Mind Calm (16 page)

To love unconditionally is to be in
harmony with what is.

With traditional therapy, the focus is on changing the mind, but with Mind Calm, a modern-day meditation model, it is all about changing your relationship with your mind. This more conscious-raising way of healing involves seeing
your mind-made judgements about life, which are making things into problems, and then being willing to let go of the inner resistance that is making you feel bad.

When getting ‘peace with mind' you do not need to engage in any kind of intellectual reasoning as to why you can be at peace with your past, present or future. Which, again, is different to the traditional therapeutic model, which usually involves talking or thinking at length about more positive ways of re-perceiving problematic people, events or things. With traditional therapy, if something ‘bad' has happened, you will aim to find more positive ways to think about the problem so the mind can feel justified to be at peace with it. However, when getting ‘peace with mind', this is not necessary. Instead your focus is entirely on seeing the judgemental thoughts in your mind that you are resisting. Remember, it is not what's happening that is a problem, but instead your thoughts and emotions about what's happening that are making things appear to be problems.

When you get peace with the thoughts and
emotions that you are having about life, you then
immediately get peace with what has happened,
is happening and might happen in your life.

With the intention of bringing meditation to life and making it a highly practical resource for people to use within a range of contexts, I teamed up with Sasha Allenby, co-author of the bestselling book
Matrix Reimprinting
(Hay House, 2010). Sasha and I started working together when we recognized a shared passion for offering an alternative
approach to traditional therapy that could help people to let go of problems, but in a more consciously aware way.

Sasha and I both have therapeutic backgrounds (Sasha with Matrix Reimprinting and me with Mind Detox Method) and have helped thousands of people worldwide. Both of these techniques are very effective when it comes to changing the mind, letting go of trauma and getting peace with what's happened in the past. To this day, I still offer Mind Detox clinics and teach Mind Detox Practitioners via my Academy. (So, at no point am I saying that therapy is redundant and, if you feel that you could benefit from seeing a therapist, you might want to check out Sasha's Matrix Reimprinting or my
Heal the Hidden Cause
books to see if these modalities resonate with you). However, if you've done therapy, but still find yourself falling into old patterns, and are looking for the next step post-therapy, then I believe what I'm going to share now could be it.

Therapy can offer very useful interventions to resolves specific issues. If you have a problem then you can think through solutions and get into a better frame of mind. However, what next? I've met a lot of people who are experiencing what I call ‘post-therapy limbo', whereby they have done lots of work on themselves and have got to the point where they feel there's more to personal growth than fixing and changing things, but don't know what. This is where the Reawakening Protocol, developed by Sasha and I, can offer a way forward.

The Reawakening Protocol, which in this book I also refer to as the ‘Peace with Mind Protocol', is a non-therapeutic
intervention that can be used to get peace with a specific problem from the Mind Calm mind-set outlined at the beginning of this chapter. Awakened is a term commonly used when referring to living in a consciously aware state of being. We use this protocol to wake up from the mind-based judgements and resistances through being consciously aware. It is always used alongside Mind Calm, but whereas Mind Calm is typically used in a more general way, the Reawakening Protocol provides precise steps on how to get peace with specific problems that you are feeling compelled to think about at length during daily life or Calm Sittings.

When going about your day or during your Calm Sittings, you may find that you come across some thoughts that are emotionally intense. They play havoc in your mind more than other thoughts, which you find easier to let go of with Mind Calm. They might be thoughts about your health, a friend or family member, or your financial situation, for example. ‘Special thoughts' are ones that feel very personal and usually have emotions associated with them. They are thoughts that you tend not to see, but immediately start ‘being', i.e. thinking about, whenever they pass through your awareness. For example,

• Am I with the right person?
  
• What if my body never gets better?
  
• What if something bad happens to my children?
  
• How am I going to pay the bills this month?
  

These are just some of the special thoughts that people can find it harder to let go of, to the point that if they were
to sit down to meditate then they could end up thinking about their special thoughts for the majority of the time.

Special thoughts grab your attention and before
you know it you can end up lost in thinking.

Having had many people come to me with emotionally charged special thoughts like these, I have become very clear that it isn't always enough to just tell them to ‘go home and meditate'. To do that would often set them up for uncomfortable Calm Sittings that could make them avoid meditating and, in some cases, cause them to quit for good. I don't want this for you. I want you to enjoy meditation and so I have co-created the following protocol that I recommend you use alongside Mind Calm on any of the more stubborn special thoughts that you may come across. You will find when using the Reawakening Protocol that your special thoughts stop feeling so special and as a result become easier to let go of when continuing with Mind Calm.

Before taking you through in detail this protocol for getting peace with mind, here is a quick summary so you can understand how it sits alongside Mind Calm.

State the problem that you want to heal your relationship with today.

Be here now by tuning in and noticing that this moment is happening.

Temporarily engage the story in your mind about the problem.

Notice the ‘special thought' you are resisting and where you feel it in your body.

Let the ‘special thought' and feeling be present within you with no resistance.

Play with ‘seeing it, not being it' during a Calm Sitting.

