Midnight Shadows (34 page)

The eye roll was one only a teenager could do so expressively. “No. But if I know how, I won’t have to worry about it if one ever does.”

“I can teach you how to do that.”

“I know you could, but not without that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The same one Daddy has.”

Ian glanced over at his dad, whose fierce, protective expression would scare the breath out of most people.

Doing his best to cool his own expression down, Ian nodded toward the garage. “Go change clothes and I’ll show you a few moves that’ll have any guy running to get away from you.”

 
She gave a cute little grimace. “That’s not exactly what I want.”

Ian swallowed a groan. He still wasn’t ready to accept that his baby sister was actually dating. “Don’t remind me.”

“The lesson will have to wait,” his mother said. “Colin, Debbie, and the kids are on their way over.”

Colin and Debbie’s five kids would definitely put a kibosh on more yard work, too. And knowing his brother, he’d called his other brothers and sisters. Wouldn’t be long until the entire house was overflowing with Mackenzies—just the way his parents loved it.

Ian no sooner had that thought when the flood began. Colin walked out carrying his three-year old son, Brett, on his shoulder. Debbie followed behind him with their newest addition, Sarah, in her arms. Their oldest, nine-year old Penny, marched out holding a bucket of chicken, and was followed by Mason and Madison, their twins, who each carried a sack of fixings. Then more Mackenzies erupted through the doors. Soon Ian was surrounded by his brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews.

Just the way he liked it, too.

As he hugged his family and accepted the gentle ribbing from those who knew and loved him no matter what, Ian tried to tell himself that Sabrina would never have fit in with his big, boisterous family. That it was better they’d ended things. Problem was, he knew it was a lie. She would fit in here. She was confident and strong-willed enough to put up with his brothers’ teasing and his sisters’ sometimes invasive questions. She could hold her own with any of them. If she had given them a chance, she would have loved them, too.

He just wished to hell she had wanted to be a part of them…of him.

Chapter Thirty-three

Two Months later

Tallahassee

This had to be the queen mother of all bad ideas. That was saying a lot because she’d had more than her share of spectacularly bad ones.

Knocking on a door at two o’clock in the morning was a good way to get your head blown off. Since the door belonged to the man who’d basically dumped her, it was also a good way to get her already bruised heart irreparably broken. She honestly didn’t know which one would hurt the most.

She hadn’t meant to get here so late. She could’ve waited until tomorrow and arrived at a decent hour. But when she had finally gathered her courage, she literally could not wait one more moment. She just prayed this wasn’t a monumental screw-up.

He had told her he didn’t want to see her again until she got rid of the baggage she’d been carrying around for years. And while she may have succeeded in ridding herself of her demons, she was far from the emotionally stable, mature woman Ian deserved. Hot-headedness, stubbornness, and impulsiveness were as much a part of her as her hair and eye color. She might be able to diminish and change them from time to time, but for the most part, she was who she was. Would Ian still want her when he realized she hadn’t really changed much at all?

The porch lights blazed and her heart thundered against her chest. Was this the beginning of the end? Or could it be a new beginning for them? She would soon find out.

She had a plan…of sorts. Once she had made the decision to come here, she’d had no time to prepare. However, she had practiced a flowery, heart-felt speech all the way here. Hopefully he’d give her a chance to get it out before slamming the door in her face.

The door swung open and Ian stood there. Though his hair was mussed as if he’d run his fingers through it a few times, his eyes were alert as if he hadn’t been asleep at all. And they were wary, and so very cool. Not one bit welcoming.

Sabrina’s thudding heart took a nosedive. Even though she wanted to sink through the porch flooring, never to be heard from again, she raised her chin slightly and blurted, “We need to talk.”

Well crap. That wasn’t what she’d practiced. Where were the sweet, loving words she’d planned? What she’d just said sounded more like a demand…arrogant, prideful. A little bitchy.

“About what?”

Not exactly an invitation to come in and chat, but what had she expected after her not so friendly demand to talk? At least he hadn’t slammed the door in her face.

She tried again, this time with all the humbleness in her heart. “I wanted to—” She swallowed hard, started again, “I thought if we could…I want…I mean… you…us… I—”

“Sorry, Sabrina. We don’t have anything to say to each other.”

Of all the responses she had expected, this wasn’t one of them. She thought the worst would be a bit of yelling or a simple door slam in the face. Of course her hope had been the exact opposite. She had wished for so much more. But this cold, unemotional reception was even worse. As if he didn’t care at all.

Nodding, she backed away, mumbling an apology. Not even really sure what she said. She just needed to get out of here before she cracked completely open. She flew down the steps, her only focus was to get away as quickly as she could.

Halfway to her car, strong arms grabbed her, pulling her off her feet.
 

“Put me down, dammit.”

Instead of answering her, he did the most infuriating thing he could do—so Ian-like. He threw her over his shoulder and headed back into the house.

Sabrina saw red. Not only had he rejected her, he was treating her like a sack of grain. She pounded his back, fighting in earnest, determined to make him pay for not only breaking her heart but treating her so poorly. Okay, maybe she deserved it but that didn’t negate the hurt.

“I said put me down, you lowlife, scum sucking—”

He laughed. “Sabrina, darling, you really do need to come up with some new insults. Those are quite dated. I think maybe you— ” He broke off on a strangled gasp. “Holy crap, woman, what the hell are you wearing?”

Another cringe-worthy moment. It had been meant to be a symbol, but instead, Ian was taking advantage of her act of humility in a most unromantic and unchivalrous manner.

