Miss Julia Stirs Up Trouble: A Novel (32 page)

Watch the January white sales. Neiman Marcus calls them “pink sales,” so don’t get confused. If you’ll buy one sheet set every January or so, you’ll always have decent linens and save yourself some money, too.

Keep several cans of tuna in your pantry, and you will always have a meal in the making—tuna salad, tuna sandwiches, creamed tuna, or tuna casserole. If Mr. Pickens doesn’t like tuna, don’t tell him what it is.

You should keep a shelf or drawer somewhere just for gifts to have on hand for somebody’s birthday that sneaks up on you or a last-minute hostess gift or something like that. Keep wrapping paper, Scotch tape, and so forth with them, so you’re always prepared. Get in the habit of watching for sales so you can buy items for your gift drawer ahead of time. I always start my Christmas shopping early—at least by the end of summer, when there are a lot of sales.

Get your children on a schedule and keep them on it, especially at bedtime. Don’t invite guests for an evening affair until your children know how to behave. There is nothing worse than to be invited to a home where the parents allow their children to run through the house, screaming like wild Indians so you can’t hear yourself think.

Keep a box of Arm & Hammer baking soda near your stove. If you ever have a grease fire, throw some on it and it will put out the fire. Throw the baking soda, not the box.

An open box of baking soda (not baking powder) should be kept in your refrigerator to take care of any odors.

Keep extra candles and batteries of all sizes on hand and in a special place so you can find them in case of a power failure.

Change the batteries in your smoke alarm and your carbon monoxide alarm when Daylight Savings Time switches back to regular time. That’ll be sometime in October, I think.

Which reminds me. Buy Halloween trick-or-treat candy a little at a time—every time you go to the grocery store for a few weeks beforehand. And, if I were you, I wouldn’t go overboard in decorating the front of the house for Halloween. It just encourages children to ring your doorbell.

Whenever you make a casserole or something like spaghetti sauce, double the recipe and put half in the freezer. There will be times you won’t want to cook, so it’s nice to have something already made. Of course, you will have James cooking for you, so tell him to keep the freezer stocked. He might not always be there.

Never go to the grocery store hungry—you’ll buy too much. On the other hand, if you go right after you’ve eaten, you won’t buy enough and you’ll be going back several times a week. The best thing to do is make a list of what you need and stick to it.

I know Julia has told you this, but it’s worth repeating. Always have two CCC suits—one for summer and one for winter—cleaned and ready to wear with all their accessories. A CCC suit is one that is appropriate for Church, Country Club, and Cemetery, so that you’re prepared for any church service, dinner party, or funeral. Black is the best color for meeting the requirements of each of the Cs—with, of course, suitable changes of shoes, jewelry, and tops for the occasion or the season. Décolletage is hardly appropriate for Sunday morning, much less for a funeral at any time.