More Than a Fling? (14 page)

A look of quick appreciation flashed across his face. ‘I’m
really not. Money is a tool, not a goal. I didn’t want to work in a corporate
environment. I wanted to do something creative—be someone other than Jonas
Bennett’s son. Jonas couldn’t understand that—that Bennett Inc. was his baby,
not mine.’

Ross finished her wine and Ally let him. He needed it a lot
more than she did at the moment.

‘This afternoon I found out that he’s been trying to buy RBM to
leverage me into coming back to run Bennett Inc. We had an argument which set my
teeth on edge. And then I came here and you...’

‘Laid into you about your hair.’ Ally shook her head. ‘I might
have said it badly but I’m still pretty unhappy that you cut it, Bennett.’

‘Because you had a look in mind for the ads?’

Ally put her hand on his jaw and pushed his cheek so that he
was facing her. ‘No, because long hair suited you. Because that was the way you
chose to wear it. Because you liked it. I never wanted to make you into
something you aren’t, Ross. You’re a long haired, stubble-toting bad-ass CEO and
that’s who I wanted to show the world. But dressed up in pretty clothes.’

Ross stared at her for a long minute.

Ally dropped her hand and smiled. ‘No worries. The face is
still good. I texted the stylist to make sure that it was as messy as possible
on the shoot. But keep the stubble, okay?’

Ross rubbed his jaw. ‘No worries about that. I’ve never had a
problem growing a beard.’

Ally moved so that she sat next to him, her shoulder against
his upper arm. Ross put his arm around her and pulled her in close.
‘Ross...’

‘Mmm?’

‘Maybe later, when you’re feeling calmer, you might look beyond
your father’s words and try and see what he could be saying by his attempts to
get you back to Bennett Inc. Maybe entrusting you with the thing he loves
most—his company—is his way of telling you that he loves you, of making amends.
Maybe he just doesn’t know how else to say it...’

‘But I don’t want it.’

‘And maybe he would accept that if you acknowledged his gift,
his trust in you, before you said no. Maybe that’s all you need to do.’

Ross didn’t say anything and Ally eventually felt his kiss on
her temple.

‘Maybe.’

Ally smiled as his big hand held her head against his chest and
they listened to the waves crashing on the beach.

* * *

They were doing a photo shoot in Ross’s office, and
perfectionist Ally winced at the messy desk, the basketball hoop on the wall and
the battered leather couch that Ross was currently lying on, laptop on his
knees, totally at ease as the photographer moved in front of him and the camera
whirled.

‘Cross your legs at the ankles,’ Bert told him, dropping to one
knee and twisting his body to get the shot he needed.

Ross, dressed in charcoal and white striped pants and a
matching waistcoat, which the stylist had placed over a snow-white T-shirt that
hugged his shoulders and bicep, looked delicious.

Ally really,
really
wished he
hadn’t cut his hair.

Everyone in the room except the photographer turned at a knock
on the door.

‘I don’t want to be disturbed!’ Bert shouted.

‘Dude—my office, my rules,’ Ross said in a calm voice that did
not encourage argument. He looked over his shoulder as Eli pushed his way past
Ally to look down at Ross.

Ally noticed that Eli didn’t seem remotely concerned or
surprised that Ross was doing a shoot.

‘We’ve hit a major snag with the Japanese build.’ He bounced on
his feet, worry rolling off him in waves. ‘The interface isn’t talking to the
hardware.’

Ross twisted his lips. ‘Okay.’

‘It’s not okay! They are flying in tomorrow afternoon for the
demo and we have nothing to demo!’

Ross swung his feet off the couch and sat up. He gave Eli a
small smile. ‘How long have you and your team been up?’

Eli tapped his fingers against his thigh. ‘We didn’t sleep last
night.’

‘Yeah—there’s your problem. Tell the boys to go home, get
something to eat—’

‘But the build...’

‘E, you’re exhausted. You couldn’t work out square roots at the
moment. Come back fresh early tomorrow morning and start again.’ Ross lifted a
powerful shoulder. ‘I guarantee that you’ll find the solution in ten minutes in
the morning.’

‘Jeez, Ross...I don’t know. Don’t you want to come and talk it
through with us?’

