Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman (3 page)

Undaunted, Mrs. Bennet continued on in an authoritative tone, “Mr. Darcy, every girl needs to develop her own unique style to attract the proper attention. As you see, each of my own daughters wears a fashion that suits her. Each is a little different. A mother's hand in this regard is quite important.”

Darcy hardly knew how to reply, but stammered, “Well, madam, no one who has seen you or any of your daughters could doubt your success.”

“You are too kind, sir,” exclaimed Mrs. Bennet in a flirtatious manner while Elizabeth's emotions swayed from astonishment to humiliation.

Darcy sat in amazement at the turn of the conversation and Mrs. Bennet's audacity in lecturing him about how to raise Georgiana. He began to wonder how he would ever endure the remainder of the visit without proving Elizabeth's reproof regarding his ungentlemanly conduct true. On the other hand, he had to admit that while Mrs. Bennet's manner was often harsh, she and her daughters always dressed impeccably given their financial constraints. He wondered if Georgiana did, in fact, find it difficult not having a close female relative to rely upon. Given her general timidity, it was probably natural that she was somewhat unsure of herself in this regard. And while he had never thought about it before, having the funds available to buy the latest fashions was clearly not all that was required; Caroline Bingley and his aunt were prime examples of expense taking precedence over good taste. He shuddered when he thought of how many times Miss Bingley had offered to take Georgiana shopping. As he contemplated such an excursion, an idea suddenly struck him. He offered in reply, “Well, Mrs. Bennet, what would you suggest?”

“If you have previously admired your sister in a particular gown or color, buy her something to go with it. Your notice will encourage her in that direction.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bennet, that seems a wise course of action. I think I will walk into Meryton directly. But, given my inexperience in this area, I am still unsure what I should actually purchase. I think I need another perspective. Perhaps some of your daughters would be willing to help me?”

It was not under many minutes that Mrs. Bennet could comprehend what she had heard; though not in general backward to credit what was for the advantage of her family, she understood that a man of superior connections and a fortune of ten thousand pounds a year was seeking the company of one of her daughters. Mrs. Bennet smiled broadly and purred, “Of course, Mr. Darcy.”

Elizabeth sat in dread. So, this was what he was after. Her anger rose as she anticipated being asked to join him. She tried quickly to think of a response. She vowed that, if necessary, she would refuse him outright. Screwing up her courage, Elizabeth waited in defiance for Darcy to request her company. To her astonishment, she heard Mr. Darcy reply, “If Miss Bennet is not otherwise engaged, perhaps she and her sisters could accompany me.”

With a gleam in her eye, Mrs. Bennet answered in the affirmative for Jane, who had looked up at the unexpected mention of her name. Mrs. Bennet then added, “I am sure Kitty can also accompany you, but I am afraid my other daughters are needed at home. Kitty, did you not say you wanted to visit with Miss Lucas today? You can stop on the way.”

Kitty began to say that she had not said any such thing, but was hushed by her mother into silence and directed with Jane to immediately fetch their bonnets. Mr. Darcy rose to take his leave, proposing to meet the ladies in the garden after he had seen that his horse was taken care of. As he rose, he caught Elizabeth's eye. She looked at him in astonishment. Unable to think of any other response, Darcy gave her a curt bow filled with contrition. He hoped that she understood his motivation, knowing that she most likely did not.

Elizabeth stared in disbelief, her head reeling. She was filled with determination to get to the bottom of what was happening and told her mother privately that she was going to Meryton too. Her mother exclaimed sharply that she would do no such thing. “It is clear that Mr. Darcy prefers the company of your sister Jane. They do not need any further chaperone than Kitty. The fewer people the better. Oh, Lizzy, I do not know why I did not see it before. Mr. Darcy must always have favored Jane's company. That is why he was always so sullen whenever we saw him. He resented Mr. Bingley's interference, and he must be the reason that Mr. Bingley abruptly withdrew his attentions toward her. Now that Bingley is out of the way, Mr. Darcy has returned for Jane. Oh, it all makes sense now. I was sure Jane could not be so beautiful for nothing! Oh my, think how rich and how great Jane will be! What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages. I am so pleased—so happy. Such a charming man!—so handsome! so tall!—Oh, my dear Lizzy! I must make it up to him for my having disliked him so much before.”

“Mama,” pleaded Elizabeth. “I think you must be misunderstanding the situation. Please, do not get carried away before you know all the facts. I will go with them to see what his intentions are.”

“Oh, Lizzy, absolutely not! There is no point to it. We already know he does not find you pleasing. He has said as much. You will only be in the way. No, Jane will do fine on her own. I will hear no more on the subject.”

Elizabeth was forced to watch them go. She took refuge in her room, unable to bear her mother's raptures any longer. In private reflection, she tried to sort out the tumult of emotions she was feeling. Little by little, she realized they included anger, frustration, scorn, bewilderment, embarrassment, curiosity, and, if she was honest, a touch of jealousy.

