Make Him Purr: A Paranormal BBW Werepanther Shape Shifter Mail-Order Navy SEAL Romance (9 page)

***

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to do, and it seemed he wasn’t alone with that emotion.

“So, what now?” Sonya asked with her arms crossed over her chest as they stood in the middle of Diesel’s empty living room.

They’d just returned from town, where Diesel had handed Sonya back her driver’s license, and they’d barely exchanged a word since. Last night, when they’d returned to his cottage, passion had got the best of them both, and he’d thoroughly enjoyed the night they’d spent together, laughing and fucking until dawn. Now he had no idea what was supposed to happen.

“Well, you’re free to go. I won’t file that report. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve paid your debt. Just keep out of the houses around Shifter Grove and we’ll have no issues,” he said, his lame attempt at a joke obviously unappreciated by Sonya.

Her eyes narrowed, and he wasn’t sure what to say next. Please stay? Don’t go, maybe we can make this work? But make what work, exactly? They’d had sex once, and so far, Diesel had been little more than a benevolent gatekeeper, making sure she paid her dues and didn’t get into any more trouble for a few days. Not exactly the basis to build a relationship on, huh?

Memories flooded back to him of that fateful day that had cost him his career and his ability to really share what he was feeling. He looked at her, his heart constricting. She seemed so small and vulnerable, standing there, unsure of what to do next. He was sure she hated it as much as he did – she was a proud woman, and not one to put herself in a position of weakness lightly.

But could he ask her to stay if he wasn’t even sure that he could give her anything that she needed? What if his darkness just dragged her down too?

Diesel pulled a hand through his hair, frustrated. How’d he got himself into this mess? Shifter Grove was supposed to be a new chance, a possibility to start fresh. And here she was, his new beginning, and he couldn’t reach out to her.

“I think you should stay here for the night. It’s late and it’s not like we have a motel or anything in town yet. I’ll go pick up some dinner from Sunrise’s. Okay?” he asked, keeping his expression hard.

Sonya’s mild annoyance turned into a look of utter sadness now. It hung about her for just a second before she wiped it away, looking impassive again. She nodded, spinning around and heading for the bathroom.

“Sure. Get me some pie. I’ll take a shower,” she shot over her shoulder, disappearing behind the door.

He stood there for a moment longer, fighting with the urge to just barge in after her and fuck her senseless in the shower. But instead of acting on it, he growled wordlessly at his own uncertainty and headed out the door.

The engine roared to life and he floored it out of there, gravel flying in every direction on the driveway. At best, he felt stupid, and at worst, he felt like he’d failed her.

Should have never acted on it,
he told himself.

But that, of course, was bullshit. It had been a long time since he’d had quite as much fun as he had with Sonya, and he knew it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just a quick bang with a woman he had no interest in – spirits knew, he’d done plenty of that in his life, and he’d never left them feeling more than physically sated. But Sonya? She stayed with him. Like a happy haze that had been spread over him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her, or looking at her.

He kept his hands on the steering wheel, gripping it so hard he thought he’d rip it right off. Adrenaline flushed through him as he thought back, remembering his last deployment. The lead for his squad, he’d spearheaded them through the jungles of another lost and forgotten Southern American country. His squad was an elite unit of shifter soldiers – his friends, his comrades, his brothers in arms.

To this day, he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. They were suddenly ambushed by an overwhelming force in an area they had stalked countless times and had designated as safe. The very people they were supposed to be hunting and eliminating came at them with a force three times bigger than Diesel knew to be there, and the battle was quick and brutal. In the end, it was just him standing in a sea of blood – both his squad’s and the hapless fools’ that had dared attack them.

He could remember so clearly how his men looked, gasping for their last breaths. Glassy eyes staring right through him, their animals dying right along with them, and him helpless in the middle of it. To this day, he didn’t know why he had lived, why he had been the only one to survive. Sure, he was fast and strong, but so were the others. And Diesel certainly didn’t believe that there was some kind of higher power looking out for him.

Rationally, he knew it was just a combination of expert training and pure, blind luck – it always was. But emotionally? Nothing could convince him that what had happened had been fair in any way, shape or form. He’d have given his life for any single one of his squad that died in that jungle, nameless and forgotten. They hadn’t even received commendations for the battle – as far as the Navy was concerned, it never happened at all.

That was what they’d all signed up for and known; but it was one thing agreeing to it and accepting it when there was no real danger, and a whole other thing living with the knowledge that the sacrifices of your men only lived on in your heart.

After that, Diesel had been honorably discharged. As much as he’d wanted to keep going, he couldn’t deal with what had happened and still effectively lead a squad. He didn’t need fancy military psychologists to tell him that he was damaged. He might as well have lost an arm or a leg in the battle – that was just how helpless he felt.

And now here you are again, mucking everything up,
he thought darkly.

He’d been trying his damndest to put it all behind him, but it just took one night with Sonya to rip those wounds right open again. What if he’d fail her too? Wouldn’t it be better to give her a chance at a future with someone who could give her what she deserved?

But Diesel wouldn’t have long to figure things out. Someone else was going to make him decide very fast whether he wanted to fight for her or not. And that someone had no qualms about using violence to achieve his goals.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Sonya

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Sonya murmured to herself, letting the hot water cascade over her body.

