Mind Calm (14 page)

Thanks to the Judgement Game, the Resist Persist, the Attach Catch and the Time Trap, your mind might never be truly calm, contented or happy. Thankfully you don't have to wait. Engage GAAWO and make it your priority to be aware of the inner consciousness that has no reason not to be happy, peaceful, loving and free.

Meditation works if you do it often enough. Keep going even if your mind tells you to stop. Suspend self-judgement by trusting the wise people in your life when they reflect back to you the changes that they see in you.

Another common meditation happening is emotions. Thoughts and emotions go hand in hand. Either you will have thoughts and a corresponding emotion will occur, or
your mind will notice an emotional energy within the body and start thinking about what it is, why you're feeling that way, label it as positive or negative, and start planning how to get rid of it, if judged as bad. Irrespective, it is highly beneficial to treat your emotions in a similar way to your thoughts - see them and let them be present without interfering in the natural mind-body activity.

When I first started meditating, I was going through a relationship split: losing a child that I'd been raising because she wasn't biologically ‘mine', losing the house that I'd been living in, along with a business that I'd worked very hard to help build, too. In short, I thought I was losing my family, home, career and financial stability, and it was one of the most challenging times in my life.

When I sat down to meditate, do you think there was only calm and stillness? Absolutely not!

All the stress from the break-up and sadness and fear from the imposed life changes had to be released. Experiencing a huge amount of inner turmoil, my mind wanted to think in depth about what was happening and how I could fix it. As a result of all the thinking, I felt flooded with a host of intense emotions, from anger to despair. In an attempt to feel better, I ended up using meditation to try to make the bad feelings go away. However, in doing so, I completely missed the point of meditation, which is largely about learning to be at peace with your thoughts, emotions and life in general.

What I didn't realize at the time was that my attachment to making my negative emotions go away was actually making them stick around longer. Totally unintentionally, by wishing them gone, I was actually focusing my attention on them. I would constantly ‘check in' to see if they'd moved on yet, which didn't give them any space to leave or be present within me. In addition, I also didn't see my mind-based judgements and resistance towards the way I was feeling. All in all, it led to a really uncomfortable and frustrating start to my meditation journey.

Since then, I've actively played with befriending my feelings and giving them space to be. By consciously breathing in a balanced and deep way (most people hold their breath if they don't want to feel something) and seeing the judgements in my mind about the emotions, I've found they immediately stop being ‘negative'. Instead, they fill my body with life-giving energy and often end up being a delightful part of any meditation sitting.

So if you, too, find yourself experiencing what your mind labels as negative emotions, then see what happens when you engage GAAWO and let them be within you without any resistance.

By being consciously aware and letting the
emotions be present within you, you may find
that they pass on through or stick around. Either
way, you won't care and will enjoy the liberation
that comes from having peace with emotions.

Stress moving around and releasing from the body also shows up in a range of physical sensations. You might get an itch, a temporary twitch, or even a passing pain somewhere in your body. Out of habit it is common for the mind to want to judge and resist any unexpected physical sensations. Again, this can be a mind trap if you intentionally engage in lots of thinking about the sensation:
What is it? Why is it here? How long might it stick around? How can I make it go away?

Whenever you notice a painful physical sensation it is very useful to engage GAAWO and temporarily focus on it. To be clear, in circumstances like these with symptoms of physical pain, you should pay attention to the physical sensations, not the thoughts you might be having in your mind about the pain. This distinction is important, as it's the difference between experiencing pain or suffering. Suffering occurs when you start thinking about the physical pain. Get the difference?

I appreciate that there is a fine line between pain and suffering, especially if it is intensely uncomfortable. Your mind might say
I'm suffering due to my intense pain
. However, the reality of the situation is the suffering stems from engaging in judgemental thinking about the pain. By seeing the mind-based judgements and resistance towards the physical sensation, you can peacefully co-exist with physical discomfort. This is genuinely amazing news as it means you don't have to wait until your physical body changes or improves before you can rest into the calming context of conscious awareness.

Let pain or other physical sensations be your teacher, providing immediate feedback as to when you are consciously aware or lost in your thoughts about the stuff happening in your body.

For some people, becoming super aware and watching the sensations causes them to diminish or even disappear. For others they may continue, but the suffering won't. It goes without saying that pain is your body's way of telling you that something needs attention. You might need to seek professional guidance from health practitioners and actively do things to help your body heal. The main thing to know is that all kinds of physical sensations can happen when you meditate and, if they do, let them come and go in the knowledge that you are witnessing stress being released, healing being undertaken and, in some cases, your body speaking the mind.

If the body-mind needs rest, you may find you fall fast asleep during meditation. This is perfectly natural and shouldn't be resisted. However, if you find yourself falling asleep every time you attempt a Calm Sitting then you might need to make a few minor adjustments to your meditation routine.

Although there are no strict sitting postures, if you're lying flat out on a comfy couch or bed, all snug and warm wrapped in your favourite blanket, then it might not lead to the most alert meditation and sleep might be inevitable! So, if you fall asleep more often than not, it might be useful to sit more upright. The further back your head rests, the less alert you will usually be and the more thoughts will
normally happen. So sit up, while always making sure you are comfortable and at ease, as discomfort can act as an unnecessary distraction from the purpose of Mind Calm.

