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Authors: Ian M. Dudley

Tags: #mystery, #humor, #sci-fi, #satire, #science fiction, #thriller

Marlowe and the Spacewoman (29 page)

BOOK: Marlowe and the Spacewoman
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Jebediah stamped impatiently.  “What about the elevators?  We could just take those.”

“We’re trying to avoid people as much as possible, remember?”

“Hey, guys, I can learn this.  Really.”

Within five minutes, Nina had mastered the stairs well enough to avoid drawing attention.  During the whole teaching period, Marlowe kept wishing he had his PDI running so he could record her attempts.  If they survived this crazy mission, it would be worth a good laugh to review.

They had ascended twenty six flights before Marlowe stopped their progress with a touch to Nina’s arm.  The wall of the landing they had reached had the number ‘-11’ stenciled on it.  Thanks to the SpringSteps, they were barely winded.  Except for Nina, who for the first time displayed faint signs of fatigue.

Marlowe cleared his throat to deliver the little pep talk he’d been working on during their sojourn on the stairs.  “OK, this is the floor where ‘my’ office resides.  We’re bound to encounter a lot of people, so remember to stay calm and walk with angry confidence.  Think ‘GRRRR’ every time you pass someone.  It’ll keep you in good stead.”

The corridor they found themselves in had two elevators on one side, with gold-tinted reflective doors, plush, midnight blue carpeting covering the floor, and white marble walls with red and purple veins.  The cathedral ceilings curved over them with ornately decorated friezes and frescoes portraying Obedere, wearing a Roman toga and with a sword in hand, battling dragons labeled ‘Chaos’, ‘Sedition’, and ‘Independent Thinker’.  Nina gasped at the sheer spectacle.

“Welcome,” said Jebediah expansively, “to middle management.  If you wait long enough, the ceiling art changes.  It’s all fairly old liquid plasma display technology, though you predate that, Nina.  Takes a monstrous amount of computing power to maintain all of them, since every floor above -10 has something like this.  They get grander as you move up.  Starting at level +2, the walls and floor get involved in the display as well.”

They encountered a number of different officers as they walked, but their lack of name tags and the clipboards they clutched so purposefully prevented any problems.  After ten minutes of weaving down corridors, punctuated by stops to pull out the map and consult it, they finally reached the office they were seeking.

A melon-sized prune crowned with a tuft of blue mold and propped on the neck of a sky blue uniform sat at a desk by the door they sought.  Marlowe almost jumped when two dark spots evenly spaced on the prune swiveled towards him and an opening below the two spots started moving.

“Can I help you?”

Marlowe looked down at his map, then up at the number stenciled on the door.  It was the right door.

Jebediah stepped in.  “Who are you?”

The blue-haired prune arose indignantly.  “I am the administrative assistant to Assistant Director of Technical Publications Thinners.  Who might you be?”

“Who might I be?”  Jebediah rose to his full height, and then went up on his tip-toes to further enhance his presence.  “Who might I be?”  Spittle started to fly from his lips, and his eyes rolled back, giving the prune a good look at the whites.  “Who might I be??”

Marlowe had collected his wits by now.  “Woman, are you daft?  This is Assistant Director Thinners!”

The prune came up short, then dropped back into her chair.  “Oh, really?  Are you sure?”

They immediately sensed the woman’s fear and uncertainty.

“How,” demanded Nina, “could you possibly work for Assistant Director Thinners and not recognize him?”

“Yes, of course,” warbled the prune nervously.  “It’s just that the other man said he was Thinners.”

“Other man?” they all asked simultaneously.

“I’m terribly sorry.  I didn’t mean to offend you.  Maybe he can clear this up.  Yes, I’m sure he can.  Why don’t you go in.”  The prune raised a shaky hand to her phone, pressed a button, and said, “Assistant Director Thinners, Assistant Director Thinners is here to see you.”  The sound of something clattering emanated from the speaker, and then she buzzed them in.

A.D. Thinners possessed a large office with wall-to-wall gold shag carpeting, two large cherry wood bookcases bulging with books, and a large panoramic window with a view of the French Rivera.  In front of the window, occupying a large portion of the room, was an enormous titanium desk with polished oak trim.  Behind the desk, standing in a loose-fitting gray with orange-stripes uniform, was a quaking fountain of sweat.  His hair was black with perspiration.

