Mindset (5 page)

Callie’s grandfather stood up and walked slowly over to Eva.  “First of all, Eva, we want to thank you for helping Callie out like you did.  It sounds like she’s not the only one here who’s brave.  Second of all, it doesn’t sound to me like you have anything at all to be ashamed about.  The shame is on the man you married, hon.  I got no use for a man who hits a woman.  There’s no excuse for it, and as far as I’m concerned, all men like that are cowards.   Now, I don’t know what to think about the policemen and lawyers in New York.  I can’t for the life of me understand how they could turn their backs on you like they did.  But you’re in Texas now.  Callie’s brother Josh is a lawyer, and he’ll be back in town tomorrow some time.  He’ll know what to do to get you out of this trouble.  In the mean time, you’ll stay with us.  Don’t you worry about that husband of yours.  You’re safe now.

“Mr. Scanlan, John, before you extend that invitation, I want you to know that my husband will definitely come after me.  He did twice before, even hired a private investigator to find me.  He’s a violent man who’s used to getting what he wants, and he’s not going to give up.”

“Now honey, you just don’t worry about that.  He may have a lot of pull in New York, but this is Texas.  We do things different here.  Like I said, you can stay here with us for as long as you like.  Now, what kind of men are these guys we’re dealing with, besides being cowards?”

Cade spoke up for the first time, his eyes locked on Callie’s face.  “They’re rich, society types, right?  Old money, probably, Ivy League education, with all the right connections to get whatever they want.”

“How did you know that?”  When Cade declined to answer Eva and just continued to look at Callie, even after she looked away, Eva continued.  “That’s very nice of you John, but I don’t have much money, and the only work I’ve ever done is modeling.  I don’t have any idea how I’m going to support myself.  I can’t take advantage of your kindness like that.”

“Well now, I don’t want you to think this is just charity, Eva.  The way I figure it, we owe you for helping out our girl here.  Besides, you did say you knew your way around the kitchen earlier.  I took over the cooking when my wife died some years back, and I do ok on the grill, but anything else is a stretch for me.  It sure would be nice to get a break for awhile.  How do you feel about taking over the kitchen duties while you’re here?  I should probably warn you, though.  If you agree to this, I’ll put my mind on a way to keep you here for a long time, so I won’t have to cook again for a long while.”

With tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat, Eva just nodded her agreement and excused herself.

“That girl is a lot stronger than she thinks she is.  She’d have to be to get through everything she’s been through.  You did the right thing by bringing her with you, Callie.  She’s a nice girl who deserves better than what she’s had so far, that’s for sure.”

“Yes, she is, Granddad, and she doesn’t have any family or any place to go.  I knew you’d want to help her as much as I do.  And she really did help me, even though she was scared to death.  One minute I was staring up at Richard, and the next I was looking down at him passed out on the floor.  She’s been through a lot, but I’m starting to see signs of the feisty girl she used to be when I met her.  We were inseparable before she got married.  She was always a little quiet around people she didn’t know, but she was happy, had a lot of self-confidence, and never worried about a thing.  Everyone used to think we were sisters with our dark hair and being about the same size.  We were often paired together on photo shoots and runway.  Thanks for finding a way to help her without making her feel like she’s taking a handout.”

“He’s good at that, aren’t you John?  Picking up strays is an old habit of yours.”

“Well, I’ll tell you the truth, Cade.  Sometimes, picking up strays pays off in long run.  Sometimes, they blend in until you can’t even remember a time they weren’t part of the family.  Now, who’s hungry?”

Chapter 4

“Granddad, I’m going to make a plate for Eva and tell her it’s in the fridge if she wants it.”

“You do that, honey.  Now you go on.  We’re finished cleaning the kitchen.  Why don’t you go relax, maybe sit out on the porch awhile.  And Callie.  It’s good to have you home.”  He paused to gather his thoughts and continued.  “Honey, I’m sorry you had to go through what you’ve been through the past few days, but you know you’re safe here.  Nobody’s going to hurt you again.  And if that coward ever thinks to come around here looking for you, well, he’ll have to get through me first.  I may be getting old, but I can still take care of me and mine.”

“Granddad, I’ve never doubted that for a minute.  I know it may not seem like it after tonight, but I really can take care of myself.  I feel so stupid not to have seen Richard for the kind of man he was.  Even before that though, I knew I’d made a mistake when I agreed to marry him.  I was going to break it off anyway, just like I was going to quit modeling.  The problem is, I haven’t figured out what I want to do next.”

“Well, sugar, you’ll figure it out in time.  Modeling is all well and good, but my old granny used to say, pretty is as pretty does.  You made a living off your looks, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  You made a lot of money in a short amount of time, and you got to travel some and meet a lot of interesting people.  But your looks are only one of your blessings, Callie.  You’re smart, you’ve got a college education, and you’ve got courage and a fine character.  You can do whatever you set your mind to do.”

“I love you, Granddad.”  She gave him a big hug and walked towards the back door.  It was dark outside and quiet.  She was just about to do some soul searching about what to do with her future when a movement at the opposite end of the porch caused her to catch her breath and swing around.

“Jeez, Cade, you scared the life out of me!  I thought you’d already headed over to the bunkhouse.”

Cade took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.  He turned toward her.  “All this is my fault, isn’t it?”

This was exactly the conversation she’d been dreading since the family discussion before dinner.  It was bad enough that she’d thrown herself at Cade when she’d been home last.  He’d made it abundantly clear that he didn’t return her feelings.  The last thing she wanted to do now was relive her humiliation. 
Crap!  How am I going to get out of this one?  I know, denial.
  “I don’t know what in the world you’re talking about, Cade.”

