Authors: Anne Herries
âSomething happened to you, my love,'
Sofia had told her.
âYou were frightened and ill. In your fever you spoke of many things, of places you'd seen and people you knew. For weeks you woke crying and screaming, frightened of a dream, but you could never recall it. It is the reason I did not try hard to find your family. If you ran away in such distress there must have been a
reasonâand I would not give you back to people who might ill treat you.'
Had Roxanne's family mistreated her? Sofia had burned her clothes, because she said they were not fit for use and could tell them nothing about her past, except that they were of good cloth.
Roxanne shook her head. If her family had wanted her, she would not have been wandering the roads alone and in such a state. It hardly mattered where she had come from. Sofia had been like a mother to her, giving her all the love she instinctively knew had been missing from her previous life. A wave of grief swept over her, bringing tears to her eyes. She dashed them away with her hand, determined not to give into foolishness. Sofia was gone and she must manage alone.
Faced with walking the rest of the way to London alone or travelling in a chaise with a gentleman, who was truly in no condition to ravage her, she thought she must be sensible and choose the latter. If Lord Clarendon tried to seduce her as he recovered his strength, she could leave him and go on alone.
Removing the black-velvet cloak that had been Sofia's, a relic of the days when she had moved amongst gentlemen of fortune and their mistresses, Roxanne sat on the edge of the bed. Her dress had also belonged to Sofia when she was a young woman; though old-fashioned, it was of good cloth with a low, dipped neckline, in which Roxanne had sewn a frill of soft cream lace for modesty's sake. Amongst her things was a silver hand mirror that she had inherited from her friend, an ivory comb and a bristle brush. She took
them out and then tidied her dark red curls, glancing at herself once before replacing them securely in her bundle.
When she heard the knock at the door, she gave permission to enter, but was surprised when Lord Clarendon walked in.
âI thought it was the innkeeper's wife, my lord,' she said and raised her head defiantly. âWhy did you not tell me you were the grandson of an earl? I should not have called you Mr Clarendon had I known your title, sir.'
âIt hardly matters. Hartingdon is about to disown me anyway.'
âWhy?' Roxanne asked. âIs he not your grandfather?'
âHe brought me up after my parents died, but I was a nuisance. He did not truly wish for the trouble of a young boy and I was left to the care of servants. When he was forced to discipline me, he was harsh. As soon as I inherited my father's estate I left Hartingdon and have visited very seldom sinceâand yetâ¦'
Roxanne sensed his hesitation. âYou are troubled over something?'
âHartingdon is an old man. He fell down in some kind of faint while I was visiting there recently andâto be honest, it distressed me. Had you asked me a week ago if I cared a damn what happened to him, I should have said no but nowâ¦' Luke shook his head and laughed ruefully. âI am a fool. His health changes nothing. And if he makes that popinjay Harte his heirâ¦it is not my affair.'
âWhy would he disown you?' Her clear eyes disconcerted him and he dropped his gaze.
âHe wishes me to marry a suitable young lady, someone with good manners who will not disgrace the family.'
âWhy should he imagine you would marry anyone other than a respectable girl?'
âBecause he has been told that I have a string of mistresses and it is true that I have found pleasure in the arms of whores. I have found them kinder and more generous than young ladies of my acquaintance.' He frowned. âI dare say it was my fault that he was ill.'
âYou are blaming yourself, are you not?'
âYes. I thought he was going to die. It shocked me and I realised I did not wish for it.'
âYou care for him,' Roxanne said and nodded, looking at him curiously. âWhy do you not do as he asks and marry a suitable girl?'
âBecause the only ones I know bore me to tears. I would make him happy if I could, for I believe he may not have long to liveâbut to marry a woman I could not love is a life sentence. Even for his sake I could not do such a thing.'
âNo? I thought men of your class often married for land or money?'
âIf one is in difficultyâ¦' Luke glared at her. âMy father was forever having affairs. He broke my mother's heart. As a consequence they quarrelled andâ¦the chaise he was driving went off the road into a ditch filled with water and they were both killed. I was thrown clear and survived. The last thing I remember
of that day was my mother screaming at him, crying because he had broken yet another promise. I would not wish to make any woman that miserable.'
