Meant for You (6 page)

They may only have this one night. When the sun came up and Ethan drove away, all she would have was this memory, so she'd be damned if she was going to waste time sleeping when she could be enjoying one of the sexiest men she had ever known, ever wanted. Ever had.

Sleep was highly overrated.

* * *

Ethan was getting dressed as he looked down at Summer sprawled across the bed, the blankets barely covering her. He was exhausted, but it was the best kind of exhaustion he had ever experienced. He looked at his watch and saw that it was ten o'clock. If he was going to make sure the jet took off on time, he really needed to get to the airport and oversee things. There was no way he could afford to be away any longer. Luckily he was fairly organized and all of his packing for the climb was already done; he was just going to need to put some last-minute stuff together and grab a nap.

He smiled. There had been a time when he had made fun of people who couldn't handle a night out and needed a nap the next day. Now he was proud of the fact that he was one of them.

“You're looking pretty smug right now,” Summer said sleepily from the bed. At the sound of her voice, Maylene perked up and rose from her bed on the floor. With a quick shake and stretch, she jumped up beside Summer and began to bounce around her. “I wish I had her energy.”

Ethan chuckled. “Don't we all.” He thought it would be awkward, the whole morning-after thing, but as Summer rose gloriously naked from the bed, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. “Let me,” he said and walked over to get the dog's leash and got her hooked up. “We'll be right back.” Honestly, the last thing he needed to be doing was taking her dog for a walk; he needed to leave and get to the airport. So what was he doing this for?

“Because you're trying to drag out the inevitable,” he muttered to himself once outside the tepee. He knew he had to leave; he just didn't want to.

The dog skipped along the grounds, happy to be outside. Ethan wished he felt that way. The weather was a little cooler than he'd expected, and Ethan was glad for his jacket. When the dog needed to stop and sniff practically every blade of grass, Ethan grew impatient. “Let's go, dog,” he said firmly, and then could have kicked himself when her big, sad eyes looked back at him. “Sorry.”

He was seriously losing it. He was a man's man; he did extreme sports, for crying out loud, and here he was apologizing to a five-pound dog because he wanted to go back inside a tepee where it was warm.

Yup, seriously losing it.

Finally, the dog did what she had to do and, with a jaunty little hop, headed back in the direction of her waiting mistress. Ethan knew exactly how she felt; he wanted to be back there too.

Summer was waiting for them in bed. She got up to fill the dog bowl, and once Maylene was off her leash and happily eating, Summer turned her attention to Ethan. “Thank you for taking her out. You didn't have to.”

“I was dressed,” he said, taking a step closer to her.

“Well, it was very sweet of you and I appreciate it.” As she stepped closer, Summer wrapped her arms around Ethan's shoulders and smiled up into his face. “Good morning,” she said softly.

“Good morning,” he responded right before lowering his head to hers and kissing her the way he had been aching to do. In the back of his mind, Ethan knew it was wrong; it would have been better to make a clean break and not indulge in this again. The night was over and so was…everything. He needed to leave, to take the memory of last night and be thankful they had it. But her lips were so soft, her body so yielding…

Summer was the one who pulled back first. “If we keep this up, you'll miss your flight.”

His gaze was intense as he looked down at her. “I'm the only passenger. They'll wait.” Wait…what was he saying? What was he doing? For crying out loud, she was giving him the nudge he needed and he wasn't taking it.
Get
it
together, Reed!
he chided himself. With a growl, his hands reached up and anchored themselves in her long, blond hair and tightened their grip as he gave her one last fierce kiss. It wasn't fair. In a perfect world, this kiss would signify a temporary good-bye. He'd see her again, be able to make love to her again as soon as he got back from Denali.

But this? This was a last kiss. One that signified an ending. They wouldn't get another chance. There would be no reunion when he got back. Pouring everything he had into it, Ethan heard Summer whimper with her own need. If she asked him not to go, if she simply asked him to stay, Ethan was certain he'd cave. The plane would leave later, and he would have another couple of hours with her to get him through a lifetime.

But she didn't ask.

