Moments in Time (40 page)

My phone buzzed with the Sean text sound. I leaned over the bed and rummaged through my pants until I found it. Two messages:

Tell Mrs. D’Amico her friend is fucking amazing and let her know how grateful I am. I didn’t even understand half of what he said in that legal document, but it shook Laura’s needle-dick attorney up so much, he advised her to settle out of court. I get to keep the kids, Collie, thanks to you.

I swallowed hard, noticing a huge lump had formed in my throat, then clicked to the next message.

Hope you can come home soon. The kids and I miss you. Let me know how you’re doing, okay? Love you, bro.

Again with the tears. My face kept springing leaks like a faulty garden hose. I swiped at my eyes, hoping Tanner hadn’t noticed, but he had. He swept a thumb under each eye. “Good tears or bad?”

“Good. Really good. Only how the hell did your mother set my brother up with a lawyer?”

Tanner shrugged. “She knows a lot of rich and famous people. You don’t work Broadway for twenty-five years and not meet the stars. She asked around, got a name, and hired him.”

“Sean can’t afford that.”

“She knows. She can.”

“Why? Why is she doing this?”

“Because his wife is wrong, for one thing, but mostly because it was making you miserable and keeping you from me. She’s annoying at times, but she’s a good mom.”

“She’s the best mom ever. I can’t let her pay for all this, though.”

“Yeah, you can. Collin, she wants to do this for you, for your family. You’re going to have to learn to accept that there are some people in your life who sincerely want you to be happy.”

“You know what would make me happy?”

“What?”

“If we could go sit on the couch and eat some of that Chinese food. I’m starving.”

“Sounds perfect to me. Just remember, when we read our fortunes, we’re gonna make them all come true—
in bed.
”

“God, I love you.”

Tanner’s lopsided grin made my heart do a giddy jig. “I love you too. And no one, anywhere, will ever convince me that’s wrong. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We can do this, together. I know we can.”

In that moment everything became clear—Tanner was my past, my present, my future. “We
can
. We
will
. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t think I could survive it a second time.”

“Then don’t do it.”

“Never again.”

That was one promise I knew I could keep.

Six months later

T
HE COOLEST thing about living over the pizza place—other than me and Tanner having an apartment all to ourselves, which was fucking amazing—was that anytime we wanted takeout, all we had to do was trot downstairs. That was particularly helpful when we were having company, which had been happening on a regular basis. I’d never been big on socializing, but I realized that was because I’d always had something to hide. Now that I didn’t, and the people closest to me all knew the truth, I wanted to see them as often as possible.

I checked the clock over the stove. Five minutes and the brownies would be done. That was perfect, because it meant they’d be cool by the time Sean and the kids arrived and started poking their fingers into them. Wendy was due any minute too. Supposedly we were finally going to get to meet her new boyfriend. I didn’t know if they were serious enough that she wanted to start introducing him to her friends or if she’d just gotten sick of Tanner referring to the guy as a figment of her imagination. Either way she looked happy, and that’s great to see.

The bedroom door squeaked as it opened, and Tanner stepped into the living room, tugging on a T-shirt. I watched until every last inch of his fucktastic stomach disappeared beneath the black fabric, then my gaze drifted up to his lopsided grin. We’d been together a whole year, and that smile still made my heart do backflips.

Tanner breathed in deep, letting his eyes drift shut, then sighing. “It smells amazing in here.”

I closed the distance between us, needing to touch him. He tugged me up against him, and I willingly gave up the view of him to close my eyes and focus on the sensation of his lips on mine. Warm and solid. Sexy as hell. I pressed closer, feeling every inch of him align with me. We’d had sex twice already today, and I still wanted more. His hair was damp from his shower, and I breathed in the coconut lime, wondering if we had time to sneak off for a few minutes.

The oven timer answered with its shrill beep. Tanner groaned.

I chuckled. “Brownie interruptus.”

“It’s a good thing I love those damned brownies so much.”

Before I could even turn off the timer, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, followed by Sean holding the baby, telling the girls to knock and not just barge in. It didn’t matter. Tanner opened the door before they had a chance and scooped Megan and Emma into a big hug.

