Manage Me (Toven's Circus #1) (26 page)

It’s time.

I jog off stage to Nell. She has her violin and bow in one hand, a double shot of Jack in the other, so much for thinking she wasn’t stressing. Finn stands at her side drinking from the bottle. I know that fucker isn’t suffering from nerves but push it aside for now. We will figure out drying Finn out after the tour is over.

“You ready, Beauty?” I shoot her a grin. I can’t wait to play with her, to share this moment with her. 

She inhales a deep breath and nods. I grab her neck and seal my lips to hers, immediately feeling the tension leave her body.

“I love you and you are fucking awesome no matter what.” I mumble against her lips before deepening the kiss. When we finally pull apart the crowd is chanting for our return. I grab her hand and we walk out on stage to our places at the front of the stage between Ashton and Ryker. They both sit on stools with acoustic guitars in their arms. Finn sits with a percussion shaker on a speaker in front of us. Nell and I will stand side by side so she is surrounded by those she feels most comfortable with.

“SEEEATTLE!” I yell into the mic, making the crowd go wild for several minutes before I can continue. “We have something new we have been working on the last few days and wanted to share it here with you first. Are you guys down with that?” More yelling and screaming commences. I don’t introduce Nell, as we decided during rehearsal that she would rather remain nameless, “in case she vomits all over us”, her words not mine. Technically she would be just paying me back for that night after Pinks.

We open with an old song called Raven, from our first album. It’s a fan favorite and we thought they would like the new hauntingly creepy vibe we created for it. When Nell’s part is coming up, I send her a reassuring smile and she jumps right in on time. Lighters and cell phones start popping up and swaying along as the crowd sings along with me. The voices and instruments echoing off the canyon walls adding to the unforgettably malevolent vibe swirling around as the sun sets on the day.

At the end of Raven, a huge full watt smile breaks out on Nell’s face. One song was all it took, she loves it up here and I will make it my life’s mission to keep that smile on her face.

“You may be wondering who this foxy, talented as fuck violinist is? This is Nell Craven, by day she is our Tour Manager but by niiight…she is the newest member of Toven’s Circus.” Nell’s jaw drops and a frown creases her forehead. Yup, figured that might piss her off a little. Ashton, Ryker, and Finn each stand to give her a big hug. We had discussed this a couple days ago, deciding we would know for sure after she played. “What do you guys think, should we keep her?” I ask the crowd, who are losing their shit with excitement.

While we wait for them to all calm down, I take my turn to hug Nell. I wrap her up tight in my arms and she nuzzles into her spot in my chest. “You were incredible, Beauty. I am so proud of you.” Pulling back from me, her lips crash into mine. Everything fades away including the 10,000 people that are screaming around us. I never knew anyone could or would mean so much. This beautiful talented smart woman has inhabited my heart eternally.

I vaguely register something hitting my arm, then a yank to my hair pulls my lips from Nell’s causing me to release a feral growl. “Knock it off, Assholes we’re on stage.” Whisper shouts Ashton.   

“Oh shit, later” I send a wink to Nell and turn back to the mic. “Uh… Sorry about that, I can’t keep my hands off her talented ass.” I chuckle in to the mic. “So this is a new song I wrote, called ‘Her Song’, I hope you like it.”

And they do, the whole place goes crazy and by the second chorus they are singing it with me. My woman and my side and my music being heard, I don’t think I have ever been in a happier place.

Nell leaves the stage at the end of the acoustic set and we play through the rest of the show before doing our encores and escaping backstage.

Nell is nowhere in sight, I ask every roadie and security guard that I pass but no one has seen her.

Finally, while wandering around, I see her standing on the edge of the Gorge cliff looking out over enormous canyon that lays before us. The sun has long since set but the moon is bight in the cloudless sky and shimmers against her nearly white hair. She looks angelic, standing as still as a statue, just lost in her thoughts. I wonder if I should just leave her to her thought. We are all so crammed in together that it’s nice to take the time to yourself but I need to know that she is okay with the idea of being in the band. We need to talk about what happened the other day. I have been waiting for her to bring it up but since she hasn’t, I have let her avoid it for the weekend, but I feel that it has been long enough. We need to talk and we need to talk it out now.

She leans into me as I wrap my arms around her. “Hey Beauty, I was looking everywhere for you. You okay?”

“Sorry, I just wanted some space.” She says rubbing her soft hands along my forearms. “You should have asked me first, Jaden.”

Her tone is distant and fear hits my stomach. I know she hates performing but after tonight she had to have fallen in love with it. “Are you saying you didn’t love it up there? That you don’t want to be in the band and share the stage with us every night?”

“You really meant all that?” She asks surprise now clear in her voice.

“Of course I did. The band talked a couple days ago. We agreed that if you made it through the first acoustic set that we were going to ask you. I could tell by your grin after the first song that you were in love with it. That you were made to be part of Toven’s Circus, a part of us, and a part of me. And I want to share that, this, with you every time we get on stage for as long as the fans still want us.” I rub my cheek against her soft hair. “Do you want this with us, Nell?”

