Marriage Matters (29 page)

Fifty-six

C
hloe stood in front of an office door, finishing a diet soda and crossing her fingers. Earlier that week, the head of the department had called a meeting with her to discuss “her future.” She had no idea what that meant and hoped that it wasn’t a euphemism for “considering another field altogether.”

The past few weeks, it had been so difficult to manage her time. For the first time ever, she found herself skipping study groups and class reviews in favor of racing across town to meet with June about invitations or thank-you notes or the type of shoes they would wear at the reception. It was hard to say no to all of June’s requests, and managing that, coupled with spending time with Geoff and Mary Beth, had made her worry that her work was slipping.

Taking a deep breath, Chloe knocked on the door.

Dr. Jacobs barked, “Come in.”

Stepping into his well-organized office, she gave a weak smile. “Hello, Dr. Jacobs. Thank you so much for seeing me.” She glanced at the stately wooden desk and his floor-to-ceiling shelves of books, reports and medical journals. At his indication, she took a seat in the red leather chair across from his desk.

Dr. Jacobs was sifting through a report at lightning speed. Finally, he set it down and gave her his full attention. “Chloe McCallister.” Behind round tortoiseshell glasses, his dark eyes seemed to smile. “How do you feel this semester is developing for you? Things are good?”

Inside, she groaned. This meeting
was
going to be about her work.
Crap.

“It’s been an interesting few months,” she admitted, setting her backpack on the ground. “Typically, I expect much more from myself but this semester, I let some personal distractions get in the way. I plan to do more in the winter term.”

Dr. Jacobs leaned back in his chair, running a hand over the precise lines of his beard. “Interesting,” he said. “When I was your age, I was hard on myself, as well.”

Chloe looked up, surprised. “Hard on myself?”

The doctor smiled at her. “Chloe, your work is fine. Better than fine.”

At his words, she felt a profound sense of relief. In spite of the wedding, she had not lost sight of her goals. She still planned to own her own practice by thirty and to make a name for herself in the world of art therapy. It was good to know she was still up to the challenge.

“Chloe, there are some big opportunities coming up next semester that I think would be perfect for you,” he said. “There is an internship at the children’s hospital . . .”

Immediately, her heart started to pound. She was very aware of the position he was talking about. The students had been circling around the topic for weeks, trying to determine the best way in.

“. . . actively looking for assistance.” Dr. Jacobs peered at her from over the rims of his glasses. “This internship has a strong focus on research and it’s highly competitive. Does that interest you?”

Nodding enthusiastically, the office seemed to bob around her head. “Yes! Very much.”

“The position starts in February,” Dr. Jacobs said. “However, I’m confused about your statement regarding personal distractions.”

Chloe blushed. “I’m getting married. Right after Christmas.”

Dr. Jacobs hid a smile. Suddenly, she wondered if he’d seen the engagement announcement in the paper. Or . . . Oh, geez. He and Geoff knew each other. What if they were actually friends? It felt strange to imagine that, in a few short weeks, there was a very real possibility of ending up at a dinner or a social outing with the head of her department.

“I will be fine when it’s all over,” Chloe said. “Participating in a wedding is a big commitment.”

Dr. Jacobs held up his left hand to display a wedding ring. “So is marriage.”

Chloe smiled. “That’s the rumor.”

They both sat in silence for a moment. “You’ll have to meet with the hospital,” Dr. Jacobs said with a nod, “but my recommendation will weigh heavily on their decision.” He leaned back in his chair. “Chloe, I’m very impressed with your work. If you want my recommendation, it’s yours.”

Chloe leapt out of the chair. “Oh, thank you,” she cried. “Thank you! I am so excited.”

Dr. Jacobs got to his feet. Stepping out from behind his desk, he shook her hand. “Stop being so hard on yourself. You have the ability and vision to achieve great things. Now, get out of here.”

As Chloe raced out of the office, she let out a happy shriek. It wasn’t a real job or anything, for heaven’s sake, but it was a very big, very important step in her career. She couldn’t wait to share the news with Geoff.