‘No, I pay you and your team a wicked salary to get it right;
that’s your job, not mine. Go home. I don’t want to see any of you here until
you’ve had a solid eight.’ Ross lifted his eyebrows and held Eli’s eyes.

Ally saw Eli’s nod and caught the quick look of relief on
Ross’s face. He cared about his staff and he managed them well.

‘What happens if they don’t solve the problem?’ Ally asked him
when Eli had left the room.

Ross looked up at her. ‘They will. They are the best there is;
they’re just tired and stressed—and who can be effective when they are living
like that?’

Ally knew that his raised eyebrows were for her and she wiggled
under his direct look. She liked the way he managed his people—giving them space
to do their jobs, support when they needed it—and, as she’d witnessed earlier,
when she’d walked in on Ross giving his interns a rollicking, he knew how to
wield the big stick as well.

He actually
managed
his people
while she, she suspected, either hovered until the task was perfected or simply
removed the project and did it herself.

Not healthy, she thought, or clever.

Ross, ignoring the photographer’s yelp of protest, stood up and
moved towards her to hold her face in his hands. He bent his knees so that his
eyes were level with hers.

‘You’ve got to learn to trust your people, Jones,’ he said,
before dropping a quick kiss on her mouth.

‘Can we get back to work now?’ Bert complained.

Kate, the pink-haired girl, popped her head into his office.
‘Ross, I need a minute.’

Ross grinned as Bert groaned and waved her in. He took the next
set of clothes that the stylist held out to him and jerked his head towards the
bathroom. ‘I’ll leave the door open a crack so that you can talk.’

Kate sent Ally a naughty grin. ‘Damn, I was hoping to catch a
glimpse of you naked.’

Ally gave Ross a heated look before laughing. ‘Trust me, it’s
as good as you imagine.’

* * *

Ally and Ross sat on the beach below his house, a bottle
of red pushed into the soft sand, their backs against a large piece of
driftwood. It was that magical hour between afternoon and nightfall...

‘I don’t like the word
dusk
—it
doesn’t capture the essence, the magic of this time of day,’ Ally stated
quietly. ‘The air is so still and fragrant, the waves are almost lazy, the sun
is sinking slowly...’

Ross leaned forward and twisted his torso to send her a
quizzical look. ‘Right...who are you and what have you done with logical and
practical Ally?’

Ally swatted his shoulder with the back of her hand. ‘Funny
man. I wasn’t always buttoned down and repressed, you know.’

‘I know that... Anyone who is as passionate as you in the sack
is at heart warm and emotional.’

Somehow Ross had managed to see past workaholic Ally to the
person she’d used to be. Ally wasn’t sure whether that scared the crap out of
her or made her feel warm and fuzzy.

Both, probably.

‘I have reasons for being practical and logical, Ross,’ she
stated quietly.

‘Ready to tell me what they are?’

Was she? She didn’t know if ‘ready’ was the right word. She
didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to expose herself like that. It was as scary
as hell, but she wanted to crack the door open, to let him in...

Maybe just to prove to herself that she could.

‘My father was a stoic, practical, unemotional man who didn’t
know how to raise or relate to a little girl. He loved me—I know he did—he just
didn’t
get
me. I was an emotional child—either
wildly happy or crazy sad. I’d weep for days if I found a dead bird or laugh
like crazy at a book or a comic or a TV show.’ Ally rolled the stem of her wine
glass between her hands. ‘He couldn’t deal with either. He wanted...
needed
peace. He had a hugely stressful job and
couldn’t cope with much more at the end of the day—couldn’t cope with me.’

Ally heard Ross swear, knew he was thinking badly of her father
and needed to protect him.

‘As I said—he loved me, Ross. He just didn’t know how to handle
me. As I grew up I realised that every time I showed emotion he retreated, but
when I managed to control those emotions he could engage with me. I wanted his
attention so I controlled my emotions. By the time I was thirteen I’d learnt to
look outside of what I was feeling to the logic and practicality of the
situation.’ Ally smiled quickly. ‘I was one hell of a debater.’

‘I just bet you were,’ Ross muttered, refilling their wine
glasses.

