Me and My Sisters (4 page)

Jack’s mum, June, came over and hugged Jess. ‘Merry Christmas, Jessica. You look very nice.’

‘Happy Christmas, June,’ I said, leaning in for her to air-kiss me.

‘Oh, my goodness, how on earth do you walk in those things?’ She stared at my boots. ‘They’re awfully jazzy.’

‘You have to suffer for fashion,’ I said, fixing a smile on my face.

We went into the lounge where Jack’s brother, Roger, and his wife, Fiona, were sitting at a chessboard with their daughter, Grace. She was two years older than Jess and in a different league intellectually. She’d been playing chess since she was three. Roger was leaning over the board in his navy blazer, explaining a move, while Fiona, in her simple but stylish black trouser suit and flat pumps, watched, beaming proudly. I always felt overdressed when I met them.

‘Hi, everyone. Happy Christmas,’ Jack said. They barely looked up.

‘We’ll be with you in a minute. Grace is just about to beat her daddy at chess,’ Fiona explained.

‘What’s chess, Mummy?’ Jess asked me.

I bent down to whisper in her ear, ‘It’s a game for people with no personality.’

‘How are things, Dad?’ Jack asked, sitting down beside me on the couch.

‘Excellent, thank you. I’ve just been asked to speak at the American College of Cardiology convention in Florida next month.’

‘Sounds great. Congratulations.’

‘Checkmate!’ Grace squealed. ‘I did it! I beat Daddy!’ She jumped up and down.

‘She really is an extraordinary child,’ June, the proud grandmother, said to me. ‘They’re taking her to be tested for Mensa.’

‘Mensa is a society for the brightest people in the world. Your IQ has to be in the top two per cent of the country,’ Fiona explained to me, her dim-witted sister-in-law.

‘I know all about it, Fiona. My sister Louise is a member.’

‘What?’ She was clearly shocked that I could possibly have a genius for a sister.

‘Yeah,’ I said, deliberately casual. ‘Louise has been a member since she was a kid.’

‘What does she do?’

‘She’s a lawyer,’ Jack said. ‘She studied law at Cambridge and got a first, didn’t she, Sophie?’ he boasted, on my behalf.

‘Yes, she came top of her year.’ I squeezed his hand.

‘We’re hoping Grace will go to Harvard,’ Fiona replied.

‘And no doubt she’ll become an arrogant bore like her parents,’ Jack muttered. I forced myself not to laugh.

‘Will you have a drink, Sophie?’ William asked.

‘Thank you. A glass of white wine would be lovely.’

He handed me a large glass and I gulped some down. It was going to be a long hour.

‘So how are things with you, Roger?’ Jack asked.

‘He has just been made master of obstetrics and gynaecology at the Royal College Hospital,’ William said, patting his elder son on the back.

‘That’s great. Well done.’ Jack went over to shake his brother’s hand.

‘And Fiona has been promoted to head of radiology at RCH,’ Roger said proudly.

‘They make an incredible team, don’t you think?’ June asked me.

I could think of many words to describe them – smug, self-obsessed, snobbish – but ‘incredible’ wasn’t one of them. ‘Congratulations, Fiona,’ I muttered.

‘Thank you, Sophie. How’s everything with you?’

‘Great, thanks.’

‘Still doing the stay-at-home-mother thing?’

‘Yes.’

‘I must say, I do admire you stay-at-home girls. There’s no way I could sit around the house all day. I’d go completely insane. The lack of intellectual stimulation would kill me. Besides, I couldn’t imagine not earning my own money.’

‘Well, Fiona, Jack earns enough for a hundred wives, so I don’t find it a problem.’ I smirked at her. Jack grinned at me.

‘Why don’t we open presents?’ Roger suggested, before a catfight broke out.

‘Santa brought Daddy a new car,’ Jess announced.

‘Yes, I can see that,’ Roger said. ‘It’s always easy to tell when you’ve had a good year, Jack. You’re never shy about displaying it.’

‘Jack had his best year ever,’ I bragged. ‘He’s a genius at what he does.’

‘I think you were being a little casual with the word “genius” there, Sophie,’ Roger said.

