Maureen McKade (21 page)

“But I want to touch you, too. I want to make you feel the way I feel.”

He’d never known anyone like Kit. Studying her passion-lit features, he foundered in the loving concern displayed in her wide blue eyes.

“By pleasuring you, I will feel the same way,” he assured her. He drew a blunt-tipped finger along the curve of her jaw. “Do you like that?”

She closed her eyes, nodding with a jerky motion.
“Every time you touch me, I feel like I’m going to shatter into a million pieces.”

“Soon, darling. Soon,” Jake promised.

He eased his fingers back into her damp heat, opening her like rose petals unfurling beneath a summer sun. Exploring the silky folds, he found the core of her pleasure and stroked it with infinite patience.

Kit threw back her head, shuddering, and arched up to meet his exploration. Her bosom jutted out, and Jake laved each turgid center with greedy kisses. Her scent surrounded him; cinnamon and musk and sweetness swirled through his senses, making him grow harder. He squeezed his eyes shut, determined to hold back until Kit was ready to follow him over pleasure’s pinnacle.

She pressed against his hand, urging him, directing him, but Jake instinctively knew. Her tiny gasps tugged at his control, and sweat soaked the bandage around his forehead.

“Please, Jake.”

Her whispered plea spurred his passions to the breaking point. Clasping her waist, he rolled her onto her back in one swift motion.

Kit gazed up at him with wide, questioning eyes as her knees bracketed his hips.

With only a slight hesitation, she reached for the band of his drawers and slipped her fingers between the material and his skin. Her warm hands slid the clothing down his hips, releasing his masculinity.

Kit had never seen a naked man before, and at the sight of his rigid length, an ache throbbed in her loins. He removed his underwear completely, dropping them to the floor to join her gown and robe.

She held out her arms, beckoning him to return.

He moved back over her, his hardness poised at her hot, pulsing entrance. The curling hairs that covered his chest and tapered down to encircle the base of his erection
tickled Kit’s sensitive skin. Her stomach coiled, the tension spreading outward like spokes on a wheel.

She raised her hips, soundlessly urging Jake to complete their joining, to give her the relief her body craved but her innocence couldn’t comprehend.

He gazed down with smoldering eyes and eased himself into her demanding heat. Forcing himself to move slowly, he pressed forward and met the evidence of her virginity. Even though she’d told him Johnny wasn’t her child, part of his mind reeled with the knowledge. He couldn’t hold back any longer.

He grasped her hips and plunged deep inside her with a single thrust. Her whimper of surprise and pain tore at his gut, and he wished he could’ve spared her and taken the discomfort into himself. For a moment, he lay still. Her sheath was so tight and hot around him, he was afraid it would end too soon, before Kit could learn the pleasures of lovemaking.

After a few moments, she relaxed and he began to move with long, easy strokes, stoking the fires to an uncontrollable conflagration. He clutched her hips in his hands, and increased his tempo.

Kit threaded her fingers through his hair and pressed her lips against his stubbled chin. Sweat slicked between their joined bodies and Jake’s tingling nerves grew taut.

Lightning flashed outside, illuminating every curve and hollow of her rose-flushed body. Thunder rumbled, reverberating through Jake, merging with the wild storm that raged inside him. Another jagged line of white light washed through him, followed by nature’s rampant repercussion.

Jake buried his face in Kit’s hair, and his harsh breathing roared in his ears. Desire gusted through him like the wind that tore at the shutters.

“Come with me, Kit,” he whispered hoarsely.

Her body stiffened beneath him, and she exclaimed, “Jake!”

Kit’s joyful cry filled his mind, and his body shuddered with release. A wave of uncontrollable ecstasy crashed through him, and he sought her bow-shaped lips with fierce possessiveness.

Jake dropped his forehead to the pillow beside Kit. Her heart pounded so hard, he could feel its rapid beat against his breast. He could taste her on his lips, and her musky scent curled in his nostrils. No other woman had made him feel so replete, so contented.

