Read Moving On Without You Online
Authors: Kiarah Whitehead
Moving On Without You (12 page)
The prom committee had a
table set up in the front of the cafeteria for people to purchase tickets and
vote for the king and queen. It was Tracy's sophomore year and nobody had asked
her go to prom. She skipped the table and headed to the back of the room where
she found John at their lunch table deep into his comic book.
"Hey! You didn't wait for me," she said.
"I saw you talking to Mr. Shafer. I didn't
know how long you were gonna take."
"My god! I just had one question."
"No, I left after your third question."
"I heard you went to Cici's party."
"Who told you that?"
"Max."
"You know Max?"
"Yeah, he's my boyfriend. We went to
Roosevelt together."
"I didn't know that. I went to Roosevelt too."
Tracy was shocked. Max had not mentioned going to
school with John. He just said they were friends. She assumed they met in the
neighborhood.
"When?"
"I went there for middle school."
"Dang. Did everybody go to that school?"
"Yeah, so you're dating Max. . . ."
His voice trailed off. John looked concerned, but
Tracy had already heard all the rumors about Max. She knew he had a bad reputation,
but the guy she was dating didn't act that way at all. He was kind, gentle,
and, despite all her advances, he would not touch her.
"We talked for a minute when I was at
Roosevelt. Then we sort of lost touch until a little while ago," she said.
"Yeah, just be careful."
"You always say that. I am careful."
"Max is nice but he's—, nevermind."
Trouble. Yeah, she knew that already. He could
charm the pants off of anyone, but he was holding back and being a perfect
gentlemen. That was something that most people probably didn't realize about
him. Tracy wondered how all the rumors got started because Max was not the guy
his reputation portrayed him to be.
"What?"
"I'm just trying to look out for you."
"I know, but trust me you do not have to
worry. I can take care of myself."
"Alright."
Honestly, Tracy did worry Max might hurt her. Max
had the power to turn her world upside down simply because she cared more for
him than she did for herself most of the time. She had given him her heart and
now he knew. It would be so easy for him to rip it out of her chest again, but
she hoped he wouldn't. They had come too far for this to be some kind of game
he was playing. It did not stop her from worrying though.
The phone was ringing off the hook, but Tracy
ignored everyone. She had to finish this homework quickly if she had any hope
of seeing Max for more than an hour. When Bryan called she knew she could not
ignore him. He did not call often and he was so far away she would feel guilty
not speaking to him any time she had the chance.
"Hello?"
"Hey, boo!" Bryan said. "I know
you're busy, but I have to tell you something real quick."
"What?"
"I'm moving back home!"
Tracy couldn't believe it. She had listened to
Bryan talk about how much he loved Georgia and she thought he might never
return. This was amazing news.
"Oh my god! When?"
"As soon as school ends. My mom wants me to
finish the year, but it's not really working out down here. . . .and I miss
you!"
"I miss you, too! I didn't want to say
anything because I didn't want to make you sad, but I'm glad you're coming
back!"
"It's gonna be so much fun. I can't wait to
see you and Sean."
"Sean?"
"Yeah we talk from time to time."
This was a strange revelation. Maybe they had
gotten closer than Tracy realized after she left Roosevelt. It was odd that
Sean never mentioned Bryan. She didn't even know they had kept in touch.
"Oh I did not know that but okay."
"Yeah, he loves me."
"Shut up!"
It would be like old times. The three of them
could meet up and hang out. Maybe Tracy's mother would start letting her
practice driving the car so that she could get a license. Then she could pick
up her friends and go places.
Janet had been more lenient with Tracy, but
driving was a whole new venture. She took Tracy to the DMV for the permit test
and Tracy passed on the first try. That was the easy part, but when Tracy asked
if she could practice in the car her mother told her to ask her father. Telling
her to ask her father was just like saying no. Tracy could not call her dad.
She didn't even have a current number. The man didn't make it over her house
for Christmas and she didn't hear from him on her birthday. It looked like
driving was another unattainable dream.
At least she had her friends and a reliable
boyfriend to walk her to the places she needed to go. Max even helped her fill
out a few job applications, but none of them called her back. She figured she
would get back to it in the summer.
Tracy walked down the hill toward Keisha's place.
Keisha needed to get out of the house just as badly as Tracy did. So she
stopped to grab her on the way to Max's most of the time now. When Tracy was
less than a block away she could see Keisha sitting on her front steps waiting.
She rose to greet her friend.
"Finally! I've been sitting here all
day!"
"You know how far I live."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so bored. I couldn't
wait to get out of there."
"Me too. Bryan called and had me on the
phone. I had to hurry up and hang up so I could finish my homework."
"Oh."
"How's everything with you?"
"I'm dropping out."
