Meant to Be: Southern Heat Series (21 page)

“What if it’s not them? What if it’s someone I don’t know?” She didn’t want to cry, but her chest constricted as panic took root.

“Syd.” Mitch pulled her against him, and like a balm, it soothed. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He pulled back, his sharp green gaze intent on her. “I promise.”

She knew that wasn’t a promise he could keep, but the determination she saw in his eyes made her feel better. She nodded. “Okay.”

His gaze swept over her face, lingering on her lips before returning to her eyes. “You matter, Syd.”

Oh, how she wished he meant, “I love you, Syd.” But she’d take it. And she’d take him for as long as he’d have her.

T
he next morning
, Sydney woke on the floor. Disoriented, her eyes fluttered open and the memory of the night before came back to her, leaving her disappointed Mitch wasn’t there. The smell of bacon clued her in that he was making breakfast. The T-shirt Mitch had lent her the night before lay on the arm of the couch, and she smiled that he would have thought of leaving it there for her. She put it on and made her way to the kitchen.

“Hey.” His smile stunned her.

“Hey.”

“I didn’t want to wake you, but after last night, I was starving.” He waggled his brows, heating her body with desire to repeat all the sensuous things they’d done during the night.

“It smells delicious.”

“Bacon is one of the main food groups.”

She smiled knowing most people agreed. Of course, after eating it, she’d need to burn off the calories. Did they have time for Mitch to help her with that? Thinking of time, she remembered she needed to stop by her place to pick up her mail.

Before she could talk to Mitch about it, she was in his arms and he was kissing her senseless.

“Good morning.”

Breathless, she looked at him. “Good morning.”

“Did you sleep okay? I guess we fell asleep on the floor. It’s not very comfortable.”

“It’s not, but you are.”

He grinned, gave her a quick kiss, and went back to cooking breakfast. It was all very domestic, and she couldn’t remember being happier. Her ability to guard against thoughts of living in bliss with Mitch was completely gone. She knew she could get hurt and knew it would destroy her, but her love was no match for good sense. So, she had to put her faith in him and hope he could see that all they’d once dreamed of could still become reality.

Mitch helped her burn off the bacon calories while they showered. It took longer than expected, and she wasn’t able to get her mail before work. No matter. She’d stop by after.

Sydney breezed through her day, finding joy in telling a young couple they were pregnant and wondering if she’d ever have that joy with Mitch. The only blight in her life was the fact someone was out to get her. She hoped Mitch would be able to discover who it was before she or someone else was hurt again.

After work, Mitch drove her from the hospital to her place. She grabbed a few more clothes, wishing she had something seductive to pack. Maybe she’d find a lingerie store on the weekend. She stopped by her mailbox. Her box was filled, a large manila envelope taking up most of the space. Eager to get back to Mitch’s place, she stuffed the mail in her purse and went back to her car.

“Got everything you need?” He leaned against his truck, waiting for her outside her place.

He was so handsome, his green eyes shining at her. It stole her breath.

“Yes.”

He smiled, helped her in the truck and drove back to his home. This time she cooked dinner. They talked like they used to, and she felt as close to him as she had before. Did he feel the same? He never said so, but he wasn’t as guarded. It could be wishful thinking, but she wanted to believe it was love or at least affection shining in his eyes.

F
riday morning
, Sydney woke in her favorite place, Mitch’s arms. She was in trouble if she was wrong about his feelings, because she was irrevocably in love with him. All she wanted to do was live the rest of her days going to sleep and waking in his arms. Maybe they’d add a few children to the mix, children with his bronze hair and green eyes.

“What are you doing for lunch?” Mitch stood in the doorway of her office. She’d done her rounds at the hospital while Mitch had gone to visit Jenny, and he’d surprised her by showing up at her office after.

“No plans.”

He stepped into her office, shutting the door. He walked to her, pulled her from her chair, and kissed her.

“That’s a solid-looking desk you have there.” His words reverberated against her neck. As if to show her, he pushed her back until the desk pressed against her backside. He lifted her, set her on the desk, and then stepped between her legs.

“Why, officer!”

“It’s detective.” His hands slid up her legs, under her dress. “How about it? Lunch here?”

A surge of excitement shimmered through her body. “Yes.”

He pressed his palms to her cheeks. “I can’t seem to get enough of you, Doc.”

She smiled, hoping against hope his words were a declaration of something beyond an affair.

He stepped back and put her dress back in place. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

It took a few minutes for Sydney to get the fog out of her brain. Once she did, she started her day.

Her 11:40 appointment cancelled, so Sydney went to her office. Was she really going to make love to Mitch on her desk? Her cheeks heated at the idea. She knew the nurses and staff left for lunch, while the office closed for the hour. The other doctors usually did rounds. Her heart rate sped up. The old Sydney would never have had sex anywhere but in bed, and certainly not away from home. The only exception had been an interlude in a hot tub with Mitch during college. The idea of it thrilled her, even as it made her nervous. Mitch was whittling away all her inhibitions.

She decided to freshen up for his visit, pulling her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk. She opened it, looking for her compact, when she saw her mail. Thoughts of Mitch had distracted her, and she’d forgotten it. The bills could wait, so she pushed them aside. She looked at the manila envelope, recognizing the perfect handwriting of her mother. A shiver of anticipation ran up her spine. The five letters she sent were bound with a rubber band, organized by postmark, first to last. Sydney’s organizational skills clearly came from her mother. The first two envelopes had the most heft. By the last envelope, the letters were light, as if they were filled with only a single piece of paper.

