Manage Me (Toven's Circus #1) (33 page)

She rocks me in her arms until the nurse’s come in and try to give me something more for the pain, something that will knock me out again, but I refuse. I need to be lucid and out of this bed, to go visit my woman.

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Two days, its takes me two mother fucking days to get out of that bed and into a chair so I can go see my Beauty. I’ve been a nightmare to deal with but I won’t apologize, they won’t let me see her. They just cluck their tongue like I’m some insulant child asking for a fucking cookie.

So by day two, I enlist Jax’s help to score me a wheelchair and help me into it. No one else was willing to and I may have told him I would buy him a car for helping. He even helps sneak me out of the room and down the hall into Beauty’s.

I wasn’t prepared to see her pale and covered in tubs, laying on her back completely still, I breakdown, grabbing her small hand up in mine.

Beep, beep, beep, beep…there’s that fucking sound again, but this time I really am grateful for it, this time it means she’s alive.

“Fuck Beauty, please wake up. I need you to wake up for me. I know it’s selfish but what would I do without you? I can’t live without you. Please Beauty, please come back to me.” I murmur into the palm of her hand. “We still have so much life to live together. I have big plans to get you to marry me and after all this, I think that time table of yours needs to be reevaluated and moved up. With the tour canceled, I think we should all go to Bali early and get married on a beach. Not all of us, just you and me. And you can wear that little red bikini for me.” I start to babble towards the end but she won’t care. When one of the machines on the other side of the bed starts to whirl awake, I get concerned, a shifting under the blanket starts and another beeping starts. This one is faster than the other, more like the beat of a rock song. When no alarms go off or nurses come racing in, I relax again.

“Holy fuck Beauty, you’re pregnant.” I say to the silent room. And all at once, my heart fills with utter excitement and happiness and dread all in one swoop. I rest my hand across her small stomach, rubbing it, as tears streak down my face. I could lose them both. “Fuck Beauty, you need to fight. Fight with everything inside of you, fight for us, fight for our little bean growing inside you, fight damn it.” I growl and dropping my head into my hands.

I must have fallen asleep for a while because when I wake up its dark outside and the room is mostly dark. I’m glad the nurses left me, they probably wanted to take me back to my room. My body aches everywhere, the places I got shot throbbing. Just lifting my head causes me to moan in pain.

“You always were stubborn.” Comes a voice from across the room and I jump, giving a yelp at the pain it causes.

“Damn it Dad, a little warning next time, yeah?”

“You should go back to your room, Son. You need to heal so you can be strong for her when she wakes up.” He states.

“I needed to be near her. I needed her to know that I made it. That I am here and that she needs to fight.” I protest and he just nods. “Why didn’t anyone tell me about the baby?” I ask watching the surprise register on his face.

“We wanted you to rest so you didn’t hurt yourself further. We knew nothing would have stopped you from jumping out of that bed once you found out about the baby.” He states and I just nod because he’s right, nothing would have kept me from them.

“I’m going to marry her.” I tell him, I’m not entirely sure why, I know he wouldn’t care if we got married or not, but I just want to keep talking. “I love her, I love them both so much. I never knew love could be like this, I can’t lose them, Dad.” I say looking down at my hands threaded around Nell’s.

I feel arms come around my shoulders and I lean into them. My Dad and I have always been close but he hasn’t held me while I cried since I was a child. “Come on, J, let’s get you back to bed so you can get some rest. You can come back when you’re ready.” He says moving behind the chair as I kiss my goodbyes to Nell’s hand.

He wheels me towards the door but I hear something, it sounded like a moan coming from Beauty.

“Stop! I heard her, turn me around, she waking up.”

“Jaden I didn’t hear anything, it’s just wishful thinking. Come on, your exhausted.” But just as he stops talking, I hear it again and if the gasp he lets out is anything to go on, so did he.

We rush back over to Nell’s bedside, both scooping up a hand in our own.

“Beauty, can you hear me? Baby, make a noise or squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” I say and wait, seconds pass like hours but ever so softly her hand moves in my own. A grin breaks out on my face as I look at my Dad, who is smiling back. He hits the nurses call button, and we keep talking to her as they run in and start checking her vitals.

She’s here, she made it back to me.

Chapter 47

3 Months Later

Nell

Turns out getting grazed in the head by a bullet, and your boyfriend taking four bullets into his back and leg, really puts a damper on beach trips to Bali, but we finally made it.

Life was crazy for a while after the shooting. Ryan, our sound tech, was standing outside having a cigarette when the shooting occurred. He saw Emily get out of her car and start walking towards us. When she drew the gun and started firing, he took off towards her tackling her to the ground but not before she pulled the trigger four times.  He held on to her the whole time until the cops got there. She is now awaiting trial, with three counts for attempted murder hanging over her head, the baby counts despite not knowing about it at the time.