From reading through the above six steps, you will see that you start by deciding upon the problem you want to heal your relationship with. You then have a reality check to tune in to now, put your attention on the context of this moment using
GAAWO
or by using the
Noticing Now Space Mind Calm Game
.

Once you are fully present, you then temporarily leave the moment to go intentionally into your mind to start thinking about the problem. The reason for being present first is so that you see the movement away from the calm of now into the movement of your mind. (With time your desire to leave calm will diminish, but for now, continue with the protocol if it is a special thought that is demanding your attention). Once you've thought about the story for a short while (ideally no more than three minutes), you want to find which thought within the story has the most emotional intensity to it. This will be your
special thought and the one that you are going to heal your relationship with.

When you know the special thought, you will take a moment to notice where you feel the thought in your body. Remember, if you are resisting the thought there will be negative emotion present. You will usually feel the thought in your stomach, solar plexus or chest, but it can be anywhere, so just trust your first answer. Then, when you know the special thought and location of the associated feelings, you turn your attention to letting go of inner resistance. This is done with the intention to ‘bring it on' and by letting it be present within you. Having stopped resisting the thought and feeling, you will find the emotion ease and calm return (and in some cases, you may even find yourself laughing at the special thought). At this point, you can stop the protocol here or sit for a while using closed-eye Mind Calm.

Doing a Mind Calm sitting at this point allows you to practise seeing the story of the problem in your mind and letting it go by returning to GAAWO and your Calm Thoughts. Using Mind Calm can instil the habit of being at peace with the particular thoughts and emotions with which you had a problem.

Upon completing this procedure you will find that you will no longer feel compelled to think about the special thought. It will feel more neutral, and be easier to let go of and return to Mind Calm moving forward. Please remember, there is an important distinction between therapy and this meditative approach. You are not engaging in any intellectual reasoning in order to try to get peace with the problem. Instead, with this protocol, you are getting peace
with the thoughts and emotions that you were having about the issue in your life.

By getting peace with your mind
naturally, you get peace with your life.

Pretty amazing stuff if you play with it! This alternative to therapy can help you get peace simply by seeing that the real cause of your suffering is unseen judgements and resistances. Using this protocol, you can observe the judgement thoughts and let go of resistance to return to inner calm immediately. Wow, imagine the possibilities!

Now you are aware of the six steps to get peace with any problem that is playing havoc with your Mind Calm, here follow the full instructions for the Reawakening Protocol Using Mind Calm Meditation.

• Only use this protocol on your own if you are confident you can do so without the support of a qualified Reawakening Protocol Practitioner or Mind Calm Master Coach.
  
• If you find the protocol difficult then you could, if you preferred, put a temporary hold on using it until you have been practising Mind Calm meditation for a while and begun to cultivate the ability to be attentive to still silent consciousness.
  

Without going into the story yet, briefly describe the problem with which you want to heal your relationship today.

In order to for you to heal your relationship with this issue, start with a Reality Check by noticing that this moment is happening
: What can I currently see? What sounds can I hear? What am I physically touching?
To align your attention with now you can also use ‘
Noticing Now Space
' or
GAAWO
.

Once resting more aware of the present moment, you are in the optimum state to continue with the next step.

Events become problems when you take your attention away from the present moment to think about them in your mind. If you want to stay calm, then stay present with context awareness. However, if you have a special thought that is demanding your attention and leading to the compulsion to overthink, then, for no longer than three minutes, leave this moment and intentionally engage the story in your mind about the problem.

Consider:
What is the problem? Why is it a problem? Ultimately, what is it about what happened, is happening or might happen that is the problem for me?

Having been thinking about the story, now notice and take note of which of the thought(s) included in your story has
the highest emotional intensity associated with it/them. The one with the highest emotional charge is the special thought that you are resisting. Remember, thousands of thoughts pass through your awareness every day, but when your special thought happens you immediately resist its existence. Therefore, it is your inner resistance to the special thought that is causing the stress and negative emotions you may be feeling.

Consider this:
What thought am I resisting most and where do I feel that thought in my body?

Before moving on to the next step, make sure you have a specific special thought and the location in your body where you feel the thought.

Special thought + emotion in body.

Now the good news: It is not what has happened, is happening or might happen that's the problem, but instead your relationship with your thoughts about these things that is determining how you are currently feeling. Remember, there has been an unseen judgement and resistance to the presence of the thoughts in your mind and emotions in your body that you need to see and let go of if you want to return to calm.

Consider this:
What happens when I say ‘bring it on' to the thoughts and feelings?

Watch the thoughts and emotions and let them be present with you - without resisting them. As you remain aware through watching, observe what happens to the
thoughts and feelings when you say ‘bring it on' to them (out loud or silently). If you are no longer resisting the thoughts and feelings with an attitude of ‘bring it on', then their emotional intensity will subside, to be replaced with calmer and more light-hearted feelings.

Now you are going to sit for a while (from 5 to 15 minutes) in closed-eye meditation and play with seeing the stories in your mind about the problem.