* * *

To her surprise, Geoff was less than enthusiastic. Chloe saved the news until they were sitting out on the balcony later that night, shivering in the chilly air and drinking mugs of hot apple cider. The lights of Chicago stretched out before them and the wind brightened their cheeks.

“What’s that face for?” Chloe asked after telling him the news. She was wearing his wool-lined jacket and felt incredibly cozy. “I thought you’d be more excited about it than that.”

“But it’s an enormous internship.” Geoff’s green eyes seemed worried. “It typically leads to a job at the hospital. That’s why they don’t offer it every year.”

“I know.” Beaming, she lifted her mug and clinked it against his. The sharp smell of spiced apples wafted up, warming her. “Why do you think I’m excited?”

Geoff didn’t say anything. He just gazed out at the buildings. Across the way, she could see someone vacuuming an office, the fluorescent light bright in the night. His silence stretched on, until she could hear the faded sounds of cars rushing by, on the street so far below.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “What’s wrong?”

Geoff shook his head. “I’m concerned. Taking on an internship like that, you won’t have the time to devote to Mary Beth. She’s going to need your attention, Chloe. Your love.”

Chloe swallowed hard, thinking back on Ben’s words.
He just wants you to be a nanny.

They both sat in silence for a moment, then he let out a sigh. “I have something to tell you. I . . . I took Mary Beth to see Miriam today. My ex-wife.”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “You did?” She felt surprised that he’d waited so long to tell her. “How was it? How did it go?”

“Surprisingly well.” He turned the coffee mug around in his hands, avoiding her eyes. “It was emotional. To see her again. They, of course, bonded right away.”

Chloe felt a pang of jealousy. “That’s good.” Mary Beth hadn’t bonded with her yet. Not really.

Geoff glanced at her, as though realizing the conversation might be upsetting. “Should we talk about this? Or is it . . .”

Chloe shook her head. “Sure,” she said, waving her hand like June always did. “Of course we can.”

“Thank you.” He set down his mug of cider and took her hand. “It was all so strange. Mary Beth was shy at first, but she warmed up to her right away. And now that Miriam is back to normal, she’s eager to invest time with Mary Beth.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Letting out a sigh, his eyes settled on their hands, which were woven together. “Not great. It’s almost too much, the plans she has. Mother and daughter classes, outings . . . I know I should let them spend time together, but I don’t want Mary Beth to get it confused. You’re her mother now.” He squeezed her hand, as though to punctuate the words. “These are things you should be doing, not her.”

They sat in silence for a minute, the wind blowing harder around them. Sometimes, being this high up was frightening. There were moments where Chloe thought that, if the wind hit just right, it could carry her away.

“Regardless, you can do the internship,” he said, as though giving her permission. “Just please be aware of how it will affect Mary Beth. I’ll need you to be there for her, Chloe. That’s why I asked you to be my wife.”

“Um . . .” She blinked hard, the wind tugging at her contacts. “I thought you asked me because you love me.”

“Well,
duh
,” Geoff said. Giving her a cautious look, he added, “Isn’t that what you always say?”

Chloe burst out laughing. “Wow,” she said, shaking her head. “You just duh-ed me. Taking on the vernacular of the fiancée.” For some reason, this made her inexplicably happy, in spite of their conversation. Scooting her chair closer to his, she snuggled up against him. “I might like this new you.”

Geoff reached over and touched her face. “Well, I
love
you. Your ambition, your gorgeous body . . .”

Chloe blushed. Until Geoff, she’d never once thought of herself as being gorgeous. He said it so often, though, that she finally had to admit to herself that, okay, maybe she was attractive. Leaning over, she gave him an appreciative kiss on the nose.

“But the thing I like about you most,” he said, “is that you value family. And children. I know that you would never . . .” He stopped suddenly, his jaw clenched. His voice low, he said, “I just don’t ever want Mary Beth to be pushed aside like that again. Not ever again.”

Chloe felt sad, thinking of the little girl. “I know.”

“Good.” He nodded. “I want to build a family together, Chloe. Something that will last for years to come. And I want to do that with you.”

Linking her hand in his, she rested her head against his shoulder. Together, they sat in silence, staring out at the night.

