Manage Me (Toven's Circus #1) (5 page)

Damn it, why do I keep losing my head the second he is near me. Not less than ten minutes ago he was being a total asshole to me and then he flashes those pretty green eyes at me and I turn into a fucking puddle. This back and forth game is bullshit and I won’t let him treat me like shit just so he can get his rocks off then throw me away. Now, if my treacherous body would just stop taking over whenever he gets near me, things would be a lot easier. 

Chapter 8

Jaden

She was going to drive me fucking insane. How the hell was I supposed to keep my hands off her for the next three months? Especially when sitting there looking all sweet and scared. I usually run away from the innocent ones. They became too attached, too needy, too fucking complicated. I need a distraction.

I walk up to the front of the bus and sit down in one of the captains’ chairs. Occupying the couch, Finn and Ashton are battling it out on the ice in the newest NHL game. Ryker occupies the other chair and is messing with his phone. Glancing up he smirks, making my next thought, oh fucking hell...

"New chick’s fucking hot, eh?"

"What, are you from fucking Canada all of a sudden?" My weak attempt of deflecting only earns me a bigger smirk. "What do you have planned for tomorrow night?"

"Probably get shit faced and pass out on the bus. Not like I am going to visit Hitler." Referring to his father.

"Wanna hit Pink's?"

"Fuck yeah! You guys in?" He asks Ashton and Finn.

"Don’t ask stupid questions, of course we are in.” Finn says.

“No, “we” aren’t, I have date.” Ashton says.

“What! A date with who?” Finn’s cheeriness is now gone.

“One of the guys from Tiger.” Tiger is opening for us on the tour.

“Fuck no, those guys are douche bags! We are going to Pink’s.” He barks and Ashton just rolls her eyes. Not fighting him at all because no one will ever come between the two of them in Ashton’s eyes.

“GOAL!” She yells and jumps up dancing, rubbing it in Finn’s face, while he just pouts at her. Someday the dude was going to wake up and realize how great she is and hate himself for being stupid for so long. Hopefully she would still be waiting, I wouldn’t blame her for moving on.

Just then, Nell heads out of the back of the bus, twisting her hands together, she clears her throat to get everyone's attention.

"Uh, so I have a couple suggestions/ideas to run past you guys, if you could give me a few minutes." Ashton pauses the game and everyone directs their attention towards Nell.

"I know the band is very private, you rarely give interviews or do public appearances but I was thinking, what if we hired someone that we could trust to film and take pictures during the tour. We could have interviews with the band, full live footage of the concert, and just general backstage cli…"

"No.” I cut in, “First, how do you plan to find someone we can trust? Second, and I speak for everyone, our private lives are private, end of story." I say irritated.

"I understand your concerns, however I have someone you can trust. And you will have full control and final say over what gets put into the video. Her purpose isn't to follow you into the bathroom or even go talk to your families. That it more than what I was thinking. I believe that the fans would really like to see your personalities. See how you joke around with each other, hear about how you got started in music, and how you guys met, etc. We can figure the semantics over the next couple weeks. Part of Toven's Circus draw is the mystery and we don't want to lose that, just add a little peek inside, and leave them wanting more."

"I guess you're not as dumb as Jaden implied you were." Ryker and his shit eating grin announces and I punch him in the arm, hard.

"Sorry about him. He’s a misogynist." I give her my most innocent look, laughing when she shakes her head, like she already knows I haven't been innocent a day in my life.

"Okay children, can we get back on point?" Finn laughs and gets up to get a beer from the fridge.

"So the person I am talking about is Gemma Oswald. She graduated from UC Berkeley with a BA in photography. She minored in videography. She is flying into Portland Saturday evening and will be backstage before the show. I was thinking the band could talk about it and meet her. Then let me know what you think. I was thinking, even if you choose to say no, that she should shoot the show on Saturday. It's a hometown show, and the fans are going to be insane. She has to fly out the next morning but she will leave whatever she shoots behind for the band to look over and decide or just keep, so you have it as a keep sake of your glory days. You’re not going to be young forever you know." She jokes.

I look around making eye contact with each person, silently they give me their opinion. I finally face her and nod, saying, "We will give it a shot but a contract will need to be written up and a gag order implemented."

"Of course. We can get the labels lawyers on it right away." A huge smile breaks out on her face. “Now the second idea, when I was 14, I was at a Green Day concert,”

“Green Day, really?” Finn groans, “There is no hope for you.”

“Don’t be a dick, I was 14 and at least it wasn’t Backstreet Boys or N’Sync.” She laughs before continuing, “Anyway, they are one of the greatest shows I have ever been to” A collective scoffing sounds around the room and she just rolls her eyes continuing. “At one point they turned the house lights on and asked the crowd if there were any guitar players in the audience that knew how to play ‘Basket Case.’ Several people raised their hands and they pulled this kid that was about 17 up on the stage. They proceeded to do this with drums, bass, and then a singer. Those four people, mostly kids, proceeded to perform ‘Basket Case’ in front of 10,000 screaming fan alongside three legends in the music world.” She stops, her arms are open wide a huge smile on her face, like she just delivered gold at our feet.

