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look on Tor's face didn't soften at all, he said, "Well? You got something to say, do it now. No

sense in getting pissy and not finishing what you start."

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Tor growled at him. "What the hell is up with you?" he demanded. "I thought we got this sorted out years ago. You don't try to fix everything; you don't take everything on yourself. And here we are,

you working fourteen-hour days and worrying at every fucking thing you can think of and making

up extra ones on top."

"I do not," Jake snapped, his own anger finally showing up and focusing on the crap Tor was saying.

Tor's eyes narrowed. "Then what happened this morning?"

Jake felt his argument slip away like it was sand in a downpour. He tried to find a way to twist, to

get off the hook, but he'd been caught up and he knew it. He clenched his jaw and stood there,

though, not willing to just give in and let Tor win.

But Tor wasn't about to back down either and he pressed forward with gaining momentum. "This

morning," he said, standing in front of Jake like a dark force of nature. "In the shower. Or has it slipped your mind? Couldn't have, you pick up on details and store them all. Crop prices, cattle

stocks, who's working where and when. You know it all, don't you, Jake? It's a damn sure thing you

didn't forget this morning."

It occurred to Jake that Tor was really pissed off, more than he'd ever been before, maybe. "That

what all this is about?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Is that what this comes back to?

Damn it, Tor, can't you ever get angry over anything that doesn't have a direct effect on your

cock?"

For a moment he thought Tor was going to hit him, then he saw the flash in Tor's eyes dim a bit.

That was all there was, there wasn't a slump in his shoulders or a gentling anywhere else, and Jake

knew he was wrong. It was about a whole lot more than a derailed blow job.

Tor took a breath and turned to look the other way, off to the right. "You were fucking worried

about River and Creek, Jake. About if they were getting enough of your time and if their feelings

were hurt. I was on my fucking knees and you were thinking about the fucking mental health of

your horses." He looked back and met Jake's eyes, the glint back, shining and bright. "It was just the last thing, though."

Jake suddenly felt exhausted, the weight of all those fourteen-hour days that were probably more

like sixteen pulling on him. "I can't be anything but me," he said finally.

"But you're not you," Tor said firmly. "You're some obsessive thing, scurrying from task to job to worry and back again. You're chasing things that don't need you chasing them, and you're not you

at all. Not one little bit. The Jake Taggart I know, the one you really are, has a damn room full of

Lego you ain't looked at in months. The Jake I know reads more than ledgers and sophomore

homework and notices from school. The one I know and love is a cowboy who actually enjoys his

life and his work." He took a step back and shrugged. "Don't know who you are. But I'm getting my Jake back."

Jake stared at him as Tor turned and walked back into the house and then he stared at the house for

a while longer. He had no fucking idea what to do with that, no idea what it meant. He thought

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about going in, but couldn't see what good it would do, not until he had some words to explain

what he was doing, what he was working for. A life for Jacob, for himself and Tor. For their ranch,

their men. He was doing the best he could, and he wasn't sure how his best could be so far off from

what Tor seemed to want.

Confused and upset, he eventually made his way to the stable, but the horses were restless with him

there when it wasn't the right time, and he left them after a short while and went into the house. The

lights were all off, the TV silent, and the clock glowing in the kitchen said it was almost time for

bed.

Knowing he'd be unable to sleep, he sat in the dark living room and waited for morning or for Tor

to come looking for him. He fell asleep before either happened.

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Chapter Thirty Nine

Jake woke up before dawn, his back stiff from sleeping slumped on the couch. With a grunt and a

bit of a moan, he got up and stretched, grateful that he was awake before Tor or Jacob. He really

didn't want to have to explain what the hell he was doing on the couch when there was a perfectly

fine bed upstairs.

He put the coffee on and took a shower, coming out of the bathroom just as the alarm went off in

his and Tor's bedroom. He heard the buzzing stop and with a sigh went into the room, shutting the

door gently behind him.

Tor was sitting up in the bed, sheets pooled around his waist, and looking at the empty space beside

him in confusion. "Slept on the couch?" he asked, sounding more than a little hurt.

"Not on purpose," Jake said, almost making it an apology. "I meant to come up. Just didn't make it."

Tor nodded, apparently accepting that at face value. As Jake got clean clothes from the dresser Tor

climbed out of bed and stood next to him, reaching for his jeans. "I was thinking about something

as I fell asleep," he said in a low voice. "Think I have an idea."

Jake raised an eyebrow, not surprised at all that neither of them was actually saying they were sorry

for anything; chances were, neither of them was sorry for anything other than the yelling and it

would take some more time before they got around to talking about that. "About what?" he asked, keeping his voice down as well. Jacob didn't need to hear anything more than he had the night before.

But Tor shook his head and reached for a T-shirt. "Still turning it over. Let me think on it, talk to Elias. See you at lunch?"

Jake nodded, vaguely annoyed at Tor's unwillingness to share, but curious as well. "Yeah," he said.

"I'm going to be helping Kirk with the horses this morning, and checking on some things around

the barn. Are you going out with Bobby and Tommy?"

Tor nodded, then shook his head. "Not sure. I'm supposed to, but if this idea of mine will hold water, I might not need to. Either way, I'm supposed to help with getting the fencing into the other

truck and take a look at the bunkhouse roof. Need some new shingles, gotta see how many."

"All right," Jake said, doing up his jeans. "I'll get breakfast going. Coffee's already on."

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Tor nodded and leaned forward suddenly, kissing his cheek. "We'll get this sorted," he promised in a whisper. "You may try my nerves, but I'm keeping you."

Jake smiled despite himself and said nothing, pretty sure there wasn't really anything to say to that.