Fifty-seven

J
une bustled Kristine and Chloe up to a dress shop, saying, “This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. I get to pick out a wedding dress for the first time in my life and I can’t
wait
to see what you two choose.”

Kristine swallowed hard. It had taken everything she had to get out of bed that morning, meet Chloe and June for lunch, then traipse over to the fancy wedding boutiques. Given her current state of mind, the last thing she wanted to do was shop for a vow renewal gown. What she really wanted to do was take the time to think about whether or not she should participate in the ceremony at all.

“You’re not picking out a wedding dress for the first time in your life,” Chloe told June. “I’ve seen your wedding pictures. You’re not nude.”

“I wore a hand-me-down,” June said, lifting her chin. Her dark eyes were wistful, and Kristine could imagine her as a young girl, standing on the edge of the life she had ended up living. “It was my sister’s wedding dress. It was beautiful but it had a few holes that we had to patch up and . . . Well, it wasn’t
mine.
” She gestured at the window of the boutique. “Who would have guessed that, fifty years later, I’d get to pick out something I want?”

Kristine smiled. “Good, Mom. You deserve it.”

“Yes, I do. My
dress,” June said, raising her hand to the sky, “will be the most amazing creation anyone has ever seen!” Letting out a battle cry, she rushed up the stairs and into the store, the door clanking shut behind her.

Chloe giggled. “Get ready, Mom. I hope you took the whole day off. This is going to be an extravaganza.”

Nodding, Kristine glanced at her watch. It was eleven, which meant the travel bookstore would be absolutely slammed right now, as it always was during the middle of November.

Shaking her head, Kristine looped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. Chloe looked especially pretty today. Her long hair was down and she was even wearing mascara.

“I want you to remember,” Kristine told her, “today’s not just about June, it’s about you, too. We’re going to find you the perfect dress and we’ll take as long as we need.”

Chloe gazed at the dress shop. “It’s so strange,” she said, brushing back a strand of hair. “I can’t believe I’m actually getting married. When did this even happen?” There was a tremor in her voice, which surprised Kristine.

“Are you getting nervous?” she asked.

“Not nervous, exactly.” Chloe looked down at her sneakers and kicked at a loose stone on the sidewalk. “Just overwhelmed. Everything’s changing. It’s weird. But it’s good. Just . . . weird.”

“What’s weird, exactly?” Kristine pressed.

“I’m just trying to process some things Ben said to me.” She slid an elastic band off her wrist and pulled her hair into a ponytail. “I didn’t get a chance to tell him about the engagement before Sally did and he was pretty upset.” She hesitated for a moment, as though choosing her words carefully. “He said some really shitty things.”

“Like?”

Chloe shrugged. “Oh, you know. That Geoff only wants to marry me to have someone to take care of his daughter.”

After the engagement photo session at the lake, Kristine had left wondering the same thing. Kevin, of course, had thought she was being ridiculous. “What do you mean? Geoff loves her,” he said, as though personally offended. “He’s lucky to have her.”

“Honey . . .” Kristine put a hand on the sleeve of her daughter’s sweatshirt. The material was soft and well worn. “Do
you
feel that way? That Geoff only wants you to be his nanny?”

“No, no. Of course not.” She twisted her engagement ring. Blowing air into her cheeks, they puffed out. Releasing a slow breath, she said, “But did Dad tell you? That Geoff’s ex-wife is back in town?”

Kristine was surprised. No, Kevin hadn’t told her. Apparently, he was too busy getting promotions to tell her something that could seriously affect her daughter’s relationship.

“I feel like I have to compete or something,” Chloe said. “She just met with Mary Beth and . . . I don’t know. It’s making things complicated. Geoff says I’m the mother, I’m the priority, but it’s just a little too much drama. It was a lot easier when she was still living out in California.”

Kristine was at a loss for words. “Maybe . . .”

Chloe shook her head. “Please do not say Geoff and I should take more time and think this through. It’s not going to change anything. I’m just going to have to learn to deal with it and move on. Who knows? Geoff married her. She could be a lovely person. Maybe we could even be friends.”

Kristine gave her daughter a look. “Really?”

Chloe laughed, the sun dancing on her face. “No. Doubt it.”

