Authors: Cynthia Ellingsen
“Do you feel comfortable?” Kristine asked. “Could you wear this all day and all night?”
Chloe thought for a moment. She felt some sort of a firm bodice around her stomach and bust, but it seemed to be hugging her gently instead of biting into her. The rest of the material was soft and flowing, like spun silk. “Yeah. I mean, it’s really comfortable. To be honest, it feels very expensive.”
“Perfect,” Ashley said, with a flash of her perfect white teeth.
One of her assistants threw open the curtains. Together, they lifted the train off the ground, as Ashley took Chloe’s hand and guided her hand up three pink-carpeted steps. There, Chloe stood in front of a three-way mirror. And stared.
It was a white strapless dress with a fitted silk bodice. The lines of the shape seemed to point upwards, drawing attention to the sharp bones of her shoulders. Scalloped material at the bust gave Chloe a shape for the first time in her life and below that, the material was gathered together in a crisscross that tightened her waist, just below an elegant crystal-encrusted jewel. Where the crisscross pattern ended, the cloud-like skirt began. Sheer white silk seemed to sway with every movement, making her feel as though she were walking inside a cloud.
“Wow,” Chloe breathed. The girl wearing the dress looked just like a girl in a magazine. She reached out and touched the mirror, watching as her finger left a small print. “Is that really me?”
“I think she likes it,” June said, her tone gleeful.
“I love it.” Turning toward her mother, she said, “Mom, what do you think?”
Kristine’s eyes were damp with tears. “When did you become so grown-up?”
“Oh, stop that.” Chloe blushed furiously. She sneaked another peek at herself in the mirror. “I look beautiful.” Her voice was quiet, disbelieving. “I look like a bride.”
June nodded. To Ashley, she murmured, “I think we’ve found the dress.”
Fifty-eight
S
eeing Chloe in that dress was the strangest thing. Kristine felt as though her daughter had
just
been toddling around in diapers, wearing rubber ducky boots to first grade, winning first place at the science fair . . . When had she gotten so big?
Kristine looked at June, wondering how she felt about it all. It must be twofold to watch a daughter have a child and then see that child grow up. It was strange to think that soon Chloe would have a daughter of her own.
“What are you thinking about?” June asked, linking an arm in hers. “You’re looking awfully weepy.”
They were sitting in the waiting area, waiting for Chloe to get changed. After that first dress, she’d tried on several more, but she put the first dress back on and said, “What can I say? I love it.”
“I’m just thinking about the circle of life,” Kristine said.
June made a silly face. “Well, wrap your mind around something that matters.” Reaching out, she tucked a strand of hair behind Kristine’s ear and smiled. “We still have to find something fabulous for you.”
Kristine avoided her mother’s eyes. “Absolutely. But let’s just worry about you first. I can’t wait to see what you find. We’re not stopping until we find you the dress of your dreams.”
Once they’d put Chloe’s dress on order, it became obvious that June planned to take Kristine’s words seriously. She took them on a whirlwind tour of every wedding dress shop in Chicago, trying on dress after dress, debating their merits endlessly. There was the one with the empire waist, the brocade train, the fur on the sleeves . . . Even though they’d stopped for sandwiches at one point and then coffee, Kristine’s enthusiasm started to waver. Finally, at their tenth stop, she took a seat in a chair and accepted a glass of champagne from the salesgirl.
“Mom,” Chloe said, sidling up to the chair. “What’s wrong with you?” She stared down with a face that looked just like her father’s.
Instantly, Kristine felt guilty. “I’m fine.” She got to her feet. “Does June need help?”
Chloe glanced in June’s direction. She was in the dressing room once again, surrounded by a handful of salesgirls. Her thin shoulder was poking out of the curtain. “Oh, she needs help alright, but not the way you’re thinking.”
June cackled. “I heard that!”
Kristine suppressed a tiny sigh.
Chloe gave her a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said, quickly. “I just . . .”
It wasn’t that she didn’t want her mother to find the perfect dress. It was just hard to keep up her enthusiasm for all this today, especially now that they’d been at it for hours. As the day progressed, Kristine couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin’s promotion and how it would affect their lives, their marriage and . . . well, the wedding.
“I’m just not feeling well,” Kristine lied, touching Chloe’s shoulder. “I had a glass of champagne. It made me sleepy.”
“Do you want a diet soda?” Chloe asked, fumbling with her backpack. “I have one.”