Shortening the length of time of your Calm Sittings can also help. It is better to have 10–20 minutes of alert Mind Calm than a sleepy meander through an hour. Also, you might want to add some variety to when you meditate. I used to meditate every day at 4 p.m. for a couple of hours; however, I found it was the time in the day my body wanted a siesta. So these days I meditate at times of the day when I'm generally more awake.

Monitor your most wakeful times of the day
and close your eyes to maximize
the conscious-raising results.

Exercising before a Calm Sitting can make you more physiologically alert, too. There's no need to run a marathon or anything too strenuous. Two or three yoga postures, a few star jumps or a walk up the stairs will suffice and, when combined with a refreshing drink of good quality water, you'll find that your chances of falling asleep drop. Overall, with sleep, the key is not to resist the natural needs of your body. If you need to sleep you will, but if you sleep every time you meditate, then you won't be having a regular meditation routine, but instead, you're having what I affectionately call a ‘meep'. Meeps are sleeps that start off with a short meditation! For the best results, aim to be alert when you meditate - you are closing your eyes in order to wake up, after all.

Don't worry. It isn't all ‘bad' news! Using Mind Calm can also lead to copious amounts of peace, joy and love too. You will enjoy times of feeling an immense deep peace, as if you are resting in a still ocean of calm. Joy can bubble up when learning to let go of the mind. In happy times like these, you will notice a big smile on your face and might even need to laugh out loud. Let the joy flow, as it wants to naturally.

Love and oneness can be a very beautiful
side effect of letting go of judgement,
resistance and attachment, and resting
into the presence of your being.

Mind-based constructs that have created the illusion of a separate ‘me' fall away, leaving a love-filled unified consciousness in its place. You feel a great love and compassion towards yourself and everyone you meet. Irrespective of how long you've known them, what their personality happens to be like, or any other criteria your mind may have previously relied on to deem others loveable. As you let go of your mind-based rulebook of requirements of what people, places, events or things must be like for them to be loveable, you naturally fall in love all day long. Naturally, you connect with others from your unconditional heart that only ever wants to give love without needing anything in return. It is my hope that you will experience the love-filled oneness that is the natural by-product of being one with the consciousness that resides within you, everyone else, everything else and the space in between.

The mind is moving, consisting of thoughts and emotions that come and go. Therefore, your mind cannot mimic the experience of still silent space. As a result, you are genuinely beyond your mind when you're in the present moment, directly experiencing consciousness when you are attentive to the presence of still silent space within. Knowing this helps to avoid confusion as to whether or not you are present, allowing you to be confident that if you are ever thinking about whether you are present, you can be sure at that moment you're not!

Stillness, silence and spaciousness can be savoured too. When meditating, if you become aware of a stillness or quietness or bigness, then gently put your attention on these qualities. In times like these you are directly experiencing consciousness. Remember the mind only exists when it's moving. The mind gives the appearance of a voice in your head that can sound loud at times. And the mind, due to its conceptual thought-based nature, can be limiting and constrictive. So being attentive to the still silent space is a very good sign that you are beyond the confines of your mind, resting in the infinite.

A great spiritual teacher once said, ‘Be still and know that you are God.' These clear and concise eight words share, perhaps, the only strategy you ultimately need to live a liberated life free from mind-based fear, and full of
peace, love and joy. Furthermore, in my humble opinion, I'd suggest knowing you are not separate from divinity, and living each day experiencing the presence of the unbounded within, is a big reason why you were born.

Stress will want to release, healing will want to take place and the mind will play its games. Just don't buy into the belief that Mind Calm meditation isn't working if you encounter memories, get lost occasionally in dream-like mental concoctions, have millions of thoughts or uneasy emotions, notice physical sensations or sometimes sleep or meep. Inevitably, all these things will happen, sometimes all in the same Calm Sitting! The only part of you that will ever care how your meditation looks and feels is your mind. Be free to simply be - by letting it all go.

There are no ‘good' or ‘bad' meditations
– it is only judgemental thinking
that makes them appear so.

Stunning states of being, including peace, joy, and love, are waiting to be cherished and enjoyed. All you need to do, to reconnect with the array of beautiful fragrances that make up your being, is be willing to release your grasp on the mind. Turn your attention towards present moment awareness and be still.

1. Memories
   
2. Abstract dreams
   
3. Millions of thoughts
   
4. Emotional energy
   
5. Physical sensations
   
6. Sleeps and meeps
   
7. Peace, love, joy and oneness
   
8. Still silent space
   

By highlighting the common meditation happenings, it is my hope that you are more willing to both let them happen and let them go whenever they do. For the more stubborn thoughts or uncomfortable emotions that may occur, I recommend you read the next two chapters to adopt the most optimal meditation mind-set, and also learn a recommended protocol for getting peace with any problematic thoughts, emotions or physical sensations, which may be harder to let go when using Mind Calm.