They stood in silence for a minute. “We should go in,” Chloe said. “I’m sure June’s tearing that place up.”

Kristine took in a chilly breath of air. Down the block, she could smell almonds roasting in cinnamon. She wished there was time to just go have coffee with her daughter, alone. Talk about this a little more. “Honey, I . . .”

“Mom.” Chloe shook her head. “It’s fine. Not a big deal.”

Actually, it was a big deal, but if there was something she had learned about Chloe over the years, it was that she only talked when she wanted to. She was a lot like Kevin that way.

Kristine glanced at the display window. “Shopping for a dress can be a little overwhelming.”

Chloe nodded, obviously relieved at the change of subject. “Throw June into the equation and it’s absolute madness.”

“Don’t let her pressure you into something you don’t like, okay?”

Chloe grinned. “Is that what she did with you?”

“Nope.” Kristine picked at a piece of black paint on the metal railing. “I let her plan the reception, choose my invitations and, apparently, my flowers, but I would not budge when it came to my dress.”

The white lace, vintage dress that Kristine had married Kevin in was the most delicate, beautiful thing she’d ever seen. It tied up the back with pale green and pink velvet ribbons and the silk bodice gave her a shape that her body had not seen before or since. The best part about it, though, was the old-fashioned lace, rippling down her body and swirling across her ankles like the froth of the sea.

Kristine had loved that dress. But her mother hated it. June hated the fact that the dress didn’t have a train, a veil or a designer label. She hated that it was made from silk and lace and had ribbons that weren’t white. But most of all, June hated the fact that her daughter insisted on the dress—just like she’d insisted on her groom—regardless of what she thought.

“So, I was thinking . . .” Chloe blushed. “Last night, I was actually thinking it would be awesome to find a way to make your wedding dress fit me.”

Kristine gripped the stair railing, surprised. “Really? You’d want to do that?”

Chloe looked down at her tennis shoes. “I thought it would mean something, you know?”

Kristine put her hand to her heart. She thought back to the moment she stood in front of the mirror for the first time, wearing that dress. The dress, in that moment, symbolized a moment of infinite possibility. In spite of the problems with her and Kevin, passing the dress down to their daughter would be such a special thing.

“I would be honored,” Kristine said. “That would mean so—”

A look of regret crossed Chloe’s face. “Mom.” Her voice was gentle. “I just meant I’d thought about it. It wouldn’t work. We’d have to add on, like, a five-foot extension at the base, since I’m such a beanpole. Matching that lace would be almost impossible. And to bring in the chest and . . .” She shook her head. “There isn’t time to do all that. I just wanted to let you know I’d thought of it.”

“Chloe, we can do it,” Kristine said. Rapidly, she calculated just how far away the wedding was. Could a seamstress make those changes in a few short weeks? Digging in her purse for her cell phone, she said, “Let me just call a tailor and . . .”

“Mom.” Chloe put her hand on hers. “There’s not enough time.”

Kristine was surprised at how disappointed she felt. Shaking her head, she said, “You know, I’m so glad you’re sharing a wedding with your grandmother but—”

“And you.” Chloe nudged her. “A vow renewal still counts.”

Kristine swallowed hard. “It’s just that all of this is going so fast. Are you . . . Are you
sure
you want to rush into this? You could get married next year. You and Geoff could—”

Chloe sighed. “I thought we just talked about this.”

“Right.” She fidgeted with a button on her coat. “I just—”

“Mom, everything is fine with me and Geoff,” Chloe insisted. “Besides, I don’t need a long engagement. This is perfect for me. I show up and everything’s done. Yes, it might have been nice to wear your dress but . . . Next time, right?”

“Next time?” Kristine was shocked.

Chloe grinned. “You know what I mean.”

June banged on the window. She was holding up two different dresses, one with holes in the bodice and the other lined with sequins and leather.

“We better get in there before she decides on a last-minute theme or something,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes. “I am
not
getting married dressed like Cleopatra.”

Kristine let out a pent-up breath. Even though she wanted to grab her daughter’s arm and insist that she stop and give this some more thought, she didn’t do it. Kristine didn’t want to be like June, always trying to run everyone else’s life.