Only Kit, whom he trusted as he trusted few others.

He tried to roll to her side, but she tightened her embrace around him. “No, don’t.”

“I’m too heavy.”

“I like being so close to you.” She peered up at him. “I’ve dreamed of this for so long, Jake.”

“What do you mean?”

She glanced away as if embarrassed, then returned her artless gaze to him. “I never looked at another man without comparing him to you. Even after I thought I was over my infatuation, I still found myself thinking, ‘Jake wouldn’t do it that way,’ or ‘His smile isn’t nearly as handsome as Jake’s.’ ”

He hadn’t realized the depth of her feelings. How could a man like him, who’d squandered his time on whiskey and whores, have gained the affection of a woman so generous, so unblemished by life’s harsh lessons?

Unable to articulate his thoughts, he feathered a tender kiss across her passion-swollen lips. As if she were made of exquisite china, he framed her face in his hands, and her lashes swept downward.

Kit wanted the moment to last forever, to be inscribed upon her heart like her unspoken love. Now she understood why Maggie had accepted Jake’s lovemaking
without demanding anything in return. Kit had never known anything so glorious, so eclipsing. Instinctively she knew it would be that way with no other man.

He’d known she was the only woman for him the first time he’d laid eyes upon her angelic face and perfect feminine figure. Jake Cordell had never allowed another person into his soul as he’d allowed her to infiltrate his heart. It was as if she had been made for him alone, just as Eve had been made for Adam. And equally as tempting
.

Her shy, gentle demeanor begged for protection, and Jake delighted in playing the role of Sir Lancelot, her knight in shining armor. Only for her would he consider hanging up his guns and settling down to a quiet, anonymous existence, content to bask in the brilliant light of her adoring eyes
.

As tentative as a speckled fawn, she touched his hand with her kidskin-encased fingers. Her love radiated through the demure contact, and pink blossomed her cheeks. He brushed the side of her face lightly and whispered his undying love to his beautiful maiden
.

Kit sighed dreamily, still feeling the aftershocks of breathless rapture. Although her thighs were tender, she shifted her body beneath Jake’s welcome weight.

“Let me pleasure you this time,” she whispered.

Jake gazed down at her, puzzled. “You did, honey.”

She shook her head. “Not the way you did.” She pressed her palms against his broad shoulders. “Roll onto your back.”

Jake eased off her and lay on the mattress, and Kit stretched out next to him, her breasts pressed close to his side. Remembering the wondrous melody he’d played upon her body, Kit tried to repeat the refrain. She coaxed his nipples to pebble hardness. Awed that his body reacted in a similar fashion to hers, she leaned forward and drew a nipple into her mouth.

Jake moaned, a deep, primal sound that rumbled through her, and he wrapped his hands around the back of her head. “Kit.”

Encouraged by his passionate response, she trailed a moist line to the other crest and licked the tip with slow, measured motions. The dark, springy hairs tickled her nose, and she slid her fingers through the whorls moving downward, over his navel, and paused. Did she dare touch him
there?
He’d caressed her in ways she’d never dreamed a man would. Would it be unseemly for her to reciprocate?

Her heart thudded against her ribs, and her palms dampened with anxiety. Curiosity and desire urged her on. She continued her journey, and his masculinity grazed her knuckles. Jake’s quick intake of breath told Kit he didn’t find her actions too bold.

Growing more confident, she curved her fingers around him. Jake’s muscles grew taut and he seemed to swell within her grasp. She’d never imagined a man could be so hard, yet the skin remain as smooth as silk. Exploring him as he’d done to her, Kit felt her stomach clench and her lungs struggle for air as her passions escalated.

Abruptly Jake grabbed her wrist, halting her motions. Startled, Kit feared she’d incited Jake’s disapproval.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he demanded in a harsh voice.

Afraid to look into his face, Kit kept her gaze focused on his chest. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

He raised her chin with a crooked finger, and she was forced to look at him.

“Oh, Kit,” he breathed. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” A chagrined smile lit his features. “It’s just that I didn’t expect … well, I didn’t expect you to do what you did.”