Similar Natures

After assembling in the garden, the three companions began their journey to Meryton. Kitty soon lagged behind, being both uncomfortable around the stern Mr. Darcy and intent on acceding to her mother's suggestion that she visit Maria Lucas. After walking for some time in silence, Darcy cleared his throat and finally addressed Jane. “Miss Bennet, I hope that I have not put you in an awkward position by requesting that you accompany me to Meryton?”

Unsure how to respond, Jane replied in her most genteel fashion that she was sure she would greatly enjoy Mr. Darcy's company and that she was more than pleased to assist him with his sister.

“My sister?” Darcy absentmindedly inquired. “Oh yes, we are to shop for her.” After a pause, Darcy added, “Miss Bennet, I must be honest and tell you that I did not ask you here to talk about my sister's wardrobe. I fear that my real reason will undoubtedly give you offense, as I need to speak to you about a most personal matter. I know that decorum requires that I not assume such familiarity, but I must beg your pardon and seek leave to do exactly that. If I thought there was any other way, I assure you I would not burden you in this fashion.”

With a genuine smile that put Darcy slightly more at ease, Jane replied, “Mr. Darcy, I must admit I suspected that there might be an ulterior motive for your request. But, sir, do not be uncomfortable. Please feel free to speak to me as you would to any other good friend, as that is what I hope we will soon become.”

Darcy replied sincerely, “Madam, you are far too kind. Nonetheless, I will accept your invitation and, with your permission, speak frankly. I want you to know, however, that I truly appreciate your generosity of spirit. I can imagine how much it must cost you. I had feared that you would refuse to speak to me altogether.”

“Sir, I would never even consider doing such a thing.”

“Well, I am relieved to hear it. But, Miss Bennet, let me apologize nonetheless for asking for your company in a manner that made it very difficult for you to object. It was selfish of me, and I am afraid that in the process I may have given your mother the wrong impression.”

Jane replied, “Sir, if you are to speak frankly, then so will I. You may be right that my mother misunderstood your intentions, but do not concern yourself. It will not be the first time nor, I fear, the last.”

Surprised by Jane's candor, Darcy had to return her smile. He then grew quiet as he searched for the strength to broach a subject he dreaded. Jane for her part was inclined to let Mr. Darcy take his time. Suspecting that he wished to speak to her about Lizzy and understanding that it would be a painful subject for him, she wanted to let him gather his thoughts before he spoke. She had to admit this was a side of Mr. Darcy she had not expected. He now seemed so unsure of himself and at great pains to be as civil as possible. While she had never held Lizzy's poor opinion of him, she was surprised to see how amiable he could be and suspected that much of his restrained manner stemmed from shyness.

After a lengthy pause Darcy asked, “Miss Bennet, I assume Miss Elizabeth told you of the events that transpired in Kent?”

“Yes, Mr. Darcy, she did confide in me, but rest assured that I would never speak of it to anyone else.”

Feeling all the embarrassment incumbent in having his rejection at Hunsford finally out in the open, Darcy was unable to meet Jane's gaze until he realized that she might think his question a rebuke. Looking at her with a self-conscious smile, he replied, “No, no, of course not, and I did not mean to imply that that was my concern.”

“Thank you, sir, for trusting me, but I must tell you that if you want me to speak to Lizzy on your behalf, I am not sure that it is the wisest course of action.”

“No. Miss Bennet, I think we both know that there is no point in that.”

“Mr. Darcy, I did not mean to imply that I would not try on your behalf, if that is what you wish. I just thought that it might be better for you to speak to her directly given your previous misunderstandings.”

Unsure of how to continue, Darcy stammered, “No, Miss Bennet, you misunderstand me. I truly understand that my… relationship with Elizabeth—Miss Elizabeth—is beyond repair, and I have come to accept that. More importantly, I would not want her to think that I came here to force my suit upon her. I think I have imposed upon her enough.”

Jane felt for his obvious pain but did not know what she could say to help. She knew that he must be embarrassed, and sensed that if she tried to discuss the matter further, it would only make him more uncomfortable. The issue was decided for her when Darcy stated, “Miss Bennet, did your sister tell you about the letter that I wrote her?”

“Yes, sir, I am afraid she did, but I hope you will not hold it against her. I think she needed to talk to someone about its contents.”

With a tinge of irony, Darcy replied, “Yes, Miss Bennet, I am sure she did.” After a pause, he added in a more serious tone, “Knowing how close you two are and that some of the information in it concerned you, I had assumed that she would discuss it with you. I would never blame her for doing so, as I now realize you had a right to know its contents all along. That is why I have come to speak to you.”

“Sir, I assume you are referring to Mr. Wickham. Rest assured that my sister and I both now comprehend the nature of his character and regret that he has been allowed to cast aspersions on your own. I believe my sister would want me to offer you an apology on her behalf as well.”

“Miss Bennet, thank you. But no apology is required. While I am exceedingly grateful that you both believe me about Mr. Wickham's misdeeds and will be able to guard against any of his further contrivances, I must confess that I was not referring to him. I was hoping we could talk about the matter in the letter that concerned you directly.”