âHow terrible for you. I think I understand why you feel as you do.' Roxanne frowned. âIf the earl does not have long, could you not let him believe you mean to marry and thenâ¦?'
âBreak it off?' Luke raised his brows. âI should be a fine rogue to dash a young lady's hopes, should I not? Society would throw me out and I should deserve it.'
âYes, it was a foolish idea, though if she knew and it was a business arrangement it might be possible,' Roxanne said and then changed the subject hurriedly because she had been outspoken. âI have asked for my supper to be brought here. Did you want something, sir?'
Luke was staring at her. He looked as if he had been struck by lightning. âWhat did you sayâa business arrangement? What exactly did you mean?'
âIt was mere foolishness.' Roxanne's cheeks burned. âI meant nothingâdid you want something of me, sir?'
âI'm not sure,' he said and looked thoughtful. âI came to ask if you would dine with me down in the parlour, but perhaps I shall have my meal brought up to my room, too. You have given me food of another kind, Miss Roxanneâsomething to chew on for a day or two until I am certain of my own mind.'
Now what did he mean by that? Roxanne would have asked, but her supper arrived and Luke walked away with a nod of the head.
T
he sun shone through the small leaded window the next morning, bringing Roxanne from her bed with new energy. She had been up for some minutes when the innkeeper's wife entered bearing a can of hot water and was grateful for her thoughtfulness.
âThank you. I was about to use the water left from last night and this is a kind thought.'
âHis lordship would expect it, miss. Would you like to eat your breakfast here? His lordship is having his in the private parlour. You could join him, if you wish? He has bacon, devilled eggs, kedgeree and also cold roast ham, besides the toast, of course. You could have the same unless there is something else you would like?'
âIf I could have some bread or rolls with honey, that would do very well. I shall come down as soon as I have washed and tidied myself.'
âOf course, miss. Whatever suits you.'
Roxanne thanked her and she went away. Despite
some fears about the future and her present situation, Roxanne had slept well and was feeling refreshed. She was ready and downstairs in a very short time. In the private parlour, Lord Clarendon, as she was trying to think of him, was drinking coffee and reading a newssheet. He looked up as she entered and smiled. She realised not for the first time that he was very attractive and her heart did a funny little skip.
âAh, Roxanne, did you sleep well? I trust there were no untoward incidents to disturb you last night?'
âNone at all, sir. I slept perfectly and feel much refreshed this morning.'
âThat is excellent news. I, too, am feeling less strained. I have been thinking about our situation and would like you to consider a suggestion that I believe might suit us both. Am I right in believing that you need to find work almost immediately?'
âYes, that is so,' Roxanne replied and sat down just as the innkeeper brought in some warm soft rolls in a covered dish, also butter and a pot of dark honey. âThank you so much.'
She took a fresh baked roll and spread it with honey. Their host poured her a bowl of fragrant coffee, adding a drop of cream, and then left them alone together. Raising her clear eyes to Luke's, Roxanne questioned, âI am not certain of your meaning?'
âIt is a little difficult to explain. Have you been honest with me, Roxanne? From your story I think you honest and of good characterâis there something I should know that you have not told me?'
âI do not see why you should need to know anything
about me, sir.' She hesitated, then, âI will tell you that I have no memory of my life before Sofia found me more than five summers ago. I was in great distress, near to starving and out of my mind with a fever. I had a kerchief with the initials R. P.âand that is why Sofia called me Roxanneâand Peters was the name of a lady I once did some sewing for. It fits and might be my name, but I do not know the truth.'
âGood grief! So you have no idea who you are?' He frowned. âThat could complicate thingsâ¦'
âWhat do you mean? What can my past life mean to you?
âPerhaps nothing, perhaps much.' He glared at her. âWhat else have you kept from me?'
Roxanne thought of the ruby but decided she would not tell him everything just yet. âI do not see what difference it can make to you.'
âIt is in my mind to do as you suggested last nightâbut I should not wish for an unpleasant surprise. I do not want an irate brother or employer turning up on my doorstep causing trouble.'
âI fear you have lost me.' But she was beginning to feel an odd churning in her stomach and her suspicions were aroused. He could not be suggesting what she thought?
