Meant to Be (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (8 page)

“Are you all right?” Beth asked.

She nodded and pointed to the closed door of the director’s office. “I’m, um, just waiting to see Carolyn.” She bit her lip. “For my exit interview.”

“Already? You’ve only been here a couple of weeks.” The average stay was thirty days but could be, and often was, extended.

As if she was unable to stand up anymore, Mary dropped down on one of the couches. Beth took a seat across from her on a matching chair. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I been talkin’ to Bobby. I know I’m not supposed to, but I have.”

Beth didn’t need to hear to the rest of the explanation Mary would give; it was so common.
He’s sorry. He says he’ll never do it again. He’ll get help if I just come back. Give him another chance.

Still, Beth let Mary have her say and listened attentively. She knew it wasn’t her place to talk the woman into staying. The counselors here drew clear lines, knowing the woman had to initiate all actions to break ties with her abuser. “I hope all that’s true.”

“You don’t think it is, do you?”

She
could
give her opinion. “Honestly, I’m afraid it’s not. Statistics show most men in these situations don’t change.”

Mary waved to encompass the shelter. “The counselors here said that, too.” Her eyes filled. “But I still love him. I want my life back.”

Carolyn’s door opened. With her was a petite woman sporting the worst-looking black eye Beth had ever seen. The girl smiled at Carolyn and said, “Thanks.” Ducking her head shyly, she walked down the hall.

“Oh, hi, Beth.” Carolyn turned to the other woman. “Mary, you ready to talk?”

“Uh-huh.” Impulsively, she reached up and hugged Beth. “Thanks for everything.”

“Good luck, Mary.”

Beth had taken three calls on the hotline—one with Social Services, one with a nurse whose doctor husband was beating her up and one with a private psychologist who wanted the shelter counselors to talk to a client of hers. She was waiting for the call from that client when Carolyn walked in the office.

Dropping down on a chair, she took a bead on Beth. “We can’t save them all, Beth.”

“I know. I just feel bad.”

“That’s all right. We all feel bad when a client leaves to go back to her abuser. But it’s the way with them.”

“He won’t change.”

“Statistics support that.” Carolyn leaned over and squeezed her hand. “But she’s not ready to get him out of her life. When she is, I told her we’d be here for her.”

A swell of admiration surged through Beth. “You’re a saint.”

Carolyn snorted. “Will wouldn’t say that.” Her husband, whom she talked about fondly.

“Will’s a lucky guy.”

It wasn’t until Beth was driving home that something occurred to her. She’d been unable to stop thinking about Mary returning to a situation where she was bound to get hurt. She’d always wondered why women did that. She knew intellectually the cycle of battering, but in her heart, she hadn’t understood how women could make the decision to stay with a man after he’d treated her badly.

But hadn’t she made a similar decision Sunday? Hadn’t she’d gone back to a man who’d lied to her and agreed to try a life that was doomed to failure?

No, no, it wasn’t the same thing. Cole would cut off his hand before he’d hurt her.

He
has
hurt you Beth. What’s more he’s put you in an impossible position.

The notion depressed her.

o0o

In Beth’s boat, Cole let the wind ruffle over him as he watched Beth at the helm. Dressed in white pants and a windbreaker, like him, she stood straight—stiff—as the breeze played tug-of-war with all that hair. He’d covered his with a ball cap, but she’d said she liked going without a hat.

As the boat slapped hard against the water, sending up spray, she glanced over her shoulder. “Doing okay there?” She looked healthy today, her cheeks ruddy. And she seemed rested. But there was no sparkle in her eyes.

“Doing great. Want me to take over for you? I have driven a boat, you know.”

“Nope. I’m good.”

He’d heard this all week.
I’m good…I’m fine…Really, this is okay…

Now she was the one who was lying. After the awkwardness of Sunday morning and the monumental decisions they’d made, he’d wanted to make love while Ellie had slept, but she’d refused. Her excuse was that the baby could awaken any minute.
Believe me, that isn’t a pretty sight when a kid starts squalling right in the middle of your big moment.