‘Who else do you know makes that much money?’

‘Genius has nothing to do with money.’ William snorted. ‘Anyone can make money, but very few people can save lives.’

I wanted to punch him on the nose. Here we go again: ‘We surgeons are gods, you know … We stop people dying … We make the difference between life and death, blah blah blah.’ I was sick of hearing it.

‘Let’s do the presents. Sophie and I have to leave soon.’ Jack cut across his father’s lecture on the wonders of surgeons.

Jack was incredibly generous with his money. He loved buying presents and had put a lot of thought into his family’s Christmas gifts. He knew Roger and Fiona liked opera so he had bought them flights, accommodation and tickets to the Rossini Opera Festival in Italy in August.

Roger read the itinerary. ‘Thanks, but unfortunately we won’t be available. I’ve got a conference in Mexico in August. I’m the keynote speaker.’ He handed the envelope back to Jack. ‘You guys should go. You never know, you might actually enjoy opera.’

I wanted to shove the envelope down his throat. What an ungrateful bastard. Jack was crestfallen.

‘Oh, my goodness, Jack, this is far too generous,’ June said, opening her envelope. ‘Look, William, he’s bought us a weekend at the George V in Paris.’

‘Bit over the top, don’t you think?’ William boomed. ‘No need to spend all your money in one go, son.’

Jack gritted his teeth. ‘I’m not, Dad. I wanted to treat you and Mum. I know she’s always wanted to stay in that hotel and I’ve had a good year so I thought it’d be a nice present.’

‘It is, dear,’ June said, patting her younger son’s arm. ‘It’s a lovely surprise.’

William snorted.

Jack looked like thunder as we carried on with the presents. Roger and Fiona had given us a chess set – ‘so you can teach Jess and expand her mind’. And they gave Jess a hundred-and-fifty-piece jigsaw, ‘because Grace is doing three-hundred-piece ones’.

I had bought Grace a Burberry raincoat with wellingtons to match. Fiona looked at them and fished around in the bag for the receipt. By the time we left I almost had lockjaw from the fixed smile I’d worn.

‘Thank God that’s over.’ I laid my head on the headrest in the car.

‘I can never do anything right. I’ll never be good enough.’ Jack thumped the steering-wheel with his fist.

‘Maybe you should stop trying so hard. You always get knocked back.’

‘They’re my family. I’d like them just for once to bloody well acknowledge that I’m a success, not a disappointment.’

I put my hand gently on his arm. ‘Jack, they’re never going to do that. You have to let it go.’

He sighed. ‘I know you’re right. It’s just so frustrating. I’ve always been second best and I’m sick of it.’

‘They’re so arrogant with their master-of-the-hospital this and head-of-department that, and their weird Mensa child. Who the hell wants to be like them? They’re miserable. Grace is a freak. Who wants to play chess all day at six years of age?’

‘Mummy, does the African American Queen dance on the stripy dance-floor with the White King?’ our own little genius asked from the back seat.

Jack and I looked at one another and roared laughing.

4

Julie

I never got a chance to find out Louise’s news: just after I came downstairs to drag the boys away from the Christmas tree, Sophie and Jack arrived and I didn’t get Louise on my own again. I was dying to know what it was. Even though she looked perfect as always – gorgeous wrap dress, bobbed black hair immaculately blow-dried, her makeup subtle but artfully applied – she seemed really freaked out, and Louise was never fazed by anything. She was the most capable person I knew. That was why I had asked her to look after the money Dad had given me. I’d known she’d invest it wisely and after three years it was already worth €12,000 more than it had been when I’d passed it over to her.

I was going to use the money to put the boys through private school. Harry earned enough to cover our mortgage, bills and day-to-day living, but we’d never be able to afford a private education for four on his salary, so I really needed that money. I’d worked it out – at €2,000 a term, by three terms per year, by six years, by four children, it would cost €144,000. And that was just the fees: it didn’t account for any extra-curricular activities or uniforms or school trips. I really needed to make Dad’s money work, and I knew Louise was the best person to help me do it.