When he lifted his head, their breathing was ragged. Summer's eyes were glazed with passion, and he was sorely tempted to scoop her up into his arms, walk back over to the bed, and lay her bare to him.

But he didn't.

“I have to go.” The words felt wrong even as he forced them out.

Summer nodded. “I know.”

“Summer…I…”

She placed a finger over his lips as she had earlier. “Don't say anything, Ethan. I know you can't make any promises, and I certainly don't want to hear you have any regrets.”

He shook his head. “No. I don't regret last night. I'm only sorry that it's all we have.”

While it was killing her on the inside, Summer stood tall and refused to let him see how his words were affecting her. “I know. Me too.”

They stood staring at one another for long moments.

“Be safe,” Summer finally said.

They weren't the last words Ethan wanted to hear, but he knew better than to tempt fate. With a nod, he turned and strode from the room. Cramming himself into the tiny rental car, he pulled away and did his best not to look back.

It was over; they'd had their night and no one had to know.

But he knew.

And Summer knew.

The flight home was a breeze. Ethan was back at his own place a little before one in the afternoon, and after taking a quick inventory of what he still needed to do before meeting up with Zach, he crawled into bed for a short two-hour nap.

During which he dreamed of Summer.

“This is not good,” he muttered when he woke up. His head needed to be clear; he needed to focus on the climb and on getting back to business as usual. Zach knew him too well and would be able to tell immediately if Ethan's head wasn't in the game. The bedside clock showed it to be almost four. He was supposed to meet Zach at the airport at seven. The nap had refreshed him, but as Ethan climbed into the shower, he conceded that another twelve hours of sleep would have been better.

The town car arrived on schedule and was loaded up. Everything was shut off and good to go in Ethan's condo. One of his neighbors was going to keep an eye on things for the three and a half weeks he'd be gone. Looking around one last time, Ethan closed and locked the door behind him and headed to the airport. What had seemed like a relatively short trip now loomed in front of him with no end in sight.

Why was he doing this? Did he even want to go? It was a little late to be having second thoughts now, but the more Ethan thought about it, the more he realized something. For far too long, he had simply gone along with things his buddies were doing rather than figuring out what
he
wanted to do. When had he become more of a follower than a leader? Resting his head back, Ethan sighed. This was so not the time for this kind of introspection.

They made great time getting to the airport, and before he knew it, Ethan was standing with Zach and listening to how excited he was about the climb. Ethan tried to respond appropriately. From what he could tell, Zach was none the wiser. It wasn't until they were actually on the plane that Zach asked about his sister.

“So did Summer give you grief about this trip?”

Ethan shrugged. “It was the same stuff she's been saying for weeks. She's just worried about you, Zach. Cut her a break.”

“Look, I appreciate that she's concerned, but she's never paid any attention to the trips I've taken before or even the risks I've taken before. She's just up in arms over it because this is the first time she's been close by when I've been getting ready to go. Believe me, if Summer had lived closer to me in the last couple of years, she would have been all up in my business about my hobbies. The skydiving? The race car driving? Running with the bulls? If she had even been remotely aware that I was going on
those
trips, she would have been the exact same way. She's a worrier.”

Ethan wasn't so sure. He'd known Summer for far too long. There were too many times when he and Zach had been around the Montgomerys and talked about their adventures with Summer right there, and she'd never once made a negative comment. If anything, she had been excited by the stories. This was different. He shook his head. Maybe she was onto something. Maybe this trip was more about ego than anything else. He glanced over at Zach, who was busy chatting up the flight attendant. Typical.

Zach smiled appreciatively as he watched the curvy brunette walk away before turning back to Ethan. “Like I told you yesterday, I promise to spend some time with Summer when we get back. I'll even try to be nice and not pick on her for being such a royal pain in my butt over this trip or pressure her about moving back east.” They were interrupted again by the flight attendant as she served them their drinks.

“So was it awkward when you went in there all hell-bent on confronting a guy and ended up face-to-face with a puppy?” Zach barely contained his laughter at his own question.

Ethan grimaced at the memory. “It wasn't one of my finest moments,” he said with a shake of his head. He told Zach how Summer had tried to play it off as another woman before finally introducing him to the dog.

