Mr. Big (8 page)

Would Nelson get home in time to go the store? Was there even any money left?

Jennifer was finishing up the feeding when she took a sudden cramp in her belly. She recognized at once what it was. She had started her period. But these days her periods presented a whole new problem. With barely enough money for diapers, there was never enough for a box of tampons. So Jennifer had to learn to make do. She went to the cupboard where she had stored a pile of plastic bags and old rags that she had saved up. With those two items she had learned to make her own sanitary napkins. It would have to suffice, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

Two hours later, Nelson came home.

“Where were you?” she asked.

“At the bar.”

“I'm down to the last diaper, and there's no milk for the girls. You have to go to the store right away.”

“I don't have any money,” he snapped. “I don't know what you're going to do. Wait till you get the family allowance cheque, I suppose.”

“There's no way. I need those things now, even if I have to call the welfare office,” she said.

“I don't care what you do,” he said. And Nelson headed back out the door.

Jennifer picked up the phone and called the local Salvation Army food bank and explained her situation.

“We'll be right there,” said Captain Budgell.

The captain and his wife arrived within an hour. They sat with Jennifer and talked to her about how things were going, and they spent some time playing with the girls.

But then it was down to business.

“Can we have a look at your cupboards to see what kinds of items you need?” he asked.

When the officer opened the cupboards and the refrigerator, it didn't take long for him to evaluate the need.

Jennifer and the babies needed everything. There was no food. No diapers.

“We'll be back in a couple of hours, Jennifer,” Captain Budgell said. “And we'll be making sure that you and your girls will be okay.”

Jennifer felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. Finally, there was someone to take care of her and her daughters. She was so relieved.

But she also wondered what Nelson was doing with the rest of the money. And where was he getting his food? She imagined that while she and the girls had bare cupboards, Nelson was treating himself to takeout pizza and fried chicken. The picture was also becoming clearer that Nelson had a gambling problem.

When the Salvation Army officers came back that day, they brought over $600 in food and toiletries. There was even baby shampoo and soaps for the girls.

For the next little while she could relax without having to worry about how she would pay for the needs of her children.

24

Jennifer was feeling a lot more relaxed with plenty of food on hand. For the past few days she and the girls were better able to enjoy their time together. Especially with full bellies. This morning, she was up and made a breakfast of sausage, eggs, and toast. Now she was enjoying her second cup of tea of the morning.

Nelson, meanwhile, had been in the shower for the last half-hour and had been in an unusually good mood all morning.

Just as Jennifer started in on the dishes, he came out dressed and ready for the day.

“I'm leaving now, I'll be back later today,” he announced as he put on his shoes.

Jennifer was getting used to his absence. In many ways she enjoyed it when he wasn't around. Especially at times like these, when she had everything she needed for the girls.

Nelson had fixed the stroller for her, and she spent most of the day out walking, and even did a little bit of visiting with the neighbours.

After supper, she got the girls ready for bed and sat back to watch some television. It seemed like it had been months since she'd had time to watch her favourite shows. Just as she was getting comfortable, she saw the beams of Nelson's headlights shine across the living room wall. He was home, and the last thing she wanted now was another argument.

Instead, he came through the door like an excited boy who had big news.

And he did have big news. In his hand was a brown envelope.

“Wait till you see this, Jennifer,” he announced.

In the envelope was a cheque for $28,000.

“I told you I'd get the settlement. I didn't need any lawyers. I went to Grand Falls today and settled my insurance claim with the company. They gave me the money right there,” he boasted.

“Nelson, you know what the welfare told you about this, right? The money has to be turned in to the welfare office or they're going to cut us off,” said Jennifer.

“This is my money. I'm the one who got beat up in that accident, and the welfare can't take this from me,” he snapped back.

“I need money to feed the children. Either you give the money to the welfare or you have to use it to pay the bills here,” Jennifer explained.

“I'm not giving you one dime,” he said. “This is my money. You can go to the welfare to get your own money or live off the family allowance.”

Jennifer knew that if Nelson kept the money there would be no money coming from welfare for her to take care of the kids. But there was no changing his mind.

He kept the money without reporting it.

When there was no welfare cheque in the mail that first month, Nelson realized he was being backed into a corner.

“Lets go shopping,” he said.

It was obvious Nelson had some sort of plan, and Jennifer couldn't see any other way out. So she followed along. They headed out to the local furniture store, and before she knew it their house was filled with the finest furniture around. Jennifer had actually lost track of how much they had spent.

“I'll just tell the welfare I spent all the money. Then they'll be forced to give us back our cheques,” said Nelson.

But, as Jennifer expected, it didn't work out that way.

They were going to have to sell the furniture and live off that, the welfare officer told Jennifer as she pleaded for money. Then, as quickly as the furniture had arrived, it began to disappear. They were forced to sell it all before they would be allowed back on social services. Piece by piece, all the wonderful furniture was bought and taken from the house.

Nelson collected the money, and Jennifer was left with no settlement money, and no income.

“I don't know what he's done with the money, but I need to feed my kids,” Jennifer pleaded again with her caseworker.

“We're sorry, but Nelson was supposed to turn in that cheque,” the worker explained. “Without the cheque, we can't give you any money.”

