Molon Labe! (46 page)

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Authors: Boston T. Party,Kenneth W. Royce

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The GOP smear tactic backfires. The public sees Preston as a victim of duplicity, just like Istvan. His approval rating shoots up by 15 points.

Michael Dowling nearly fires Ted Swanson over it, but the election is too close to find another campaign manager.

Wyoming General Election

Tuesday, 4 November 2014
I miss civilization — and I want it back.
— Marylynne Robinson

Preston's second tour was a four day, nonstop, madcap, rolling party with lots of horn-honking and banner waving. The weather was glorious; rare fall days of brilliant cornflower-blue skies.

The main RV, the
Prestonian
, towed a 26' flatbed trailer made up like a parade float. The thing was jumping with music and singing and dancing, and Preston gave impromptu speeches from a little bandstand. Locals hitched rides for several blocks or a couple of miles, while others joined the caravan in their cars. Just before getting onto a highway the caravan stopped so all the people on the flatbed trailer could pile in the RVs, and then the convoy would take off. The music/dance trailer was Juliette's idea. She wished it to be as rowdy as the "Twist and Shout" parade scene in
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
.

She wasn't disappointed.

At times the tour had over thirty vehicles in tow going down the road. Two carloads of Campus Libertarians from Laramie actually followed the entire way. Even the media got caught up in the thing, and began a running commentary of the tour. Folks learned over the radio and TV when the caravan would be passing through their town and made a point of getting a glimpse of it. When the trail of RVs got to Jackson at midnight on Sunday, hundreds of people were waiting for them at Town Square, cheering.

Live Internet TV carried it all.

Monday and Tuesday they went eastward on I-80 to cover the lower portion of Wyoming, catching the major populations of Evanston, Green River, Rock Springs, Rawlins, Laramie, and Cheyenne. The tour had gained huge attention by then, totally stealing the limelight from the other campaigns. Politics were rarely
fun
and the Prestons were determined to wrap up their bid for the governor's mansion on a lighthearted note.

Cheyenne, Wyoming

8:09PM

Michael Dowling Republican Party campaign HQ

"Given that none of the candidates are up against an incumbent, this will probably be a very close race with Preston, sir," Ted Swanson says. "Within 3%, I'd say."

Dowling's jaw is set and angry. "Yeah, thanks to that damned Laissez-Faire Party! If they spoil this election and throw it to Landers, Republicans will never forgive them."

"Sir, I urged you to coopt some of the LFP's platform to luff Preston's sails, but you wouldn't have it. The GOP is getting left behind in this recent surge of libertarianism."

"Ted, I will not placate anarchy! If that's what the Wyoming people want, then I will not be the one to ruin this state!"

Cheyenne, Wyoming

8:12PM

James Preston Laissez-Faire Party campaign HQ

"Dad, what are the numbers? Are we winning?" asks James, Jr.

"The polls just closed a little over an hour ago, son. Dowling and I are still neck and neck, but there's a lot of vote counting left to do. We won't know for two or three hours. Hang tight, kiddo."

Dowling Republican Party campaign HQ

8:58PM

"Where the hell is Mallory? Where are the state troopers?" demands Dowling. Captain David Mallory, head of the capitol security detail, is designated to drive the new governor-elect.

"I don't know," replies Swanson, "but I'll find out." After a short cell phone call, he says, "Mallory's over at Preston's. The troopers too. They've been there for twenty minutes and don't seem to be leaving."

"Shit!" exclaims Dowling. "What do the cops know that we don't?

" Although only 30% of the precincts have reported in, Preston has taken the lead over Dowling by two points. The Democrat Landers is five points behind Dowling.

Preston Laissez-Faire Party campaign HQ

9:32PM

Over half of the precincts have reported in. Preston is leading the pack at 39%, Dowling at 35%, and Landers at 26% — and his gain is still increasing. Juliette looks at her husband and says, "Honey, I think we're going to win!"

Preston nods with a wary grin. "You've always had a nose for things. You just may be right."

The buzz around the HQ has been growing for the past half hour. Like a charge of static electricity, the mounting excitement is thick in the air.

Landers Democratic Party campaign HQ

9:35PM

Evan Landers had little expectation of winning, and he now has no chance of beating Preston or even Dowling. He feels almost relieved. He would have had to battle a Republican legislature, like Clinton in 1995. That would've been more work than Landers really wanted.

Dowling Republican Party campaign HQ 11:08PM

11:08PM

Dowling hangs up the phone with Governor-elect James Preston, and fumes, "Well, Ted, you didn't quite call this thing, did you?
Six
points! Not 'within 3%' but
six
points! In a three-way race that's nearly a mandate! Thanks a lot, Ted! And now, for my goddamned concession speech!"

Dowling leaves the back office for the large conference room.

"Friends and supporters! I thank you for your hard work and sacrifice these past months. We tried our best, but Wyoming has decided against us.
(groaning and mild wailing)
Yes, it's true. I've just seen the election data. Of the 91% of precincts having tallied their ballots, James Preston has received 41% of the popular vote. Just moments ago I spoke with him to concede the election and
(more wailing)
, and to congratulate him for not only his victory, but also for his honorably-run campaign. As hard as we worked, we simply didn't have the numbers. While James Preston and I have significant differences of political opinion, I
do
believe that he is a good man who will assemble a competent administration. The election is over and decided, so let us all work together in these difficult times. Good night, and thank you all again for your hard work and support."

