Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar (24 page)

“What do you mean?

“I mean, you’re my mom, but Grandma Dotty doesn’t seem to think we should act alike or look alike. Is she… okay?” I was starting to worry about Grandma’s mind. It was like her brain was taking
longer and longer vacations from her body. I didn’t blame it—I wouldn’t want to be stuck in her head all the time either.

“Tell her, Jules,” Grandma said from behind the closet door. “She’s smart—she’ll figure it out. Tell her, or I will.”

“Mother, would you just—leave! Please!”

Mom had never yelled at Grandma before—not in front of me. This was getting seriously weird. But I heard Grandma Dotty’s footsteps leaving the room, and then Mom sighed.

“Georgia, I’ve got something I need to tell you,” she said, looking down at the funky sixth-grade photo of herself. “But I don’t know how to say it.” She sounded so freaked out that I thought she was getting ready to tell me all about the birds and the bees. To which I can only say:

YUCK.

“Um—don’t worry, Mom. I learned all about that stuff in health class last year,” I said.

Mom chewed her lip. “No, Georgia…” She took my hand and pressed my fingers really gently. “Sweetheart, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it….”

Sorry. That transcript may not be entirely right. My brain sort of short-circuited after the word “adopted.”

But it made sense. It explained everything. Why I didn’t look like Mom. Why I didn’t act like Rafe.

Grandma Dotty’s brain wasn’t being eaten by worms.

My
life
was.

W
hen Rafe and Leo were born, I was so happy. But Leo got sick. And then he died,” Mom went on.

“It’s still really, really hard for me to talk about. I didn’t want to leave the house—ever. I didn’t want Rafe to leave the house. I wouldn’t let him play with anything hard, or touch anything that had been
on the floor, or even sit on the couch, because he might fall off. I was going crazy, and I was making us both miserable. And that was when I realized that I needed more to think about, not less. I needed another outlet. I had all this extra love to give, and you needed someone to love you. So I adopted you.”

Mom stopped. She stared at me like she was trying to read my mind. I could tell she really wanted me to understand….

But I wasn’t sure that I
did
understand.

“You adopted me to replace Leo?”

“No,” Mom said, but her strange, shaky voice made it sound like “maybe” to me.

Rafe and Leo were twins. I could never take Leo’s place. No wonder I always felt like I had to be perfect—like I wasn’t quite how I was supposed to be. I
wasn’t
.

Because I wasn’t Leo. And I never could be.

I
didn’t tell my mom about the detention. What would have been the point? Clearly, I wasn’t going to the dance.

I went to my room and climbed through my window, onto the roof of the back porch. That’s where I go when I want to be alone.

I looked up at the sky. The moon was lopsided—almost round, but not quite. There are too many lights where I live, so I could see only one or two stars.

“Are you going to make a wish on one?” Rafe asked. He was leaning halfway out his window.

I thought of all my usual wishes, like winning
the lottery, becoming a famous Disney Channel star, rocking out at the Battle of the Bands….

None of those wishes seemed to matter anymore. “What’s the point of wishing?” I asked.

Rafe shrugged. “Maybe it’ll come true. Do you mind if I sit out here with you?” “Yes,” I told him.

“Great,” Rafe said, and climbed out his window to join me.

I sighed. Actually, I had meant
yes, I do mind
, not
yes, come sit with me
. But Rafe was being nice, and I didn’t really have the energy to tell him I wanted to be alone.

Rafe didn’t say anything. He just lay beside me, looking up at the lumpy moon.

“Did you know?” I asked into the night air.

There was silence from him for a long time. Out in the yard, a lonely cricket chirped. I was starting to think maybe Rafe had fallen asleep or something, and I was about to poke him, when he said, “Yes.”

“When did Mom tell you?”

“She didn’t have to. I remember.”

I felt dizzy. I was glad I was lying down.

“That’s why Mom always gives you all the attention—that and your leg.”

“All the attention?” I repeated. “Are you serious?”

“If I didn’t act crazy, Mom wouldn’t even remember I was around,” Rafe said. “It’s been that way since the day we brought you home.”

The day we brought you home.
There was something about those words that made me start to cry. I tried to do it as quietly as possible. Tears leaked out the sides of my eyes and trickled into my hair.

“You’re my sister, Georgia,” Rafe said. “You always have been.” And then he took my hand, and I thought I might just break into jagged little pieces.

I blinked back my tears and swallowed hard. “So, like, are we supposed to hug now?” I asked Rafe.

“No, thanks,” he said. “Your breath is as bad as your band.”

“I knew you were in there,” I said.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“So, isn’t your dance tonight? Why aren’t you
getting dressed?” Rafe rolled over onto his side so he could look at me.

“I’m not in the mood,” I told him.

“You’re going to bail on the band?” Rafe sounded shocked.

I hadn’t thought of that at all. Rafe was right—I couldn’t just let down Mari, Nanci, and Patti. And Sam. I’d promised to dance with him. If I didn’t show, he’d have spent three dollars on Mr. Bananas for nothing.

I rolled over so that I was facing my brother. “You’re right,” I told him.

My brother grinned at me. “As usual,” he said.

“This is a deep moment, Rafe—don’t ruin it.”

“Sorry.”