Monitored (The White Coat Series Book 3) (15 page)

A part of me was ok with that though. It was another reason why I was so drawn to Alexander. He made me feel like I didn’t have to put on a front for him. We just genuinely clicked on a deep level, and so I didn’t feel pressure to look like I was going to prom.

I did make sure my butt looked good in the shorts though.

****

“Sky,” Alexander said as he opened the door to his apartment, hugging me for the first time in ages. I felt like I melted right into his strong shape, wrapping my arms around his muscular waist. I didn’t realize how much I missed his smell, the feel of his stubble in my hand, the way his muscles danced under my touch.

“Come, let’s go inside.” He led me into his place just as I was beginning to feel like I was going to burst out into tears. I was able to contain myself though and decided to just sit down on the floor, cross-legged with my back against the couch.

“You’ve been worrying me.” Alexander moved a guitar that was resting on the loveseat and sat down, his eyes examining me again.

“I know.” My lower lip trembled. “I’m ok though. Now, I am.”

“Good. I need you to be ok. Ok?”

“Ok.” I smiled a bit, and then I told him everything. I told him about Blake and the baby and my kidnapping and the miscarriage. It all came flooding out in a torrent of emotion laced words. I was able to keep my composure for pretty much all of it, only choking back a sob towards the end.

“Jesus, Sky.” He got off of the loveseat and came to sit next to me, putting a shoulder over me and pulling me in. I felt his lips press on the top of my head, his hand squeezing my arm.

We stayed like that for a bit. The silence reassured the both of us.

We reassured the both of us.

“You’re a strong girl, Sky.” He kissed my head again. “One of the strongest.”

A lone lock of hair fell across my eye. “I don’t know about that.”
 

“You’ll realize it.” I nodded into his shoulder, resting on his muscular bicep.

“You will. And if not, I’ll help you realize it, Sky. You’re the girl that I can imagine singing about for the rest of my life.”

I looked up at him, his face clearly telling me he meant every word he said.
 

“Wow, I’m a little speechless,” was all I could say, my lack of flirting ability clearer than the light of day. He had just given me such a huge compliment, and I couldn’t counter with something cuter than that?

I decided to try and redeem myself. “I would study you for the rest of my life.” I wasn’t sure if it made the same point, but I stuck to my guns anyway.

“You don’t think you’d get bored?”

“Not if it was Anatomy that I had to study.” He laughed.

Thankfully.

“Well good thing you’re a bookworm then,” he said into the top of my head.
 

“How do you know I’m a bookworm? I could be illiterate.”

“Just have a feeling. I like that though.” His finger twisted around a strand of my hair. “I think it’s sexy.”

I felt myself blush, even though I wasn’t ready to give myself to Alexander like that again. Not yet. Even though my passion was starting to rise, I felt as though I still needed some more time.

It looked like Alexander understood this, his actions feeling a bit more reserved and thought out with less of the lust that had consumed us weeks before.

It was still there, I just had to keep it in under control for now.

“How about you? Have you been up to anything fun?” I sat up a little, letting Alexander’s hand fall to his side now. I was becoming hotter and hotter by the second, so the less temptation, the better.

“Just the usual, Bla
--
,” I winced at the name, “ah sorry, Sky.” I shook it off and signaled for him to keep going. It was something that I needed to come to terms with. I had also decided that it was only right that I told that bastard what had happened.

“Well yeah, I’ve just been getting worked like a dog. I’ve had to give up three gigs already.”

“What?!” I slapped my hand down onto the couch cushion. “No, you do not need to be sacrificing your dream for that asshole.” I took a breath and tried to center myself. “Sorry, excuse my French, but it’s true. Your music takes people places. It needs to be heard. Fuck Blake and his meetings with mistresses.”

I was heated. He had already put me through so much and now he was putting Alexander through the ringer. I refused to let that happen.

It was like he was targeting everyone around me, trying to keep me quiet and make sure that things were calm. It was probably the only reason he would overwork Alexander, just for the hopes that it would add stress to our relationship and break us, preventing us from growing any stronger.