Jaden’s injuries and his refusal to stay down is making his recovery go slower than it needs to but the man is stubborn. The bullet that hit his right shoulder, tore through the trapezoid muscles and cracked his scapula. An injury that they couldn’t do a whole lot for, but the doctor threatened to put him in a full body cast if he didn’t stop getting out of bed. Another bullet landed in his left side, damaging his left kidney so bad that it had to be removed, it also punched a hole his intestine, which despite everyone’s best efforts, caused a bad infection. The third landed in the outside femur muscle of his right leg. He lost a lot of blood and had to have several transfusions. His body was broken and it was a miracle he was alive.

The last bullet fired is the one that hit me. It was shot as Ryan tackled Emily to the ground, so it went wide, hitting the car doors metal frame, and ricocheting off to hit me. The full bullet didn’t hit me, as I am told the bullet broke apart on impact, but a fragment lodged itself in the base of my temporal bone of my skull, just narrowly missing my C1 vertebrae. The impact caused small fissures and swelling of the brain. The doctors put me in an induced coma in hopes to keep the swelling down, but when everything was looking better and they went to pull me out, I just didn’t wake up. I don’t remember any of this, just the darkness but eventually remember hearing Jaden’s voice talking to his Dad. It was his voice that pulled me back to the surface, pulled me back to him.

Now we sit in paradise, surrounded by sand, crystal blue water, and sunshine. Jaden is laying on the lounger beside me as we stretch out under in the shade of an umbrella. He has on a pair of white board shorts and sunglasses. Nothing else but a pink e-reader in his hand, which he stole from me so he could read the Death Dwellers MC books, his other arm thrown up under his head. My eyes scan across his sun kissed torso, the muscle still solid and deeply defined, despite the last few months of light workouts. I suck in my bottom lip, desire for him stirring to the surface.

“Can I help you, Beauty?” He asks with a smirk not taking his eyes from the screen.

“You stole my e-reader and now I have nothing else to do but gawk at the men on the beach.” I rib him and he sets down the e-reader to glare at me.

“The only man you should be gawking at is my cock.” He sneers.

“That cock?” I ask pointing to his junk.

“This fucking cock.” He says grabbing the growing bulge in his shorts and I lick my lips wanting to taste him.

“I have a surprise for that cock…If he’s up for it.” I barely finish the sentence before he is springing up.

“Jaden, NO your shoulder!” I yell as he bends to pick me up. He growls in frustration, grabbing my hand instead and pulling me to my feet.

“Jaden my e-reader!” I squawk as he’s dragging me away towards the hotel, leaving all of our stuff behind.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He bites out, still pulling me behind him.

“But all my books.” I whine, I can’t help it, I have an unhealthy attachment to my books.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He says dropping my hand and stomping back to rescue my e-reader. And that is real love, a man willing postpone sex to rescue his woman’s books.

“You own me a blow job for that.” He says when he gets back to me handing my e-reader to me.

“Deal, it can go with your surprise.” I say grinning.

“Fucking perfect, let’s go.” Grinning, he sweeps my legs out from under me and into his arms causing me to let out a surprised squeak.

“Jaden, damn it! No, you’re going to fuck up your shoulder.” I yell trying to squirm out of his hold.

“Too bad, you waddle too slowly now and I am in a hurry to fuck you.” He says taking off at a hurried pace into the hotel.

“What? I don’t fucking waddle yet, you Asshole! I’m only 3 months in and I barley even have a bump. There is no reason I would be waddling yet.” I shriek at him while he laughs entering the elevator.

“No, Beauty, you don’t waddle. I was just fucking with you and trying to get you to sit still.” He says nuzzling into my neck. “You’re fucking beautiful though, you glow from the inside out. And it does crazy weird cavemen like things to me to think that you are carrying my child inside of you. That I put that life in you and it’s a part of both of us.” He says setting me down, trying to hide the wince, but I see it.

“I love you, you stubborn man.” I say grabbing his face up in my hands.

“Did you ever think, 3 months ago, you would be standing in an elevator with me again, pregnant with my child, telling me you love me?” he asks with a megawatt smile stretched across his face.

“Never,” I say without hesitating, “But then, I never allowed myself to dream so big.” His lips crush down on mine and he pushes me up against the wall devouring me until the bell dings and the doors open to our floor. Where he tugs me out behind him to our suite.

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My nerves begin to shake but I am excited, too. I made sure that it was okay with the doctor and she told me all I needed to do to prepare, so I brought everything with us in my suitcase. We get inside our room and Jaden is ready to go but I need to get ready.

I kiss him deep but maneuver him over to a chair facing the bedroom door and push him down into it.

“I need to go to the bathroom for a minute. I have to get your surprise ready.” I say and saunter out of the room.

In the bedroom, I grab everything we will need. The bra and pantie set I found is elegant and beautiful with intricate gothic lace along the hips, attaching the deep red satin cover on the front and back. The bra is the same and match, deep red satin with a black lace overlay. The black stocking’s reach mid-thigh and have the same gothic lace pattern around the top and in a line down the back. On my feet are a pair of patent leather black Louboutin’s. Dressed, I need to set up the ’Props’ for the evening.  I set one bottle of lube by the bed and then grab up the small purple velvet bag to take out into the sitting area with me.