misunderstoodebook (30 page)

“It’s Zoann, you bastard,” she snarled, the fight whooshing from her body when she saw the condition of Val. Blackened eyes. Swollen lips. Bandages wrapped around his ribs. More bandages covered the wound he’d gotten a few weeks ago from Christopher’s father.

Cock glistening with…with
her…Bob Sue.

She tightened her lips. “What happened to you?”

His turquoise eyes widened in surprise then narrowed and he leaned back, wincing when he attempted to put his arms behind his head. Determined to stand her ground, Zoann refused to rush to his side to look after him. He’d been so grievously wounded two weeks ago. She’d left Christopher’s and Megan’s wedding to go on duty and discovered why Val had disappeared from the wedding ceremony. Only to discover the shooting. None of them knew the tears she’d shed, the prayers she’d said.

The admission she still loved him.

Bikers were evil, vile creatures, and she understood why Granddaddy despised them. If he’d ever found out what that man did to her. She’d run, looking for Christopher and found Big Joe instead. He’d told her Christopher didn’t have time for her.

When she’d needed him most. It had been weeks before she saw him and she’d despised him. Her brother had always been so perceptive. She thought he would’ve known how brutally she’d been raped. Big Joe…what could she say about
him
?

Except he’d helped her to hate Christopher a little more. And she hated him more when their mother had died. Then Val had gotten shot and she’d gone into hysterics and had to be sedated. Because seeing Val, on that gurney hooked up to monitors and IVs, she’d seen them
all
. Her mother. Her grandfather. Her cousin. Val.

And her brother…her Christopher.

“Sorry couldn’t visit Ryan,” Matthew drawled, snapping her back to reality. He gestured to himself. “As you can see, I’m a little indisposed.”

After only
three days
out of the hospital, he was already back to being a biker. He couldn’t even pretend curiosity behind her visit. He just rumbled a blasé explanation and ignored Zoann’s question. Any idiot could see he’d been hurt, although not enough to keep from having his dick sucked.

Nausea twisted through her, the memories of her grandfather’s friend—a biker—catching her when she’d gone to cook dinner. No one else had been home. He’d forced all kinds of atrocities on her and she’d abhorred the thought of putting her mouth anywhere near a man’s penis.

She looked at her toes, then focused on the posters on his ugly brick walls. Posters of naked girls hung everywhere. “Cover yourself, Matthew,” she demanded.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, Puff.”

He
didn’t
just call her Puff, did he? And, even worse, she wasn’t blushing…was she?

She reminded herself she hated him and he hated her and they hated each other. So she shouldn’t blush and he shouldn’t have such a sexy tone with her and his cock shouldn’t be stiffening and—

“Pig,” she flared, charging forward, intending to slap him senseless but he grabbed her wrists, heat and power in his hands. “That girl…Bob Sue…or whatever her name is,” she added when he smirked at her and flashed his dimples. “
Whoever
…just sucked your dick and fucked you and you’re getting an erection for
me
?”

A thoughtful gleam entered his eyes and she braced herself for insults and mockery. It was her or him, so she stayed a foot ahead and kept a wall between herself and everyone else.

“I jerk off to memories of you,” he said with the unerring honesty she both detested and appreciated. He released his hold on her and she massaged her wrists. Not because he’d hurt her but because his touch branded her. “You not giving me pussy any more, Zoann. I gotta get it from somewhere.”

She glared at him and sniffed, not wanting to admit she was trying to detect the scent of sex. “Even when I was giving you pussy, it didn’t stop you from getting it from
somewhere else
.”

He scowled at her. “A man get tired of your judgmental bullshit. I told you I wasn’t leaving my club and you wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I just needed a girl to enjoy my company for a little while. Didn’t think you’d give a shit.” He drew in a breath and closed his eyes, his lashes sweeping low. “You hated sex, Zoann,” he whispered and pulled her into the crook of his arms, kissing the top of her head.

