Military Daddy (16 page)

Suddenly her anger came roaring to the forefront. “What do you want from me, God? Tell me what You want and I'll do it,” she yelled. “I'll do anything except go back to what I was. I won't do that!” She threw the bottle at the mirror and they both broke into pieces.

A strange calm filled her mind, then a tiny flutter stirred under her heart. Relief made her knees weak. Her daughter still lived.

She took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed. Closing her eyes, she breathed a prayer of thanks.

She would treasure each moment, each quivering movement until the very end. If this was all the time she had left with her baby, she was going to spend it with the utmost care.

Sounds made her look up and she saw Shane stepping into her room through the window. The oddity of it didn't even strike her as strange. Smiling at him, she said, “The baby moved. She isn't gone.”

He crossed the room and dropped to his knees beside her. “Thank God.”

“I'm sorry I tried to keep you away. She's your child, too. I see how wrong I was.”

“Are you okay?”

“I almost took a drink. I wanted to so badly.”

“But you didn't.”

She reached out and cupped his cheek. “No. Thank you for believing in me.”

Covering her hand with his own, he turned his face to kiss her palm. “I believe in us.” Rising to his feet, he said, “I have an air ambulance on its way to the airfield. There is a surgeon in Houston who will meet us at the hospital and tell us if he can help the baby.”

“Oh, Shane, I don't know if I can do it. What if we get our hopes up only to hear that she can't be saved. Right now she is with us, surrounded by the people who love her.”

“Annie, you're right, we both love her. No matter what happens, that love won't change. She is in God's hands. She always has been. If He takes her from us, it will be to carry her to a place of perfect peace.”

“I know, but I want her here with me.”

“So do I. I don't know what God has planned for us, but if there is even a remote chance that our baby might live, we have to try. We will do everything humanly possible and leave the rest up to God. Do you remember when I told you my father wasn't involved when I grew up?”

“Yes. I remember thinking how sad you looked when you said it.”

“That wasn't the whole truth. My father lived in the same town as my mother and I did. He had a nice house and a successful business, while we lived in a run-down rented trailer. He also had a wife and three kids. Not once in my life did he acknowledge me.”

“Oh, Shane.” Her heart ached for the little boy he had been and the pain he had endured.

“When my mother died, he came to the funeral. I was so scared and worried about what would happen to me. I saw him, I thought he had come to take me home with him. I didn't have anyone else. But he left without even speaking to me. Do you know how unwanted, how unloved that made me feel?”

“I'm so sorry he hurt you.”

“I vowed that day that I would never be anything like him.”

“You aren't.”

“That's why I can't stand by and do nothing. My baby has to know that I will turn the world upside down for her.”

“I understand, but I'm afraid…afraid to start hoping again.”

“I'll be with you, Annie. Together we can face the worst, because we have faith that it isn't the end.”

She stared into his eyes, their bright blue depths full of pleading. Finally she nodded. “All right. I'll go.”

He pulled her to her feet and into his arms. “That's my brave Annie. Come on, we have a plane to catch.”

Sniffling, Annie wiped her eyes. “If I'm going to be staying in Houston until she's born, I'll need a few things.”

“Okay, but hurry. I've got a taxi waiting outside.”

He opened the bedroom door. Olivia sat on the floor outside. Rising to her feet, she frowned at him and said, “How did you get in?”

“I used the ladder from the garden shed to get up on the roof and then I came in through the window.”

“Cool. You Army guys rock.”

Annie hurried to the closet but paused with her hand on the doorknob. Looking over her shoulder at Shane, she said, “Crystal left. She's drinking again.”

“I know.”

“I was too wrapped up in my own problems to see that she needed help.”

“It's not your fault.”

“I know that. She will have to find her own way back. I pray she does. Olivia, will you help me pack?”

In a few minutes Annie had the necessities gathered and stuffed into her threadbare green duffel bag. Shane picked it up and held open the bedroom door to let Annie and Olivia precede him. Annie was halfway down the stairs when a loud clap of thunder shook the house.

Irrational panic stole her breath. She collapsed onto the steps and covered her ears with her hands.

“A
nnie, what is it?” Shane dropped the duffel bag on the steps and made his way to her side. She didn't answer him.

At the bottom of the stairs Olivia turned around. “It's the storm. She's petrified of them.”

Shane pulled Annie's hands away from her face. “Annie, listen to me. We need to go. It's just a storm.”

“I can't,” she whispered.

He slipped an arm around her shoulders. “You can. I've got you.”

Leaning into his embrace, she shuddered as the next roll of thunder cracked outside. It was quickly followed by the sound of the rising wind. He racked his mind for a way to comfort her. “Annie, remember the story in the Bible about Jesus walking across the water to the boat with His disciples in it?”

“Yes.” Her voice was so small he almost couldn't hear it.

“When He asked Peter to come across the water to Him, what happened?”

“I don't remember.”

“Yes, you do. Peter began walking on the water, but then he noticed the storm and he began to sink.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me what happened next. I know that you know.”