As his supporters mill about in clumps of commiseration, Dowling smoothly makes his way through them, pausing here and there to share a personal word of thanks. There is nothing more doleful than a campaign HQ on the night of their losing, and Landers has no desire to wallow in the mood.

Wyomingans made a startlingly bold choice with Preston and his Laissez-Faire Party's agenda. A perilous gamble, if anyone asked Dowling.
It's a goddamned four year blind date!
They've
unmade
their bed; now let them lie in it!
muses the defeated Republican candidate as he anticipated the night's drunken stupor awaiting him. He walks past his campaign manager without a word and leaves the building.

Stung and disgusted, Ted Swanson just shakes his head.

The final vote was 41% Preston, 35% Dowling, and 24% Landers. James Wayne Preston had beat Dowling by exactly 17,750 votes of the 295,833 cast. The irony is that 17,750 is ten times 1,775 — the year of Concord and Lexington which sparked the Revolution. Much talk is made about the "eerie coincidence."

A columnist would remind Wyoming of another: the deaths of Thomas Jefferson and John Adams within hours of each other on 4 July 1826 — on the Declaration of Independence 50th Anniversary.

A man may conduct himself well in both adversity and good fortune, but if you want to test his character, give him power.
— Abraham Lincoln

Cheyenne, Wyoming

11:16 PM

Laissez-Faire Party Headquarters

Governor-Elect James Wayne Preston and his stunning wife Juliette make their way hand-in-hand to the speaker's platform amidst deafening applause. Wyomingans are rejoicing this election night for the Prestons.

Seeing Juliette to her chair, Preston then softly waves the audience to a hush. Without notes, he begins in a clear, baritone voice.

"Good evening! I am honored that you have today chosen me as your new Governor, and I thank you for your trust in me. I will not let you down. Having never before been a politician, forgive me if that promise seems a bit shopworn, but,
(interrupted by laughter)
but, I just don't
know
any better.
(more laughter)

"Many of you are quite new to Wyoming, however, the simple and rugged values of the Western Frontier were written on your hearts long before your move here. You escaped the less-free states in our American Union and got here as soon as you could!
(laughter)
I thank you for your support, and welcome you as productive and respectable Citizens.

"To those of you longer acquainted with our state's quality of life, I thank you for your many years of friendship. It was
you
who urged me to run for office, and here I am, so you've nobody to blame but yourselves.
(laughter)
First generation or fifth, we are
all
Wyomingites — and I shoulder our modern dilemmas with each of you.

"I don't have to tell you that the American West is a precious place, populated with the 'salt of the earth.' Here, life is not complicated with lawyerly evasions and bureaucratic nonsense. Here, a man's word is his bond. Here, our women and children are safe in their homes and on their streets. Here, we respect hard work and business accomplishment. We practice personal charity. Here, we raise our children by the
family's
values — not by the State's dictates.
(strong applause)
Here, we love and cherish our beautiful land and do not need Washington, D.C's 'help' on environmental issues. We know how to keep our water clean and our soil healthy.
We
live here!
(strong applause)

"If the Potomac Parasites continue to try to run our lives, they may find out that we can do without them . . .
entirely!"
(even stronger applause)

"Here, in the American West, we believe in the sacred right of self-defense. Adults are presumed responsible enough to own and carry weapons until found otherwise by a jury of their peers.
(great applause)
We know that arms are the badge of free people, and that disarmament is the shame of
slaves. I will see to it that your Wyoming government does everything it can to protect and support your right to keep and bear arms. Consequently, my friend Representative Margaret Haskins from Laramie will introduce a constitutional amendment protecting your right to own and carry guns without any possible infringement from any Wyoming official.
(wild applause)

"Thank you. Thank you for that. By the way, my father-in-law gave me a new .338 Win Mag for elk season, and if any of you have a pet handload for it, please call my office.
(laughter and applause)

"Here in Wyoming, we don't care where you came from. Nor do we care about your skin or your religion. Here in Wyoming, we have only these three questions: 'Will you keep your word, even to your own hurt?'
(The Governor waits several seconds for an answer to his non-rhetorical question)
I asked you, 'Will you keep your word, even to your own hurt?'
(Yes!)
'Will you respect your neighbor's property and stay out of his way?'
(Yes!)
And finally, 'Will you pull your own weight?'
(Yes!)

"A long time ago, America would have agreed with you, but no more.
Beginning tonight, that America will live again — in
Wyoming!
"

Springing to their feet as one man, the crowd shakes the auditorium with a happy roar lasting minutes, waving the three-fingered "W-for-Wyoming" salute. Preston leisurely makes his way through the cheering throng, stopping often to shake hands and briefly converse with individuals.

"We're behind you, Gov!" a woman exclaims.

A leathery old rancher gets Preston's attention to recommend his favorite .338WM load of a 225 grain Barnes X bullet atop 71 grains of Viht N160, with Winchester case and primer.

"It's powerful and real accurate, Governor."

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