“Oh, ah,” he stammered, “um, Assistant Director, how are you, sir?”  His head swiveled from side to side, taking in Marlowe, Nina, and Jebediah, clearly uncertain who he should be addressing.

“Do you know who I am?” squeaked Jebediah.

“Ah, yes, sir, um, ah, well, yes.”  He faded out and locked his eyes on the floor, bracing himself for some sort of blow.

“Please explain yourself and your presence in this office,” forced out Marlowe, still unclear exactly what was going on, but sensing he had the upper hand.

“Ah, yes, well, I can explain.”  He paused, still staring at the floor.  “Yes.  It’s rather funny, actually.”  He peeked up briefly.  “Or maybe not.”

Jebediah had also sensed the current balance of power and took full advantage.  “Funny!?  Funny!?  What in the Governor’s green City could possibly be funny about this situation?”

“Ah, yes, well, you see, it’s a bit of a long story.  I’ve been in the Ministry for almost fifteen years, and I kept putting in a request for an office, but it kept getting denied.  And then I noticed your office, and, well, since there is no Technical Publications division-”

“No Technical Publications division?!” thundered Jebediah.

“Err, I mean, I figured the office was a front for some sort of undercover operation or something.  I, well, I kept watch, and after three months of no one ever occupying the office I just sort of moved in.  Didn’t think there’d be any harm, and, well, I really, really wanted an office.  It seemed like a waste of space-”

“Waste of space?!  My office a waste of space?  Just who the hell are you?”  Jebediah was in top form now, and had whipped out his clipboard.

“Junior Assistant Facilitator Mandelbrot, sir.  I work in Propaganda, under Facilitator Riefenstahl.”

“And your mail stop, Junior?”

“Oh, Governor, you’re not going to report me, are you?  I could be executed for this!”

Jebediah continued undaunted.  “Your mail stop!”

“1939, sir.”

“I’m going to think long and hard, Junior, about whether or not to report you.  And while I’m thinking long and hard, I want you to think about what you’ve done.  And if, by the grace of the Governor, I don’t report your actions, you will owe me a very, very large favor.  Do we understand each other?”

Mandelbrot sensed a glimmer of hope and saluted smartly.  “Oh, yes, sir.  Absolutely, sir.”

“Now get out of my office!”

Marlowe grabbed Mandelbrot’s shoulder as he started out, causing the damp man to literally jump out of his shoes.

“Just a moment, Mandelbrot.  I’m a little confused about one thing.”

“Oh, yes sir,” replied Mandelbrot.

“The administrative assistant outside.  A. D. Thinners never requested one.”

“Oh, ah, yes, well, you see….”

Nina started to laugh, but caught herself.  “That was rather brazen of you,” she said.  “How long after  moving in did you request the admin?”

“Ah, well,” squirmed Mandelbrot.  “I didn’t want to risk anything too soon, just in case, you know, so I waited a month.”

“You owe me a really, really, really big favor, Junior,” said Jebediah in a steady, unnerving voice.  “Now get out of my office.”

“Yes, sir!”  Mandelbrot saluted again, bent down to pick up his shoes, and rushed out.

Nina started to laugh.  “Wow, that was close!  Who would have thought that someone would steal the office you-”

“Yes,” broke in Marlowe hurriedly while raising his finger to his lips.  “Very amusing.”  He pointed up at the ceiling while leaning close.  “Remember our conversation in the car about listening devices,” he whispered.

Nina nodded understanding.  Marlowe pulled a small telescoping rod out of the sleeve of his uniform and swept it across the office.  A small light on the tip blinked on and off as his moved it.  It took him a minute to sweep the entire office, and when he finished he let out a big sigh.  “We can talk now.  It’s safe.  For awhile anyway.”

“In all the excitement, I’d forgotten we have more to do,” said Jebediah as he crashed into the chair behind the desk.

“You are going to send an email to this address,” said Marlowe, sliding a slip of paper across the desk to Jebediah.  “You’ll send it five minutes after Nina and I leave, and then eat the slip of paper.  Don’t worry, it’s peppermint flavor.”

