Mia Like Crazy (33 page)

While he was in the kitchen cleaning up, the phone rang. “Mia, I just got a call from Alex,” Meridith said as soon as I answered.

My heart stopped. “What did she say?” I dropped down onto the couch.

Meridith couldn’t contain her excitement. “She said they found several irregularities in the evidence that would have provided reasonable doubt at the time. Since they have DNA testing available now, Alex rushed it through and it ruled Drew out. She said, since you’re a lawyer, you know this doesn’t mean it’s a done deal, but there’s more than an excellent chance now that a judge will—”

“Yeah,” I said. “I know what it means.” I felt like a load was lifted off my shoulders. “Thank you, Meri.”

I was still sitting on the couch when Drew came back into the room. When I saw him, I popped up, unable to contain my excitement.

“I’ve got great news for you…for us,” I announced.

“What is it?”

“Well, the other day I talked to the new D.A.—”

Drew’s face grew instantly angry. “About me?”

“Yes. I wanted to see if your case could be reopened, since you’re inno—”

“You told the
D.A
. my personal business?” He started his agitated pacing. I hadn’t seen him do that in months. “My wife went begging to some D.A
.
and told him the personal stuff she got from my
shrink
?”

“Actually, the D.A. is a ‘she,’ now,” I corrected him, stalling for time.

“Oh, well it’s
okay
then!” He threw his hands up in the air.

Determined to get through to him, I cleared my throat and kept my voice steady. “She agreed to look into it and—”

He raked one hand through his hair, then the other. “Did
I
ever tell you I wanted the case re-opened?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “You’re trying to change who I am. You said you loved me no matter what, but not if I’m a convicted rapist, even if it’s not true.”

“Drew,” I spoke calmly hoping it would rub off. “You’re not making any sense. I’m not trying to change who you are. You’re not the person everyone thinks you are.”

“And what everyone thinks is all that’s important to you, huh, Mia? That’s why you lie to people about who you are.” He paced toward me and stopped directly in front of me. “If the D.A. wouldn’t listen, were you going to take your three million and leave?”

I couldn’t believe he meant it, but he looked completely serious.

“Drew, what are you saying? You can’t still believe that. You know—”

“I know that you went behind my back…” He pointed at me accusingly, reminding me of that awful night he’d seen me with Lance. “And
told
people about me!”

“You’re not Jack Larson’s son anymore!” I cried. “You don’t need to be Satan.”

“You don’t have the right to decide that! I let you know things no one else knew and you betrayed me!”

He had a point. I shouldn’t have gone behind his back with such sensitive information, but I was thinking of our future. I wondered if I should tell him about the baby. Maybe he would understand, but this wasn’t how I wanted to give him the news, in the middle of a tirade.

I decided to try logic one last time. “The D.A. says there’s a good chance the verdict will be thrown out. Why in the world would you want to be a notorious rapist, if you don’t have to…if it’s not true?”

“Because it’s who I am!” he said, with complete conviction. “It’s all I
have
!”

It was like a physical blow. His words echoed off the living room walls. I stared at him, in his black silk, long-sleeved T-shirt and one of the thirty-plus pairs of black pants from his closet, and realized nothing we had shared had made any difference in the way he saw himself or his life.

As far as Drew was concerned, he was the same deranged, demented, misfit he’d always thought he was. He still needed to be feared and loathed—or he needed his crazy dead father’s approval. Either way, he couldn’t see a brighter future. He was still without dreams.

I thought about the baby inside me, a baby I loved already because it was his. Yet, the people he loved weren’t as important to him as living in his dark past seemed to be.

Tears streamed down my face. Drew had grown silent and still, obviously realizing the awful mistake he’d made. He opened his mouth, but was slow to find the words to erase such an appalling declaration.

I turned away from him and searched the room through blurry eyes for my purse. I picked it up and started for the door.

“Mia!” he called after me in a desperate tone. “You can’t leave today. The six-month meeting is tomorrow.”

That’s all he’ll do to try to get me to stay with him? Talk about money?
I’d been deluding myself, thinking our love had actually changed him.

I whirled around. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be at the meeting. We’ll put on a good show, and we’ll collect our money, and then I never want to see you again.”

I forced myself to turn away from his bereft expression and ran up to my room. I quickly grabbed a few items, including a suit, some shoes and my makeup bag. Then, I headed back down the stairs as quickly as possible.

As I passed him in a mad dash, I avoided his eyes, but I heard my name murmured tenderly, as he often said it when we made love.

“Mia…”

The sound caused me to slow, hoping the warmth of it would wash over me as it had every night for the past few weeks.

But I couldn’t let myself stay. I had to get away from Drew. He was right from the beginning. I
was
in way over my head.

I made it out the door and into the elevator. He hadn’t even come after me. I dissolved into hysterical sobs.