Blake was scared of that.

I still underestimated Blake when it came to him and the actions he would take under fear, just so that he could keep me as far away as possible and as quiet as possible.

At least, that’s what I thought.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up before.” He grinned at me, diffusing my emotions a bit. “I’m honestly a little scared but also pretty turned on.”

I jokingly punched his thigh. “You should be scared. I’m gonna beat you up after I beat up Blake.”

Alexander cocked his head, his messy hair falling a bit to the side, the gentle curls clumped together as though her was styled for a magazine cover photoshoot.

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell him.” His words threw a wrench straight into my well-oiled cog machine of forgiveness and closure. I planned on the fact that by telling Blake, I would be able to move on from all of this and grow to be a functioning member of society. Instead, I would have this cloud of secrecy looming over me for the rest of my life. And what would happen when nine months roll around and Blake remembers to check up on me, realizing what the truth was.

But now, Alexander, someone who I had grown to trust incredibly fast, was telling me that I should keep it from him.

He didn’t realize how much Blake disliked secrets.

“I don’t think I would be able to sleep well at night, at all, not if I don’t tell him something.” I admitted it point blank.
 

“Yeah, but if he does hear this and then explodes because he wasn’t there or because he feels guilty, the news leaks on that, people start putting puzzle pieces together, and bam, you’re the talk of the town.”

My neck twitched. “So you’re saying to keep everything a secret?”

“I think so.”

We were both forgetting just how much Blake hated secrets.

“I’m not sure… I mean, you’re the one that’s worked with him. But I feel like I shouldn’t exactly keep this from him? Besides, maybe he’ll ease up on you.” I tried to find the silver-lining to this all, something so that Alexander wouldn’t think it was such a bad idea.

I noticed his hand twitch, fingers clipping at his fingernails.

“I just want you to be happy. I’m scared he may react strongly, and not in a good way. You’re right, I do work with him and I know that the person he puts up on TV isn’t the same person he is behind closed doors.” Something in his tone told me that Alexander wasn’t exaggerating. “I’ve seen him do things, just so that people would like him, even though he would be broken if anyone found out. No one would like him.”

My brows furrowed. I wanted to ask him what he was talking about, but something told me Alexander wasn’t able to say. This was only reinforced when he kept talking.

“Blake isn’t a good person. You know that. The less you have to do with him, the better. Let me wrap up with him, I’ll give him my two-weeks notice tomorrow and find a new job.”

I sat up a little at Alexander’s new plan. “Are you sure?” I asked, knowing that it was Alexander’s only source of income.

“Yeah, I can’t work for someone as disgusting as that. I’m going to have a hard time restraining myself from knocking him out tomorrow when I tell him.” His fists balled up on his lap. “Sky, I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

He tilted my head towards his, our eyes locking together, sending a warm feeling through my body and a light-headedness that signaled just what effect he was having on me.

“I’m not losing my muse.”

He leaned in and kissed me, our soft lips meeting, tenderly this time. It was slow, lazy almost. Our lips only parting at the small hint of tongue, our breaths combining in slow draws. His teeth grazed my upper lip, taking it in between, biting down just enough.

“Has this ever happened to you?”

“What?” I asked, upset that talking meant we had to stop kissing. Why couldn’t we do both?

“Fallen this far… this fast.”

A small smile formed, his words making me finally feel comfortable. A fear of mine was always loving harder than the other person. Being the one in the relationship who always went that extra mile for only an inch in return. But Alexander was different, he was reassuring me that he fell just as hard as I had.

“No,” I said truthfully, “this is all new to me.”

I tried to remember the feeling I would get with my other boyfriends, but I could barely even remember their names at this point. As bad as that sounds, all I wanted to focus on was Alexander.
 

He was such a perfect escape.

He sat up a bit, readjusting his gym shorts that I noticed had gotten bunched up, the gray material not doing much to hide Alexander’s bulge.

“What do you think it is?” he asked. I stretched out my legs, sliding them under the large black coffee table he had in front of his couch. I took a moment to answer, trying to really pinpoint the reason why everything felt so right with him. Between us.

