Marriage, a History (68 page)

23
Gillis,
World of Their Own Making,
p. 101; Restad,
Christmas,
p. 41; Stearns, “Domestic Occasion.”

24
Pleck,
Celebrating the Family.

25
Mark Fann,
A Republic of Men: The American Founders, Gendered Language, and Patriarchal Politics
(New York: New York University Press, 1998); Adams quoted in W. Norton Grubb and Marvin Lazerson,
Broken Promises: How America Fails Its Children
(New York: Basic Books, 1982), p. 283.

26
Coontz,
Social Origins,
pp. 226-29, 235; Kathryn Sklar,
Catharine Beecher
(New York: Norton, 1976); Mary Ryan,
Women in Public: Between Banners and Ballots, 1825-1880
(Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1990), pp. 37, 52-53; Russell Conwell,
Acres of Diamonds
(New York: Pyramid, 1966), p. 22.

27
William McLoughlin,
The Meaning of Henry Ward Beecher: An Essay on the Shifting Values of Mid-Victorian America, 1840-1870
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1970), pp. 115-16.

28
Rosemary O’Day,
The Family and Family Relationships, 1500-1900: England, France and the United States
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994); James Riley,
Rising Life Expectancy: A Global History
(Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge University Press, 2001); Cynthia Comacchio,
The Infinite Bonds of Family: Domesticity in Canada, 1850-1940
(Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 1999). On the struggles of slave families, see Emily West,
Chains of Love: Slave Couples in Antebellum South Carolina
(Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2004) and Brenda Stevenson, “Distress and Discord in Virginia Slave Families,” in Carol Bleser, ed.,
In Joy and in Sorrow: Women, Family, and Marriage in the Victorian South
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1991).

29
Stephanie Coontz,
The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap
(New York: Basic Books, 2000); Faye Dudden,
Serving Women: Household Service in 19th-Century America
(Middletown, Conn.: Wesleyan University Press, 1983); David Katzman,
Seven Days a Week: Women and Domestic Service in Industrializing America
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1978); Christine Stansell,
City of Women: Sex and Class in New York, 1789-1860
(Urbana: University of Illinois, 1987); Flanders,
Inside the Victorian Home.

30
James McMillan,
Housewife or Harlot: The Place of Women in French Society 1870-1940
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1981), p. 9; Deborah Simonton,
A History of European Women’s Work
:
1700 to the Present
(London: Routledge, 1998), pp. 87-88; D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
p. 70.

31
Josef Ehmer, “Marriage,” in David Kertzer and Mario Barbagli, eds.,
The History of the European Family,
vol. 2,
Family Life in the Long Nineteenth Century, 1789-1913
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 2001), p. 320; Charles Rosenberg, “Sexuality, Class and Role in 19th-Century America,”
American Quarterly
25 (1973), p. 139.

32
Carroll Smith-Rosenberg and Charles Rosenberg, “The Female Animal: Medical and Biological Views of Woman and Her Role in Nineteenth Century America,”
Journal of American History
60 (1973);
Ladies’ Companion
9 (1838); William and Robin Haller,
The Physician and Sexuality in Victorian America
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1974); Susan Phinney Conrad,
Perish the Thought: Intellectual Women in Romantic America, 1830-1860
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1976).

33
Amy Erickson,
Women’s Property in Early Modern England
(London: Routledge, 1993); Fletcher,
Gender, Sex, and Subordination
(chap. 7, n. 41); Susan Okin, “Women and the Making of the Sentimental Family,”
Philosophy and Public Affairs
11 (1982).

34
Nancy Cott, “Passionlessness: An Interpretation of Victorian Sexual Ideology,” in Nancy Cott and Elizabeth Pleck, eds.,
A Heritage of Her Own
(New York: Simon and Schuster, 1979); Duby,
Love and Marriage in the Middle Ages,
pp. 27-28 (see chap. 7, n. 3).

35
John Demos, “The American Family in Past Time,”
American Scholar,
43 (1974); Dr. John Cowan, in Ronald Walters, ed.,
Primers for Prudery: Sexual Advice to Victorian America
(Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2000).

36
Peter Laipson, “ ‘Kiss Without Shame, for She Desires It,’ ”
Journal of Social History
(1996), p. 507; Norton,
Major Problems,
p. 228.