Her mocha skin was dappled with suds of soap and her hands worked through her thick, long brunette curls. Usually, taking a shower was a rejuvenating, meditative thing for her. She would go over her day and figure out if anything was left unfinished or if she could have done something better. But, on rare occasions, the hot water just made her emotions boil over – this was one of those times.

Tears burned her eyes, though she kept them at bay. A few might have rolled over her cheeks, but she told herself that it was just the water pouring down her face.

It wasn’t that she felt bad about what she’d done with Diesel – hell no, it had been completely worth it and more! But she’d allowed herself to hope that maybe, just
maybe,
it could be the start of something more, something bigger, something good. And instead of having her feelings reciprocated, she was met with that stony silence she’d chipped away so painstakingly before Diesel revealed some of the softness inside. Now, all that work seemed to have been for nothing, and she was left standing like a fool, holding her heart in her palms and having it rejected.

Something was wrong, that was obvious. But what was it? And did she even have the right to find out? She barely knew the man. Maybe the best thing to do was to pack her bag and just get the hell out. Damn the hot sex and the sizzling chemistry. Focus on the task – getting as far away from Blade as she could without leaving a string of dead bodies behind her.

Sonya sighed to herself, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and cleaning off the soap. She turned off the water and toweled her hair, feeling no cleaner than before she stepped under the stream of water. If anything, she just felt more sour and annoyed at what had been dangled in front of her nose and then snatched away unceremoniously.

She pulled on a pair of panties and an oversized tee, leaving her hair to dry in the air. She didn’t want to dress in anything more modest – let Diesel see that fine Illinois booty he was willing to let walk out the door! She gave herself a critical look in the foggy mirror, turning around and striking a pose – yeah, his loss. She’d approach the topic once more over dinner, but if she didn’t get a spark out of him then, she’d just go and strike out on her own again, no matter how much it fucking hurt.

Sonya pushed the bathroom door open, hearing some noise on the other side, and walked out.

“That was fast. I hope you got my pie,” she called.

Sonya froze two steps outside of the bathroom. In the middle of the living room, poring through her bag, stood Blade. He looked up at her and grinned wickedly, the little velvet bag dangling from his fingers.

“Fancy seeing you here, baby,” he said, backed up by barking laughter from Deke and a confused chuckle from Tate.

Deke was standing next to the door leading into the kitchen, leaning on the doorframe, and Tate blocked the only exit straight into the yard.

“Fuck,” Sonya exclaimed, panic rising in her chest.

“Sure, don’t mind if I do, but later. First, do you wanna tell me what the
fuck
do you think you’re doing, girl? Don’t you know no one runs from Blade? And no one takes Blade’s property.”

Sonya had to suppress the urge to groan and roll her eyes. Blade had a tendency of referring to himself in the third person, like he was some quasi villain out of a shitty cartoon.

“Yeah, well, I figured after you gave me another shiner, I was due for some compensation,” she bit back, putting her hands on her hips and widening her stance.

She knew she was in deep shit, but tucking down and crying about it wasn’t going to get her anywhere. She just needed to stall them long enough for her to figure out what to do. Sonya glanced around, locking on a window that was partially open. Maybe she could get to it, shove it open and jump out before they could get to her? If she got outside, she knew she could outrun them, but that meant getting outside first.

I hope Diesel takes his time,
she thought, panic gripping her chest.

The last thing she wanted was for Diesel to get hurt.

“If I remember right, you deserved that one, you little bitch.”

Deke, subtle as ever.

“Shut the fuck up, Deke,” Sonya and Blade barked almost in unison.

That brought a smile to Blade’s lips.

“Still got that temper, even when you know you’re going to get a solid lesson in a few moments. That’s always what I liked about you, Sonya. You’re a real ride or die bitch. So I guess, since you won’t ride, you’re gonna have to die, huh? Shame. I’m going to miss that ass. And that pussy.”

Blade licked across his lips with his wide, thick tongue. It made Sonya shudder to think that she’d ever let him anywhere near her. Let alone that she’d given herself to him for years. Ugh.

“Well, I guess. I’m a bitch, that much I’ll agree on with you. So since you’re going to axe me anyway, you wanna tell me what that damn thing is all about?” she asked, pointing at the small bag in his hand.

Blade quirked a brow and looked at the little pouch and then over to Sonya, tucking it in his back pocket.

“Easy. My mother always told me not to trust anyone. So I didn’t. And when she betrayed me, sprouting nonsense about how I was a danger to society when I cut some punk’s throat for busting in on my corner back in my hood days, I cut her throat too. This was hers. I thought she was different, but I should have known better. I keep this around to remind me that I can’t trust any bitch. And once again, you’ve proven me right.”

Sonya didn’t know what to say to that. Blade was fucking insane, that much was clear. Even Tate and Deke were sharing confused, dumbstruck looks amongst one another. Though her mind barely registered it, her body recognized her chance. She leapt into action, bursting into a sprint and passing Deke easily.

Sonya reached the window, but it was jammed, and by the time she got it open, Blade’s iron grip locked around her waist and flung her back, sending her tumbling over the couch and collapsing on the floor along with it.

“Don’t you FUCKING DARE, BITCH!” Blade roared, the tiger so close to the surface that she could almost see it in his expression.