Making the Cut (24 page)

“Don’t peddle pussy babe, strictly stripping.” Cade’s voice had an edge, like he was almost finding my reaction amusing.

“How involved are you in the running of this club?” I asked, trying not to sound like a crazy jealous girlfriend. But I was feeling like taking a drive to this strip club and burning it to the ground. Or at least checking it out.

Cade smirked, definitely finding this part of the conversation amusing.

“I check in every now and then, take care of the books and most of the security side of things.” His eyes were twinkling.

I didn’t say anything else, chewing all of this information over. So not only was my boyfriend selling weapons, he also ‘checked in’ on a strip club. And looking like him I bet he got a fair share on attention. But I was focusing on the wrong bit of information, owning a strip club wasn’t against the law, but selling guns on the black market sure as fuck was, those guns weren’t used for good deeds.

“Babe.” Cade’s voice brought me out of my head and I saw an almost worried look in his eyes. Strange, he always seemed so under control, but he seemed rattled.

“Give me a second.”

I didn’t move off him, I doubt he would let me anyway, his arms were tight around me, bordering on painful, relying some emotions he wouldn’t verbalize, he was scared of losing me. I thought about the reality of what he did, aside from it potentially landing him in prison for a long time, it also put him in a huge amount of danger. I already worried sick about Ian, now my mind would be constantly wondering if my boyfriend was going to be arrested or shot. He said he wanted to get out of the business, he sounded like he meant it, the look of disgust while he was explaining it convinced me. But how long would that take? And I’m sure not all of his brothers would be happy with that idea. Plus I’m pretty sure you couldn’t just inform dangerous people, ‘Sorry we don’t want to sell you guns anymore, don’t worry we won’t tell anyone about your illegal activities, as long as you keep us off your Christmas card list.

I bit my lip. Shit!! I really knew how to pick them. I felt Cade’s fingers softly brush my mouth.

“Hard for me to concentrate on not claiming that mouth when you do that baby.” Cade said softly, eyes intent on mine.

I felt down to my bones, that this was special. What we had, it was not something you threw away easily, we seemed to be moving at warp speed, which felt insane and right at the same time.

“You’re serious about getting rid of the guns?” I whispered.

“Never been more serious about anything in my life.” His hand circled my neck. “Well until recently.” He added.

My heart leapt at the statement but I needed to know. “How long will it take?”

Cade paused before answering. “Don’t know babe, been working my angle for a while now, making progress. But this shit moves slow, it’s hard to get these men to see some different way of life when this is all the now.”

“Ballpark.” I demanded.

Cade sighed. “A year, at the most. Things are already in motion.”

I contemplated this. Would Cade and I be together in a year? My heart told me yes, my head didn’t know what to think.

“Planning on you being in my life for a while Gwen, you will be around when the club turns legit.” He said firmly. “If you decide this doesn’t change anything. I want you, like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, I want to make sure every fucker in the world knows you’re my Old Lady, that no other asshole will touch you. I don’t want this shit with the club to taint you, to jeopardies us.”

“Old Lady?” I repeated quietly, knowing the meaning behind that term, the commitment it represented.

Cade brushed my hair back, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah Gwen.”

Wow, I thought it took a lot for biker men to commit, and Cade was slotting me in long term like it was just natural. I wanted to be in there, but I didn’t know if I could accept what the club was doing. The club was a part of him, and he wouldn’t leave it if I couldn’t deal. Could I handle this? I could hardly handle a couple of days without Cade, could I stand living in this this town, no doubt seeing him everywhere if I couldn’t get right with this? I was probably going to regret this decision, you’d think I’d know better with my past. But I didn’t.

“Those guns you sell, they kill people, innocent people.” I whispered.

Cade’s eyes were hard on me. “Don’t pull the trigger babe, people get killed with or without guns.”

“Guns make it a heck of a lot easier when ending someone’s life only takes a second.” I argued softly.

Cade ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. He roughly lifted me off him, jumping off the bed to pace the room. He turned back to me.

“Don’t think it doesn’t weigh on me Gwen, what those guns do to people, whose hands I put them into. I think about all the god damn time. FUCK!”

His voice ended on a yell, it was hard to watch, seeing this kind of emotion on my usually staunch man.

I didn’t say a word, conflicted emotions were stewing in the pit of my stomach.

“I may be involved in this shit now baby but I swear I’m going to get out. The club will never be squeaky clean, and I’m never going to put on a suit and chain myself for an office from nine to five. That’s not me. The club is in my blood, riding bikes it’s in my blood.” His voice radiated passion, his expression fierce, eyes not leaving mine.

“The club may be in muddy waters now, but I’m going to make sure the way I earn a living, the way I provide for my family doesn’t involve me being shot at, or facing a long stay in the state penitentiary.”

I sat at the edge of the bed, taking all of this in. And shit was this a lot to take in on a Monday morning after we had just made up and I was still nursing a hangover.

Cade knelt before me, hand at my neck. “Like I said babe, this has been brewing for awhile, but the moment I saw you, hands full of bags, all class, down to your fucking shoes. I knew.”

I looked at him intently. “Knew what?”

“That I had to get out of the guns, get out of that life, get away from the bitterness that I tasted on my tongue. So I could have sweet.”

Shit. What do you say to that? My forehead pressed against Cade’s.

“A year.” I whispered, that’s what I would wait.

Cade’s eyes flared in surprise, and his whole body seemed to relax.

“I can’t be in the dark about what you do in your life Cade. I know there are Old Ladies that know nothing and like it that way. I also know its an all or nothing kind of gig.”