Tracy stopped walking to look at her friend. She
was not sure she understood the statement.
"Dropping out of what?"
"School."
Tracy couldn't find the right words. She didn't
want to say the wrong thing and upset her friend, but Keisha was way too
nonchalant about this.
"I'm pregnant."
"Are you sure?"
"I think I would know, Tracy. I told Brandon
and we're keeping it."
It was a dumb move especially considering this was
not the first time.
"I had some complications with my cervix
after the first procedure. My doctor was really concerned about it. I didn't
know if I would be able to have another baby. So when I got pregnant again I decided
I had to keep this one. I may not get another chance."
"You don't think you're too young?"
"Of course I know that but this must have
happened again for some reason. Maybe it's my time. Maybe I'm supposed to have
my baby right now."
"What about college? You can't get your
mother to help so you won't have to drop out?"
"She has her own issues."
"What about your aunt or grandma?"
"I have to do this on my own."
It seemed like Keisha had already made up her
mind. Tracy was angry that Keisha was even considering this an option. She
should have the abortion, start her career, and consider having children later.
Being a mother was too hard. Keisha wasn't ready. She was a fool to think she
could take this on.
"What did Brandon say?"
"He doesn't want me to drop out. He said I
can live with him if my mother kicks me out of the house."
"You'll live next door with your
boyfriend?"
"I don't know!"
The whole idea was ridiculous. Tracy couldn't
understand how Keisha let this happen in the first place. There were tons of birth
control options, but Keisha insisted on being an idiot.
"Do me a favor. Just finish this school year
and then you have the whole summer to figure out what you'll do for next year.
We're almost at the end anyway."
Keisha stood there for a while. She looked like
she might have been thinking or possible she was just annoyed. Tracy hoped she
would listen to reason. Keisha didn't have to abort the child if she didn't
want to, but there was no reason she couldn't at least finish her high school
diploma. Plenty of girls got pregnant and went to high school. There were
schools with daycare centers in them. It was not the end of the world.
"Fine. I'll think about it."
"Thank you!"
The two of them continued their walk down the
hill. It wasn't the best news, but it was a start.
"Since I am keeping the baby, will you be my
baby's god-mother?"
"Huh?"
"You're my best friend and I would never ask
anyone else."
Tracy had no idea what being a god-mother
entailed. She knew she had to get the baby presents on birthdays and Christmas.
That was pretty much all her god-mother had ever done for her. She barely saw
them woman since she moved out of state.
"What do I have to do?"
"Help me plan my baby shower and stuff like
that."
"I guess."
Every time Tracy saw Max it was like the first
time. She never got tired of being around him. Sometimes she sat on his stomach
while he lied on the bed and she traced every muscle on his body. He was
perfect. For hours she stared at him and she could not find one flaw. There was
nothing that she did not like about him. Everything he said made her laugh. It
was exactly what she had been dreaming of since she first met him.
"I missed you."
"I missed you, too."
"I have so much on my mind. You have no
idea."
It was cool the way Max listened. He didn't talk
much, but he was honest when he did speak. She appreciated having him near her
especially when she felt like nobody else could hear what she said.
"You think we'll be together forever?"
she asked.
"Yes. I'll never leave you. You're the best
thing that's ever happened to me."
"Really?"
"Of course. I've never met anyone like
you."
Max reached up to pull her head toward his and
kissed her openly. It felt so right to kiss him. His lips were soft and
inviting. He was all she ever wanted.
"I can't wait anymore," she said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
Tracy kissed Max to keep him from talking and
began to pry at his pants.
"Wait a second."
"Wait for what? Nobody's up here. Your mom
isn't even home. Max, I can't wait anymore."
Tracy had left Keisha outside with the kids. Her
and Max were alone in his room and they had less than an hour before Tracy's
curfew ended. She was determined to get what she wanted. It had been months.
There was nothing left to lose and if she lost him she would just be glad she
had fun while it lasted.
Max and his cousin walked the girls back up the
hill, dropping Keisha off at her residence. The two of them continued up the
hill with Max's cousin lagging behind. Tracy had already missed her curfew, but
it was worth it. It was not dark yet which had to count for something. Max
stopped at the corner and pulled Tracy close to him so that he could kiss her
one more time before she entered the house.
"You know I meant what I said earlier right?
About you being the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"I love you so much."
"I know and one day I'm gonna marry you. I
swear."
Tracy squeezed him one last time before they
parted ways.
"I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah!"
"You're such a dork."
"Whatever."
She watched him race his cousin until they
disappeared down the hill. He was a dream come true and he was all hers. Tracy
could not believe he was finally her boyfriend, her lover, and her best friend.
She was going to enjoy every minute of it because she had fought too hard to
have this moment.
