and good, but I hadn't expected to stay that late, nor did I expect to have to deal with this now. I entered Carmen's room and rummaged through the drawers that I knew had her nightwear, then went back across the hall.

"I hope you don't mind wearing the pink, because I couldn't find your-" I froze in the doorway of the bathroom. Carmen was sitting by the toilet looking quite miserable, but that wasn't what had me scared. What frightened me was the very sharp, very familiar knife that she had in her hand. If I had to place it, it looked like one of Kristen's personal combat knives. Not surprising that it was in the bathroom, the sophomore girl had a tendency to leave them lying around everywhere she went.

"Car…" I said slowly, "What are you doing with that?" I began to walk slowly over to her.

"Nothing," Carmen replied, head swaying slightly, though her eyes stayed focused on the knife, "Just thinking, you know? It would be really easy, really quick... I'm worthless, Nick, it should have been me anyways…"

"Carmen, you don't know what you're saying." I assured her, reaching my hands out in an attempt to coax her to give it up, "It's alright, let's just go to bed..."

No go, she didn't even move her eyes from the blade to look at me when I spoke, the only sign I had that she had heard me was her head beginning to shake back and forth. Carmen was mumbling under her breath, repeating the same words like a miserable mantra.

"It should have been me… Emily was the good one… not me…"

I could remember months ago when I met her in the Star Room for the first time and we talked about suicide. I thought she had gotten past it, but apparently not. I had cold logic dictate my actions then when she was just a friend to me, almost just an acquaintance. I didn't believe she would actually commit suicide then, so it was easy for me to let her go off on her own.

I swallowed nervously now, eying both her and the knife. Now, Carmen was far more than an acquaintance, and this was about as depressed and despondent as I had ever seen her. If anything happened to her…

"Give me the knife, sweetie." I said quietly, getting down on my knees in front of her, trying to draw her attention away from it as I crawled forward, "Come on, Car… let me have it."

Tears swam unshed in her dark brown eyes when she looked at me, and it broke my heart to see her like that- so unhappy even though we were together. It honestly made me feel like shit, like I wasn't doing a proper job of being there for her.

I'm too focused on school and training, I thought frantically, Carmen is the one who really needs me, who really needs my attention. Her roommate died, dammit… I should have been paying more attention to her even when she wasn't with me. This is my fault.

Slowly, slowly, I crawled. In only a few more horribly long seconds I had crept across the cold tiled floor to sit in front of her with my hands just slightly outstretched. I didn't want to try and rip away the knife with magic- it could startle her into blocking me and finishing what she was obviously thinking about. Not only that, Carmen might never trust me again if I did anything so rash and over the top.

My hands were trembling when they reached out slowly to her own, and I grasped her smaller hands gently. Twin trails of silent tears were running down her cheeks, and I wasn't surprised to find that I was blinking away tears myself.

"Give it to me, Car." I begged again, "Please."

Slowly, she loosed the knife from her tight knuckled grip and dropped it into my hand. I let go of the heavy breath that I hadn't knew I was holding and set the knife onto the white tiled floor next to us, feeling relieved that she had given it up without more of a fight. Thank God, the last thing I wanted to ever do was fight with her in a situation like this.

Carmen let out a squeaking sob and shuffled forward awkwardly to bury her face into my shoulder. I felt the wetness of her tears and the pasty rub of her damp makeup on my clothes and neck, but it didn't really bother me. I did eye the mess in the toilet bowl with no small amount of revulsion and distaste. That definitely didn't look like anything Carmen had eaten at the party- the digestive tract was equal parts fascinating and revolting.

We sat there in that awkward position squashed between the tub and toilet for some time. Finally, I helped Carmen slowly sit on the lidded toilet, flushing away what had once taken up residence in her stomach. Her eyes were dull, and she still seemed depressingly far away. I aided her in washing up, and then led her back across the hall to her room.

"Don't leave me." Carmen pleaded when I let go of her after situating her on the bed to get a better handle of her bundled nightwear, which I set down next to her.