I tried to catch her eye so we could sneak out for a minute, but she avoided me. I’d have to grab her later, when the others were distracted. We sat down in the lounge to give out the presents to the kids and chaos ensued. While we weren’t looking, Luke took a strawberry cream from the box of Milk Tray, decided he didn’t like it and squashed it into the DVD player. Leo and Liam thought this was great fun, and by the time I noticed, half of the chocolates had been crushed into the DVD player. I yanked the boys away and made them sit on the other side of the room while I surreptitiously tried to scoop the melted sweets out of the machine. I knew Dad would freak if he saw the mess. He was very proud of his new 37-inch flat-screen TV and recordable DVD player.

Thankfully, he was distracted by the present Jack and Sophie had given him and Mum: a weekend trip to Spain to play on the Valderrama golf course. They were delighted.

‘What a wonderful gift! Oh, my goodness, we’ll have a ball. You’re so good, Jack, thank you.’ Mum got up to kiss her favourite son-in-law.

Harry, who was gingerly giving Tom another bottle, hoping it wouldn’t end up all over him, rolled his eyes.

‘Far too generous, Jack. Above and beyond. Thank you very much,’ Dad said, looking a bit embarrassed.

‘It’s nothing,’ Jack assured him. ‘I’ve had a pretty spectacular year and we wanted to get you something special. When you make crazy money, you might as well enjoy it.’

‘You’re both so kind.’ Mum kissed Sophie too. ‘What did your husband get you?’

Sophie showed her the watch. Mum gasped. ‘It’s magnificent.’

‘He really spoilt me today.’

‘What was last year’s diamond necklace? A trinket?’ Harry grumbled.

I pinched his arm. ‘Ssh.’

‘He can’t hear me, Julie. He’s too busy telling your parents how much money he made.’

‘He can’t help being loaded,’ I reminded my husband.

‘Do you think Jack had a good year?’ Louise whispered, failing to suppress a grin.

‘I’m not sure, Louise. It’s very hard to tell,’ Harry drawled, getting up to change Tom’s nappy.

‘I know – he’s so subtle.’

‘The watch is pretty incredible,’ I said.

‘It’s completely over the top.’ Louise snorted. ‘They live in suburban Dublin, not Beverly Hills. You could clear the debt of an African country with the money he spent on that.’

Sophie got up to take Jess to the toilet and Jack went to talk to the triplets. He was good with the boys: he knew how to talk to them on their level.

Mum came over to where we were sitting. ‘Did you hear what they gave us?’

‘Yes, it’s great,’ I enthused.

‘I’ve always wanted to play in Valderrama. And look,’ she pointed to the brochure, ‘they’ve booked us into a suite. Can you imagine? It must have cost a fortune. Sophie did well for herself, marrying someone so generous. She’s so successful.’

‘At what exactly?’ Louise asked. ‘Spending her husband’s money?’

Mum frowned. ‘At everything she does – at modelling and at her marriage. You might take a leaf out of her book. She knows how to get a man and keep him happy. Jack adores her.’

‘Come on, Mum,’ Louise said, ‘you don’t measure someone’s success by the size of their husband’s wallet. It relates to personal achievement.’

‘And some people put far too much emphasis on career success and not enough on romantic success,’ Mum snapped.

Mum and Louise had always fought. I think Mum was a bit intimidated by her eldest daughter. Louise had been difficult to parent when she was a teenager. She was constantly challenging Mum on everything and she never backed down: Louise was always right. She’d been fiercely independent and unemotional. From the age of about thirteen, Louise hadn’t needed parents. At school she’d made all her own decisions and waged all her own battles. She’d mellowed a bit as she got older, but her relationship with Mum had always been fraught. In fact, the only person who really saw her softer side was me: we were close in age – there were only twenty months between us – and we wanted completely different things from life so there was no competitive edge. We’d also shared a bedroom growing up, so she’d got used to confiding in me.

Thankfully, she also listened to me, and her Christmas presents for the boys were very welcome. She’d bought them the full set of Peter Rabbit books by Beatrix Potter.

‘Boring!’ Leo said.

‘Rabbits are for babies.’ Liam pouted.

‘That’s not a present,’ Luke announced.