Puzzled by his embarrassment, Kit tipped her head. “You mean a woman shouldn’t—”

Jake chuckled, although there was underlying tension in his tone. “No, honey, it’s just that I’ve heard so-called good women don’t do things like that.”

She drew her stilled hand away from his masculinity, her cheeks burning. “I only wanted to make you feel the way I do.”

“I do, believe me—and I’m glad to learn that what I heard about good women was wrong.” His sensuous lips curved upward, his eyes twinkling with deviltry. “Fact is, I liked it too much.”

Relieved, she grinned with saucy insouciance. “Good. Can I shock you again?”

He blinked and nodded, his expression both wary and excited.

“Does the man always have to be on top?”

Jake tried to choke back his laughter, but failed. “Oh, Kit, what did I do to deserve you?”

She trailed her fingertip along his stubble-laced jaw. “What did I do to deserve
you
?”

Her heart swelled with love for this man who could see others as they were but was blind to his own goodness and generosity. His hands spanned her waist, urging her to complete their joining. Needing no other invitation, Kit swung her leg over him. As she sank down upon him, she closed her eyes in expectation of a twinge of pain—but only pleasure coursed through her nerves.

Her eyes flickered open and she found Jake’s heavy-lidded gaze upon her. She raised herself slightly, and Jake’s palms slid to her hips. He directed her motions as Kit settled into a rapturous rhythm, her thighs slick with excitement. Keeping her eyes on Jake’s pleasure-filled face, she covered his hands with hers and reveled in her feeling of completeness.

Their crescendo built to a crashing climax, and Kit
followed Jake’s plunge over the edge. Collapsing onto him, she laid her cheek on his muscled chest, which rose and fell with deep breaths. Her heart thumped against her breast, merging with his rapid pulse. His muskiness swirled around her, imprinting his unique scent upon her senses.

He wrapped his corded arms around her, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head.

She pressed her lips against the springy hairs at the base of his neck, then gazed up at him. “Is it always this good?”

He swept a few damp tendrils from her face with a gentle hand. His pensive expression pierced Kit. “No. This was special.”

She believed him, and the knowledge warmed her. “I’m glad.”

Lying within the circle of his strong arms, Kit could almost forget another world existed … a world where she had less than two weeks to get the mortgage money or lose the ranch. A world where Jake didn’t know the woman he held was the hated T. K. Thorne.

A world where Johnny’s parentage was still a secret.

She clenched her hands into tight fists.

“What is it?” Jake asked.

She was surprised and dismayed he’d noticed her distress. Realizing that now was the time to reveal her secret about Johnny, she prayed for strength.

“Remember when I was trying to tell you something earlier today?” Kit began.

Jake nodded, and mock outrage filled his features. “Don’t tell me you’ve never done this before!”

Kit tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t cooperate. She swallowed, her blood thundering in her ears. “It’s about Johnny.”

Jake’s expression sobered. “Is someone trying to take him away from you?”

She shook her head. “It’s about his parents.”

His eyes narrowed, but he remained silent.

Kit’s breath stuttered in her throat, and she shivered with apprehension. “Johnny’s mother was Maggie.”

Jake grew motionless as he stared at her with an expressionless mask. “Who’s his father?”

Kit licked her lips and stammered her husky reply. “You are.”

Chapter 14

J
ake’s world tipped, throwing him off-balance. Johnny was
his
son. His and Maggie’s. His mind reeled with the revelation.

He rolled Kit off him and scrambled out of bed. Oblivious to his nakedness, he stalked around the room. He stopped in front of Kit, who, with white-knuckled fists, held a sheet over her chest. “Does Johnny know?” he demanded.

Kit shook her head. “I thought I’d tell him when he was old enough to understand.”

He stared down at her, noting she didn’t meet his gaze. Johnny hadn’t known, but
she
had. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Didn’t you think
I
was old enough to understand?”

