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people to see I was on the verge of exploding in tears.

Jules came up to me with her eyes gentle and kind. “Do you want everyone to leave? I’m

sure they’ll understand.”

“This is great, isn’t it? I'm supposed to be celebrating the opportunity of a lifetime, and

instead I find my boyfriend cheating on me.” I laughed, and I think I was approaching delirium

because I couldn't stop.

Jules looked at me with concern and put her hands on my arms, which stopped my crazed

laughing fit. “I’m sorry, but you had to know. I saw them when I was going outside to smoke a

cigarette. They didn’t see me, so I ran back in to tell you so you could see it for yourself.”

“Gee, thanks,” I said with false gratitude.

I went to the kitchen counter to pour myself another drink. I gulped down an entire glass

of champagne and then proceeded to pour another one.

“Paige, don't worry. You'll meet a guy who will love you the way you deserve.”

“Not in
this
city,” I scoffed, pessimism lacing my words.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. Then she stood behind me and put her arms around my

waist. I felt her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, maybe not, but he's out there...just waiting for a girl like you.”

My house phone rang and I sluggishly made my way over to answer it. I saw my mother's

number on the Caller ID.

“Hi Mom.” At that moment, I remembered I hadn't told her about my promotion. “Guess

what? Nina promoted me at work today. I was going to call and tell you. She named me Creative

Designer.” I tried to sound cheerful, but was too weary from my break-up with Travis.

“That’s nice, Paige.” She didn't sound thrilled, and my heart dropped like a stone to the

pit of my stomach. She sighed heavily. “Oh God, your promotion makes what I have to tell you

more difficult.”

“What do you mean?” Something told me this might be a private conversation. “Hold on,

I’m going to talk to you in my room. I'm having a party to celebrate my promotion, so it’s a little

noisy.” I carried the cordless phone into my bedroom and closed the door. “Okay, what were you

saying?” I sat on the bed and cradled the phone against my ear.

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“Paige…it’s your father.” She paused, and I had a feeling she was about to drop a bomb

on me. “He’s dead.”

Yep, she did
.

I stood and yelled into the phone, “What do you mean he’s dead?”

“He had a heart attack this evening. The doctors at the hospital couldn’t save him.”

My brain tried to process this horrifying news and I couldn’t spare the tears to burst out

crying like I wanted. I had used so many on Travis' infidelity.

“Look Mom, I can’t handle this right now. I just caught Travis cheating on me and---”

“To hell with Travis! This is your
father
! He’s dead, Paige!”

“I know! I said I can’t handle this right now!”

“Well, you’re going to have to. You’re his only child, so you have to arrange his funeral.

Come to the hospital
now
. I’m not dealing with this alone.”

I couldn’t speak because I felt like my world just crashed down on me. Earlier today, a

new path to my future shined brightly with promise. Now my lips trembled violently and my tear

ducts finally exploded. Grief struck me hard and I fell on my bed. I dropped the phone next to

me and cried. This was the only way I knew how to handle losing my father. I hope my mother

was satisfied now.

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While I cried on my bed, I heard someone knock on the bedroom door. A second later, I

heard Jules' voice coming from the other side. "Paige, can I come in?"

At the same time, I heard my mother's voice through the phone. "Paige, pick up the

phone."

I held the receiver to my ear in a weak grip. My voice cracked. "Yes?"

"Come to Bellevue Hospital because that's where I am."

I sniffled and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Okay, I'll meet you there."

"Honey, I know you're hurting. Don’t worry, you’ll get through this."

I hung up with my mother, and then Jules walked in. "I asked everyone to go home. It's

just me and you now." She sat next to me on the bed and put her hand on my leg. "Are you

okay?"

"No." I grabbed my pillow and hugged it. "My dad just died. I have to go see him at the hospital." The realization I could never talk to him again hit me with full force and I couldn’t

hold back my tears.

Jules has been my best friend since third grade. When I broke down, she lay next to me

and stroked my hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Paige. Is there anything I can do?"

I buried my face into the pillow. "No," my voice muffled.

"Do you want me to go to the hospital with you?"

I turned my head to look at her teary-eyed sympathetic face framed with wavy auburn

hair. "No, I'll be all right."

Jules only lay in bed with me for a few minutes. I needed to be alone for a while and she

knew me well. She sat up and said, "I'll leave you alone, but call me if you need anything,

sweetie."

"Thanks," I said sniffling.

Once I heard my bedroom door close, I turned on the waterworks full-blast. Intense sobs

racked my body as I thought about my father. He and I had a good relationship. Usually he

supported me, but sometimes during family conflicts, he would side with my mother. Reflecting

on it, I think he did it to pacify her because she and I always butted heads. He didn't want her to

feel we were both against her. I knew he loved her in his own way. Although he worked a lot, he

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never neglected me or hesitated to help me. He was the parent I went to whenever I needed

advice...and now he was gone. Losing my father felt like I lost a part of myself.

I flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Tears leaked from my eyes and left wet

droplets on my pillow. Soon my thoughts turned to my job. When Nina said she wanted me to be

the project leader for Vera Wang's upcoming photo shoot, I knew I'd have to work harder and put

in lots of overtime. The shoot was in three weeks and would involve an overwhelming amount of

organizing and preparation, two of my weakest skills.