“We made you a cake,” Megan said, beaming at Tanner.

“For yours and Uncle Collin’s abi-nursery!” Emma said.

Megan rolled her eyes. “Anniversary.”

I set the hot pan of brownies on the stove, then shoved some bags of chips out of the way so Sean could set down the bakery box he was carrying.

He leaned closer to me, keeping his voice low. “Don’t worry, the cake is from Carmine’s. I just let the kids decorate.”

I nodded, then turned toward the girls, who were bouncing on their toes with excitement. “You guys made this for us? Can we look at it now?”

They yelled “Yes!” and Tanner came over to take a peek as I lifted the lid: “Collin + Tanner” written in squiggly purple icing with tons of blue icing hearts surrounding it and even more blue heart-shaped sprinkles.

“We made blue hearts because you’re boys,” Megan said, looking so serious, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“This is the coolest cake ever. Thank you.”

“You guys are awesome.” Tanner winked, which set off fresh rounds of giggles.

“You want to help get ready for the party? I need someone to put all these chips into the big bowls on the table.”

“We will! We will!” They grabbed the bags and scampered up onto the kitchen chairs to start filling the bowls.

“Thanks, man,” I said, catching Sean’s eyes.

He smiled. “Happy anniversary.”

The lump in my throat was threatening to take up permanent residence if I didn’t stop with all the sentimental shit. I gave a cough and grabbed my wallet off the counter. “I’m gonna run down and get the pizza and subs. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Need help?” Tanner asked.

“Nah, just make sure my brother doesn’t eat all the chips before I get back.”

I ran into Wendy in the stairwell on the way down to Gino’s. Her boyfriend, Nate, looked nothing like I’d expected. She usually went for dark-haired guys like Tanner and Dex, but Nate was even blonder than me. I didn’t really care what he looked like. What mattered was how he looked at Wendy, which was like someone who was totally fucking in love.

“Go on up, the door’s open,” I said after introductions had been made.

“See you up there.” She pointed to the top of the stairs, giving Nate a little shove as she followed behind him, then turned to mouth “Isn’t he hot?”

I chuckled and mouthed back “Very.”

Wendy smiled so broadly, it made my jaw hurt.

Gino had our order ready to go. Five pizzas—two plain, two Gino’s specials, one veggie—and a bunch of Italian subs on a party platter.

I tried to pay, but he pushed my hand away.

“It’s on the house, kid. Go enjoy your party.”

“I can’t take all this for free.”

“If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll give you shitty hours for the next two weeks.”

I groaned. “Can’t I just pay?”

“I’m kidding. Get outta here.”

As I backed out of the door, balancing the tray atop the boxes, I heard a familiar voice.

“I see you’ve got Tanner’s order. What are the rest of us supposed to eat?”

Bryan stood grinning and shaking his head as he held the door so I could step onto the street.

“You made it.”

“Yep, came straight from the New Hampshire gig. I had the band drop me off. I’ll just take a train to the city later.”

He looked tired but still hot as hell in that effortless, shaggy-haired, “I’m a musician so it’s cool that I always look like I just rolled out of bed” kind of way. “It’s great to see you. I didn’t tell Tanner or Wendy you were coming. They’ll flip.”

“Cool. I haven’t seen anyone since the summer. You want help carrying that stuff?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. Can you just get the door? Our place is right up—” My mind stumbled over the rest of the thought as I noticed someone studying the Batmobile across the street.

Not just someone
. My heart picked up speed. I’d know that blond hair anywhere—it was exactly like mine. “On second thought, can you take this? Our door’s at the top of the stairs.”

“Sure thing.”

I handed everything to him.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I think I did.” His eyebrow rose. I tried a laugh. “It’s okay, there’s just someone I need to say hi to. I’ll be up in a sec.”

Bryan shrugged and headed up the stairs.

I made my way across the street, half expecting that when I got closer, I’d realize I was mistaken and it was some other tall blond dude checking out my car. As I approached he turned, eyes meeting mine.