‘Yes, it is,’ I hissed. ‘Say thank you to your auntie Louise.’

‘Books are not presents.’ Luke dug his heels in.

‘Yes, they are,’ I reminded him. ‘Say thank you, now.’ I gave him my do-not-mess-with-me-or-you-will-never-watch-TV-again stare.

‘Thank you,’ he mumbled.

There was no lack of enthusiasm when Sophie gave them her present. But it left me in a rage. I had asked her repeatedly to get the boys something small because we had no space, but she had produced three remote-control monster trucks. I know I shouldn’t get annoyed about my sister’s generosity but, unlike her, we didn’t have a playroom so the bloody trucks would end up in the TV room or the kitchen. She always does it: every year she has to buy the biggest, most over-the-top presents. It drives me nuts. We know Jack’s loaded. We get it.

‘Monster trucks!’ the triplets shouted. ‘AWESOME!’ They ripped the boxes open and began to play with them straight away, crashing them into Mum’s sideboard. Meanwhile Jess sat quietly in the corner playing with the Sylvanian dolls I’d given her. Every now and then a truck would hit her leg and she’d retreat even further into the corner. She was terrified of the triplets.

The door opened and Gavin strolled in, smelling strongly of natural body odour.

‘God, you stink,’ Louise told him, as he hugged her.

‘You really do,’ Sophie agreed. ‘I’m not sitting beside you until you wash.’

He looked to me for support. ‘Sorry, you do smell nasty,’ I admitted.

‘Great to see you too, girls,’ Gavin exclaimed.

‘Get up the stairs, have a quick shower and change before dinner. It’ll be ready in ten minutes,’ Mum told him. ‘I’ve laid out some clothes for you and bought the nice shower gel and moisturizer that you like.’

While our eco-warrior washed, we girls went into the kitchen to help Mum. I brought Tom with me.

‘Sophie, that dress is so stylish. What make is it?’ Mum asked.

‘Prada,’ Sophie said, nibbling a carrot.

‘You look like a super-model in it. I swear you get younger looking all the time.’ Mum was unaware of Sophie’s fondness for Botox. She didn’t believe in cosmetic surgery, and honestly thought Sophie’s reverse-ageing was due to expensive creams.

‘Yes, Sophie, how do you do it? How do you manage to look so young?’ Louise asked, as Sophie glared at her. ‘I’m sorry, are you frowning at me? It’s hard to tell.’

‘Our very own Benjamin Button.’ I laughed.

‘I don’t know what you’re laughing about.’ Mum waved a fork at me. ‘You could take a leaf out of Sophie’s book. I know you’re busy with the boys, but you need to smarten yourself up, Julie. Women have to keep themselves in shape or their husbands start looking around.’

‘Gee, thanks, Mum. So not only do I look like crap but Harry’s going to leave me now too.’

‘I’m only saying –’

‘Mum!’ Louise cut across her. ‘Julie’s doing her best. Give her a break.’

‘I know I need to lose weight. I know I look a hundred and fifty and I know my clothes are permanently covered in yoghurt or banana, but that’s my life right now. There’s no point wearing expensive clothes. They’d get wrecked.’ As if to demonstrate the point, Tom rubbed his snotty nose into my jumper.

‘Why don’t you get one of those au pairs and give yourself a break?’ Mum suggested.

‘Where the hell would she sleep? The triplets are in the big bedroom and Tom is in the box room. We don’t have space for an au pair.’

‘There’s no need to get het up. I’m only trying to help.’ Mum turned to drain the Brussels sprouts.

But you’re not helping, I thought. You could help by offering to babysit once in a blue moon. You could try not to look so horrified every time I call in with the kids. You could stop nagging me about my weight. You could stop telling me how perfect Sophie is and how beautiful her house and her clothes are. You could stop telling me that my kids are out of control. You could stop telling me that I should have had my Fallopian tubes tied after the triplets …

I tuned back to the conversation.

‘Honestly, Julie, you’re lucky Harry’s parents are dead,’ Sophie said. ‘Jack’s family are a nightmare. They’re so bloody superior. I hate going there. That bitch Fiona always tries to make me feel like a loser because I don’t work.’