Kristine felt a rush of affection for her daughter, followed by a flash of pain. If Kevin took this job and their marriage continued to unravel, she couldn’t bear to think how it would affect their daughter. She’d be devastated, that much was for certain. That thought alone made Kristine feel a renewed flash of anger at her husband. What was he thinking? Why was he doing this?
Just then, June burst out of the dressing room, decked out in a form-fitting white dress completely covered in feathers. She looked like a bird about to take flight. Waving her arms up and down, she laughed hysterically and Chloe joined in. Kristine felt nothing but exhaustion.
“You know what?” she whispered. “I think that champagne got to me. I’m going to go.”
Chloe eyed her with concern. “Okay. Call if you need us?”
“Of course.”
Fifty-nine
C
hloe was so busy with the wedding, Geoff, Mary Beth, her job and her internship, that she had little choice but to stay up until four in the morning to finish the final term paper for her Theories in Psych class. After a few precious hours of sleep, she raced across town to turn it in, hating the fact that her professor wouldn’t just let them submit by email.
As her chapped red hands hovered over the basket, Chloe hesitated. Was the paper good enough? She was too exhausted to be objective anymore. Her grades were good enough but in her heart, she didn’t want to be good—she wanted to be great. At this point, she just had to cross her fingers and hope for the best.
Dropping the paper in the basket, she made a mental promise to do everything possible to prepare for the final exam. That was the score that could
really
make a difference. Unfortunately, she had to break that promise as quickly as she made it.
A group of students were filing into class for a final exam review but she had to duck right back out. Today was the only day Geoff had available to help her register, so after repeated phone calls from June asking her to get it done, she figured it was now or never.
Chloe waved at his doorman as she raced toward the elevator, her backpack banging against her arm. The ride up was calm, with the elevator seeming to lose all oxygen as it sped toward the upper floors. It was almost like meditation. Of course, the peace and quiet was shattered the moment the elevator doors slid open.
“No, no, no, no, no!” Mary Beth’s screams were accompanied by the sound of tin clanking against the ground. It was a wonder the neighbors didn’t call the police.
“What the heck?” Chloe rushed for Geoff’s door. It was already half open, in anticipation of her arrival. She rushed in to find her fiancé cowering in the kitchen as Mary Beth systematically threw pieces from her tin tea party set against the ground.
Other than the tea set, the apartment was as immaculate as always. Lacquered black tables that were perfectly polished. Windows sparkling in the morning sunlight. The city of Chicago looming beyond them like some shining fortress.
“Hey.” Chloe rushed across the room and scooped up Mary Beth. Not in a hug, but in a sleeper hold. “What on earth is going on here?”
Mary Beth let out a piercing scream, and Chloe carried her over to the couch and stared her down until she stopped. Finally, Mary Beth stuck her fingers in her mouth. “Daddy won’t take me to the park.”
“Daddy
can’t
take you to the park. Because it’s cold outside and because Daddy and I have to register for our wedding presents.
But
,” she said, watching the fingers come out and that little mouth open in preparation for another scream, “if you’re a good girl today, I can get you a present, too.”
Geoff came striding out of the kitchen as though he hadn’t spent the last few minutes under attack and kissed Chloe on the top of her head. “Hello.”
“Hi.” Chloe’s eyes widened, and she hoped she didn’t look as tired as she felt.
“I actually have a surprise for the both of you.” Geoff cleared his throat and folded the cuffs on his tweed jacket. “You two get to go shopping together!”
Chloe looked at him, confused. “Geoff, that won’t work. We’re going to be around china and crystal. That’s not gonna go well, if you know what I . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Wait. What do you mean, by ‘you two’?”
“One of my patients is in crisis.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry but I have to go in.”
“Honey, you should have called me.” She looked at her watch. The exam review had started fifteen minutes ago. It would be another dash, but she still might be able to catch the end. “Alright.” Grabbing her backpack, she headed for the door. “Mary Beth, we’ll have to go shopping another day. Geoff, when do you want to reschedule?”
Geoff’s face flushed. “Chloe . . .” With raised eyebrows, he indicated his daughter. She got the message. He hadn’t called to let her know about the change in plans because he’d expected her to be perfectly happy about the idea of watching Mary Beth.
Maybe she was overly tired, but she suddenly felt so defeated. It was one thing to work together as a team, to raise his—their—daughter, but geez. It was obvious that Geoff saw his job as more important than anything she could possibly have to do. Instead of calling a sitter, he expected that she wouldn’t mind the fact that he not only broke their plans, but chose to pawn Mary Beth onto her, as well.
