Man Without a Heart (4 page)

'Good night, my dear. . . .' Adam's voice was low as he spoke, when they were in the hall ready to go to their respective rooms. Jill knew a sudden dryness in her mouth, a racing in her heart. Adam was towering above her, his eyes fixed upon her upturned face, his mouth slightly open, accentuating the lower lip, strong and sensuous. The whole atmosphere seemed charged with tension; it created a powerful, mysterious spell which affected Jill's senses like a potent wine. She wanted to escape, and yet she wanted to prolong this magic interlude forever.

'I said good night,' her husband reminded her, his deep, accented voice edged with amusement. 'You're in a dream, Jill.' She frowned, but did not know why. His words had such a prosaic ring that she was brought rudely out of the spell. 'Good night, Adam,' she returned. 'Thank you for a lovely evening.'

'Thank you, my dear. I haven't had much time to spend with you up till now-nor will I have in the near future, as I'm very busy at present. However, we must do this again before very long.' He flicked a hand to indicate that she should precede him, and she moved, turning at her bedroom door and waiting breathlessly-for what? He smiled and went past her; she entered her room, closing her door only after hearing her husband close his.

Mrs. Doxaros obviously noticed it, and remarked that Jill was unusually quiet. 'Is Adam very busy in his study these days?' There was no mistaking the significance of the question, and Jill was quick to set the old lady's mind at rest. 'Yes, he is, rather, but I don't mind at all. He promised that it won't be for too long. In any case, he's always with me for dinner.'

'You're a sweet child, Jill,' said Mrs. Doxaros, reassured. 'I'm indeed blessed in my old age.' A sigh of contentment issued from the parched and colourless lips. 'I shall die happy, thanks to you, my dear daughter.'

'Don't talk about dying,' protested Jill, genuinely distressed. 'You're going to live a long while yet.' Jill reflected on this later, when, in her bedroom, she was changing for dinner.

At first the one overriding thought in her mind had been that this false position she was assuming would not last very long and soon she would be free to enjoy the money her husband had promised to give her at the termination of their marriage. But now ... A frown settled on her forehead suddenly. She was certainly not happy at the idea of the termination of the marriage. The admission staggered her, simply because she had entered into the contract without any emotion other than that of wanting to make Mrs. Doxaros happy while she lived. She had known that the situation she would be in was temporary and had accepted the divorce as a step nearer the reward which, at the time, she had regarded somewhat in the light of 'for services rendered.' Adam, open and forthright, had told her he was eventually to marry Julia, the girl who was the instrument by which his shipping line could merge with another, equally prosperous one. It was a cold and calculated business arrangement made some time ago by two ambitious men, with Julia apparently quite happy to play her own particular role, the vital link that would enable the deal to be closed.

Dejection spread into Jill's mind, and Adam, with his shrewd perception, said, as she entered the blue-and-gold salon where they usually sat with aperitifs before dinner, 'Is there something wrong, Jill?' Immaculate in an oyster-white suit of fine linen, he allowed his eyes to flicker over her lovely white-clad figure before fixing her with a penetrating stare. She shook her head, assuming a puzzled expression. 'No, of course not, Adam. What could be wrong?'

'You're not your usual bright self,' he stated. 'I'd like to know why.' There was a sort of authoritative essence in his manner, a clear demand in his tone. Jill found herself colouring, aware that he knew she was lying when she said there was nothing wrong. And yet, what was wrong? She searched her mind... and deliberately avoided an answer.

'I expect I'm a little tired,' she answered, hoping to convince him. 'I've probably been out in the sun too long as well.'

'I've warned you about that,' he returned admonishingly. 'You're beautifully tanned, so keep it that way. You'll peel if you're not careful.' He gave her a stern glance but said no more, merely going over to the cabinet and pouring her a drink. 'You look very lovely,' he said then, standing a short distance away, glass in hand, eyes flicking over her, taking in her dainty waist and the seductive curves of her breasts before moving to the gentle curve of her throat.

She smiled and said demurely, 'Thank you, Adam. I'm glad you like my dress.'

His lips curved in a smile of amusement. 'The dress is perfection, yes, but so is its wearer. You're an exquisitely beautiful woman, Jill ... the most beautiful I have ever met.' His manner hitherto had for the most part been casual, but on one or two occasions recently his way with her had changed. He adopted a rather proprietorial attitude and air of authority, which reminded her of the Greek tradition of male superiority, while at the same time she found herself experiencing a, little thrill of pleasure.