Shoving her hands deep into her coat pockets, she followed her daughter into the store, ready to help pick out a wedding dress.

* * *

The bells on the door jingled as they walked into the store.

“Welcome to Garters,” said a young salesgirl. “My name is Ashley.”

Bustling forward, Ashley took both of their coats and whisked them off to a closet. She returned with two small bottles of sparkling water, her long blonde hair swaying with every step. “Congratulations on your engagement,” she said, dutifully admiring both Kristine’s and Chloe’s rings.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” June crooned, sweeping up and hugging them. “The rings
and
my family!”

Ashley laughed, obviously charmed by June. “Yes, absolutely.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said, looking around the store.

Based on the sparse selection of wedding dresses, it only took a second to classify the store as very expensive. Suddenly, she felt nervous. She’d never been good at picking out clothing and she didn’t have the slightest idea what to look for in a wedding dress. Luckily, June had it under control.

“Come on, come on,” June said, snapping her fingers. “I already have you all set up in a room. I found the perfect dress.”

“I thought you were shopping for you,” Chloe said, nudging her.

June’s dark eyes sparkled. “Oh, we have all afternoon for that.” Gesturing at the dressing rooms, she said, “Go. Get back there!”

The tiny dressing room smelled like roses and was partitioned with pink silk curtains. Sweeping them back, Chloe marveled at the romantic setup. The fitting room was decked out with an antique fainting couch, a small bureau made of mirrored glass and an oddly tasteful fluffy white rug. There were several pairs of designer shoes lined up against the wall, as well as ivory hooks offering up a variety of high-end strapless bras.

“Wow,” Chloe said. “This is nice.” Considering she hadn’t voluntarily set foot in a clothing store in ages, it was fun to walk into one like this. Reaching over to the little candy dish on the mirrored bureau, she unwrapped a chocolate-covered mint.

“Are you ready to see the dress?” the salesgirl asked.

“You only picked one?” Chloe asked her grandmother. Kristine cocked her head, equally surprised.

June smiled. “You’ll see.”

Ashley did in fact return with just one dress. She was flanked by two salesgirls, who threw open the curtain with a loud swish. Ashley hung the single dress on an ivory hook, tossing her long blonde hair. “Here it is.”

“That’s it?” Chloe said, feeling slightly disappointed. Even though she didn’t have a lot of experience shopping at boutiques, she thought it might involve trying on hundreds of options. She’d model and dance around, then eat pizza like they did in
Pretty Woman.

“We’ll do several, of course,” Ashley said. “But with your body type, your grandmother thinks this will be the only dress you’ll need.”

Kristine peeked around the corner. “Oh,” she gasped, touching the material. “Yes. I can see this.”

Chloe squinted. How? It was just some white material on a hanger. How on earth could any of them even begin to guess how it would look? Fashion was an art form she just didn’t understand.

Ashley and two assistants stood there, waiting for something. Chloe stared back, completely confused.

“Good heavens, girl,” June finally said. “Take off your clothes!”

Praying that she was wearing a decent underwear set, Chloe slid out of her jeans and sweatshirt. Ashley and her team got to work tugging and yanking to fit her inside the dress. For something that looked soft and flowing, it certainly did have a lot of things inside of it that had to be adjusted.

Kristine and June stood by during the process, talking in low, excited tones. Once the dress was on, Kristine turned to her and gasped.

June clasped her hands in delight. “This is it!” Rushing forward, she circled around Chloe, fluffing and smoothing fabric.

“I hate to say it,” Kristine murmured, “but June might be right. You look amazing.”

“You hate to say that I look amazing?” Chloe teased.

Kristine laughed. “No, I hate to say that June is right.”

“Well, can I see it?” Pointedly, she looked at the blank walls of the dressing room. “I wish there were mirrors in here.” She tried to catch her reflection in the mirrored bureau, but the drawers made it impossible.

Ashley fluffed out the train. “Chloe, we don’t want you to base your selection exclusively on your perception of how you look in the dress, but the reality of how you feel in it. So, before you even take a look at your gorgeous self, how do you feel?”

“Um . . .” She had no idea how to answer that question. “Hot? I mean, there are a lot of us in one little dressing room.”