I remembered the promise I had given her. I hated to break it, but my father's death put an

unexpected halt on my career. There was no way I could help my mother with his funeral and

still have enough time to get the project off the ground. I decided to call Nina and break the news

to her. As I dialed her cell phone number, I prepared myself for a demotion.

"Hello Paige. Is there a reason you're calling me at this hour?"

"Hi Nina. I'm sorry to bother you, but I needed to talk to you. It's important."

"What is it?"

"I know you wanted me to get started on the Vera Wang project, but I don't think I can.

You see..." My composure was slipping, so I took a deep breath. "My dad died tonight, so---"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know you were close to him."

My voice broke because I couldn't get hold of my emotions. "I'm sorry to let you down. I

don't know how long it will take to bury my father and I'm not sure when I'll return to work."

"Paige, I know I'm a bitch, but sometimes I'm an
understanding
bitch. We have a benefit

called bereavement leave. Please take advantage of it. You need to grieve. Your job will still be

here when you get back. There's no one else I want to be Creative Designer. Don't worry about

Vera. I'll get Oliver on the project first thing in the morning."

"Thanks, I appreciate you being so understanding about this."

Her voice turned soft. "Death usually occurs spontaneously. You can't plan for it. You

can only adjust your
other
plans and work around it. Take your leave and I'll see you back here when you're ready."

I met my mother at the hospital later that night. When the nurse brought me into the room

where my father lay, I tried not to break down into a hysterical crying mess. I didn't want to

cause a scene. I tried to connect with him one last time by touching his face gently, smoothing

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his black hair, and kissing his forehead. His skin was pale and slightly cold. With his eyes closed,

he looked like he was asleep.

I whispered in his ear, "Goodbye Daddy," and then I stepped away from the bed.

My mother moved to stand next to me. I felt her arm slip around my waist as I watched

the nurse pull the sheet over my father’s seemingly sleeping face.

* * * * *

In addition to my father's funeral, my mother and I had to meet with his lawyer Mr.

Kaufman to discuss his will. We sat in his office as he proceeded to explain the terms. My

mother and I didn't speak during the reading of the will because it reminded us of my father's

death and put us in somber moods. She wore dark sunglasses indoors and sat stoically in the

armchair next to me. With her sable hair pulled into a tight bun and her serious expression, she

made it obvious she was all business.

When Mr. Kaufman informed her my father left her nothing because of everything she

acquired during their divorce, she sucked her teeth and sighed in irritation.

I, on the other hand, was stunned when he said, "Paige, he left you his cabin in Black

River, Colorado."

Suddenly, I had a flashback of the cozy cabin my father bought when I was ten years old.

The vacation we had reached the front of my mind, and once again, a particular memory stood

out among the rest. I wondered if there were still wolves in the area and if the white wolf pup

had grown up.

"Miss Donovan?"

Mr. Kaufman's round face slowly came into focus. I blinked once. "Excuse me, what?"

He looked down at the will. "The cabin in---"

"The cabin?" My mother repeated.

"Yes. It says here explicitly that Paige inherits the cabin in Black River, Colorado."

My mother laughed haughtily. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware he still owned it."

"He told us he sold it," I added quietly.

"
After
the divorce!" A curse under her breath followed.

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Mr. Kaufman adjusted his black-rimmed glasses. He appeared confused and scratched his

balding head. Then he looked at the will and shuffled through the papers.

"No, it's listed here as a real estate asset."

My mother and I shared a look of perplexity. Then I spoke my internal worry aloud.

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

She answered immediately. "Sell it. It's probably in bad shape and animals live in it. Not

to mention, the upkeep will be expensive. Plus, you never liked it there."

I shook my head. "No, Mom...
you
didn't like it there. I
loved
it, remember?"

She turned her head away from me. "No, not that I can recall," her voice clipped. "I

remember you running away and we searched for hours trying to find you."

I rolled my eyes. I felt strangely optimistic so I said, "Maybe Dad kept it up or rented it to

another family."

She scoffed. "I doubt it. Your father was a workaholic. I'd be surprised if he took the time

to travel to Colorado for a vacation." My mother...always a cynic.

"He could've used it as his own vacation spot away from---" I wanted to say 'you', but I

cut my sentence short when she removed her sunglasses. She gave me a hard look and pursed her

lips. I immediately closed my mouth and turned to Mr. Kaufman. I didn't know what I was going

to do with the cabin, but selling it was on the bottom of my list.

My mother still tried to convince me to sell my inheritance on our cab ride to her

brownstone in Brooklyn. "Paige, you could use the money. Just sell the cabin. You don't want

the responsibility of owning property in a remote place."

"Mom, I don't think Dad would've wanted me to sell it."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, he lied to us about selling it so it obviously meant something to him."

She sighed. "Paige---"

"I want to keep it," I said with finality. She turned her head, but not before I caught her

pinched expression. "I want to keep the cabin so I can keep the memories of Dad and our

vacation alive."

When I was growing up, we didn't do too many activities as a family. I attributed this to

the fact my parents didn't get along. Our vacation in the Colorado Rockies only lasted one

summer but I still cherished it.

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