Read Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Online

Authors: James Patterson

Tags: #Family, #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Siblings, #School & Education, #Humorous Stories, #Adolescence, #Multigenerational, #Adoption

Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar (29 page)

BOOK: Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar
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WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA

Y
ou know those regular camps, where kids spend the summer running around in the fresh air, and roasting marshmallows, and swimming in the lake all day? Maybe you’ve even been to one of those places.

Well, hold that thought. Here’s another question:

Have you ever read the book
holes
? If you haven’t, you should, because it’s an awesome book. But there was a camp in that story too—Camp Green Lake, which was actually a prison for kids.

Let’s say that the place I went, Camp Wannamorra, was somewhere right in the middle of all that. Half camp and half prison. And by
prison
, I mean school.

That’s right. Me. Summer school. Again.

If you read my last two books, then you know that
school
isn’t exactly my best subject. In fact,
I’ve already done time at Hills Village Middle School, Cathedral School of the Arts,
and
Airbrook Arts. (I’m kind of, sort of, an artist, but more about that later.) Crazy, right? Let’s just say I move around a lot.

The bottom line: If I wanted to keep going to Airbrook, I was going to have to “do some work” over the summer. And we all know what that means.

So when Mom told me and my sister, Georgia, that she’d found the “perfect” camp for us, I was suspicious right away.

Every morning from eight to twelve at Camp Wannamorra, we would be in classes. I was going to take the kind for kids who needed a little extra help. And brainiac Georgia, who couldn’t even wait to start middle school in the fall, was going to take the “Challenge Program,” for kids who had nothing better to do during school vacation than get smarter than they already were.

The more Mom talked about it, the more excited Georgia became, which made me even more suspicious. She kept calling it “summer camp,” but I was pretty sure it was going to look something like this:

Well, guess what? It turned out I was half-right about Camp Wannamorra. Some of it was exactly as terrible as I’d expected it to be.

Some of it was even
worse
.

LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT: RAFE KHATCHADORIAN IS NO BOOGER-EATER!

H
e
’S J
u
ST ST
u
CK AT S
u
MM
e
R CAMP W
i
TH ON
e
.

Contents

Welcome

Dedication

Chapter 1: Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar

Chapter 2: Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian

Chapter 3: Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother

Chapter 4: Miller the (Mini) Killer

Chapter 5: Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda

Chapter 6: The Princess Patrol!

Chapter 7: The Awesomes!

Chapter 8: We Stink!

Chapter 9: Home, Sweet Home

Chapter 10: Sweet Home Georgiabama

Chapter 11: My Mom Is My Best Friend

Chapter 12: The Princess Dress Code

Chapter 13: Not My Problem

Chapter 14: This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…

Chapter 15: I’m In!

Chapter 16: Mrs. Stricker Loves Me

Chapter 17: Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…

Chapter 18: “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.

Chapter 19: A Day at the School Factory

Chapter 20: Every Band Needs a Groupie

Chapter 21: Squealing on Rafe Is Fun

Chapter 22: My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare

Chapter 23: It Ain’t Easy Being Green

Chapter 24: The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules

Chapter 25: I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair

Chapter 26: I’m Being Followed

Chapter 27: Stop, Book Thief!

Chapter 28: My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)

Chapter 29: The Truth About Jeanne Galletta

Chapter 30: General Rafe Torture

Chapter 31: Rafe’s Revenge

Chapter 32: Playing War

Chapter 33: Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me

Chapter 34: Completely Insane

Chapter 35: Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown

Chapter 36: “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale

Chapter 37: The Aftermath

Chapter 38: Going Bananas

Chapter 39: I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer

Chapter 40: The Princesses

Chapter 41: Georgia’s Last Stand

Chapter 42: Rhonda Runs

Chapter 43: South Nowhere Street

Chapter 44: Smacked Down

Chapter 45: When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves

Chapter 46: Revenge Served Lukewarm

Chapter 47: A Visit with the Lizard King

Chapter 48: This Deserves Two Chapters

Chapter 49: Crime and Punishment

Chapter 50: Shrinkology

Chapter 51: More Shrinkology

Chapter 52: Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess

Chapter 53: Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect

Chapter 54: How I Became a Princess

Chapter 55: The Strange Truth

Chapter 56: Jules Explains It All

Chapter 57: I’m Not Going

Chapter 58: My First Middle-School Dance (Will I Ever Forget This Moment?) (I Have No Idea.) (Meh—I’ll Probably Forget It.)

Chapter 59: Band Gone Weird

Chapter 60: Princess Gone Wild

Chapter 61: My Mom Is… My Mom

Chapter 62: One Other Thing

Chapter 63: Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)

Chapter 64: Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes

Chapter 65: And… I Lost the Bet

A Preview of
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli and Snake Hill

Copyright

Copyright

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Copyright © 2013 by James Patterson

Illustrations by Neil Swaab

Cover design by Alison Impey

Cover art by Laura Park

Cover © 2013 Hachette Book Group, Inc

Copyright © 2013 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

www.lb-kids.com

First e-book edition: March 2013

The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

ISBN 978-0-316-20752-2

BOOK: Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar
2.42Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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