“Is it wrong that I'm majorly relieved that it was a dog?” Zach asked.

“Not at all. I can't tell you how relieved I was.” He took a sip of his beverage. “Cute little thing; she'll be a nice distraction for your sister.”

“Remind me to buy it a hundred pounds of doggie treats if that's the case,” Zach said with a laugh before holding up his glass to Ethan's. “Cheers, buddy. Here's to another great adventure!”

Ethan toasted, but he wasn't really feeling it.

* * *

It was after midnight by the time they checked in, and Ethan was alone in his hotel room, alone with his thoughts. After the conversation about Summer, Zach had talked nonstop about the climb. Realistically, Ethan knew he was prepared; he had been training for six months and had purchased all of the gear the guides had recommended. If there was anything he was missing, he'd be surprised. The problem wasn't skill or preparedness though; the problem was him. He didn't want to go. The prospect no longer appealed, and he couldn't really be sure if this was something that had been building up in him for some time or just within the last twenty-four hours.

Because of Summer.

Pacing the confines of the plush hotel room, Ethan wracked his brain for a way out. There was no way he could fake an illness or an injury—Zach would see right through that. If he came right out and admitted he didn't want to go, he had no doubt Zach would talk to him until his ears bled and he'd have to cave and go anyway just to shut Zach up. There was no way to fake a work emergency either, because they worked together. From every angle, he was screwed. And not just kind of screwed, but royally screwed. He was stuck going on a three-week hike up a mountain he really didn't want to climb just so someone else would be happy.

But
are
you
deciding
not
to
go
on
the
trip
for
the
same
reason?

He hated when his inner voice decided to chime in. There was no easy answer to this dilemma, but if Ethan had to choose, he'd say he felt stronger about not going on the climb than he did about going on it. That was saying something, right? Now he just had to figure out how he was going to break it to Zach.

Cursing, he flopped down on the king-size bed. When had life gotten so damn difficult? How had he let things get this far out of control? If he didn't go with Zach, Ethan knew he'd still need a little time away from work—time to try to get his head together and figure out what he was doing with his life and where he wanted to see himself in the next five years.

The immediate answer was that he wanted to see himself with Summer. Unfortunately, there were at least a half-dozen Montgomery males who were not going to be happy about it and even if he stood his ground, Ethan knew they wouldn't make it easy for him. While he felt deep down that Summer was worth the fight, would the constant fight with her family be something she could survive? Family meant everything to her; that was one thing Ethan was certain about. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he caused discord between them.

This was clearly a no-win scenario.

“Nothing is going to get decided tonight,” he muttered, rising from the bed and going through his luggage for his toiletries. “A hot shower and a full night's sleep will make things clearer in the morning.” Even he didn't believe his own words.

Within minutes, he was under the hot spray, and automatically his mind wandered back to Summer. He wanted to call her, to make sure that she and Maylene were okay. He worried about her making the drive back to Portland by herself. Why hadn't she taken the company jet? It was lucky for him that she hadn't; otherwise, he would have had to make the long drive solo, but it bothered him to know that, should anything happen, she was a single woman all alone with no one to protect her except a five-pound pug.

Not a comforting thought.

When the water turned cold, he stepped out, wrapped himself in a towel, and went in search of his phone. What harm could one phone call make? They were friends, weren't they?
Friends
who
had
incredibly
hot
and
wild
sex
less
than
twenty-four hours ago.
“Oh, shut up,” he told himself. “Don't think about the sex. Think of her as your best friend's sister. She's Summer Montgomery—a friend. Not Summer Montgomery, the sexy woman who blew your mind with her hands, her mouth, and her body.” Great, now he was hard. There was no way he could call Summer while sporting a raging hard-on. Cursing himself again, Ethan walked back into the bathroom, finished drying off, and crawled back into bed, all the while willing himself to focus on the ESPN show he was watching and not imagining there was a curvy blond sprawled out beside him, reminding him he'd been a fool to leave.

* * *

“You're joking, right?”

Ethan shook his head and Zach cursed.