Downstairs, I used a payphone to call a cab, and it came within a few minutes. After considering going back to my old hotel, I decided against it. I needed to be somewhere where Drew couldn’t find me. I needed to think things through. . . and I needed a Mia Medina Plan.

~

I was up most of the night in my hotel room.

At first, I asked myself if I was over-reacting because of my pregnancy. As I soaked one tissue after another, I wrote down all the problems I foresaw in starting a family with Drew. I wept even harder when I thought about how everything we’d been through together had made no difference in his priorities or his thoughts about the future.

But I knew
I
had changed. Six months ago, I’d had myself convinced all I cared about were my accomplishments and financial security. Then, I’d met Drew and Meridith and the kids and began feeling
for the first time since I could remember.

The connection I’d had with them had made it worth the effort to bore through Drew’s angry, crazy shell and find the sensitive, artistic heart that had nearly been crushed in his childhood. How could he act like our time together didn’t mean anything?

But when the chips were down, that’s what he’d done.

When I couldn’t stand to cry anymore, I tried to put my mind on practical matters. Estimating how much money I had in my savings and retirement accounts from my previous job, I decided it should tide me over until I got the money from the Vaughn Estate or another job. If I was going to try to get on with another firm, though, I needed to act quickly, before my pregnancy started showing.

Several times during the evening, I almost picked up the phone to call Meridith, but knew she would try to talk me into going back to her brother. When I thought about the fact that I would lose my only female friend, along with my husband, I broke down again.

Then there were Ben and Molly, my baby’s cousins. How could I ensure a relationship with them without running into Drew all the time?

It was too much to decide in one night. I had to get some sleep.

I tucked myself into my lonely hotel bed and closed my eyes. When I dozed off in the wee hours of the morning, I dreamed of Drew serving me breakfast, gazing tenderly at me, and whispering my name. Then, suddenly, he was screaming at me and waving his bloody hands around. I awoke exhausted at seven-thirty and wondered if I would be cursed with Drew dreams forever.

Chapter Twenty-one

I got up, showered and dressed. For the first time in over six months, I had to figure out what I was going to eat for breakfast. I decided to go to Meridith’s favorite diner, since it was close to the address where our meeting was to take place.

I knew the baby needed food, even if I didn’t want any myself, so I forced myself to chew and swallow one bite after another. While I ate, I practiced answers to the possible questions Vaughn’s old friend—Robert Mason—might ask. I tried to anticipate every possible query and response as though I were preparing for a trial.

The appointment was at ten, so at nine-thirty, I stood up on shaky legs, paid the bill and walked the two blocks to the Mason Building. As I turned the corner, I saw Drew’s car sitting directly in front of the door and my heart jumped. I kept walking, making myself breathe in and out slowly. I had to stick to my plan now.

It was all
I
had.

As I neared the front of the building, the car door opened and Drew quickly closed the distance between us. I was surprised to see him wearing the golden brown, pull-over sweater and brown slacks I’d bought him for Christmas.

I’d known he’d look great in them. The colors brought out a warmth in his hair and eyes that wasn’t apparent in his usual black and white.

I had the urge to throw my arms around him and press my cheek to that soft sweater so I could feel his heart beating underneath. But I tore my eyes away from him and focused on the building entrance.

“You should have called me. I would have picked you up.”

“I needed the exercise,” I answered without breaking stride.

“I want to talk to you.” He fell into step beside me. “Something’s happened I need to tell you about.”

“We have an appointment.”

“I thought you didn’t care about money anymore.”

I thought about the baby growing inside me. “I was in love. I was being naïve.” The fact that I used the past tense when I talked about loving him was a lie, but a brief change in his expression told me he’d noticed.

I reached for the handle of the glass door, but Drew put one hand above my head and stopped it from opening. I looked up at him angrily, but when our eyes met, his dark gaze was peering into me.

Determined, but soft.

All the air was sucked from my lungs and I was immobile. I let myself imagine how he might look at me if he knew about the baby.

The baby.
I needed this money for the baby. I glanced up to where one of his hands was holding the door shut.

“If we’re gonna get you your money,” he said calmly. “We’d better make it look good.” He held out his other hand and I placed mine lightly in it.

As we stood in the elevator, he forcibly laced his fingers through mine. I tolerated it, but kept my eyes straight ahead, knowing he was staring at me the whole time, willing me to look up at him.

The elevator stopped at the top floor and we stepped off a few feet away from a receptionist’s desk, where an a
ttractive young blonde asked us
to wait and directed us to the couch. When we sat down, I tried to remove my hand from Drew’s iron grip, but he wouldn’t let go.

Finally, the receptionist ushered us into an office. As I glanced around, I was glad I had worn my ultra-conservative gray suit and low heels. Robert Mason was obviously old school.