“Ooh, my favorite,” said Jebediah.

“Yes, House saw to that,” said Marlowe.  “Now the email will be detected by House, who will then initiate a warrant request to search the Ministry of Policing building for any items related to a PDI virus.  Obedere will get wind of it almost instantly and dispatch the R.E.T. to hide any relevant evidence.  But of course, by then, Nina and I will be positioned outside the R.E.T.’s offices and will follow them right to the evidence, by which time House will cancel the warrant request and Obedere will call off the R.E.T.”

“R.E.T.?” asked Nina.

“Rapid Expungement Team,” filled in Jebediah.

“This sounds kinda iffy to me,” said Nina.  “What if Obedere doesn’t get wind of the warrant request, or sends someone other than the R.E.T?  And what if he does send the R.E.T., but doesn’t call them off?”

“House ran the numbers, and says there’s a 98.4% chance this is how Obedere will respond to the warrant request.”

“And what if Obedere shows up?”

Marlowe didn’t have a ready answer for this question.  Leave it to Nina to ask the tough ones.  “He’s unlikely to be present if we’re about to burst in with a warrant.  He’ll want to be as far away from the cleanup team as possible, to give himself plausible deniability.”

“What about me?”  Jebediah looked somewhat concerned.  “What am I supposed to do after sending the email?”

“Join us at the evidence site.”

“Oh, and how am I supposed to do that?”

“Once we arrive, and the R.E.T. leaves, I’ll send Assistant Director Thinners an email with a number in it.  You will open the email, see the number, and then look it up on the clipboard.  House compiled and numbered a list of 284 potential sites.  Go to the one whose number matches the one I’ll send in the email.”

“And if the site isn’t on House’s list?”

“In that case, I’ll send you the number of the site on the list nearest the target, and one of us will wait for you there.”

A surge of adrenaline pumped through Marlowe, along with a severely queasy sensation in his stomach.  His hands were shaking a little, which he covered up by making a fist.  “Good.  Nina, you’re with me.  Let’s go.”

 Amazingly, everything seemed to go according to plan.  Marlowe and Nina reached the R.E.T. team office with two minutes to spare.  Emboldened by their encounter with Mandelbrot, they rode the elevator up to level +15.  An office on  positive floor was deemed prestigious, and Marlowe had no doubts that Obedere wanted to keep his R.E.T. people happy.  He’d heard rumors of more than one department disappointing Obedere and being packed up and pushed down into the nether regions of the Ministry building.  Or worse.  One source confided to Marlowe that after the parrots had bird bombed City Hall, the Animal Control and Enforcement, or ACE division, had been tasked to round up and exterminate all the genetically modified parrots in the City.  Their failure was so egregious they were actually moved to a satellite office in the middle of the Trooper firing range.  Obedere also stripped them of their medical coverage, a costly loss of benefits given their new location.

As they stood outside the gilded double doors leading to the R.E.T. offices, studiously examining their clipboards in an effort to look inconspicuous, Nina cleared her throat.  A quick look showed the corridor was clear.

“Yes?”

“How much longer until we see something?”

“I don’t know.  We’ll wait a while, and if nothing happens, we give up, get father, and head home.”

At that moment, a team of six burly men and women in tanbark brown jackets over mauve jumpsuits and beige riot helmets burst through the gilded double doors of the R.E.T. office and rushed passed them.  The Rapid Expungement Team walked in lockstep, their boots clacking sharply as they moved down the corridor.  If they jogged, Nina and Marlowe could just keep them in sight.  It was here that their plan hit its first snag.  The cleanup crew had reached the elevators, and Nina and Marlowe could just make out their stony faces as the doors started to close.

“Hold that elevator!” called out Nina.

“Can’t, official police business,” called back the team leader as the doors slid shut over his face.  A thin sliver of light shone through the crack, and it slowly descended until the line of illumination winked out.

“Now what?”

Marlowe looked at Nina, the mirrored elevator doors, and then Nina again.  “I don’t know.  I didn’t think of this.”

BOOK: Marlowe and the Spacewoman
11.11Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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