She swallowed, hesitantly raising her eyes. “I didn’t think you wanted to be tied down.”

Unexpected fury lashed through him. “
You
didn’t think I wanted to be tied down. Who the hell do you think you are, making that decision for me?”

She trembled. “Maggie said—”

“I don’t give a damn what Maggie said. She’s been dead for over five years. You had no right keeping Johnny from me.” Jake choked on his anger.

“I wanted what was best for him.”

“And you figured you were best for him?” Jake paced from one end of the room to the other. “A son has a right to know his father. And a father sure as hell has the right to know his own son.”

Kit rose, replacing the sheet with her robe. A pink splotch stained each cheekbone, the only color in her pallid face. “You were out gallivanting around the country, drinking and sleeping with who knows how many other women. Maggie knew that, though I didn’t want to believe it. Then, when you came back, you told me yourself you didn’t know how to love, how to be part of a family.”

Her breasts rose and fell, and the glimpse of her shapely legs threatened to scatter his senses, but he clung to his bitter resentment. He forced himself to look into her battle-lit eyes. “That doesn’t mean you had the right to withhold my son from me.”

“I’ve raised him by myself. I’m the only family he’s ever known.”

He stepped up to her, aiming his index finger at her. “And whose fault is that?”

Her gaze faltered, and for a moment, Jake thought he detected moisture glimmering in her eyes. He thrust the image aside. Spinning away, he moved to the window. A spear of lightning split the night. “Go to your room, Kit.”

“I won’t be treated like a child.”

His gentle-hearted Kit had hidden claws. “Seems to me if you act like one, you should be treated like one.”

He heard her pulling on her gown, and the sound of the material sliding over skin conjured up visions Jake didn’t want to imagine. But his body had no such scruples. He didn’t hear her approach, but his skin tingled with awareness of her, and he remained facing the window.

“I guess it takes one to know one,” she said, her quiet voice slicing his soul.

The harsh whisper of her flurried footsteps told Jake she’d left the room. He turned, shivering in the chill that seemed to seep into his bones. Pulling on his trousers, he tried to keep his gaze averted from the sheets that lay in disarray from their lovemaking. Kit’s betrayal cut deeper than anything since his mother had deserted him. He’d trusted Kit as he’d trusted few others, and she’d turned out to be like everyone else.

He flattened his forearm against the window and leaned his forehead against his wrist.
My God, I have a son
. The knowledge overwhelmed him, shook him to the core. Even though he hadn’t known of Johnny, guilt washed through Jake. He had promised himself that if he had a son, he wouldn’t ignore him the way his own father had deserted him. And he’d confided that to Kit. Why hadn’t she told him then?

Raising his head, he curled his fingers into a tight fist. Could he forgive her? Maybe. Could he ever trust her again? No.

The image of Kit’s slender curves and passion-filled expression as she’d ridden him brought a heaviness to his loins. His reaction to the memory only increased his anger. How could his body still crave her when his mind was sickened by her deceit? He drew back his fist, wanting to smash something, anything, to relieve the bitter betrayal that soured his gut.

Struggling against his anger, Jake unclenched his fingers and rubbed his bandaged forehead. He had a son to consider.

“Johnny is my son,” he stated in the darkness.

Speaking the words aloud sent a frisson of fear racing up his spine. What was expected of him? How would Johnny react to the news? When should he tell him? How should he tell him?

Jake’s mind swirled with helplessness. Who could he confide in and ask for advice? An hour ago, his answer would’ve been Kit, but now she was the last person he’d turn to.

The room seemed to close in around him. He had to leave this place until he sorted out his tumultuous thoughts and figured out how to claim his son. Glancing out the window, he noticed the storm had passed and only a light drizzle remained.

He finished dressing and stalked out to the barn. Once there, he paused. Without Zeus, he had no way to get back to town.

Charlie entered behind him. “Iffen you need a horse, I’m sure Miz Thornton wouldn’t mind you borrowin’ one. Just leave it at old Ned’s livery.”

Jake nodded. “Much obliged.”