He’d laughed as she’d apparently wanted him to, tried to brush off the meaning of the comment and planned a time to see her alone. They should be starting out slowly, anyway, and Ellie didn’t have to be with them all the time. So they’d made the date for this Wednesday morning.

She swerved the boat into a little cove and slowed the engine. “Want to stop here for breakfast?”

“Love to. I’m starved.”

When she cut the engine, the silence, the absence of the roar of the motor, was shocking. After she tossed down the anchor, she came up to him and slid her arms around his waist. Leaned into him. Comforted him with her body. “You look cute dressed up as a sailor.”

“Thanks, Cap.” He squeezed her bottom. “You look cute, too.”

They unfolded a table, which was tucked away between the seats, then Beth unloaded the picnic basket she’d brought along. She drew out sweet rolls and inhaled their scent. “Hmm. They smell delicious. Our cook took them out of the oven before we left.”

He watched her lay out Canadian bacon, kept in a hot container, buttered toast and orange juice along with the rolls. She poured steaming coffee out of a thermos and handed him a cup. “This is nice, Beth, thanks.”

They ate heartily and drank more coffee. Then she focused on him. “I hate that we’re being so polite to each other.”

“I know what you mean. There’s a strain between us.”

Grasping his hand, she kissed his fingers. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Talking doesn’t seem to help, does it?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry I feel awkward about your daughter.”

Ellie. Say her name.
“I know. It was nice of you to ask her to come along.”

He’d said no, of course, thinking of all the rigmarole involved in taking Ellie to the mall, let alone bring her on a boat. “She loves to go to mom and dad’s house. And they don’t get her enough for their liking.”

“Grandparents. I know the feeling. I try to have Mariel once a week, but Ava’s got a schedule and doesn’t want to veer too much from it.”

“I’m not big on schedules.”

Her smile was real. “I wasn’t, either. I wonder if that’s why Ava is. You never know with kids.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard, talking about her.”

“It wasn’t.”

Sliding his arm around her, Cole took her mouth. The kiss was slow and gentle, lazy as the boat rocked, the sun beat down. When he pulled back, her eyes were glazed. “I’ve missed you. It seems like forever since that Sunday in the motel.”

She blushed, buried her head in his chest. “We were like animals.”

He kissed her head. “Want to go play down below, tiger?”

She nodded, then stood. Taking his hand, she led him to the steps that went to the boat’s quarters.

“It’s small,” she said when they reached the interior.

He grasped her around the waist and drew her to him. “I don’t care. All I want is you.”

She whispered, “All I want is you, too, Cole.”

He tried not to read meaning into her words. Not to think they excluded Ellie. He managed to banish the thought as they reached the bed and she drew him down to it.

o0o

The clock struck midnight as Beth walked the floor of Ava’s family room with Mariel. The area was huge with plush carpet, skylights and a fireplace. Now only a small lamp lit a corner and the sliver of moon peaked through. “Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay. I know you feel bad.”

The child burrowed into her. “Mama.”

“I know you want her, love. But Mama’s dead on her feet.”

Beth wished Ava had called her before ten o’clock tonight. Her daughter had been up for thirty-six hours with a sick baby and had a husband who was out of town at a medical conference. Ava had given in and phoned Beth when she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. Beth had arrived an hour ago, sent the poor girl right to bed and brought Ava down here.

Picking up a bottle, she sat in the rocker. “Let’s try some milk, again.” Though Ava had breast fed Mariel for a year, Mariel still took a bottle once in a while. Beth tried to get the nipple in her mouth. But the child spit it out and wailed.

So she tried to sing to Mariel and it quieted her. They rocked in silence and Beth’s thoughts turned to another baby the same age as Mariel.

Tell me about having Ellie. What was it like when you first got her?

Oh, Lord. I felt as if I was dropped onto a different planet. I worried all the time if I was doing the right thing. Finally, my mom sat me down and told me just to go on my instinct.

Did it work?

Yeah, for the most part. But I made some mistakes.
He spoke as if he’d committed high crimes.

All parents make mistakes. Tell me one.

I rock her to sleep. Every single time, and make babysitters do it, too. I, um, started it, because when I first got her, I couldn’t bear to hear her cry.

And now?

He shrugged.
I don’t know. I haven’t even tried stopping.