I had so many other things I want to say, what happened if he went to prison? What if he got killed? What kind of accessory did that make me? Knowing what the club does and doing nothing about it. A year was a long time to have to deal. But the way Cade was looking at me know, what I felt when he touched me, when he spoke beautiful words in his gruff tone, I had to at least try, or I would be wondering for the rest of my life.

Cade sighed. “I know baby. I won’t tell you anything that would even get you close to danger. You get the bare minimum, I don’t like the thought of one ounce of that shit tainting you. But I won’t lie to you.” He promised, and I knew he meant it.

“Okay.” I said quietly. Sure about my decision to stay with Cade, but scared about the live I had just agreed to.

Cade pulled me into his lap, kissing me so intensely that I felt like I was being branded down to my soul.

“Babe what you know, what I feel for you, you’re in deep. You are mine, no one touches you, no one puts you in any kind of danger now.”

He kept a firm grip on the back of my neck before repeating. “Mine.”

Even in this somewhat intense moment, the feminist in me felt kind of pissed the way he kept referring to me as ‘his’ like some kind of kid who and a new toy. I opened my mouth to tell him to tone down the macho man bullshit, but another angry female bet me to it.

“FUCK YOU!” I heard Amy yell, and the sound of her door being thrust open.

“Get out of my house this instant before I call the police and inform them some biker ASSHOLE is trying to rob me.” Amy screeched dramatically.

I scrambled out of Cade’s lap to run to the door so I could witness what sounded like a lovers spat, which I had seen a lot of throughout my years with Amy, and they were always entertaining. It must’ve been Brock she had out there, I was desperate to get the lowdown on that situation. I reached the door attempting to open it but Cade blocked my exit and the front row ticket to the show. I scowled up at him. Damn macho superspeed.

He regarded me like I was a naughty child, shaking his head. I poked my tongue out at him to reaffirm this belief.

“Calm the fuck down babe.” I heard Brock’s calm voice, almost entertained at Amy. “You don’t threaten to call the pigs on me, ever. Do it again and I’ll put you over my knee.” He sounded threatening and sexy all at the same time. Since Cade wouldn’t let the door budge, I stood there, trying to struggle with him, deducing I wouldn’t get anywhere, I settled for eavesdropping.

“UGHH I can’t believe I ever even considered letting such a Neanderthal, cocky, criminal, asshole into my bed. I won’t be making that mistake again. Now get. The. Fuck. Out.” Amy’s voice was pure ice.

There was a beat of silence, and I could almost feel the male fury.

“I can’t believe I bothered sticking my dick in some uppity snooty bitch, don’t worry sweetheart, won’t be coming near you again.” Brock yelled before stomping down the stairs and slamming the door behind him.

Whoa, I looked wide eyed at Cade. No guy had ever talked to Amy like that before, looks like she had met her match, and lost. I bet she was feeling pretty upset right now. I moved Cade’s hand gently off the door before reaching up on my toes and kissing his cheek.

“I have to go to her honey.” I told him softly.

Cade seized my hips, plastering my body against his and laid hot and heavy one on me.

“Yeah babe, got to go and sort a few things with Brock. Will be back soon to take my lady to breakfast.”

I looked at him, puzzled. “What do you have to sort with Brock?”

“I’ll tell you when I get back, go to your friend.” He kissed my nose before turning to get dressed. I got distracted by his muscled tatted body, full on perving at him. Cade caught me staring and gazed over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“Babe, Amy?”

“Right.” I whispered and turned back to the door, pulling my robe off the back then opening it. I heard Cade’s chuckle as I closed it behind me. I spotted Amy across the landing, standing in her nightgown, staring at the stairs, looking dazed. This must be bad, Amy wasn’t a girl to look ‘dazed’. I made it to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

“Sweetheart you okay?” I asked softly.

Her head snapped to me. “Yes I’m fine, Brock’s just an asshole.” She tried to sound blasé, but I knew my friend too well.

“You have been avoiding this subject around me for too long Amy.”

I directed her to the sitting room that we had between our bedrooms and sat her down on the sofa.

“I know that’s partly my fault for being so wrapped up in my own shit that I haven’t had the presence of mind to properly grill you.” I continued, voice firm. She was avoiding this subject no more. “ But you have my full attention and you aren’t leaving this room until I get some answers. Now spill.”

I watched her bite her lip, a suspicious wetness glimmering in her eyes before she let out a groan. “I’m in love with someone.” She declared.

My mouth dropped open and I closed it, then opened it again but I decided I had no words so I just managed to look like a fish out of water.

My shock was understandable. Amy didn’t do love. She had fun with men, none lasting longer than a month or two. She wasn’t one of those girls who pretended they didn’t care about men then secretly stalked them; she generally got bored easily and wasn’t interested in settling down. I suspected it had something to do with her parents and their relationship, but that was something she never talked about. After struggling with words for a while, I managed to choke out a question.

“Who? Brock?” I wondered if she was experiencing the same relationship on speed that I was.

An expression of panic crossed Amy’s face, but it was gone before I could question it.

“Of course not. Its someone back in New York, you don’t know him.” She said quickly. “He’s one of my brothers friends, travels all the time. You never met him. His name is Tom.”

“I need more information.” I was struggling with the thought that I had been so blind I hadn’t even realized my best friend was in love with someone. That made me an A class jerk. Amy looked uncomfortable but I gave her a look and she started to explain.

“Well when my brother first introduced us, I just felt it, I can’t explain it. There was an electricity between us.”

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

“I know he felt it to, he tried to keep away from me, but it didn’t work. We were like magnets. But he’s in the Air Force, hardly ever in the country. And when I say hardly ever I mean a couple of times a year. So he told me it would never work.”

She looked pained at this, I stroked her hair.

“Oh Ames.” I sighed, knowing to a degree what she would be feeling.