She turns in my arms, grabbing my face for once, tears catching the light on her cheeks as she says, “I’ve only every wanted to be a part of a family. A family that was more than just the front for the press. I very much want to be a part of this crazy Toven’s Circus family.”  I tighten my hold on her, pressing my lips to hers, and swinging her around.

Chapter 35

Nell

Tonight has been like a dream that I wasn’t even aware I wanted. Playing with the band is more incredible every time we sit down together but tonight was magic. Playing with Jaden is so intense, so deep. It’s like we become one through the music, connecting on a completely different plan of existence. The plane I have only ever reached through my music, is now shared with Jaden. Ryker, Ashton, and Finn are there but are muted shadows providing the melody that surrounds us. Today has been a wonderful day.

We make our way into the meet and greet tent, where the band will hang out with some fans, take pictures and sign things. Women dressed in barely-there clothes are littered about everywhere, hoping to get a taste of the guys. There are big burley biker dudes, young metal heads, and even a gaggle or two of teenagers, all lined up to meet their idols. I stand behind the long table that seats the band just watching the show of people. I love watching the real fans that come up and gush over them. The ones that are in complete awe that they are getting to meet their idols. The young girls that are struck speechless. The young men who babble incessantly about wanting to be just like them. These people are the ones that make fame worth it. Sharing these moments with them are special.

I smile, enjoying myself, when a bouncy barely clothed girl pops up to Jaden and drops her top exposing her breast right in his face. Jaden’s eyes don’t waver from her face though. He reaches out with his pen, signing his name quickly without touching her skin with his own or even acknowledging that her boobs are out at all. The girl heads off with a pout and Jaden moves onto the next fan. I am not shocked by the girl’s action, I know girls will do anything to get their attention, to get in their pants. I’m happy with Jaden’s response, the girl may be a little butthurt that he didn’t just fall into her rack but they won’t lose a fan over it either.

A pre-teen makes her way through the line with her father in tow but instead of heading out like the rest of the fans she makes her way over to me.   

“Hi, you were the violin player right? The new member of Toven’s?” she asks confidently.

“Um…yes. It was a bit of a surprise for everyone tonight, including myself.” I say with a chuckle.

“I think it’s so awesome. I‘ve been playing violin for 5 years. I would love to play in a rock band like Toven’s someday. When did you start playing? Have you always played rock music? Can I have your autograph, too?”

“Wow, really? You want my autograph? I mean, yes, of course.” I sign her poster along with everyone else’s and answer all of her questions. Her dad is very nice, too and peppers me with questions about how to help his daughter get the best teaching possible to make her dreams come true. When they leave I am so damn happy and never want the night to end, Jaden better be ready because he is going to get majorly laid tonight, I plan to climb my man like a tree, sit on his face, and then do dirty, dirty things to his body until dawn.

Chapter 36

Jaden

My woman is on cloud nine and it makes my heart quiver with love in my chest. The second we are out of the tent I swoop her up into my arms, planting my lips against hers.

“You are so fucking beautiful but especially tonight, on stage and after. Light is radiating from your every pore and it takes my breath away. I hope you aren’t tired.” I murmur my way along her jaw.

“I was hoping the same thing about you. I’ve big plans for you tonight.”

“Good.” I growl before demolishing her mouth once more.

We make our way towards the bus but end up getting distracted in a private dark corner behind a power building. I need to feel her, I need to have her taste in my mouth. Pushing her up against the cooling brick building, we devour each other’s mouths. Our hands grabbing and bruising as we both seek as much contact as possible. I tug the bottom of her shirt up, exposing her front. She grabs my hair directing my mouth to her covered nipples that I quickly expose by yanking her breasts out of the bra pockets. She moans deep when my hot wet tongue meets her sweet tightened flesh. Using my teeth, I drag them over the tip then roughly nip before sucking it hard with my lips and lapping it gently with my tongue.

“Oh my God! Jaden, fuck!” Nell pants and tries to squirm around but I use my body to hold her in place. I work my other hand down the front of her shorts, undoing the button and zipper, reaching into her panties. The heat between her thighs in like an inferno nearly burning my fingers, but I keeps going into the saturated heat. I rub a couple fingers around her swollen clit, wanting to suck it into my mouth and taste her nectar. Her body tightens almost instantly but I want her cum on my face, so I draw back.

“Damn it, Jaden, please don’t stop.” She mews as she moves her hips around trying to get my fingers back to where she needs them.  Instead I pull my hand out and she growls at me. “Fucker, I said don’t stop.”

I can’t help but grin, I fucking love it when she gets so turned on, she is aggressive for me. I turn her around pressing her face against the brick.

“Don’t fucking move, Beauty.” I growl in her ear and yank her shorts and panties off her ass to her knees. I adjust her so she is bent forward, face still against the brick, legs spread as far as the jeans will allow, her soft pale ass ready for the taking. I give a cheek a good smack, enjoying seeing her skin jiggle and seeing my handprint appear.

“Tonight, I will take your ass for the first time.” I punctuate my statement with another smack causing her to let out a moan.