“Geoff, I have a huge final coming up.” Chloe’s ponytail swung back and forth as she shook her head. “I’m missing the review, like, right now. If we can’t register, I have to—”
Striding over, he pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “But Mary Beth’s been having such a hard time. I didn’t want to leave her with a stranger. Please.” Geoff took her hands and smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “I’ll help you with the final. We’ll have our own study group. Later.”
Chloe sighed. “Okay, but when are we going to register? June needs us to do that.”
“
June
needs us to do that?” He adjusted his ascot, giving her a half-smile. “Am I marrying June?”
Actually, yes. He might not know it yet, but he was. She had a feeling her father could attest to that.
“All of her friends have been asking,” Chloe said. “Hasn’t Rue said anything to you?”
“Yes, of course she has,” he said. “But I’ve already done all this. The wedding thing.”
“The wedding thing?” She drew back as though he’d slapped her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“The parties, the invitations, the registering . . .”
“It’s your wedding, too,” she said slowly. “Doesn’t it matter to you at all?”
Geoff looked over at Mary Beth. She was sitting in silence, watching the scene unfold with fascination. “Listen.” He took Chloe’s hands. “The wedding is very important to me but it’s more important to me that
you
enjoy yourself. I’m sorry I can’t go today. I really am.”
Reaching into his wallet, he passed over a platinum credit card. “Call up your mom and June. Go out there and have a good time.”
“Um . . .” Chloe stared at the card. “Registering doesn’t mean you purchase the gifts. Typically, the guests purchase them for you.”
“You’re so funny.” He kissed the top of her head again. “Buy your mom and June lunch and have a wonderful day. Then tonight, I’ll take you out to that Italian place you like so much
.
”
Chloe felt a small pang in her chest, remembering the last time she had been to her favorite Italian restaurant. “I won’t have time for any of that.” She handed the card back to him. “Look, I’ll take Mary Beth for a few hours, but after that I’m going to need to go register. For both of us. Okay?”
Geoff looked relieved. “Thank you for understanding.”
Chloe nodded. But she didn’t understand. If he didn’t want to go through the whole “wedding thing” again, why get married at all?
Pressing her fingers into the area under her eyes, she reminded herself to keep it in perspective. To slow down, to relax. Considering she’d only gotten four hours of sleep, this situation probably seemed much more intense than it was.
Turning to Mary Beth, Chloe gave her a big smile. “What do you say, kid? Let’s go have some fun.”
* * *
By the time Mary Beth was bundled up in her pink puffy coat, purple knit hat and matching gloves, Chloe had lost the desire to keep things in perspective. She was fuming. Geoff didn’t even say good-bye. He headed straight for his office to make business calls before meeting the client in crisis.
The moment she and Mary Beth were outside the apartment, Chloe got down on her knees. Mary Beth’s nose was bright red from the cold and her brown curls framed her face. “I have a secret to tell you,” Chloe said. “One that you can’t tell your dad.”
Mary Beth hopped up and down. “What’s the secret? What’s the secret?”
“The secret is . . .” She let out a deep breath. “We’re going ice-skating!”
Chloe and Ben had been ice-skating together every year since the rink had been open. At first, Ben had to talk her into doing it. She was scared to put all her weight on a thin little blade, convinced she’d snap an ankle. But once he showed her how to balance and start gliding, she fell in love. It was something she looked forward to every year.
“Oh! I can’t wait until you and Daddy get married,” Mary Beth said. “We can play all the time.”
“Yup.” Chloe nodded. “That will be lots of fun. Give me just one second, then we’ll go.”
Getting to her feet, she pulled her phone out of her purse. Taking another deep breath, she dialed. “Hey,” she said, surprised he actually picked up. “What are you doing? I could really use your help.”
* * *
Chloe felt him before she saw him. Walking up behind her, Ben clamped a hand down on her shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “Hey, stranger,” he said.
For some reason that she didn’t understand, Chloe felt her eyes fill with tears. “Hey,” she said, turning to face him. “Thank you so much for coming.”
Ben’s blue eyes sparkled and his lips turned up into a half-smile. “Couldn’t handle the little one on your own? Needed an expert?”
Without waiting for her answer, he walked over to Mary Beth and tugged on her skate. “I bet I can skate faster than you.”