He picked out a piebald mare and began to saddle her.

“Any special reason you’re leavin’ in the middle of the night?” Charlie asked conversationally.

“Yep.”

Charlie continued to watch him, and Jake had the uncanny feeling the hired man could read his mind.

“Sometimes her heart gets in the way of her head,” Charlie said quietly.

Jake stopped to peer at the dark man in the lantern-lit barn. “That doesn’t give her the right to decide what’s best for everyone.”

“No, but it might explain why she done what she did.”

Jake returned to his task. “There’s no excuse to keep a man’s son from him.”

“Try lookin’ at it from her side before you be castin’ the first stone.”

Jake led the horse out of the barn and settled in the saddle. Looking at Charlie, he said, “I’ll be back for my son.”

Riding into town, he began to plan his strategy. When he returned to Kit’s, it would be to assume his duties as a father.

Kit peered into the mirror and tried to pinch some color into her pale cheeks. Her eyes, puffy and swollen from crying long into the night, were red-rimmed. How could she face Jake after all that had happened? One moment her life seemed complete in Jake’s arms, and the next the illusion was shattered into a million jagged splinters, each fragment shredding her heart.

She didn’t blame Jake for being angry. She’d deserved his wrath and had expected it, but she also hoped he would overcome his fury and do what was best for Johnny.

She inhaled and let out her breath in a steadying gust. Would Jake insist on telling Johnny immediately? Kit imagined herself in his position and knew she’d want her child to know as quickly as possible. She’d have to be prepared. How did a mother prepare to lose a son?

Blinking back tears, she ran a brush through her hair and ventured into the hall. She stepped over to Jake’s room and found it empty.

Had he taken Johnny away in the middle of the night? The blood drained from her face, and she pressed her hand against the wall to steady herself. Her heart pounding like a smithy’s hammer, she forced herself to move across the hall. Using every ounce of courage she possessed, she looked into her son’s room.

His dark head showed above the blankets, and his chest moved up and down with sleep-steady breaths. Relief flowed through her, as intense as her terror had been moments before. She crossed the bedroom to Johnny’s bedside and knelt on the floor burying her face in the bedcovers.

What if Jake never allowed her to see Johnny again?

Surely he wouldn’t be so cruel as to separate her from her son. He wasn’t that cold-hearted.

And she wouldn’t let him! No one would take Johnny from her, not even his own father.

Kit left Johnny’s room with reluctant footsteps and went downstairs in search of Jake. Not finding him, she went outside into the rain-freshened morning. The pungent odor of damp earth greeted her, followed closely by Toby, who skipped around her in excitement.

She scratched behind his ear. “Have you seen Jake?”

The dog yipped in reply and dashed toward the barn. Kit followed him at a more sedate pace, her body sore from the glorious lovemaking with Jake. She forced the sweet memories aside, unable to deal with them without remembering his angry words afterward.

She entered the barn and spied Charlie standing by the stall that held the new mother and her colt. She went to join them.

“Mornin’,” Charlie greeted her. “Both mama and baby appear to be doin’ just fine.”

Kit smiled, glad to find one ray of sunshine in her dreary mood. “That’s good. I hope I can see that colt grow up.”

Charlie turned to face her, his expression solemn. “Is it the loan?”

“Partly,” Kit admitted. “I have only ten days to come up with five hundred dollars.”

“Somethin’ will come up. It always does.”

Kit wasn’t so certain. The small income from her dime novels had pulled her through a couple of times, but even that had dried up. “Have you seen Jake this morning?”

“He rode out in the middle of the night.”

Shock robbed Kit of her voice for a moment. “He must’ve left right after I told him about Johnny.”

“Can’t say as I blame him.”

“I was only doing what I thought was best.”

“Did you ever wonder what was best for Cordell and Johnny?”

Kit pressed her spectacles up with her forefinger and turned her attention to the nursing mare and her hungry foal. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” She sighed.

Charlie studied her a moment. “You went and done it, didn’t you? You fell in love with him.”