37
D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
p. 180.

38
Cormany quoted in Shawn Johansen,
Family Men: Middle-Class Fatherhood in Early Industrializing America
(New York: Routledge, 2001), p. 51.

39
Walters,
Primers for Prudery;
Cott, “Passionless”; James Mohr,
Abortion in America: The Origins and Evolution of National Policy, 1800-1900
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1978); Janet Brodie,
Contraception and Abortion in Nineteenth-Century America
(Ithaca, N.Y.: Cornell University Press, 1994).

40
Estelle Freedman,
The History of the Family and the History of Sexuality
(Washington, D.C.: American Historical Association, 1998); D’Emilio and Freeman,
Intimate Matters;
Daniel Scott Smith, “ ‘Early’ Fertility Decline in America,”
Journal of Family History
12 (1987). Michael Anderson, “The Social Implications of Demographic Change,” in Thompson,
Cambridge Social History,
vol. 2; Alison Prentice et al.,
Canadian Women: A History
(Toronto: Harcourt Brace, 1996); Miller,
Transformations of Patriarchy in the West
(see chap. 8, n. 33).

41
David Pivar,
Purity Crusade: Sexual Morality and Social Control, 1868-1900
(Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1973).

42
Mary Ann Glendon,
The Transformation of Family Law
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1989), p. 238.

43
Jennine Hurl-Eamon, “Domestic Violence Prosecuted: Women Binding over their Husbands for Assault at Westminster Quarter Sessions, 1685-1720,”
Journal of Family History
26 (2001); M. Hunt, “Wife Beating, Domesticity and Women’s Independence in Eighteenth-Century London,”
Gender and History,
4 (1992); R. P. Dobash and R. E. Dobash, “Community Response to Violence Against Wives: Charivari, Abstract Justice, and Patriarchy,”
Social Problems
28 (1981); Leah Leneman,
Alienated Affections: The Scottish Experience of Divorce, 1684-1830
(Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 1998); A. James Hammerton,
Cruelty and Companionship: Conflict in Nineteenth-Century Married Life
(London: Routledge, 1992); Shani D’Cruze,
Crimes of Outrage: Sex, Violence and Victorian Working Women
(DeKalb: Northern Illinois University Press, 1998); Leah Leneman, “ ‘A Tyrant and Tormentor’: Violence Against Wives in Eighteenth- and Early Nineteenth-Century Scotland,”
Continuity and Change
12 (1997); Linda Hirshman and Jane Larson,
Hard Bargains: The Politics of Sex
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1998); Steven Mintz, “Regulating the American Family,” in Joseph Hawes and Elizabeth Nybakken, eds.,
Family and Society in American History
(Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2001).

44
Riley,
Rising Life Expectancy,
pp. 172-79.

45
Anderson, “Social Implications,” p. 27; Phillips,
Putting Asunder,
p. 393 (see chap. 9, n. 17).

46
For this and the next paragraph, see Jeanne Boydston,
Home and Work: Housework, Wages, and the Ideology of Work in the Early Republic
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1990); Francis Early, “The French-Canadian Family Economy and Standard-of-Living in Lowell, Massachusetts, 1870,”
Journal of Family History
7 (1982), p. 184; Michael Haines, “Industrial Work and the Family Life Cycle, 1889-1890,”
Research in Economic History
4 (1979), p. 291; Claudia Goldin,
Understanding the Gender Gap: On the Economic History of American Women
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1990); Michael Anderson,
Family Structure in Nineteenth-Century Lancashire
(Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge University Press, 1971); Colin Creighton, “The Rise of the Male Breadwinner Family,”
Comparative Studies in Society and History
38 (1996); Joanna Bourke, “Housewifery in Working-Class England,” in Pamela Sharpe, ed.,
Women’s Work: The English Experience, 1650-1914
(London: Arnold Publishers, 1998), p. 339; Sara Horrell and Jane Humphries, “Women’s Labour Force Participation and the Transition to the Male Breadwinner Family,”
Economic History Review
48 (1995).

47
Simonton,
History of European Women’s Work,
p. 262; Wally Seccombe,
Weathering the Storm: Working-Class Families from the Industrial Revolution to the Fertility Decline
(London, New York: Verso, 1993), pp. 111-24.