“Annnnd?” Finn asks.

“And!? Really, now who is hopeless? It was fucking incredible! The greatest moment for those four peoples that they will never forget and neither will those 10,000 fans that were a part of it.”

“Annnd you want us to do this?” asks Ryker completely confused.

“I think it’s an epic idea.” Ashton says with a big grin. ”How fucking awesome would that have been for one of us when we were young? I would love to do that for our fans.” She turns to me, hope written all over her face. Once again I look to Finn and Ryker for their opinion, they both look unsure, so I know I will need to add my weight.

“I think it’s a great idea, too. It’s something for the fans, something they don’t have to pay extra for because the label wants their cut, something just for them, from us.” This gets the two of them grinning and nodding.

“Okay, we are in, Beauty, start making plans with the sound tech and get it added to the set list. Great idea.” I say sending her a wink and her cheeks flush before she turns to escape.

She starts to head back towards the bunks when Ryker opened his fucking mouth, "Hey Nell, do you have plans for tomorrow night? Jaden and I are going to go hang out, you're more than welcome to join us."  Ryker visibly flinches in pain as I kick him under the table.

She smiles sweetly at Ryker, "Oh, I’d love to." Then spins around and walks away. My head slams down on the table, my hands running through my hair pulling hard, and Ryker laughs.

"Don't act so distraught. If you really didn't want her to come, you wouldn’t have told her where we were going." Fuck, I have no come back for that, so leaving my head still resting on the table, I just flip him off with both hands.

Chapter 9

Nell

We pulled into Portland just after 10:30pm and the band all piled off to head to their family’s houses. Jaden tries hard to get me to go with him and Ryker to his parents’ house, but I tell them I have a lot of work that I need to do. Really, I know I won’t be getting alone time for the next 88 days and I just want them out of my hair.

I spend the evening curled up with a beer and my favorite men from the Death Dwellers MC, a series written by my favorite author, Kathryn Kelly. The men in the series are sexy, dirty talking, alphas; who spend the next few hours filling my head with romance and love only found in love stories. But I fall asleep dreaming of Jaden.

His rough scruff brushes below my jaw sending shivers through me and a moan escapes past my lips. The soft tip of his nose sweeps up just below my ear where he lays a soft kiss. His plump lips brushing the bottom lobe before opening to nibble gently. I gasp when his spicy scent fills my head, I awaken with a jump, realizing that I am cradled in his arms being lifted into my bunk. Looking down at myself, I notice I am only in my underwear,

“Where are my clothes?” I mumble. Was I dreaming all that or was he really nuzzling my neck? I want to ask, but then if I do, and he wasn’t, I will be admitting to dreaming about him and I can’t do that.

“I wanted you to be comfortable, so I helped you out of them before laying you down.”  Jaden says.

“Jaden, I was comfortable, I was wearing my pajama pants and a tank top.”

“Oh well you looked uncomfortable and warm, so I helped.” He says with a winning smile and I can’t help but laugh.

“You are such a creeper. It’s a good thing you’re hot.” Says my sleepy self.

“You think I’m hot, huh?” There’s that smirk that makes me want to bite him all over, fuck I am tired and need to go to sleep.

“You’re built like fucking Hercules and I am pretty sure we have established that I am neither blind nor stupid. Now, your ego has been thoroughly stroked and you got to perv out, getting to undress me and stare at me in my underwear for the last ten minutes, so are you good, can we go to sleep?”

“We can if you would scoot your hot ass over.”

“What? I am not scooting over, this is my bunk! Yours is over there.” I screech, stretching out trying to take up as much room as possible.

“Fine.” But instead of turning and going to his bunk, he hops up into mine, laying himself directly on top of me. He nuzzles his face into my neck, one hand curls up in my hair, while the other starts to drift down along my rib cage. His body is heavy but it’s not crushing and even if he was I wouldn’t want him to move. My mind is yelling at me to push him away. He was an asshole and now is trying to get in my pants but he feels so right laying on me like this. He smells so damn good, too, like cider, tobacco, oranges, and sage. The notes blending together to make up a manly spicy scent that makes my body ache.

“Are you okay? You’re very quiet, I expected you to fight me or something. Frankly, I was hoping you would, so I could accidentally grab your boobs.” He says into my neck with a chuckle.

“Why does it need to be an accident?” I purr into his ear, my mouth thinking faster than my brain, its clearly in cahoots with the rest of my body.  His head pops up so fast, he smacks it on the ceiling of the bus. Using the distraction, I arch my body and shove him, attempting to knock him out of my bunk. But he latches onto me and we both careen to the floor. Jaden keeps his arms tight around me and lands on his back absorbing the impact and protecting me, but effectively knocking the wind out of himself.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” I ask as he gasps and wheezes, gulping for air like he is dying. “What do I do? How do I help?” I’m freaking out thinking I just killed him. He points to his mouth, then to mine. “You need mouth to mouth?” I ask skeptically, player thinks he’s smooth. Sitting up I plant both of my knees on the floor straddling his stomach. I lean over him, watching as he still gasps for air but his hands slithers up my bare legs.