She opened the first envelope, grateful that, while her mother had hidden them, she hadn’t read them. She unfolded the paper and a hard object fell out. Her engagement ring. Her breath hitched. It was a basic gold band with a single, small diamond. But the love it had represented was huge. When Mitch proposed, it had been the happiest day of her life. A few months later, it was over.

She remembered when Mitch told her if she couldn’t marry him when he got back from boot camp, then it was over. Stunned and angry, she’d given him the ring. She remembered being in a fog when she’d done it and regretting it to the point that she’d nearly chased his plane down the runway to get it back.

She slipped it on to test it. It was a little tighter but still fit. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at the diamond once again sitting where it should have been for the last ten years. Not wanting to be caught with it on, she removed it and put it back in the envelope. Then she opened the letter.

S
ydney
,

I’ve been trying to contact you, but my calls and e-mails aren’t going through. I know you’re mad, and you have every right to be. I was an idiot. I was feeling bad about being away from you and then you said you wanted to postpone the wedding, and I got angry and hurt. I said things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry. I wish I were there to make it up to you. I will make it up to you when I get back.

I don’t want to wait years to get married, but if you want to postpone the wedding for a little while, I’ll go along with it. Please put the ring back on and say you’ll marry me.

- Love, Mitch

S
ydney closed her eyes
. She’d known the letters would say something like this, but to see the words in his handwriting made her heart ache.

She opened the second letter dated three weeks after the first.

S
yd
,

Did you get my last letter? Are you angry and ignoring me? Have you given up on me? Please say you forgive me. I love you. I always will.

T
he letter went
on to describe his day and all the stuff he’d have shared if they hadn’t broken up. But, at the end, he apologized again and asked for her forgiveness.

She sat back, guilt filling her, even though it wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t responded. She was afraid to read the remaining letters, knowing that as they went on, his words would become angrier.

There was a tap on her door.

“Lunch is here.” Mitch poked his head in with a seductive grin and twinkle in his eye.

She looked at him, full of remorse for hurting him and relief that he had given her a second chance. She wiped at stray tears.

His head cocked to the side as he moved into her office. “You okay?” He looked at the letters on her desk as he entered. He was reaching out for her but stopped short. He picked up the first letter. His gaze shot to hers. In that instant, the wall was up. Anger and resentment radiated from him.

“You told me you didn’t get these.” He shook the letter at her. “You lied.”

“No—”

He tossed the letter on her desk and turned away.

“Mitch—” Panic shot through her heart.

He swung around. “To think I thought we might have a future after all.”

His words both embraced and slapped her. She hadn’t been wrong about what she’d seen in his eyes and felt in his touch. But just as he was telling her there could be more, he was taking it away.

“I can explain.”

“How you lied? How you made this all my fault when the entire time it was yours?”

Her chest tightened, making it difficult for her to breathe. His reaction wasn’t all that different from the one at the airport ten years earlier. He seethed, he raged, but he didn’t listen. Wouldn’t listen. And because he wouldn’t now, she determined it wouldn’t matter what she said.

“You should go.”

His brows shot up in surprise. “You’re not going to deny it?”

“I did deny it, but you won’t listen, and you won’t believe me anyway, so why bother?” She shook her head. Her heart was splitting in her chest, but the pain was masked by anger. “I feel sorry for you, Mitch.”

“Me? That’s rich.”

“Yes. You have so much in your life and yet you choose to keep it out because of what happened in the Middle East.”

If Mitch could kill with a single dark glare, she’d be a pile of dust. She wanted to wither away at the rage in his eyes, but she straightened her back and kept her hard gaze on his.

“You dismiss what happened to me?”

“No. I think what happened to you was horrible. But you’ve let it define you. You’ve let it dictate your life. You have so much to be grateful for… family, friends, love…” She let the word hang. “I didn’t know your friend Brian, but if he was any sort of friend, he wouldn’t want you to hide. He’d want you to live and love.”

Mitch jabbed a finger at her. “You keep Brian out of this. You know nothing about it.”

“I know what it’s like to live in fear. To wonder why something violent happened to me. But while you choose to hide behind anger and guilt, I’ve done the opposite. You’re broken, Mitch. And you don’t give a damn enough to fix it.”

The minute the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Not for saying he should live his life, but for saying he was broken. The hurt etched on his face confirmed she’d gone too far. She was about to apologize when he reached for the letters.

She scooped them up, shaking her head. “These are mine.” They were the only thing she had left of their relationship.

“You don’t deserve them.”

His words tore at her. Her tears gathered, and she knew she couldn’t stop them from falling. But she’d hold it together long enough to get him out of her office.

“They’re mine.” She held them to her breast.

He’d have to pull them from her hands. He glanced at them as if he considered it, but then sneered in disgust. “I’ll send George to get you this evening. He’ll take you home or to a hotel.” He didn’t say it, but the revulsion in his tone said,
I’m done with you
.

M
itch sat in his truck
; anger, hurt, betrayal all swirling in a dangerous combination. His heart felt physically crushed in his chest. How was it possible it could still beat?