“I liked sex with you,” she said quietly.

Laughter rumbled from him and Zoann melted against him. “You threatened to cut my dick off if I ever asked you to suck it again.”

There was a reason for that, though. A reason no biker would ever understand. “To be fair, I don’t like your mouth on me, either.”

“That’s an even worse crime. The couple times you let me eat your pussy was heaven.”

She jumped out of his arms, scalded by his words. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. You’re a biker. My brother’s a biker. My cousin’s a biker. And you’re all amoral assholes. I got drunk and slept with you. That was the biggest mistake of my life. No, our
affair
was the biggest mistake of my life. Two months of hell,” she spat. Hell because he was the first man she believed she could depend on since her grandfather’s death. But he hadn’t understood, always pushing to get inside of her, making her ashamed of how much she desired him. She’d have sex with him and throw up the moment he left, unable to stop her humiliating memories.

She’d thought about telling him, then realized she was out of her mind. Matthew would
never
understand. He was in the same league with Christopher, Johnnie and Big Joe.

He was staring at her, his eyes soft with understanding and Zoann swallowed, crawling off the bed and stepping back. Remembering that girl who’d been in his room and the reason why. Her relationship with Val had been doomed way before they’d ever crossed paths. “You’re nothing to me.”

The cold dislike she brought out in everyone dropped into Val’s features and she died a little inside.

“Get out,” he told her and she shivered at the lethal softness in his tone.

His face was so battered and bruised, she barely saw his teardrop tat beneath his left eye.

Instead of leaving, she reached out and touched his discolored, swollen cheek. “What happened to you?” she whispered, her body betraying her as usual where Val was concerned. She wanted him so badly. She hadn’t been with a man since the last time she and Val had made love…er, fucked. No, made love. That was the night he’d given her their son and she refused to debase his conception in such a way.

“Does it matter, Puff?” he asked.

The name brought all sorts of memories rushing back to her.

He tried to smile but grimaced instead. “You still have your powder puff, babe?” he asked, nodding toward her crotch.

The soared her pulse and heated her blood. The tips of her nipples hardened and she groaned. He had the ability to make enough of the bad memories go away that she opened her legs to him. He caught her waist and scooted over, so he could pull her next to him.

“Well?” he pressed. “Do you? If you don’t fucking answer me, I’m gonna have to feel your pussy myself to see if it’s still covered with all that hair.”

“I told you I didn’t keep down there that way,” she complained, her mind churning memories—both good and bad. “I’d just been really busy at the hospital so I hadn’t had a chance to get rid of all that hair.”

And that was the truth, although he’d never believed her.

“Ummhmm. So why the fuck you kept all that pussy hair once I started fucking you?”

Because you liked it
. “Let me up,” she demanded when the thought popped into her head. He did and she forced herself to a sitting position, shoving aside the memory of when he’d asked her to keep her pussy like that and then had given her the nickname of
Puff
because she had the best powder puff of pussy hair in the entire world. “I have to go. You’re nothing but a fucking pig. A liar and a cheat and a womanizer and…and…and a killer.”

He shoved her so hard she landed on the floor on her ass.

“FUCK!” he snarled, glaring at her. “I didn’t mean to do that, Puff,” he croaked with genuine remorse.

Bewilderment sagged her shoulders.

“I’m gonna try to do better. Okay?”

Instead of responding, she just stared at him, hurting. Because she cared. She
cared
about each injury Val got. Each girl he slept with. Each run he went on. She cared. And she’d never stop caring. But he was incapable of real feelings. “You’re not welcomed to see Ryan ever again. I’m going to find a decent man to raise him. He deserves better than a father who’ll fuck any girl who opens her pussy to him.”

Val wasn’t a patient type of man, and Zoann knew that. She knew, too, using Ryan hurt him the worst and he always struck back.

“Bob Sue didn’t open her pussy,” he growled. “She opened her fucking mouth.”