“I think you do, Callie.  When you came home last time, we didn’t part on very good terms, did we?  I said some things … hell I told you to go find a high society type with an Ivy League education who had the money and connections to take you wherever you wanted to go.  And you went right out and did exactly that, didn’t you?  It’s because of what I said that you got engaged to that Richard guy, isn’t it?”

“Let’s not do this, Cade, ok?  None of this was your fault.  I was just stupid.  I should have seen Richard for what he was before any of this happened.  It’s nobody’s fault but mine.  I just wasn’t thinking straight.  I should never have accepted his proposal.  It was just poor judgment on my part, that’s all.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that I’d made a mistake.  Unfortunately, Richard didn’t handle the rejection well.”

“Damn it, Callie.  I’m so sorry.”

“Cade, stop it.  If I remember correctly, you only told me that after I practically threw myself at you, and embarrassed both of us.  Look, I’m a big girl.  I made a pass at you, and you didn’t want me.  End of story.  I guess Richard’s not the only one who doesn’t handle rejection well.”

Cade moved quickly and closed the distance between them.  “Is that what you think, Callie?  That I don’t want you?”  Before he could stop himself, all of the anger and frustration after hearing about all that Callie had been through at the hands of the son of a bitch who’d hurt her overtook him and his better judgment.  He pulled her into his arms and took her mouth with his.  All the years of denying himself and his attraction to the woman who should have been like a sister to him came crashing down on him. 

“God damn it, Callie, you taste as good as I always knew you would.  Shit.” 

Callie was stunned.  She opened her eyes wide and looked at this man who she’d fantasized about practically her whole life and pulled his head down to hers for more.  He groaned into her mouth and held her tighter, his hands roaming over her shoulders, down her back, and finally pulling her hips against his own and grinding against her, hard against soft, angles to curves.   Callie answered his groan with one of her own and met him with all the passion she’d been saving for years.  It felt so good to be in his arms, so right.  She put all of herself into this kiss.  Telling him how she felt last time she’d been here hadn’t worked, but maybe if she showed him, he’d finally get it.  All these years, she’d waited for this moment, when Cade finally saw her as a woman and not the awkward girl who used to follow him around everywhere. 
Please don’t send me away again.  I love you.  I always have.  Please love me back.
 

He skimmed his hands up her hips, her sides, then around to her breasts, cupping them in his hands, skimming her nipples with his thumbs.  She moaned with pleasure, burying her fingers into his hair and holding him even closer. 

He tore his mouth from hers, breathing hard.  He held her close for a few seconds more and then started to pull away.  “Cade, don’t stop.  God, you make me feel so good.  I’m burning up for you.”

“Shit.  Callie, we have to stop.  This isn’t right.  I’m sorry I got carried away.  I was just so angry when I saw you hurt, and I know I pushed you to this guy.  I don’t care what you say, this is my fault.  It never would’ve happened if I hadn’t hurt you the last time you were here.  I was feeling … too much, and I lost control.  It won’t happen again, I swear.  Listen to me, Callie.”

“No!  I won’t listen to you!  Cade, I want you.  Don’t push me away again.”

“Callie, stop.  I won’t do this.  I will not repay your grandfather for taking me in, giving me a home, making me part of the family by taking advantage of you this way.  I will not betray his trust or yours.  I’m the last thing you need.  I should be watching out for you, not … this.  I know you must be feeling vulnerable after what you’ve been through, but you’re safe now.  He’s not ever going to lay another hand on you.  He’ll never touch you again, so help me God.”

Cade might just as well have thrown a bucket of ice water on her.  “Vulnerable?  You think I feel
vulnerable
because of Richard?  Here’s a news flash for you Cade.  If I’m feeling the least bit
vulnerable
right now, it hasn’t got a damn thing to do with Richard.  If I’m feeling
vulnerable
, it’s because of you.  This is the second time I’ve put myself out there for you.  Last time, I thought my feelings for you were one-sided, but after tonight, I think you’ve made it pretty clear with that kiss that you’re not exactly indifferent to me, like I thought.  What I don’t understand, is why you didn’t let me know when I finally found the courage to tell you how I felt.  Do you know how much it hurt to think that all this time I’ve wanted you, you never wanted me back?  Do you have any idea how humiliated I felt when you told me to go find someone else?  Why, Cade?  Why did you say that to me?”

Cade put some more space between them and tried to figure out what to tell her, what to say to make her understand that this could never go any further, without hurting her in the process.  “Callie.  You remember when I first came here that summer?  This wasn’t the first place I’d gone looking for work.   I went to a lot of places.  I had just been released from foster care, and I had no place to go.  I had no family, no friends, no future plans.  Hell, the only reason I finished high school was because it was the only way I could keep a roof over my head.  After graduation, they kicked me out, and I didn’t have a choice but to look for some kind of work.”

“Then I came here, and your grandparents took me in and gave me a home.  Oh sure, John said he needed the help and made sure I didn’t think he was giving me a handout, just like he did tonight with your friend.  But that’s what it was.  He took me in, and honest to God, he made me the man I am today, for good or for bad.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without his help.  He even got me to go to college, for Christ’s sake.  Me.  The point is I can’t repay him by hooking up with his only granddaughter.  The fact is I’ll never be good enough for you.  You can have any man you want.  You don’t want to settle for me, Callie.  I’m not in your league.  Never have been, never will be.”