Making the Cut (20 page)

Cade sensed my anger and drew back, gray eyes intense.“Babe?”

I mentally shook myself, knowing I had to act normal, I wouldn’t put it past him to lock me in here if he knew I wanted to leave.

I stroked his cheek. “Go to Bull honey,” I whispered. “He needs you.”

Cade frowned, knowing something wasn’t right but I could feel his concern for his brother.

“Okay Gwen, but I want you naked in my bed when I get back.” He commanded.

“And after I fuck you, you are going to tell me how you knew about Bull.”

I barely restrained an eye roll him ordering me about came to naturally.

“Okay Cade.”

He stayed rooted to his spot, not taking his concentrated gaze off me.

“Go.” I urged, pushing him away from me.

He nodded sharply, walking towards the door, he turned, hand on the doorknob.

“Lock this behind me baby. The party might get a little out of control, and with the boys from other charters here, don’t want someone stumbling in here by mistake.” He waited for my nod before leaving.

I heard his pause so I walked over to the door, clicking the lock in place. Only then did I hear his footsteps leave. I slowly sank down onto the floor, hands in my face, feeling like shit. Firstly, telling Bull about my suicide attempt was hard. No one knew. Except Alex. Somehow that strong macho man saw what was coming and stopped me from ending my life. I was forever grateful for that. He still called me almost every day to make sure I was coping. The only way he wouldn’t tell anyone was if I agreed to therapy, and I did, even had Skype sessions since I had been here.

And secondly, even though I was trying hard to deny it to myself, I really liked Cade, felt it down to my core. And it hurt like hell that he just went and fucked some slut, with me outside, drinking with his brothers and his sister. My breath hitched a little as I cried through my silent pity party.

“Pull yourself together Gwen.” I commanded myself.

I pushed off the floor, taking a deep breath and grabbed my purse, which Cade had thrown on the bed. I picked it up, slowly unlocking the door and peeked out. I could still hear the dull rumble of music and voices, but upstairs seemed quiet. I slipped out, slowly making my way down the stairs, trying not to listen too hard at the goings on. I made it through the hallway, now the tricky part, how the heck was I going to make it through the huge party area full of people? The room was relatively dark, I guessed people were using it to get lucky in lieu of beds, so I crept past unnoticed. I slipped out the front door and into the shadows, away from the party, to Amy’s car, which was thankfully parked out of the way.

I sighed a huge sigh of relief once I was in. But shit. The compound gates! How was I meant to get out? Did I have to have some codeword or secret handshake?

“Darn it!” I whispered angrily, smacking my hands on the steering wheel. Out of the corner of my eye I saw headlights of a couple of motorcycles heading towards the gate. Yes! Luck was on my side. I quickly pulled the car out and followed the bikes out of the now open gate and into the night.

Faces. Blood. So much blood. A mans head exploding in my face, I felt of pieces of brains on my cheek. Pain. So much of it, Jimmy’s face, yanking my legs apart, laying atop my broken body. There is no one here to save me, the knife against my neck, leering eyes watching the life seep from me. I screamed, scream for help until my throat is raw.

Suddenly someone was shaking me, light flashed in my face. What’s going on?

I blinked, disorientated for a second. Cade’s worried and angry face filled my vision.

“Gwen. What the fuck?” He demanded, concern in his voice. I was still confused, I’m in my bed, it was still dark outside. Wait how did he get in here? I glanced down and saw a gun in his hands. This was a lot to take in.

“Why do you have a gun?” I asked, one of the many questions I had, but half asleep that is what I deigned most important. Cade’s expression turned stormy.

“Well after finding an empty bed, and Amy’s car gone I came here, to hear you screaming bloody fucking murder. Wasn’t coming in unarmed. What the fuck was that Gwen?” He bit out.

I sat up in bed and he sat on the side, arms crossed.

“Nothing.” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed. “Just a nightmare.”

“Didn’t sound like any fuckin nightmare.” He growled, his face softened and stroked my face. “Baby.” Is all he whispers, I saw concern on his rugged face.

I ignored this. “What are you doing here?” I snapped, now that I was a bit more awake my sass came back, so did my anger.

Cade glared at me. Obviously I was not the only angry one.

“Well like I said Gwen, got kind of fucking worried coming back to an empty bed, with no explanation as to where you were. Especially after all the shit with Bull.”

I forgot my anger a second and laid my hand on his arm.

“Is Bull okay?” I asked with concern.

I watched as Cade’s eyes hardened even more, he obviously upset about his brother didn’t want to show weakness.

“No.” He clipped. “We’ve got him on watch until we can sort something. He’s alive though. Thanks to you.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, party to hide my skimpy nightie, I watched as Cade’s hungry eyes zeroed in.

“I’m glad to hear that he is still breathing at least.” I whispered sadly. “You need to leave.” I spat at Cade remembering myself.

Cade scowled at me, stood up and started undressing.

“Like fuck I am going anywhere. I had a hard fuckin night only good thing about it was knowing I’d get to slide into you and the end of it. I’m staying here and you’re telling me why you left.” He told me, like it was his choice to make.

I hauled the covers back, my anger back with a vengeance. I tried to ignore Cade’s gaze on my body. I stood toe to toe with him, glaring up at him.

“So you were planning on fucking me after you already had your dick in some skank?” I hissed, watching Cade’s eyes widen. “Classy Cade. How dare you think you can come waltzing into my life, claim me as your ‘Old lady’,” I inserted air quotes here, “Make me stupidly believe I feel something for you and then fuck around right under my nose?” I poked him in the chest. “I am no idiot, and I am not going to let some biker asshole hurt me in any, way shape or form, ever again!!” My voice was almost a shout.