“Jesus held out His hand and took hold of Peter.”

“That's right. And what did He say to Peter?”

“Oh, ye of little faith. Why do you doubt me?”

“You aren't a woman of little faith, Annie.”

She burrowed closer as the thunder rumbled again. “Sometimes I am.”

“Okay, sometimes we all doubt, but not now. Say it. Say I'm a woman of strong faith.”

“I'm a woman…of strong faith.”

“Good. Now I'm going to pick you up and I'm going to carry you to the car outside.”

“No.”

“You'll get wet, that's all that will happen. I'm going to take care of you. Do you believe that? Open your eyes and look at me. Do you believe I'll keep you safe?”

She drew away from him enough to meet his gaze. “Yes.”

“All right, then. Here we go.” He stood and scooped her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck in a death grip.

He said, “Olivia, get the door. Here we go, Annie. I've got you.”

She buried her face in his neck and whispered, “I'm a woman of strong faith.”

“That's right. Just keep saying it.”

“I'm a woman of strong faith. Oh, hurry.”

He did just that, rushing down the steps to the waiting taxi, with Olivia carrying Annie's bag behind him. From the corner of his eye he saw Marge pull into the drive. At least now he didn't have to worry about leaving Olivia alone in the storm.

He placed Annie in the backseat and took her bag from Olivia. Marge came running up to stand beside him. Quickly he explained what they were doing and told Marge he would call when they got to Houston. After a quick hug from both mother and daughter, he climbed in beside Annie. She burrowed into his side as he gave the cabbie directions.

Twenty minutes later they were at the small commercial airstrip outside of town, where a twin-engine Cessna sat on the runway. The storm had moved on, leaving the tarmac gleaming with pockets of silver puddles glistening in the runway lights and the night air smelling freshly washed.

A crew of three met them at the door of the plane. A young man in a blue jumpsuit introduced himself as their flight nurse. After a few brief instructions, he settled Annie on the gurney and hooked her up to a small monitor. The steady bleep of her heart rate was all but drowned out by the engine noise as the pilot prepared for takeoff. After the nurse had Annie strapped in, he instructed Shane to take a nearby jump seat and then gave the all-clear to the pilot. Moments later the plane was airborne.

Once they stopped climbing, the nurse loosened Annie's straps and had her turn on her left side. She reached out, and Shane took her hand.

 

Shane's strong grip gave Annie a measure of peace as he squeezed her fingers in a gesture of reassurance. His determination gave her the strength she needed to nourish a small spark of hope.

“Thank you,” she said, knowing the words were inadequate to express her gratitude for all he had done.

“You're welcome,” he said with a soft smile full of love and understanding. “We'll be there in a couple of hours. Try and get some rest.”

Annie closed her eyes, but she knew she wouldn't sleep. She kept one hand on her tummy, waiting for and rejoicing in each movement the baby made. When the baby slept for long periods without moving, Annie prayed.

Please, God, don't let it be too late. Please let this be the right decision.

Finally she felt the plane begin its descent. The young man in charge of her care made sure she was secure and then took his seat beside Shane. The plane touched down with a few hard bumps, then taxied along the runway to where an ambulance sat waiting.

Within minutes she found herself transferred into the waiting vehicle. Shane wasn't allowed to ride in back with her but had to sit with the driver. She missed the comfort his presence brought, but she knew she could make the rest of the journey alone if she had to. He believed she was strong. She would be for his sake. The pilot and her nurse wished her well as the door was being closed.

Annie realized that she didn't even know their names. It was humbling to know so many strangers were willing to help her and her child. The world might be full of pain and sorrow, but it was full of good people, too.

The ride to the medical center was uneventful. When the ambulance doors opened again, the bright lights and bustle of a busy emergency room surrounded her. As she was wheeled in through the hospital doors, she glanced back, trying to find Shane.

“We're taking you straight up to the obstetrical unit,” the man pushing her bed told her as they passed out of the emergency room and into a long corridor.

“Where is Shane? The man who came with me.”

“He's been shown to the admissions office. He'll be up when he gets finished with the paperwork and after they have you settled in your room on OB.” Annie nodded and tried to relax. Soon they would know if all of this effort had been for nothing. She wanted Shane beside her when she heard the doctor's report.

A flurry of activity greeted Annie when she reached her room. Nurses checked her vital signs and soon had her hooked up to a fetal monitor. The rapid beep-beep of her daughter's heartbeat was music to Annie's ears, but she caught the worried glance shared between two of the nurses.

“What is it?” Annie demanded.

“The baby's heart rate is a little too fast. We're calling for a stat echo. Dr. Wong will be here shortly.”

There was nothing Annie could do but wait, worry and pray as the minutes dragged on.

Shane arrived just as the sonogram machine was being moved into the room. Intense relief at seeing him flooded her body and brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them back. It wasn't time for tears. Not yet.

Making his way around the people in the room, Shane reached her side and took hold of her hand. She brought it to her face and held it close. With his free hand he smoothed the hair back from her forehead and planted a kiss on her brow. Wordlessly they waited.