Kit wanted to deny his words, but she’d had enough of lying to last a lifetime. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Ain’t no one ever
means
to fall in love. So is he gonna do right by you?”

“I doubt he ever wants to see me again. He was so angry, Charlie.” A sob escaped her. “What am I going to do if he takes Johnny away?”

Charlie put his muscled arms around her, and Kit accepted his awkward hug, grateful for the shoulder to lean on. Her body trembled as tears rolled down her cheeks, dampening Charlie’s rough-spun shirt.

“It’ll be all right,” the burly man soothed in a gravelly voice. “Cordell strikes me as a man who ain’t goin’ to shirk his duty.”

“But what if he figures his duty is to take Johnny home with him? First I lose Johnny, then I lose the ranch. I won’t have anything left.” Kit wept, her voice muffled.

“Hush, now; nobody’s gonna be takin’ Johnny or your ranch, not as long as you got me and Ethan.”

“I ain’t too old to take a scalp or two myself.” Pete Two Ponies stepped out of the shadows.

Kit moved away from Charlie, brushing her sleeve across her damp cheeks. She managed a smile. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, but thanks anyhow.” Her smile faltered. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen,
but I want you both to know that I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for Johnny and me.”

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen,” Charlie assured her. “Leastways, nothin’ we can’t handle.”

Kit wished she could be as certain. “I’d better get back to the house and put breakfast on.”

As she left a rustle of footsteps behind her made her turn to see who’d followed.

Pete’s creased face glanced upward, then to the east and west. Remaining silent, the gray-haired Indian closed his eyes a moment as if in supplication.

He opened his eyes, and Kit asked in a low, reverent voice, “Was that your morning prayer?”

He shook his head. “Naw. I was trying to decide if it’d be a good day to go fishing.”

“What’d you decide?” She kept her tone as dry as tinder.

He nodded with a slow, measured motion. “I think the fish will bite today. Mind if I take Johnny? Been a while since me and him been down to the creek.”

A grateful smile touched Kit’s lips. “And if Jake comes back to get Johnny, he won’t be around.”

Pete shrugged his thin shoulders, a picture of innocence. “If the boy isn’t here, Cordell can’t take him, can he?”

“I appreciate the offer, but ignoring the problem won’t make it go away.”

Pete stepped closer to Kit. “I ain’t saying to ignore Cordell, all I’m saying is that Johnny won’t be around when you two start arguing. That wouldn’t be good for the boy to hear.”

Pete was right; there was no reason to put Johnny in the middle. She nodded. “All right. I’ll get a lunch basket put together.”

Pete studied her with an impenetrable gaze. “Send Johnny down to the barn when he’s ready.”

Without another word, he limped away. Kit wondered what thoughts he hadn’t spoken. Did he disapprove of what she’d done? Did he agree with Charlie’s view that she should’ve told Jake earlier?

Straightening her back, she moved to the house. She’d get Johnny fed and away for a little while. Then she’d prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation.

An hour later, she handed Johnny a basket filled with sandwiches, pickles, boiled eggs, and an apple pie. “I hope you and Pete catch lots of fish. We haven’t had fried trout in a long time.”

Johnny lifted the checkered cloth covering the picnic meal and peeked at the pile of food. An enthusiastic smile lit his boyish face. “I can’t wait for lunch.”

Despite her worries, Kit smiled. “You’d better. That’s all you and Pete are going to get until this evening.” She took hold of his shoulders and steered him toward the open doorway. “Have fun, sweetheart.”

“I will.”

Kit watched him trot outside and across the yard.

“Johnny,” she called out.

He paused, glancing back.

The sun cast filaments of fiery reds and golds in his hair. Kit swallowed her fearful premonition and crossed her arms. “I love you, Johnny.”

His young face appeared puzzled, but he waved. “I love you, too, Ma. Bye.”

Pete stepped out of the barn with two fishing poles in hand and met Johnny. They fell into step, walking toward the trees that hid the creek from view.