“This is because of Summer, isn't it?” He cursed again even as Ethan tried to speak. “You were fine with this trip until you went to see her! What the hell, man? You're here, you're packed, and we're all set! You can't just bail!”

Ethan expected the rage; he just didn't know how to make it better. “To be honest, I haven't been sure about it for a while. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to bum you out, and I thought I'd get more excited about it by the time we got here, but…I'm just not. My head isn't in it and I don't want to be a liability for the team.”

“Bullshit,” Zach spat, shoving a finger hard into Ethan's chest. “She got in your head. I freaking knew it. I should have stuck to my original plan. I should have been the one to go because I would have been stronger. You've always had a weakness for her. Maybe because you're an only child and she's like a sister to you, but believe me, whatever she said, she's wrong.”

Now it was Ethan's turn to be filled with rage. “Do you think I'm not capable of making a decision on my own? Is that what you're telling me?” he snapped.

“All I'm saying—”

“Don't even!” Ethan interrupted. “You think because I spent some time talking to your sister that now, all of a sudden, I've decided not to go on the climb? What the hell do you take me for?”

“That's the thing, Ethan, I don't even know! You never once mentioned not wanting to go! We trained together, met with the guides together, and got our supplies together. What do you expect me to think? Not once did I see a hint of hesitation until all of this nonsense with Summer!”

“It isn't nonsense!” Ethan declared firmly, realizing as he spoke that it was true. “This is about me. I'm a grown man, and I don't owe you or anyone else an explanation for the decisions I make. This whole climb was your idea, and to be honest with you, I don't think you should be going either. Summer only confirmed what we all already know—you're not physically ready for something like this. Personally, I think you're crazy. You're going to be a liability to the group, but you refuse to see it or admit it. If this is something you want to do, then do it, but don't give me grief because I don't live my life exactly the way you live yours.” There was both a dare in his words and a hint of finality.

Zach was silent for several moments before he stalked away about a dozen feet and came back. “Why didn't you say anything before?”

“Would it have made a difference?” Ethan didn't wait for an answer. “You're hell-bent on doing this, on proving that you can do this. I don't think it's necessary. I've got nothing to prove here.”

“I don't know what to say,” Zach said, his tone quieter, calmer than it had been minutes ago.

“You could say that you understand what we've all been saying and that you'll wait until next year when your leg is stronger.”

He shook his head. “I…I can't. I know I can do this, Ethan. I'd prefer to be doing this with you.”

“It's not gonna happen. I'm not going.” His words were simple and honest.

“You're sure about this?”

Ethan nodded.

“What are you going to do? Go back to Portland?”

“No. I'm going to take the time to relax. It's been a long time since I've had an opportunity just to chill out,” Ethan said.

Zach wanted to be mad; everything in him told him to do whatever it took to make Ethan change his mind. But one real look at his friend and he knew it was pointless. Whatever his reasons, Zach knew Ethan's decision to skip the climb was weighing heavily on him. So rather than rage at him some more, he did the only thing he knew how. “Lame. Very, very lame. You going to have some spa time? Maybe get a pedicure and facial while you're at it?”

Ethan smiled. “Depends.”

“On?”

“On whether or not I'm allowed one of those fruity drinks with an umbrella while I'm getting my toes polished.”

* * *

Being the ever-supportive friend, Ethan showed up on the morning of the climb to wish Zach luck. He waited for the regret to kick in, or at least a sense of doubt, but it never came. That was all the proof Ethan needed to know he had made the right choice. All of his gear was at the hotel, so it wouldn't have taken long to go get it if he had been so inclined, but the truth was, his heart had never fully been in the trip. He had agreed to the climb in the first place out of habit; Zach normally came up with the idea for the adventure, and Ethan always jumped on board.

Until now.

What did that mean? What did that say about the state of his life? Was he that much of a follower all this time? Being strong-minded and independent were character traits Ethan had prided himself on; was that pride misplaced?

After Zach and the team took off, Ethan allowed himself the luxury of a couple of days at the hotel with no interaction with the outside world. He didn't call the office to let them know he wasn't going on the climb. If anyone knew he was available, he would no doubt lose the time to himself that he'd gained. The staff was efficient, but they took certain comfort in his approval.