She’d laughed at him then, glad the ice was broken about Ellie.…

The baby in her arms squirmed again, raised her head, and screamed like a banshee.

Jesus, Beth had forgotten how awful kids could be at this age when they didn’t feel good.

The thought unnerved her.

o0o

Cole sat at his desk as he read Sabrina’s email about the predator. They’d identified him as Ernesto Street? As in Bruce Springsteen’s band? Or was the name for real? As far as they knew, it was. The guy had sent RightMatch.com a paper check under that name and address, and had been verified by BeenChecked.com. But the nomenclature bothered Cole. Given what had been happening, Cole had good reason to be worried. Carrie Lawson, the woman who’d complained, had told the man to back off; their lawyer had written a letter stating the same, but now Carrie was worried he’d gotten on to the site with an alias and connected with her. His phraseology and some similarities in his background led Carrie to worry this new suitor, Alonzo, was Ernesto, her stalker.

The doorbell rang, pulling Cole out of his work, and in walked Joe. He’d asked his cop brother to stop over sometime today. Spence thought Cole was making too much of this one incident, but Joe didn’t.

Heading for the kitchen he said, “Hey, buddy. I’m getting a cola. Want one?”

“Sure.”

In a minute, Joe dropped down beside him.

“Snazzy suit,” Cole commented as he took a can of cola from Joe.

“Dana picked it out. For some reason, she likes to go shopping with me.” There was a time, Cole knew, when Dana had hated stores, hated to be in unfamiliar places. For all she’d done for his brother, Joe had helped bring her out of her shell, too. “Besides, as a lieutenant, I should look better.” Joe had been promoted last year.

“And how is my lovely sister-in-law?”

“Don’t ask. I’ll just embarrass myself.” He rolled his eyes. “I get teary eyed whenever I feel the kid kick.”

“It’s nice to be part of it, though.”

Joe took a bead on him. “You never had the opportunity with Ellie.”

“Nah, Johanna didn’t want contact with me, but she did let me call once a month to see how she was doing. I think she didn’t want to make a big deal of the baby.” He shrugged. “Small price to pay for getting my bundle of joy.”

“You want more kids, Cole?”

“Nope.”

“You sure? Or are you just saying that because of Beth.”

Cole leaned back and sipped his brew. “Does it matter? If it works out between us, I’d never ask her to have another baby. She’s past that phase in her life. Everything’s a compromise, bro.”

“Yeah, I felt like that before we were married, too. But now we never fight. We’re always on the same page.”

“I’m glad, Joe.” And he was. He’d envied Joe and Spence having found true love but not to the point of wishing they hadn’t.

“So, tell me about you and Beth. The last I heard she said she’d try a relationship with Ellie as part of the equation.”

“We’re doing better. It’s strained because I lied. Then even more so because of what I lied about. But I think we’re making progress.”

Joe socked him in the arm. “Spence and I told you to tell the truth.”

“That you did.” In an effort not to think about the mistakes he’d made, he gestured to the computer. “Now, help me with this asshole.”

When Cole had called his brother, he’d briefed Joe on the situation. The newest thing needed more attention.

“Why does the Lawson woman think it’s the same guy?”

“Similar speech patterns in writing. Won’t talk to her on the phone. He’s demanding, like Ernesto got, too. My psychologist analyzed some of the emails and she sees similarities between the two guys.”

“Why doesn’t the woman just ditch him?”

“She tried that and it didn’t work the first time. She did start sending his emails to spam, and never writes back, but she’s concerned.”

“She could go to another site.”

“She feels safer with us. Ironic, huh?”

“No, you’re dealing with safety issues more than most sites. I did some checking. You take more precautions, different precautions, than most dating services.”

“We do our best. But no system is foolproof.”

“Why don’t you send me all the information you have about the two guys and any emails the woman saved. I’ll check out a few databases. Talk to a captain I know that everybody goes to for stalking situations. If I deem it necessary, we can call the FBI.” Who was responsible for Internet crime.

“Hey, that’d be great.” He rolled his eyes. “This is all I need to be dealing with now.”

“See, I knew you were holding back.”

“No, I’m just preoccupied with Beth.”