‘He died on a beach in Phuket. I was with him,’ Ally said in a
low, calm voice. ‘Justin and Sabine had bullied him into taking a holiday—sound
familiar?—and I came out of the water and he was dead.’ Her breathing became
shallow and spots danced behind her eyes.

‘I’ve got you,’ Ross said in his deep, stable voice.

Ally felt his arm around her, anchoring her, and pulled in a
couple of deep breaths. ‘I’ve never told anyone this, so just hang on while I
blurt it all out. There was a lot of confusion. I think I screamed and people
ran to us. Somebody tried to give him CPR but I kept getting in their way,
yelling at him to wake up. The police came. I remember lots of people in
uniform. There was the language problem—it was Thailand—and I remember going to
a police station and nobody quite knowing what to do with me for the longest
time.’

Ross urged her to sip her wine, which she did, and she felt the
tart liquid slide down her dry throat.

‘Eventually they allowed me to go back to my hotel room with a
young Thai policewoman to look after me. She didn’t speak any English so she
watched Thai TV and ordered Room Service. Someone came from the British Embassy
and asked me a million questions, some of which I managed to answer. I was told
to hang on, that they were working on what to do with me.’

Ally shuddered.

‘I was so scared, Ross. I was in a foreign country in a hotel
room and I’d just lost my dad. I thought that I’d end up in some Thai orphanage.
After two or three days the fear just got to me and I think I shut down. When
the man from the embassy came back I couldn’t talk to him—couldn’t speak at all.
My vocal cords were literally frozen in fear. I was too scared to eat, drink,
bathe.’

Ally yelped as Ross grabbed her and yanked her onto his lap,
holding her against him and burying his face in her hair. She patted his arm in
an attempt to reassure him. Or was it herself? Did it matter?

‘I’m not sure how long it took—it felt like years—but then
Justin and Sabine came and I could breathe again. I knew that I was safe.’

Pic crawled up to them and laid his head on Ally’s thigh,
whining at her distress. Ally immediately reached out to rub his head.

After a long time, Ross spoke again. ‘But you’ve never allowed
yourself to really be part of their family. They love you, Al, so why not?’

Ally heard the reassuring thump of his heart and sifted through
the words, picking up and discarding phrases until she found the right ones.
‘When the man from the embassy came to tell me that Justin and Sabine were on
their way he suggested that I not give them any trouble. I shouldn’t make waves.
He said that they could return me to the system at any point.’

Ross growled. ‘Bastard.’

Ally shrugged. ‘He just reinforced what I’d already been
taught. I didn’t want to risk losing them. I’d already lost my mother and father
and I didn’t think I could—don’t think I can—lose someone else I love. Anyway,
I’d already learnt to shut down my emotions with my dad so I thought that was
what they expected too. It was safer to be disconnected, Ross—it still is.’

‘But it’s not healthy.’

‘That’s a matter of perspective,’ Ally replied. ‘You’ve called
me a basket case before, Ross, but you just never quite realised quite how well
I fit the bill.’

Ross’s arms tightened around her but he ignored her comment.
‘So why do you work so hard?’

‘Partly to repay the Bellechiers for taking me into their home.
Partly because it keeps me from thinking. Mostly because it’s the one place
where the world approves of logic and practicality, where emotion has no place.’
Ally tipped her head back to look up into his gorgeous face. ‘I’ve never told
anyone else this, Ross.’

‘Why did you tell me?’

Ally shrugged. ‘I’m not actually sure.’

‘Oh, Alyssa.’ Ross rubbed his chin in her hair. ‘I think the
truth is that you want to reconnect with your emotions, with yourself, and this
might be the first step. But you should be doing this with your family, Al, with
Sabine.’

And not with me...
Ally heard the
unspoken words and she knew that they were truth personified. He was temporary—a
lovely, lovely diversion—but he wasn’t long term. She would be going back to
Geneva and he would be staying in Cape Town and in time he would be a wonderful
memory.

She didn’t want him to be a memory but how could he be anything
else? She was so not his type. And there was the little hurdle of there being
all of Africa and a fair chunk of Europe between them.

‘I think you deserve more from life than the half-life you are
living. I think you are too smart, have too much to give, to waste your life at
work. You have too much passion inside to spend it alone.’ Ross rubbed his hand
across her back. ‘Start with Sabine, Al, be brave and let her in.’