Now as he spoke there was a pronounced alteration in his voice from what it had been before. 'I'm very glad that your sister broke her promise and that I married you instead of her.' His tone seemed to be vibrant with meaning, and she stared at him, the glass unsteady in her hand. Was he beginning to care? Jill's pulses raced at the thought, and every nerve in her body quivered. If he should come to love her....

The question she had avoided answering a short while ago seeped through to her consciousness again, and this time an answer could not be avoided, simply because it was there already. She was in love with her husband, wildly, irrevocably in love with the man who had married her solely because of his deep love for his mother, the man who was already pledged to a woman with the power to double his wealth. She lowered her face, anxious to hide her expression from his perceptive gaze. If he should come to care, then all would be well, but if not-She cut into her thoughts before she could become tormented by them, and decided to talk about his mother, whom she had seen that afternoon. As she had hoped, Adam was immediately diverted, interested as always when Jill spoke of her visits to his mother. There was no doubt about his deep love for her, and Jill knew he would suffer unbearably when eventually she died. 'Mother's a different person since you came into her life,' he said softly, with a smile that set his wife's heart jerking. 'You've done her a world of good, and I thank you for it.' Sincerity was in his voice and in those dark and deep-set eyes. His smile still hovered, and Jill's body quivered at the attractiveness of him. He had half-turned, and she saw him in profile against the muted light from the amber-tinted wall lamp above his head. In outline she saw features of a classical firmness and arrogance which reminded her of those pagan Greeks from whom the modern race had sprung.

With Adam the pagan qualities seemed to be so pronounced that it had come as a shock to her when one day, on the beach, she saw the gold crucifix he wore on a chain round his neck. Many Greek men
wore them, but somehow a crucifix seemed incongruous when worn by her husband. Before Jill could make any response to what he had said, he was speaking again, suggesting that they take their drinks outside onto the patio, and Jill smilingly agreed. It was an intimate, flower-draped patio, saffron-shaded by the last dying rays of the sun. Flower perfumes filled the air, and from the sea the soft breeze stirred the silvery palm fronds silhouetted against the darkening sky.

Adam drew forth a chair for her and put her drink on the small rattan table. As they talked, the sun fell below the rim of the earth, and for a few indescribable moments the wispy cirrus
clouds were transformed to crimson lace floating in a sky of pink and mauve and pearly grey. Then, suddenly, night descended, a deep blue night, exciting and mysterious. All was still but for the mimosa-scented breeze, all silent but for the whisper of the leaves.

Caught in the magic that totally surrounded her, Jill felt a strange lump in her throat, and a yearning deep within her. She glanced at her husband from under her dark lashes, his features set and stern like the classical gods of old, inflexible as the stone from which they had been so deftly carved. Sensing her interest, he turned toward her, his eyes inscrutable as they roved once more over her lovely curves. 'Yes,' he murmured in a kind of pensive tone that made it appear he was talking to himself, 'you're the most beautiful woman I have ever known ... exquisitely beautiful....'

Jill coloured delicately, confusion sweeping over her. Shy and unsure of herself for the first time that she could remember, she sought vainly for some fitting response, but all that she produced was, 'I d-don't know wh-what to say
—
' And then she was drawing a long breath of sheer relief as one of the maids, Androula, appeared on the patio to say that dinner was ready.

'Thank you, Androula; we'll be in, in a few minutes.' Adam's dark eyes never left his wife's flushed face as he spoke, and when he rose from the chair they were still fixed, so that she lowered her head in the end; quite unable to meet the stare that seemed to be inscrutable even while a hint of mocking amusement lay in its depth. But as he rose, he took her hand to bring her up to her feet. The unexpected action quite naturally added to her confusion; she stumbled, was swiftly brought against him, and before she even guessed his intention, she felt the hard pressure of his lips on hers in a long and ardent kiss.

'Oh....' Every nerve quivered, every sense was alive to the attractiveness of him, to the contact of his hard and virile body masterfully forcing itself against hers.