No mistake.

“Hey, bro,” Quinn said. “You’re keeping her in good condition.”

I tried not to gape at him.
You haven’t said a word to me in six months, and now you want to talk about my car?
“Always have.”

He smoothed his hand over the hood, nodding. “Yeah, I guess you have.”

Silence hung in the air. “Look, uh, I’ve got company, so if you came to deliver another lecture, now’s really not the time.”

Quinn flinched, which surprised me and made me feel a little bad.
But, shit, what am I supposed to think with the way he’s acted?

He raked a hand through his hair, then met my eyes. “No lectures, I promise. And I know about the party.”

“You do?”

“Sean told me.”

And he came anyway. Great.
All I needed was a scene to ruin this day. My stomach did the conga as I tried to figure out how to end this as quickly and painlessly as possible. “Quinn, I’m not in the mood—”

He raised a hand. “I came to apologize.”

It’s a good thing Bryan had taken the pizza boxes, because if I’d still been holding them, they’d have wound up all over the street.

Quinn kept talking. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted, toward you and toward Sean, and I’m sorry I left both of you to deal with Mom by yourselves. I was a dick.”

I’d never heard him talk like that. But I couldn’t really argue. “Okay.”

He dragged a foot along the asphalt, looking down at his shoe. “I thought I was doing the right thing, you know? Following the laws of the church. I figured if I could get you to see that, both of you, then everything would get fixed for all of us. You. Sean. Mom. But it doesn’t work that way, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I should have been a better brother.”

This time when he looked up, his blue eyes had clouded gray with a mist of tears.
Jesus
. I hadn’t seen Quinn cry since Dad’s funeral. “It’s okay. I get it. You have higher priorities. You’re a priest.”

“Almost a priest.”

“Close enough.”

“Maybe,” he said. “But that’s no excuse. And, well, I’m here to tell you I’d like to give us a fresh start. If you want.”

“You realize I’m still in love with Tanner, right? That’s not changing.” It felt amazing to say those words, out loud, in the middle of the street, with no fear.

“I know. And according to Sean, you’ve never been happier. Is that true?”

“Totally.”

“Then I’m happy for you.”

It was my turn to have cloudy eyes. I blinked rapidly to keep in control. “Thanks.”

“You think maybe I can meet him?”

“You want to come to our anniversary party? There are other gay guys there. You’re not going to start sprinkling holy water on anyone or anything, are you?”

Quinn gave a deep laugh. I’d missed that sound. “I think I can control myself. Besides, I left my holy water in my other pants.”

For the first time, I noticed he wasn’t dressed any way priestly today, just jeans and a T-shirt. “And you actually want to come?”

“I’ve missed you, Collie.”

Sean still called me that, but Quinn hadn’t said it since we were kids. My hesitation melted. “I’ve missed you too. Come on.”

Quinn clapped his hand on my shoulder and followed me across the street, then up the stairs to our apartment. Even more people had shown up while I’d been out, and the place was buzzing with laugher and conversation.

Tanner caught my eye as soon as I walked in the door. He headed straight toward me, glancing between me and Quinn with a curious look on his face. I grabbed his hand and tugged him closer, leaning in for a quick kiss. If Quinn wanted to do this, he needed to show me he was serious.

When I pulled back from Tanner, I studied Quinn’s face, looking for any shred of disapproval, ready to ask him to leave. All I saw was a smile directed at Tanner. He held out his hand. “You must be Tanner. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Collin’s brother Quinn.”

Tanner did his best to hide his reaction, but I could tell he was surprised. He shook Quinn’s hand. “Welcome.”

“Happy anniversary.”

Tanner’s eyes widened, but he smiled. “Thanks. Come on in. Can I get you a drink?”

“That would be great.”

Tanner whispered in my ear. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

He held my eyes, studying them, then leaned in and gave me another kiss. This one lasted longer, sweet and steady, just what I needed. As he walked away, I looked around our apartment. My brothers, my friends, my boyfriend—almost everyone I cared about—all in one place, together, happy, celebrating that Tanner and I had made it. Celebrating our love.