“Get your hands off my ass.”

“You mean your very bare ass, don’t you?”

“Still my ass, asshole.”

“Now that’s something I haven’t touched, but who knows. We could experiment if you like.”

“Ian Mackenzie, if you don’t put me down within the next second I will take my gun and part your hair in a different direction.”

“Okay, but just one more second.” He took that second to fondle her naked backside again and then dropped her to her feet.
 

Sabrina looked around, realizing he had brought her into his living room. The television was on a replay of a college football game.
 

She searched for a friendly face. “Where’s Jack?”

“He’s asleep. Had a long day playing with the neighbor’s kids.”

She gestured toward the television. “Sorry to interrupt your guy time. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to your game.”

“This game sucked, anyway.” He clicked off on the remote. Crossing his arms in front of him, he arched a brow. “So you want to tell me why you’re here?” Smoldering brown eyes swept over her body. “Dressed like that.”

All the fire went out of her as she looked down at her almost non-existent clothing. The barely there, see-through dress had been a spur of the moment purchase with one intent only. Now she felt more exposed than she’d ever felt when she was completely naked in front of him. What had she been thinking?
 

She shrugged defensively, resisting the urge to cross her arms in front of her. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Good thing you didn’t get stopped by a cop on the way here. I’d hate to have to bail you out of jail for indecent exposure.”

She turned to the door. “I’ll get out of your way.”

“Just like that, you’re going to run? When did you become such a coward, Sabrina?”

She whirled around so fast she almost lost her balance. “I’m no coward, you jerkwad, pinhead. I just changed my mind.”

“Ah…there she is.” Relief flooded through Ian and he couldn’t contain his delighted grin. He’d hated the defeated, sad look on her face. Her stumbling, rambling words had revealed how insecure she’d felt. Riling her up was the only way he knew to get her back on track.

“There who is?”

“The Sabrina Wilde I know.” He didn’t add ‘and love.’ Not yet. Yeah, he adored her, but he’d spilled his guts all over the floor way too many times to take this visit for granted. Who knew…maybe she’d come to grab his heart out of his chest and stomp on it again.

“Now tell me why you’re here.”

“You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”

“Easy has never been our forte. Spill it, babe.”

Breath shuddered through her as if she was gearing up for battle. Setting her chin at that stubborn angle he knew all too well, Ian braced for the worse.

“You told me a lot of things the last time we saw each other. Some hard truths I didn’t want to face. Things I didn’t think I could ever face. You told me unless I disposed of all the baggage I’d been carrying around with me, we couldn’t see each other again.”

Her slender body shook as though she was freezing and her expression went from determined to fearful in a flash. Ian watched with awe, wonder, and not a little astonishment as she wrenched the dress over her head and stood before him gloriously and beautifully nude.

She held her arms at her side, her body vulnerable and exposed. A defenseless, open target for whatever he wanted to dish out to her. “And here I am. Without baggage.” Her mouth curved in a wry smile. “Without clothes.” She swallowed. “Yours, if you still want me.”

He almost went to his knees. Instead he took a step toward her.
 

She held up her hand to stop him. “Wait. I need to get this said or I won’t be able to. You were right. I had a lot of baggage. Things my sisters didn’t know and I believed if they knew, they’d never forgive me. Even stop loving me.”

“You’re not that easy to stop loving.”

“Thank God for that. My sisters…well, they kind of forced it out of me. The whole ugly truth. I’ll tell you all about that in a minute. The thing is… I should’ve had more faith in them. They don’t hate me…still love me. Said there was nothing to forgive.

“It’s taken me a long time to accept that. Longer than I thought it would because I realized that even if there was nothing they felt they needed to forgive, I needed to forgive myself. That took some doing.”

“And now?” he asked softly.

“I have…for the most part. I still have moments of sadness, but nothing like before. I wanted to come to you without anything weighing on me. But here’s the thing…I’ll always be kind of screwed up. I’m not perfect, never will be.”

“And thank God for that.”

“What?”

“You think I want perfection? Sweetheart, I’ve never wanted perfect. I wanted the beautiful, spirited, stubborn, intelligent, opinionated, sexy, ridiculously brave and ridiculously foolish Sabrina Wilde. You may not be perfect, but you’re perfect for me. I knew that almost from the moment we met.”

“So do you think…you could forgive me, too?”

Without a doubt she was the bravest, most enchanting creature in the universe. In three strides, he stood in front of her but refrained from holding her. The instant his fingertips touched silky flesh, all coherent thought would vanish. He had to get this said.

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“But I said some pretty horrible things.”

“Believe it or not, those horrible things actually gave me a little hope.”

“Really? How?”

“I decided to go with the old adage, you only hurt the ones you really love.”

“Wow, that’s…um, kind of dumb.”

Ian laughed. Oh yes, his Sabrina was back in full form.

“True. And remember, I said some shitty things, too.”

“Nothing I didn’t deserve.”

“We’ll have to disagree about that. We both said things we regret. Question now is, where do we go from here? What do you want, Sabrina?”

“I want it all, Ian. Marriage, kids, house in the country with some land for lots of Jack juniors to romp around.”

Fighting a smile, he said, “Marriage? I don’t believe I asked.”

She beamed up at him, not one bit put out or deterred. “Only one of us needs to. It is, however, the responsibility of the other one to say yes, though.”

“Is that right? Then I’d better do my part.” Finally allowing himself to touch her, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered gruffly, “Yes, my darling, Sabrina. Yes.”