She felt weak and helpless, clinging to the lapels of his coat for no reason at all. 'You ... shouldn't have d-done th-that. . . .'
Her colour deepened as she realised the ineffectiveness of a protest made as belatedly as this, her having offered no resistance when he kissed her
on the contrary, she rather thought she had reciprocated eagerly, parting her lips in obedience to the masterful demand made by his.

'Are you quite sure you are speaking the truth?' he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. 'Can you honestly deny that you wanted me to kiss you?'

Jill went hot all over at his keen
—
perception, for the question was in effect a statement-one which was perfectly true: she had wanted him to kiss her. But she resented his air of confidence, his amusement at her protest, and as a result she found anger welling up within her, and with it returned some measure of the self
-
confidence which had been an important part of her make-up since the death of her parents. Having freed herself from his arms, she looked up at him and said coldly, 'We made a pact, Adam, and you've broken it
—
'

'Broken it?' He slanted an eyebrow fractionally. 'By one kiss? My dear Jill, you're being childishly absurd. You enjoyed it as much as I. We're husband and wife, so
surely a kiss is permissible?'

She looked swiftly at him, her emotions all awry, as she convinced herself one moment that it was possible that he could come to care for her, while the next she was remanded of his pact with Julia, to whom he was betrothed in spite of his marriage to another girl. And betrothals in Greece were rarely broken.

'Adam,' she whispered, her eyes wide and bewildered, 'I don't understand you at all. What are you trying to say to me?' A frown was her only answer for a long uneasy moment before her husband spoke.

'I find you attractive, Jill, and it would appear that you feel the same way about me. As I've just said, we're husband and wife, so there is no reason why we should not enjoy what is ours by right.' He stopped, pausing as if carefully choosing his next words.

'We can live normally for the time you are here-if the idea appeals to you, that is?' She stared up at him. So casual his proposition-with no more emotion in his voice than if he had been remarking on the weather! Was this the approach he normally used? But no. He would have modified it owing to the fact that it was directed at the girl who was his wife! Jill had an almost irrepressible desire to laugh, and realised she was faintly hysterical, her mind unhinged momentarily by this unexpected turn of events. The feeling passed as swiftly as it came, and she was left drained, an ache in her heart
that was almost physical.

'The
idea. ..' Colour flooded her cheeks as she repeated the words he had used. 'If it appeals to-to me....' Tears filled her
eyes and she glanced away, toward the dark expanse of sea,
cloudy except for the flickering lights of a liner on the horizon.

'You want me f-for your pillow fri
end?' she added, after clearing
her throat of the hurtful little lump that had somehow lodged
itself there. 'Is that what you're offering me?'

Adam frowned again, then shrugged his shoulders carelessly. 'I
can't say I approve of my wife using that particular term,' he
said curtly, 'but yes, that is what it amounts to.'

Turning to meet his gaze, Jill not
iced that the finely sculptured
features were tensed, as if her answer were of vital importance
to their owner.

'You're so offhand about it,' she found herself saying. 'Does a situation like this mean so little to you?'

'I see no reason to become temperamental about it. After all, it's a situation that was almost bound to occur, wasn't it?'

'I don't agree.' Jill turned away, determined to hide her expression from him, because surely he would learn that she cared, should he look into her eyes at this moment.

'Come on, Jill,' he said in a chiding tone. 'You're not an innocent; you must have known that temptation would come to us both sometime or other.'

'I've never given it a thought, Adam. We made a bargain, and as far as I was concerned, it was made to be kept. You asked a favour of me and I accepted what, you offered in return for that favour. But now ...' She paused, looking up into his handsome face. 'Now you want to use me, simply because I happen to be here. It saves you going out and finding someone, doesn't it?' The bitterness in her voice seemed to have escaped him, and she was glad, for it might have provided him with a clue as to her feelings for him.

'I am not intending to use you,' he denied, his voice brusque and tinged with anger. 'You're my wife, Jill, and a man cannot be accused of using his wife!'

Her heart jerked as a strange fear swept into her. For there was something about him that frightened her, a sort of subtle threat in his words, a challenge in his eyes. That he desired her went without question, and she ought to have foreseen this situation when, a few minutes previously, he had remarked-not once, but twice-on her beauty. He was all Greek, possessing the Greek male's appreciative eyes where women were concerned, and invariably admiration for beauty led to the desire to taste that beauty to the full.