Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD (15 page)

2. Do a Requirement map. From the log you just did, choose someone whose behavior brought on your PTSD symptoms or caused you the most distress. Write that person’s name in the oval. Around the oval, scatter your requirements for how you want that person to act; label these “R”. Next, under each requirement, write what thoughts (“T”) you have when the other person does
not
meet that requirement. Below each thought, note whatever body tension (“BT”) you have when the other person doesn’t meet your requirement. Take your time doing this map. See the sample map that follows.

requirement map

1. In this mind-body state, how do you act?
   

   ______________________________
   

2. Are you starting to see how your requirements affect your relationship? Yes ____ No ____
   
3. Do you think the distress just shown is interfering with your ability to heal yourself from PTSD? Yes ____ No ____
   
4. Use your bridging awareness practices and thought labeling, and go back over your relationship requirements. What happens?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

Sample requirement map

3. Write the name of the person from the previous map in the next oval. Next, choose the requirement that still causes you the most distress when it’s not met (for example,
He should respect me
) and write that on the line. Now scatter your thoughts around the oval, describing how things would look if that person
did
meet that requirement. Use as much detail as possible. For example, if the requirement choice is
He should respect me
, you might write,
He should not raise his voice
,
He should always call me when he’s running late
,
He should talk to me before making a big decision
,or
He should be nice to my family.

Requirement I Most Want Met:____________

1. Do you really think this will happen? Yes ____ No ____
   
2. Does this map show how useless it is to try to meet your requirements? Yes ____ No ____
   
3. Can you see that it’s your requirement for how the other person should act that’s causing your distress? Yes ____ No ____
   
4. Using your bridging awareness practices and thought labeling, go back over your requirement. What happens?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   The release in body tension shows that when the situation comes up again, you are prepared to defuse your requirements.
   

5. Can you see how this would change your relationship and let you heal yourself? Yes ____ No ____
   

Day Four     Date:____________

1. Throughout the day, focus on your troubling relationships. Notice any signs of an overactive I-System (such as body tension, cluttered mind, storylines, or depressor-fixer activity).

1. When you saw the signs of your overactive I-System, what was the other person’s behavior that activated your I-System?
   Example:
   “Kim was cold to me.”
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

2. How did you react? What was your behavior?
   Example:
   “Felt pressure building in my chest and saw my negative self-talk; felt my feet on the ground and calmed down. I even felt okay about staying in the same room with her.”
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

3. What storylines did you recognize?
   Example:
   “She doesn’t love me…”
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

4. List the requirements you recognized.
   Example:
   “Kim should always show me affection.”
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

5. When you were faced today with a situation that used to set off your I-System, did you defuse some requirements? List them.
   Example:
   “Before, whenever Kim was cold, I felt totally bad, got mad, and stomped out of the house. Now, I realize it was my requirement that made me feel miserable. So I stayed home, and we watched TV.”
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

2. Do a Requirement map.In the oval, write the name of the person who continues to trouble you the most. Around the oval, scatter your requirements for how that person shouldact. Next, under each requirement, write any body tension you have when the other person does
not
meet your requirement.

1. Is your mind cluttered or clear?
   

   ______________________________
   

2. Is your body tense or relaxed?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

3. In this mind-body state, how do you act?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   Your requirements for how people should act keep your PTSD going, which prevents you from healing.
   

3. Do another Requirement map, this timeusing your bridging awareness practices. Write the same person’s name in the oval. Before you continue writing, listen to background sounds, feel your body’s pressure on your seat, sense your feet on the floor, and feel the pen in your hand. Once you’re settled, keep feeling the pen in your hand and start writing any thoughts that come to mind about how that person should act. Watch the ink go onto the paper and keep listening to background sounds.

Observe the differences between the two maps:

1. How do your thoughts on this map about how that person should act differ from those on the previous map?
   

   ______________________________
   

2. Now, what body sensations do you notice when you imagine that person failing to do what you put on this map?
   

   ______________________________
   

   The absence of body tension means the thought is not a requirement.
   

3. In the mind-body state you noted previously, how do you act?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

4. Are you now ready to defuse, in real time, the requirements you listed on your previous map? Yes ____ No ____
   

   This exercise lets you know firsthand that it’s your I-System, not the other person’s behavior, that causes your distress.
   

Day Five     Date:____________

The simple act of recognizing a requirement starts changing your thoughts and actions, and makes healing possible. Today’s exercise is about recognizing and defusing additional requirements you have for other people and for situations. For the more difficult-to-defuse requirements, it helps to first focus on small bits of behaviors and situations; for example, rather than deal with a general behavior like
My boss doesn’t appreciate me
, break it down into many smaller, specific behaviors:
the way he looks at me
,
the way he smiles at others
,
the critical tone of his voice
,
the sharp words he uses.
This allows you to recognize very specific requirements:
He should look at me kindly, he should smile at me, he should speak in a supportive voice,
and
he should use gentle words
. Next, use your bridging awareness practices on each of these separate requirements. Remember, after you recognize a requirement, it’s ready to be defused.

1. What did you notice today?

______________________________

______________________________

______________________________

Can you now face that same situation without getting too distressed and with natural functioning? At stake here are not only your relationships but also your ability to heal yourself from PTSD.

2. The purpose of mapping is to see your I-System in action. Let your I-System “run wild” on the next map. This is a great way to recognize your requirements. Do a map about a situation that upset you today. Write that situation in the oval and scatter your thoughts around it for the next few minutes. Describe your body tension at the bottom of the map.

Situation Map