“Well, if you aren't going to help me, I will get the police involved. I don't know what Nelson did with the money, but me and the girls need money to survive,” said Jennifer.

Jennifer left the office and called the police to tell them her situation. An RCMP officer went back to the social worker with Jennifer, and shortly after that they reinstated her income.

25

Although the girls were only four months old, Jennifer had already figured out she did not want any more children with Nelson.

“Is this your decision, or his?” asked her family doctor.

But it was completely Jennifer's decision. Nelson wasn't the caring father she had hoped he would be.

The final straw for her was just the other day, when she was feeding Karen. She usually fed the girls half an hour apart, but for some reason Krista had woken up in the crib a little early.

With Krista feeding in her lap, and Karen crying from the bedroom, Jennifer called Nelson. “Why don't you go pick up Karen for a few minutes?”

Nelson walked around the corner and screamed, “Shut up!” Suddenly there was a loud bang, and Jennifer feared the worst. She jumped up and looked down the hallway. Nelson walked toward her and left the apartment.

Her heart was pounding as she approached the bedroom door. She was afraid of what he might have done. Slowly, she entered the room and looked around to discover that he had kicked a hole completely through the door.

That was enough. The next morning, she made an appointment with Dr. McDonald.

“It's my choice, and I don't want any more youngsters,” she explained to him.

It took some convincing, but her doctor finally agreed with her and booked the appointment for surgery.

For the next couple weeks, all Jennifer could think of was the surgery. In particular, she wondered how the housework would get done with her being laid up for weeks. As usual, she began doing the prep work well in advance.

A couple weeks later, and she was nearly ready. Nelson had already made it clear he wouldn't be taking care of the girls, so she had to find a sitter. Fortunately, her neighbour Sheila would be able to help, and Jennifer trusted her with the girls.

“Thanks for doing this, Sheila,” said Jennifer as she brought the girls into her neighbour's house.

Her surgery was scheduled for 8:00 a.m., so she brought the girls to the sitter the night before. She prepared their beds and had everything from bottles to diapers ready for Sheila.

At home she had taken care of all the housework except for two loads of laundry. She left the baskets sitting on the couch with the portions of detergent already measured out. All Nelson would have to do was bring the clothes downstairs and put it in the washer. With two babies, there was no room for a break in the housework. Things piled up quickly.

She went home expecting a full night's sleep without the twins to keep her awake. But being away from them wasn't easy. It seemed like she was awake every five minutes.

Jennifer was out of bed and ready for surgery well ahead of time.

At the hospital, her surgery went well, but she wasn't released until late in the afternoon. It was later than she had expected, and Nelson was there to pick her up.

“Let's go,” he said. They were still in Jennifer's hospital room, and she was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Um, she isn't walking anywhere,” said the nurse, who was giving Jennifer her instructions to care for the incision.

“Why not?” questioned Nelson.

“She isn't able to walk, and she isn't able to lift anything heavy for the next six weeks. For the next few days she shouldn't lift anything at all, and she should get plenty of rest. Nelson, you will have to help her with the babies, or she could seriously injure herself.”

The nurse went outside to get a wheelchair and then helped Jennifer get seated.

Nelson went on ahead, and by the time they made it downstairs he was outside with the car. The nurse helped Jennifer into the car while Nelson sat behind the wheel. Jennifer could see the frustrated look on the nurse's face.

At Sheila's, Jennifer got out of the car to gather up their girls and their belongings. She looked behind to see Nelson still seating in his seat.

“Aren't you going to help me, my son?” she asked.

“You can go get them.”

Jennifer went into the house, where the girls were playing happily on a blanket on the living room floor.

“Is Nelson helping?” asked Sheila.

Jennifer didn't say anything. She just went to work and gathered up the girls' belongings. She had hoped Nelson would take some pity on her and lend a hand, but she ended up bringing everything to the car. The playpen was the heaviest load, so she brought that out first. Then she went back and brought the girls out to the car, one at a time.

By the time they got home, Jennifer was exhausted. But there was still work to be done, despite her aching body. She put the girls into their cribs and unpacked their diaper bags. Nelson quickly disappeared to a friend's house in order to help him work on his car for the town's upcoming annual derby.

It was all just another reminder to Jennifer that not having any more children was the right decision.

Jennifer had been so busy with the girls she hadn't noticed that the laundry was still sitting where she had left it last night. There was no way she was leaving it there for another night.

She attempted to lift the basket, but the pain was unbearable. So she kicked it over so that the pile of clothes was on the floor. Then, using her feet, she kicked the pile across the floor and down over the stairs. At first she thought she could manage the steps, but her cut was burning. She knew she'd already done too much this evening, but if she could just get the clothes washed and into the dryer, she'd be content. So she sat on the top step for a few minutes. Then, slowly, she lowered herself to the next step, and so on. Finally, she reached the bottom step and put each piece of clothing into the washer. She was in agony, but there was no turning back. She managed to crawl back up over the steps, but again she took a break on the main floor.

As she sat with her back to the wall, she thought to herself,
I could have bled to death on these stairs tonight, and no one would have known. And I don't think Nelson would have cared.