Cade seized my hand at his chest roughly and grabbed my hip with his other.

“You better watch how you are fucking talking to me.” He snarled menacingly, I felt his anger pulsing around me.

“Why? You going to smack me around now?” I spat at him, trying to struggle out of his hold.

“You know I wouldn’t Gwen, even if it might smack some god damn sense into you.” His arms were like a vice around me.

“Stop struggling Gwen, and what the fuck? I haven’t had my dick in anyplace but your sweet pussy tonight. Although I’m feeling this pussy might be a hell of a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”

His words cut through me, I struggled not to double over, but I kept my brave face.

“Don’t insult me by denying it asshole. Ginger came to see me tonight, filled me in on where ‘your cock’ has been.” I watched Cade’s face harden even more. “And I saw the lipstick on your neck with my own eyes.”

He let me go to stride around the room, fists clenched.

“FUCK!” He yelled, I flinched, slightly afraid. He noted this but didn’t tone it down.

“Didn’t put my dick anywhere near that toxic pussy Gwen.” He stated quietly, looking me in the eyes.

I gulped, suddenly unsure, but still knowing how easy it is for men to lie, I was slightly confused. I wasn’t going to give up though.

“Where were you for the whole night then Cade?” I asked, praying for some sort of explanation.

Cade was still glaring at me, eyes wild.

“Club business Gwen, none of yours.”

I snorted. “None of my business?” My voice was bordering on shrill. “So is it my business when you fuck someone else?” I asked sarcastically.

“She came onto me, pushed that bitch off. Wouldn’t touch that trash when I knew what a sweet piece I had in my bed.”

His grey eyes were piercing into me, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was telling the truth. I didn’t like that I had a small inkling of doubt in my theory.

“Yeah Gwen. See your getting it now.” He spoke slowly. “You’re so fucking quick to judge me, any excuse to question what we have. Take the easy way out. Fuck this, don’t want to have to deal with your shit, no pussy, no matter how sweet is worth this.”

I felt a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach at his harsh words, shit I may have really fucked this up. Cade walked up to me and roughly put a hand on my neck.

“Congrats Gwen. You got what you wanted. I’m gone.”

He kissed me hard and firm, then without a second look, Cade strode out, slamming the door behind him.

I sank into my bed, thoughts racing through my brain, my nightmare, first one in awhile since Cade has been in my life. Cade’s concerned face, outweighing his anger as he woke me. Crap I had been such I bitch! He was right, I was quick to judge, but fuck, he knew what I went through. He was away the whole night then expects me to believe him without further explanation. I let out a frustrated little scream, then promptly burst into tears. I should be glad, his world, the MC the biker, the ‘club business’ the jealous skanks. Death. That was all what I wanted to stay away from. But my feelings for Cade ran deep. Like that dreaded L word. I couldn’t explain it. I’d known him for what three weeks? And we’d been fighting for half of that time. But I guess romance novels and every cliché about men in women were right. Love doesn’t make sense. Now I’d lost it, before I even knew I had it. But this wasn’t entirely my fault. Cade acted like an asshole. This was too much to deal with. I turned to hug my pillow, crying myself to sleep.

Chapter 9

I lay on the sun lounger in my back yard, welcoming the comforting rays of heat against my skin. My ‘relaxing’ playlist sounded in my ears, up loud as I could get it to scare away any unwelcome thoughts. My hands closed around my cold margarita, my body welcoming the chill in the scorching weather. It was Sunday. I spent the whole of Saturday working at the store, trying to act normal, and failing if the girl’s treatment of me was anything to go by. No one mentioned Cade so I guessed he had filled Rosie in. I stayed late on Saturday night, catching up on paperwork, as I had received a text from Amy saying she wouldn’t be home as she was in the middle of a ‘fuckfest’ which made happy that girl needed to get laid.

I couldn’t sleep in an empty house that night, and without any word from Cade my mood was definitely down. I tossed and turned all night, dozed off about four, then woke late. After finishing cleaning the entire house, I looked out at the beautiful weather and decided not to let my black mood ruin a sunny day.

So I mixed up a batch of margaritas, put on my bikini and decided to get a tan and get drunk. I wasn’t planning on doing it alone, but Amy wasn’t answering my texts or phone calls so I guessed she was still busy, that guy had stamina.

So here I was, drinking on my own, trying to focus on the fact I was alive and healthy, not a sad, single, most likely alcohol dependent spinster. The ring tone of my phone interrupted my song and I looked at the display and gave a small smile.

“Alex!” I greeted one of my best friends with false brightness, not wanting him to be concerned about my mental state.

“Gwen.” He rumbled, a classic man greeting. “What’s wrong?” No nonsense, this guy knew me too well.

Unfortunately I hadn’t gotten around to telling him about Cade. Okay I purposefully didn’t tell him. Alex was almost as protective over me as my brother, especially after my suicide attempt. Knowing I was involved with yet another biker would not help settle his mind.

“Nothing,” I chirped, “Just had a late night last night, didn’t get much sleep.” I go for half-truth, I hated lying to my friend.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” He persisted.

“Promise, just lack of sleep. Now seriously lets not talk about me, I’m sick of it.” I joked, “how are you? How is Ryan? How is my city?”

I heard Alex’s deep chuckle down the phone. “All good babe. Ryan is missing his two partners in crime though.” He sighed, “He’s driving me crazy, can’t even handle a couple of weeks without you two. I think a visit will be in order in the not too distant future. Not only to see you, but to save my sanity.” He joked.

I let out a little squeal and clapped my hands. “You so have to come!! I have been missing you two as well, Ryan will love our little place, and I’m sure we can find something for you to do, kill some animals or something.” I suggested.