Tor let him go and Jake headed back down to the kitchen, pausing to knock on Jacob's door as he

passed. He waited until he got a grunt in reply before going down the stairs to get breakfast going,

feeling a little better for a man who'd slept on the couch.

***

At noon, Jake and Jacob made lunch and then Jacob went up to his room to toss some clothes into

his school bag. Leroy and his dad were going to pick him up by one so the boys could go to town,

and then they were spending the night at Leroy's. Jake was just as happy that Jacob was going, not

sure if there was going to be a repeat of Tor's tantrum.

But when Tor came in for lunch, tossing his hat onto the hook just inside the back door, he seemed

more thoughtful than anything else, and certainly not angry at him anymore. "What's for lunch?" he asked, going to the sink to wash his hands.

"Leftover beef. Want it hot with gravy? Got potatoes on." Jake poked a boiling potato and decided they were well past done. "Jacob, food's ready," he called.

Tor thought hot was better than cold, so by the time they'd heated the meat and got everything

ready for the table, Jacob was back and getting drinking glasses down. The three of them sat and

ate in near silence, Jake wondering if Tor's idea had turned into something or not and Jacob looking

back and forth between them uneasily.

"Relax, kid," Tor finally said, finishing his potatoes. "Me and your uncle might holler once in a while, but it doesn't mean anything other than we have to sit down and talk."

Jacob nodded and relaxed a bit but Jake had to force himself not to sigh. No matter how long they

did it, talking never came easy. Still, if it would avoid scenes like the one they'd just had, he'd try a bit harder. He had a smug little voice in his head that wanted to point out that he hadn't been aware

that a discussion had to happen; that was all on Tor, and it had been Tor who hadn't been talking

this time.

Not that it mattered, his more rational mind pointed out. They were still going to have to talk. And

it was probably going to happen sooner rather than later.

Elias knocked at the back door and came in when Jake waved to him, stopping Jake from brooding

over the matter for the time being. "Hey, Jacob. Car just coming up the lane, should be your ride,"

he said, taking off his hat.

Jacob scrambled up and took his plate to the sink and then dashed to where he'd dropped his bag.

"See you tomorrow," he called, thundering down the hall to the front door. Jake and Tor barely had time to call out their goodbyes before he was gone, slamming the door behind him.

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Jake shook his head to himself as he started clearing the table. "Coffee?" he asked, gesturing to the pot.

Both Tor and Elias shook their heads and sat at the table, watching him as he put the dishes in the

sink and started running water. They didn't say anything at all, just watched him. After about two

minutes of that, he turned and glared at them. "What?"

"Cranky," Elias said, glancing at Tor. "You're right."

"Told ya."

Jake growled at them. "Right. Cranky, bossy, and not myself, I'm told. What about it?"

Elias slid another look at Tor and stood up. "Do it," he said, picking up his hat. "If you don't, I just might." He nodded at Jake and grinned. "You follow his lead, Jake. It'll be fun."

Jake glared at him again as he turned and left, then transferred the look to Tor. "What's going on?"

he demanded, leaning on the counter.

Tor stood up and walked to him, stood close enough to touch, but didn't. "We're going on a little

vacation, you and me. And before you start calling me names and pointing out that we don't have

time, hear me out."

Jake snapped his mouth shut, his protests about time dying before they could be vocalized.

"I'm talking about a working vacation, sort of," Tor went on, shifting his weight just a little. "Thing is, I don't think I'd mind you working so fucking hard if I knew you were having fun, if you were

doing it because you loved it and not because you're running scared of making a mistake. So you

and me, we're going to be cowboys for a few days. The way we're supposed to be, not going over

fucking paperwork and homework and running the place. Just… cowboys."

Jake frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

Tor gave him a tentative smile. "The herd's gotta be moved," he said hopefully, inviting a response.

"Uh-huh," Jake said with a nod. "We're going to be working on that for the next two weeks. Men and horses and trucks and trailers." They had the bulk of their stock in one well-tended area, but it was time to get the animals to fresher pastures; for the size of their herd and where the best land

was, that meant splitting the herd up. It was a huge job, by times confusing and stressful if every-

one didn't know exactly what group of animals was going where.

Tor's smile grew a little. "Lot of cows to shift," he said agreeably. "And you and me are taking thirty head and putting them down in Stuck Jump."

Jake blinked at him, confused. A small part of the stock had to go to an area which they couldn't

reach on truck at all, and had to be moved the old-fashioned way with horses and dogs and hard

work. It was called Stuck Jump among the hands, though the name didn't turn up on any maps. Jake

figured it got its name because by the time the cattle got there they were stuck, and the hands were

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ready to jump off the nearest cliff. It was pretty easy to keep an eye on the cattle, though, once they were there, and for some reason the whole area had always been pretty free of predators and problems. The only real drawback was the getting the cattle there.

"We were going to do that anyway," Jake pointed out, not seeing where Tor was going with his

plan.

Tor's smile grew even more and he shook his head. "You were, yes. With about three other guys.

And you were going to ride back to the house at night, the four of you trading shifts on who had to

stay out there with the cattle over the three days it'll take to get them there." He waited for Jake to nod and then kissed the tip of his nose. "What I'm telling you is that you and me are doing it alone, and we're not coming back until it's done. You, me, three horses, and that damn dog of yours. Three

days, two nights, and the open range."

Jake laughed, utterly amused by the absurdity of it, but Tor didn't laugh with him and with a choke

he started shaking his head. "Oh, no," he said, not quite believing that Tor was serious. "You and me. Away from the--"

"The ranch, the house, the stables, the headaches, the books, the nephew," Tor confirmed. "For three days and two nights." He nodded sharply and stepped back two paces. "Elias can run the

show, we'll take the radios because we're not stupid, and Jacob can either put himself to bed or he

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