Mary Beth looked at Chloe, confused.
“This is my best friend, Ben,” Chloe explained. “I’ve known him since I was just a little older than you.”
Mary Beth stuck her mitten in her mouth. “I can skate faster than you,” she said, giving him a sly look.
Ben tweaked her nose. “No. I can skate faster than
you.
”
“I can skate faster than
you
!” Mary Beth shouted, then dissolved into giggles.
Chloe was impressed. “Wow. You really do have a way with women.”
Ben shrugged, his wool coat moving up and down with his shoulders. “It’s a gift.” Extending his hands, he pulled Mary Beth to her feet. Smiling at Chloe, he said, “Let’s do this.”
They walked out onto the smooth surface of the rink and Chloe slid forwards a couple of feet. She loved the sound of the metal blade cutting through the ice and the feeling of the wind on her cheeks. Turning, she beckoned to Mary Beth. “Come on,” she said. “Skate to me.”
It took some help from Ben but Mary Beth did it, her hand fixed carefully on the wall. Studying the other kids flying past her around the rink, the little girl dropped her hand and said, “I want to do that.”
“Go ahead,” Chloe said. “You can do it.”
Mary Beth took a couple of plodding steps, then started to get the hang of it. A little boy tried to hold her hand. She pushed him away.
“Wait until she gets really good,” Chloe told Ben. “She’ll trip him.”
Ben laughed. Companionably, they leaned against the wall. Chloe tried not to think about the last time they had seen each other. The way it had ended in a fight.
“It’s funny to watch you with her,” he finally said. “It’s pretty obvious that she adores you.”
Chloe laughed. “Thanks, but that’s not true. She only likes me when I do what she wants.”
The thought made her sad. She’d always been so good with kids but for whatever reason, Mary Beth was not attached to her in any way. Yes, they were making progress, but it was frustrating to think that there were kids at Tiny Tumblers who cared about her more than her soon-to-be daughter did. Chloe knew they had a lot of work ahead of them before they’d achieve any sort of unbreakable bond, but if that were the case, they’d just have to keep trying.
“So . . .” Ben nudged her. “How’s everything going? Are you happy?”
“Sure.” Chloe noticed that the tip of her nose was frozen. The year before, she and Ben had competed to see whose nose could get the absolute coldest. Of course, he had cheated, dipping his nose into a Coke and then standing there in the wind.
“Good,” he said. “I’m glad you called.”
Ben walked onto the ice and skated a few feet, the sweet spice of his cologne floating after him like the essence of a ghost.
“I miss hanging out with you,” Chloe said. “I . . . I miss you.”
Ben stopped skating. After a moment, he clomped over to her and held on to the wall. “Things have changed, you know?” Pointedly, he eyed the ring. “We can’t be the way we used to.”
“Why not?” she demanded. “If we’re really friends, why can’t we just—”
Ben took a step toward her. “Because,” he said. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“We kissed.” Chloe looked down at her hands. “Big, freaking deal . . .”
“It was,” Ben said, his voice quiet.
As a slow flush crept from her head to the tips of her toes, Chloe knew he was right. She thought back to the kiss. The hunger behind it, the need. Their friendship would never be the same.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go hang out with the little one. I’ve gotta get out of here pretty soon.”
“A date?” Putting her hands to her mouth, she blew on them in an effort to stay warm.
Ben took off his gloves and handed them to her. “Yup,” he said. “I guess you know me pretty well.”
As Mary Beth did yet another round on the ice in the kid’s section, Ben slid over to an empty corner. There, he performed a series of twists and turns they’d perfected over the years. Chloe took a careful step toward him.
“Go for it,” he called. “Do a turn.”
“No.” Chloe hesitated. “I think I’m just gonna keep it simple.”
The wedding was close. She didn’t want to get hurt.
* * *
Kristine rushed into the homewares section at Macy’s
.
Colorful china sets were on display from floor to ceiling, positioned alongside polished silver. Chloe stood in the center of all of this, looking completely lost. She was dressed in her typical jeans, backpack and sweatshirt.
Spotting her, Chloe’s gray eyes lit up with relief. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Rushing forwards, she said, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”
As Kristine hugged her daughter, she could feel Chloe’s ribs through the sweatshirt. “Honey,” she scolded. “I don’t care how busy you are. We’re getting dinner after this. Steaks.”
“Mom, you sound like Dad,” she scoffed, pulling away.