âYou want work as an actress and you assured me that you can play royalty or the aristocracy to perfection. What I need is a make-believe wife, Roxanne, a woman who can play the part of my fiancée, and, if necessary, marry me. The marriage would be annulled laterâand you would receive a generous settlement.
You could then live your own life, abroad should you wish itâor perhaps a nice house in the country, where you could entertain your friends.'
Roxanne was stunned, speechless at first, and then firm in denial. âThat is ridiculous, sir. I do not know how you could suggest such a thing. You do not know meâand I do not know you. Even if I agreed, it would be wrong to deceive your grandfather so cruelly.'
Luke frowned. âLast night you said it could be a business arrangement. What is different about my proposal?'
âI meant a young woman of good family who would marry without love for the sake of a home and childrenâa lady who would be content to remain at home in the country while you lived as you pleased in town. Is that not the way many marriages are arranged?'
âYes, of course, but I explained how I felt about that, the distress and misery it can cause. A proper business arrangement, where the lady in question is paid a sum of money and understands her position from the startâthat should not cause unhappiness at all, should it?'
âNo, not if the lady was content with the arrangement.' Roxanne saw the slightly excited, expectant look on his face. âI am not a lady, sir. I told you, I do not know who I amâand I have lived with travelling players for some years. I have appeared on various stages about the country and might be recognised.'
âThat might be a drawback, if you had played in Londonâbut I think you have not?'
âNo, I have never played at a large theatre. Some
times we were employed by a provincial theatre, but often we set up on village greens or in the yard of an inn, as travelling players have for centuries.'
âBlack Bob is not your relationâor your lover?'
âCertainly not!' she cried indignantly.
âThen I see no reason why you should not oblige me.'
âDo you not?' Roxanne pressed a spotless white napkin to her mouth, then laid it by her plate. âI am grateful for the bed and my food, but I think we should part company now. I will find some way of reaching London alone.'
âYou promised you would not abandon me. We still have one more day on the road.'
âYou are perfectly safe now. These people are honest and they know you. Besides, I do not think you are in pain now.'
âI am not in as much pain as I was, but if I wanted to get down from the chaise on the road I could not do so without assistance. If my idea upsets you, I withdraw it. Last night I thought you willing. I misjudged the matter. Forgive me, but allow me to take you on to London and find you a place to stay and at least an interview with the manager of a theatre.'
âI see no reason why you should do anything for me. I have done very little to deserve it, sir.'
âApart from saving my life twice?' Luke grinned at her. âSay you are not offended, Roxanne. I assure you that my motives are not those of greed or wishing to deceiveâexcept in a kind way.'
âA kind way?'
âI should like my grandfather to die with an easy mind. Is that so very terrible?'
âNo, and if the young lady were willing I should not entirely condemn the ideaâbut I am not a lady. You would be lying to him if you presented me as a lady of good birth.'
âSupposing I merely said you were a young lady of good characterâwould that be a lie?'
âNo.' Roxanne met his searching gaze. âI am untouchedâif that is what you mean. Sofia kept me safe. She believed I was of a good family and she wanted me to become a lady. She did not wish me to follow in her footstepsâbut a lady is born, not made. I could live quietly, perhaps in Bath, as you suggested, but without patronage I should not be accepted.'
âSupposing I could find a lady who would sponsor you? Supposing you found yourself able to mix in companyâwould you then consider becoming my fiancée or, if necessary, wife for a short time?'
Roxanne hesitated. She hardly knew why she was resisting. Sofia had kept her jewel safe, telling her that she need not work on the stage. The chance to be accepted into society, to live as a respectable young lady, was something that might never come again. If she refused and insisted on finding work as an actress, her future was inevitable. In the end she would be trapped or persuaded into taking a protector.
âI might consent to a long engagement,' she said and then wondered if she had run mad. âI think marriage might be a step too far, but if you were to introduce me
as your fiancée and explain that we could not marry untilâ¦my father returns from India, it might serve.'
âIs your father in India?'
âI have no idea who my father is or even if he is alive. It was a game Sofia invented. She said I was the daughter of an English lady and an Indian prince. She was once the mistress of a maharajah and liked to tell me tales of India. I think her stories were so vivid that sometimes I saw the prince in my dreams. She said it would take away the bad dreams and she was right.'
âYour friend was a remarkable lady.'