‘She’s just been made head of radiology at RCH, hasn’t she?’ Mum asked.

Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, yes, we heard all about it. And Grace is getting tested for Mensa. When I told them about Louise being a member they nearly fell over. They couldn’t believe that I – bimbo – had a genius sister.’

‘I hope you told them she went to Cambridge,’ I said.

‘Of course I did.’

‘And that she’s a partner in Higgins, Cooper & Gray.’

‘I forgot that bit. I can never remember the name of the company.’

‘I’ve only been there twenty years,’ Louise muttered.

‘Oh, you know I can never remember names.’ Sophie waved her wine glass in the air.

‘Did they see your watch?’ Mum asked.

‘No, I took it off. I didn’t want them to say anything rude about it. They were so mean about Jack’s car. Have you seen it? It’s an Aston Martin DB9 Volante. It’s so cool – it’s like a James Bond car!’

‘Wow, that’s great,’ I said, willing myself to be happy for her and trying not to compare it to my horrid people-carrier.

‘She can remember some names, like Aston Martin DB9 Volante,’ Louise whispered, and I tried not to laugh.

‘I’m sure Jack would let Harry take it for a spin,’ Sophie said. ‘He’ll probably insist on going with him, though. He’s very protective of it. It’s only two weeks old.’

I knew that Harry would rather cut his eyes out with a blunt knife than go for a drive with Jack in his 007 car. ‘Maybe later,’ I said tactfully.

The door flew open and a very red-faced Dad came in with Leo and Liam attached to each leg and Luke on his back. ‘Can we eat soon? I’m starving. These fellas have me worn out,’ he said.

‘It’s ready now.’ Mum handed him the carving knife as I pulled the boys off. I bribed them with sweets and a new
Ben 10
DVD. We’d hopefully get half an hour of peace to eat while it was on.

We all helped bring out the food and sat down at the table, with the newly washed and fragrant-smelling Gavin. Just as we were about to tuck in, the doorbell rang.

‘Who could that be on Christmas Day?’ Mum asked.

‘Oh, yeah, Mum, I forgot to tell you,’ Gavin said, stuffing a forkful of food into his mouth as he stood up. ‘Forest is coming for dinner – he had nowhere else to go and I knew you wouldn’t want anyone to be alone on Christmas Day.’ He rushed out to open the door before Mum could tell him exactly what she thought of that idea.

Forest came into the room and dropped his knapsack on the floor. If Gavin had smelt bad, Forest was ten times worse. After a cursory hello, he squeezed in between Sophie and Jack, while Louise and I tried not to laugh. Sophie took out her perfume and sprayed herself and most of Forest’s head.

Dad handed him a full plate. ‘Get that into you, son. You look like you haven’t eaten in years.’

‘Thanks, Mr Devlin, but I’m a strict vegan like Gavin.’ We turned to look at Gavin, who quickly swallowed the large slice of turkey in his mouth.

‘Give that here.’ Mum grabbed the plate, scraped off the turkey and ham and handed it back with just Brussels sprouts and roast potatoes. She did the same with Gavin’s.

Forest dived in. ‘This tastes very good, Mrs Devlin. I’ve been surviving on a diet of nuts and berries.’

‘Where was that?’ Dad enquired. ‘The Gobi desert?’

Harry choked on his wine.

‘Actually, no, although that is somewhere I would like to visit. I’ve been tree-sitting in the UK, in the New Forest. I just came home for a few days to regroup.’

‘Are you not worried that the tree’ll be murdered while you’re back here?’ Dad wondered.

‘No. I’ve left my sister in it.’

‘Your parents must be delighted to have two tree-sitters in the family.’ Dad winked at us. ‘Gavin, maybe you could persuade one of your sisters to do a relay with you in the golf club. I’d say Sophie’s your best bet.’

‘Dad!’ Gavin warned him.

‘Is it something you’d like to get involved in?’ the oblivious Forest asked Sophie.

‘Excuse the pun, but you’re barking up the wrong tree there, mate.’ Jack roared laughing.

‘Would you consider yourself an observant person?’ Louise asked Forest.

‘Absolutely, never miss a trick.’