48
Riley,
Rising Life Expectancy;
Ute Frevert, “The Civilizing Tendency of Hygiene,” in John Fout, ed.,
German Women in the Nineteenth Century
(London: Holmes & Meier, 1984); S. D. Chapman, ed.,
The History of Working Class Housing
(London: David & Charles, 1971); Anna Clark, “The New Poor Law and the Breadwinner Wage,”
Journal of Social History
(2000).

49
Thomas Hine,
The Rise and Fall of the American Teenager
(New York: Perennial Books, 1999), p. 125; Amy Dru Stanley,
From Bondage to Contract: Wage Labor, Marriage, and the Market in the Age of Slave Emancipation
(Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1998), p. 147.

1
The quotes from Franklin and Sedgwick in the following paragraphs are from Zsuzsa Berend, “ ‘The Best or None!’ Spinsterhood in Nineteenth-Century New England,”
Journal of Social History
33 (2000), p. 937.

2
For more on this transformation, see Rotundo,
American Manhood,
p.110
(see chap. 10, n. 18);
Peter Gay,
The Bourgeois Experience, Victoria to Freud: The Naked Heart
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1984), p. 100.

3
Karen Lystra,
Searching the Heart: Women, Men, and Romantic Love in Nineteenth-Century America
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1989), pp. 22-23, 45, 50.

4
Catherine Kelly,
In the New England Fashion: Reshaping Women’s Lives in the Nineteenth Century
(Ithaca, N.Y.: Cornell University Press, 1999), p. 147; Peter Ward,
Courtship, Love, and Marriage in Nineteenth-Century English Canada
(Buffalo: McGill-Queens University Press, 1990), p. 156. Historian Peter Gay notes that Americans of that era reversed the judgment of earlier generations and came to think that an inability to fall in love was a worse flaw in an individual than a tendency to fall in love too easily. Gay,
The Bourgeois Experience,
p. 100.

5
The rival quote and the lovers’ exchanges in the next two paragraphs come from Lystra,
Searching the Heart,
pp. 235-49.

6
Lee Chambers-Schiller,
Liberty, A Better Husband
(New Haven: Yale University Press), p. 38; Gail Collins,
America’s Women
(New York: HarperCollins, 2003), p. 138; Nancy Cott,
The Bonds of Womanhood
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 1977).

7
Herbert,
Dearest Beloved,
p. 186 (see chap. 10, n. 1).

8
O’Faolain and Martines,
Not in God’s Image,
p. 315 (see chap. 9, n. 13).

9
W. R. Greg, “Prostitution,”
Westminster Review
53 (1850). Free love advocates in the United States made the same point, arguing that law and custom forced women to marry and submit to unwanted sex in order to ensure their livelihood and respectability. In 1870 the novelist Henry James argued that marriage came into “dishonor” when it was forced on people; only when it was based on free sentiment rather than constraints could it be “holy.” Nicola Beisel,
Imperiled Innocents: Anthony Comstock and Family Reproduction in Victorian America
(Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1997), pp. 79, 87-88; Joanne Passet,
Sex Radicals and the Quest for Women’s Equality
(Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2003); James quotes, in David Kennedy, “The Family, Feminism and Sex,” in Thomas Frazier, ed.,
The Private Side of American History
(New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1979), p. 125.

10
James Talbot, “Miseries of Prostitution,”
Westminster Review
53 (1850), p. 472.

11
Rotundo,
American Manhood.
On the inherent push toward both equality and the right to divorce, see James Traer,
Marriage and the Family in Eighteenth-Century France
(Ithaca, N.Y.: Cornell University Press, 1980); Lynn Hunt, “Forgetting and Remembering: The French Revolution Then and Now,”
American Historical Review
100 (1995).

12
Phillips,
Putting Asunder
(see chap. 9, n. 17); Briggs,
Social History
(see chap. 9, n. 14); Josef Ehmer, “Marriage,” in David Kertzer and Mario Barbagli, eds.,
The History of the European Family,
vol. 2:
Family Life in the Long Nineteenth Century, 1789-1913
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 2001); Carole Shammas,
A History of Household Government in America
(Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, 2002); Hendrik Hartog,
Man and Wife in America
(Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 2000).

13
Cited in E. J. Goldthorpe,
Family Life in Western Societies: A Historical Sociology of Family Relationships in Britain and North America
(New York: Cambridge University Press, 1987).