The sonogram technician had just started when a small Asian man in rumpled green scrubs came into the room, followed by a tall man with thick black-rimmed glasses. “What do we have?” the first one asked, taking the wand from the tech's hand and studying the image on the screen intently.

The nurse wrapping a blood-pressure cuff around Annie's arm said, “This is Dr. Wong and Dr Wilmeth.”

“Hello, hello,” Dr. Wong said, never taking his eyes from the screen. “I want to meet your baby first and then I'll talk to you. Ah, yes, it is a big mass. Even bigger than Dr. Merrick reported.”

Dr. Wilmeth leaned over his shoulder. “This is not good.”

“Can you save her?” Annie asked, squeezing Shane's hand tightly.

Dr. Wong looked up at his partner. “She's in trouble, but I think she has a chance if we go to surgery right away.”

Pushing his glasses higher on his nose, Dr. Wilmeth said, “We can try. Do they know the risks?”

Dr. Wong handed the wand back to the technician waiting patiently at his side. “I've seen all I need. Get the rest of the measurements for me, please.”

He pulled off his gloves with a snap and tossed them into the trash can against the wall. “I want you to know that this is a very risky and delicate procedure. Many things can go wrong. It has only been done a handful of times. I can't guarantee anything.”

“We understand that,” Shane assured him.

“It will be major surgery for both of you,” Dr. Wilmeth added. “The baby isn't mature enough to survive outside the womb. Even if the surgery is a success, there is a chance you will deliver prematurely and she will die anyway or suffer major repercussions such as blindness, cerebral palsy, deafness or seizures. Miss Delmar, the risks to you include bleeding, infection and the possibility that you won't be able to have other children. You must be prepared to spend weeks here being monitored around the clock and given drugs to halt any labor.”

Annie looked at Shane. He would have to go back to Fort Riley and on to Germany in a few weeks. She would be in a strange city alone, without anyone to support her if the worst happened. How could she do it?

Shane pressed his lips together, then said, “It's your decision, Annie.”

When had she ever made a good decision? Her life had been filled with mistakes and bad judgment. Now Shane was asking her to make the most important decision of all. “You think I can do this?”

“I know you can. Hey, you went out in a thunderstorm, didn't you?”

She managed a half smile. “That's right. What was I thinking? I'm practically Super Annie.”

“Honey, you're the closest thing to a superhero I have ever met—and I've met some tough people.”

“Okay.” She called on every ounce of faith she possessed and prayed she was doing the right thing for her baby and herself. Turning her gaze back to Dr. Wong, she said, “I'm ready when you are. I will do whatever it takes.”

“Are you sure you don't have any questions?”

“None,” Shane said. “But I do need you to do me a favor. I need a paternity test done. The Army requires proof that this is my baby before she can be considered a dependent since Annie and I aren't married. And I'm told we need to speak to a social worker about getting Annie a medical card.”

“Very well. Nurse, if you will get the consents signed and take care of notifying social work, I will notify the operating room. Oh, and get my usual labs stat and notify the blood bank that I want three units of packed cells on hold for this.”

As the doctors and nurses filed out of the room, Annie found herself alone with Shane. He pulled a chair close to her bedside and sat down with a sigh.

“Are you tired?” She had been so concerned about herself that she hadn't given any thought to what he had been going through.

He wrinkled his nose. “A little.”

“I'll trade you places and you can go get some sleep in surgery.”

“On second thought, I'm not tired at all.” He glanced at his watch. “It's only four-forty in the morning. In twenty minutes I will have been up for twenty-four hours.”

A sudden thought struck Annie. “Shane, how did you get emergency leave so quickly? I'm not even your dependent.”

“I'm not exactly on leave.”

“You're AWOL? Shane!” She rose on her elbows to stare at him in shocked disbelief.

“I will be in twenty more minutes. Don't worry. Captain Watson is a stand-up guy. He'll understand and he'll do what he can for me.”

“You'll be thrown in the brig. You'll be busted in rank. You won't get the promotion you've been working for.”

“No, but I got to hold your hand for seven hundred miles. I think that's worth a night in the brig.”

“Be serious. You could be in big trouble.”

“Relax. I'm not going to be in big trouble. I promise. A little trouble, yes, but nothing I can't handle. They'll tell me to get back as soon as possible and I'll do that.”

She sank back onto the bed. “You didn't have to come. I would have come alone if I had known you were risking a court-martial to be here.”

He reached out and cupped her cheek. “I didn't
have
to be here, Annie. I
want
to be here. With you.”

Covering his hand with her own, she closed her eyes and drew a quick breath. “I'm so glad you are. I'm so scared.”

“Me, too, but we'll get through this together. You, me, the baby and God.”

The door to the room opened again and two women in blue surgical garb pushed a narrow cart into the room. “We're here to take you to surgery, Miss Delmar. I have some papers for you to sign, but first I need to see your identification bracelet.”