Try as I could, I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I shrugged, hoping my smile was a good enough answer.

“Yeah. Same with me.” He smiled back and kissed me again, slowly, a finger traveling delicately under my chin.

When Alexander shifted from the love seat to the floor, his phone slipped out between us. It was during a moment lost in Alexander’s embrace that his cell vibrated loudly on the floor, like a train crash separating the both of us. The kiss was finished just as soon as the phone went off, Alexander’s hand coming over the screen and sliding it back into his pocket.

“You’re so popular,” I joked, trying to play it off.

“It’s a tough torch to carry.” He kissed me quick and then got up. “Sorry, have to run to the bathroom.”

I nodded and picked myself up off the floor. I didn’t want to dwell on it too much, not after what we had just talked about. The last thing I needed was for my paranoia to get the best of me, so I stretched out my achy muscles and let out a yawn, realizing just how tired this day had made me feel.

Alexander, walking down the hallway, must have heard me. “You can stay the night and go to bed here if you want. I’ll meet you.”
 

I thought about the proposition for a second and realized it would feel nice to be able to sleep next to Alexander and wake up next to him too. “Sounds good,” I called after him as his clicked the bathroom door shut.
 

I crawled into his bed, slipping out of my shorts and shirt, thankfully the bra and panties I was wearing were modest enough. Alexander didn’t take long to crawl in behind me, throwing a powerful arm over me, making me feel safe in his touch, surrounded by his smell.

His pillows smelled just like him too.

I closed my eyes and took in the moment, feeling Alexander form to my body, encasing me like a protective shell. I didn’t want to go anywhere else. This night could have never ended and I would have never complained.

But unfortunately it did end.

And it wasn’t the only thing that ended either.

“HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR coffee again?”

“Lots of milk and sugar,” I said from behind Alexander, wrapping my arms around his waist and over his black t-shirt, the sides cutout to reveal his swimmer’s body, muscular abs and obliques that trailed down.

He was so damn sexy.

“How did you sleep last night?” He poured some milk into the coffee, swirls of white mixing and whirling.
 

He handed the mug over to me. “Like a baby.” I took a sip, the warmth coating my lips and soothing my body. Meanwhile, the gym shorts Alexander had lent me were starting to loosen so I delicately placed the full mug down and re-tied the knot.

“Good, have any plans today?” He walked over to his plain light wooden dinner table, pulling out a chair for me as he set down a plate of buttered toast on the navy blue placemats.

“Probably stay home and do a ton of laundry,” I said, deciding against saying that I had planned on stopping by Blake’s office and telling him what had happened. I knew Alexander didn’t want me doing it, but it was something that I felt I had to do. I couldn’t see how it could turn out bad in the long run and Alexander wasn’t doing a great job of explaining his own reasoning.

“That sounds incredibly exciting.”

“Oh, it is.” I crunched into a buttery slice. “My favorite part is the waiting.”

“That has to be my favorite part too.” He smirked over his mug, the rim coated with some leftover coffee drops. I suddenly felt quite lucky to be staring at this man sitting in front of me, his hair messy with the sleepy effect, hair twirling down and curling over his forehead, bringing out those incredible blue eyes. And that perfect face, so flawless and welcoming with an edge that kept me wanting more.

He was practically a work of art.

I inhaled, bringing myself back to the moment at hand.

“How about you?” I asked, not noticing the way his eyebrow twitched upwards.

“Not much,” he trailed off, “might lock myself up and write.”

“New song?” I asked, my curiosity piquing.

He nodded, biting his lower lip the slightest bit. “I can’t let this one go.”

“Well then get to writing.”

“I will, just want to spend as much time with my muse as I could.”

I felt myself blush. It was ridiculous how easy it was for blood to travel to my cheeks. It was like there was a fast-pass lane that lead straight to the capillaries in my face, and Alexander had full access to that lane. Everything he said had the potential of sending me into a blushing fit of schoolgirl giggles, just by his accent alone sometimes.