âShe taught me so much and I loved her. Sometimes her stories seem real to me, but I remember nothing beyond waking and seeing Sofia smiling at me.'
âIt must have been terrifying for you.'
âYes, at first, but Sofia helped me through the dark times when the nightmares came.'
âYou were lucky to have her.'
âI think had she not found me I should have diedâbut you do not need to tell your grandfather lies. Surely there must be a young woman of good family who would oblige you?'
âI do not wish to make a marriage of convenience.' A tiny nerve flicked at his temple. âMy mother made such a marriage and was desperately unhappy. I would not inflict that pain on anyone. I truly do not wish to harm anyone.'
âThenâ¦' Roxanne sighed ââ¦perhaps we might have a business arrangement if you wished for it.'
âI begin to see how the story might work,' Luke said, his gaze narrowed. âI could say that you were the
daughter of an employee of the East India Company. You have not heard from your father for some time and, while consenting to an engagement, could not marry until he replies to your letter. If necessary, we could always kill him off at some future date.'
âDo not joke about such things.' Roxanne twisted her napkin in her fingers. âI feel that we are discussing a wicked trick and I am not sure that I could carry it through. If the earl were to discover the deceit he would be devastatedâit might lead to his death.'
âWhy should it be discovered?' Luke's cool gaze intensified. âYou are an attractive young woman, Roxanneâbut your clothes do not do you justice. Dressed as a young woman of good family you will look very different. No one is going to recognise you as an actressânone of my friends or family will have seen you on the stage. An engagement may be broken. If something goes wrong, we can end it and my grandfather will understand that these things happen. However, he may not live for many months. After his death, you will be free to go wherever you please. Is it too much to askâto make an old man happy?'
Roxanne considered, then, âNo, that part at least is commendable. Yet I still feel it wrong to deceive him. Could you not bring yourself to make a marriage of convenience to a young lady of your own class, my lord?'
âI fear it is out of the question. If you will not accept, I must forget the idea. Grandfather has given me an ultimatum and if I do not abide by it⦠He has threatened to disown me andâmake life extremely difficult for
me and the people I support. Besides, his cousin Harte is a pompous fool and not fit to stand in Grandfather's shoes.'
âWhat happens to you if the earl disinherits you?'
âI lose the earl's title, his estate and fortuneâbut do not imagine I care for his money. I have sufficient of my ownâ¦or I had. He has told me that he can withhold the inheritance I had from my paternal grandfather until I am thirty if he chooses. I do not know if it is an empty threat. I must speak with my lawyers in town. It would be deuced awkward. I have commitments to some people that I would be loath to break.'
âWhat kind of commitments?' She saw his quick frown. âThat is not my business. Forgive me. It is just that I would be certain what is in your mind concerning this arrangement.'
âMy suggestion stemmed from your own, Roxanne. Forgive me, I should not have mentioned it. After all, you hardly know me. I might be a ruthless rogue out to rob the old man of his money.'
âNo, I do not believe that,' Roxanne replied. âYou must allow me a little time, sir. I shall complete the journey to London with youâand then we shall discuss this again, perhaps in a few days.'
His gaze fastened on her face. âYes, of course. We have another day on the road and then I shall take you to a place where you can stay until a decision is made.'
Â
The journey was completed without incident. They were obliged to get down from the chaise once so that Luke could relieve himself. He had not lied when he
told her he would need assistance to hobble into the bushes at the side of the road and leaned heavily on her arm. From the grimace on his face, she thought that he was still in some pain. She turned her head modestly and ignored the sounds from behind her, waiting patiently to help him back into the carriage when he was ready.
Luke shot her an amused glance. âYou play the part of a long-suffering wife to perfection, Roxanne. If you chose, you could easily fool Grandfather or anyone else into thinking we had been married for an age.'
Roxanne looked at him disapprovingly. âI know you are jesting, but I do not find the suggestion funny. Marriage would not be an option. Even an engagement seems so deceitful when there is no intention on either sideâbut I do understand why you wish to please him.'
âHe gets so distressed over the smallest thing,' Luke told her. âI fear a fit of temper may carry him off. Once, that would not have concerned me, but nowâI find I should not like to be the cause of his death.'
âYou really believe that your refusal to marry may cause the earl to die in distress?'