"I wasn't planning on it." I assured her gently, and I helped her out of her now ruined dark blouse, then the skirt. I remembered with some fondness the first time I had seen her in a bra and panties, and how embarrassing it had been at the time. Funny how things could change like that. I assisted her in dressing in the pink cotton pajama top and bottom that she slept in, and undid the bed.

That done, I stripped myself and climbed in next to her, feeling quite exhausted myself after the entire ordeal. I held her close to me and waited until her breathing became calmer, steady in its cycle. She had fallen asleep easily enough to my relief. My mind could relax at last, and I finally slipped into quiet oblivion myself.

111

I kept Carmen as near to me as possible, even as I bodily threw myself into finals prep and review in the next week. My girlfriend insisted that she was completely fine but I just couldn't shake the image of her on that bathroom floor, looking at the knife like its shine held the answer to all the questions in her life. It followed me through the days as easily as any nightmare I had ever had before did. It was hard to make her understand why I wanted her close, and even harder to sometimes have to let her go because of work or school.

It helped, at least, that Les had cancelled practices to give me some space to work on finals.

I missed the growing tension in the house, because of my worries about Carmen and school. I didn't notice the quietly heated arguments between Vik and Danae, the glances towards Nishi, whose eyes never seemed to leave Vik whenever he was present. Whatever score they had to settle it was coming to a climax. I was still summarily confused by it, and for the most part I just ignored it to focus on myself and my girlfriend.

The afternoon of my last fight with Bio 1510 came and passed, and I found myself feeling victorious when I left the lecture auditorium for the last time. So lost in happy thoughts, I bumped into a tall figure just outside the glass doors.

"Oops," I chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed, "I'm sorr-"

He turned. I stared.

Cane in hand, insanity alight in those severely bloodshot eyes, the casual well-to-do smirk. I recognized him immediately even though it had been many months, the Aberrant bizarrely named Willard.

"Hello, boy."

Daylight or not, I immediately began to gather power. He backed away and raised his hands out to the side, a gesture of supposed peace. I didn't trust it, much like I didn't trust him or his stupid master that seemed out to get me no matter what.

"None of that now." Willard said warningly, "I only come as a messenger. Peace, boy."

I cautiously held a light Glow as he slowly reached into his expensive looking blazer and pulled out a small note. Now, in the light, I could see how lined and aged his face was. He must have been pushing sixty, and I wondered how old he actually was. I still didn't know much about Aberrants after all this time, it was still an uncomfortable reality of mage life that I tried to distance myself from.

He handed me the note in a gnarled hand, I took it silently and unfolded it, reading with a sinking heart.

Nicholas Stratus, aka Annoying Fire Aether brat,

I have gone in circles trying to realize some form of revenge that I may have against you. After running around in circles with convoluted plans, a delightfully unexpected opportunity arose that was simply too perfect to pass up… I have your dear friend Nishtha, boy. Just because I cannot harm you does not mean that I cannot make you feel pain. You have slipped past my wrath for long enough. Try and stop me, I dare you... I want you to come. I want you to see her die.

-Lord Richard Kraven, Honored Magus of the Archanos Society, Warlock of Detroit.

It listed an address below. I stared up at Willard who was grinning like a cat who had caught a particularly juicy mouse between its paws. I couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Nishi was a coven initiate, just like me. She hadn't committed any indiscretions either, to be killed like this. Kraven couldn't just kill her because of my mistakes.

"Vik- The Governor-"I found myself stuttering, "He can't do this. If he harms her…"

"Vivek Shah does not protest." Willard said, his leering smirk growing even wider if possible, "This course of action by Lord Kraven meets his full approval. You see… your dear friend Nishtha has been poking her nose where it doesn't belong for too long. Vik has lost his patience for her. Realize that if you attempt to save her, you will be going against his direct orders."

His laughter was manic, over-enthused, passing students stared at him, but he didn't attempt to hide his glee. "No one will help you boy. I told you my master would have his revenge!"