She forced away tears at the cold, cruel words.

“As to you stopping me from seeing my son, think the fuck again. Bad enough you don’t let me see him as much as I could. You on duty at that fucking hospital a lot, bitch, but you told Ophelia you wouldn’t let her watch him if she didn’t consult with you first. Fuck you. That’s my kid. My cum made him. And if you want to get some poor fuck fucked up go ahead.”

“You’re disgusting!” she screeched, jumping to her feet.

“If you say so, Zoann. But if I hadn’t been fucking jumped by a bunch of pussies, I’d show you how fucking disgusting you think I am. If I wasn’t in so much fucking pain, you’d open your pussy to me with just a flick of my finger.”

“You wish. There’s no dick in the world good enough to make me lose my dignity and just drop my panties without consequences.”

His laugh was evil and Zoann flinched even before he spoke. “You did and it’s done and Ryan is the proof.”

The door suddenly burst open and Zoann jumped. She expected to see Bob Sue or some other girl.

“Oh, fuck me,” a very familiar growl came because she’d just heard it over the telephone. “What the fuck you doing here, Zoann?” Mortician rumbled.

She drew herself up and willed all her different emotions away. These men steamrolled weakness. “I came because Val skipped out on seeing Ryan.”

Mortician scratched his chin, the stubble on his square jaw making him look like the criminal he was. “Ain’t like the motherfucker can ride. You notice how fucked up he is?”

She glared at him. “Very funny,” she spat when Val snickered and then moaned in pain.
Dumb ass
. “You’re all just like Christopher. Despicable.”
   
Her earliest memories of her big brother was of a beautiful boy whom their grandfather despised. Zoann had adored Christopher, couldn’t wait to get old enough to follow behind him.

She rubbed her hand. It still hurt from the way their grandfather had injured it when she’d asked him to be nice to her brother. Most of all her pride hurt because he’d called her all kinds of names. The same names he’d always called Christopher and Zoann knew she never wanted to hear him disparage her or hurt her ever again.

Silence surrounded them. Val and Mortician didn’t want her around them anymore. She’d overstayed her welcome.

“If you through bitching at your baby daddy, would you mind leaving?”

“Don’t come in here telling Zoann what to do,” Val growled. “If I let her stay, you shut the fuck up about it.”

Mortician sighed. “You pussy-whipped motherfuckers working on my last fucking nerve.”

“You halfway to being pussy-whipped yourself, assfuck. But, wait. You didn’t get in the pussy yet, so that means you just fucking whipped.”

“Go suck dick,” Mortician bit out, not looking back as he stalked through the door.

“That, Puff, is how to put motherfuckers in their places. I’m damn near pocketing 5Gs.” Val winked at her, his amusement pulling a smile from her.

She felt awkward, so without another word, she bowed her head and hurried out of Val’s room, not bothering to make eye contact with anyone, just needing to get away from the man who’d once meant so much to her.

And who now viewed her as just a mean, hateful bitch. When he didn’t realize there was so much more to it than that.

Johnnie halted his Navigator five feet from the clubhouse doors. He’d assembled an emergency meeting and, now, brothers were arriving. The only man he hadn’t been able to contact was K-P, although he should’ve since he was supposed to be taking care of Val. Of course, Dinah probably finagled him away. He was going to have to pull him aside and tell him he needed to pull back from Dinah because Johnnie had a feeling
she
was the reason he wouldn’t answer.

He got that Dinah was K-P’s woman, but not even Christopher allowed Megs to interfere in Official Club Business and Megan was his entire world.

Tapping his key on the steering wheel, he got out and slammed the door shut. He indicated to a Probate to watch over the car with a nod, then started forward. The clubhouse door opened and Johnnie started when he saw Zoann rushing out, almost running right into him.

She blinked and stepped back. “Johnnie?” Already derision was replacing the unguarded vulnerability she’d had a moment ago.

“How’s Val?”