Coloring slightly, Jane answered, “Sir, I am not sure what is to be said on that topic. I know that you expressed some… concerns… about some of the members of my family… but truly I have taken no offense, and you certainly do not owe me an explanation…”

“Miss Bennet,” Darcy interrupted, “what did your sister tell you I wrote in my letter?”

Feeling all the more awkward, Jane replied, “She told me that you wanted to clear your name against the charges Mr. Wickham had leveled against you and that you had explained why you had reservations about proposing.”

Darcy bowed his head and temporarily closed his eyes, realizing that he had once again misjudged the situation. Suddenly, his plan for coming to Hertfordshire no longer made sense. Jane knew no more than Bingley did. He was reminded once again why he abhorred deception. The complications involved were never worth the temporary gain, and pain always resulted. He resolved from now on to tell the truth whenever possible.

If the realization of his misjudgment were not bad enough, Miss Bennet had also reminded him of his poorly worded proposal and Elizabeth's reaction. After a pause, he stated, “Miss Bennet, as to your family, I want to take this opportunity to apologize for anything I may have said that gave offense. While it might be hard to believe, it was not meant to injure. Nonetheless, it was rude of me, and I heartily regret it.” Pausing to collect himself, Darcy then stated, “Be that as it may, I need to speak to you about another matter entirely. I had thought that your sister would have spoken to you about it already. It now appears she did not. This will undoubtedly make my task harder, but no less necessary. I actually want to talk to you about Mr. Bingley.”

Jane started at the mention of his name. While he was never far from her thoughts, especially since the arrival of his friend, she had completely turned her attention to what she thought was Mr. Darcy's attempt to broach a reconciliation with Lizzy. Trying to regain her composure, Jane replied in a shaky voice, “Mr. Darcy, I do not know what you could mean.”

At that moment, Kitty called to them to let Jane know that she intended to go up the lane to see if Maria Lucas would come to Meryton. Jane gave Kitty a brave smile and told her they would wait for her in the lane. Darcy could see that Jane was struggling to regain her self-control and suggested that they wait on a bench at the edge of the Lucas property.

After Jane was comfortably seated and more composed, Darcy said, “Madam, I am afraid I must confess an offense that I have committed against you. I know that my story will give you nothing but pain, but I believe there is a purpose to be served. Please forgive me for this further transgression.” After Jane nodded for him to continue, Darcy asked, “Miss Bennet, I am sure that you must have wondered about Mr. Bingley's hasty departure from Hertfordshire last fall.”

“Sir, really there is no need. Mr. Bingley is free to travel whenever and wherever he chooses. He does not need to explain his reasons for leaving to me.”

“Miss Bennet, I did not mean to imply anything by my statement. If you will allow me, I need to tell you what happened. It is of some importance to me, and I believe you should know the details. Will you listen?”

“All right, sir, if you think it best.”

“Last fall, it quickly became apparent to me that Mr. Bingley greatly favored your company. I soon also realized that many in the neighborhood had expectations about your future together.” At this Jane colored and looked at her hands. “Knowing Bingley as I do, I knew that he had given his heart freely, without thought to more material considerations. I am not offering it as an excuse, but experience has made me a little more jaded. Consequently, I began to wonder at the level of regard you held for him.”

At this Jane raised her head to look at Darcy. Her wounded gaze was more eloquent than any denial. Ashamed, he instinctively looked away. He then forced himself to look back, resigned to see his task to its end. “I began to study you, to see if I could discern any affection on your part, and while your countenance was always cheerful and pleasing, I could not detect any special regard for my friend.”

On the brink of tears, Jane exclaimed, “But why else would I favor his company unless I held him in high esteem?” Before he answered, Jane suddenly understood and quietly added, “Oh, I see.”

“I am sorry, Miss Bennet. You must understand that Bingley has a very trusting nature, and I have watched women with mercenary motives hurt him before. I did not want that to happen again. I honestly did not see any evidence that you returned his regard, and… I was concerned that you had other influences encouraging you to accept his attentions.” Understanding the reference to her mother, Jane looked away as she fought back a tear.

Seeing her distress, Darcy added, “I know now that I was wrong. But at the time, I sincerely believed it was in Bingley's interest to give him my opinion.” Having regained her composure, Jane nodded for him to continue.

“While he was in London, I did exactly that, and given his great natural modesty, he easily believed me. Thinking that you did not return his regard, he decided to stay in London.”

Jane impulsively asked, “But Miss Bingley told me in her letter that Mr. Bingley wanted to stay in town because he enjoyed the company of your own sister.”

With a frown, Darcy said, “I did not realize Miss Bingley had written to you.” Both remained silent, while he considered his options. He then continued in a resolute tone, “Miss Bennet, I came to Hertfordshire to confess my guilt only, but I now see that I must tell you a few more particulars. Before I left for London to speak to Bingley, his sisters expressed their concerns to me about the possibility of a match between you. In London, the three of us spoke to Bingley together. His sisters encouraged him to stay in town, and I told him my suspicions about your affections. I believe that Miss Bingley wrote to you to discourage any attachment you may have had for her brother. My sister was just a convenient excuse. As I recently mentioned, she is only sixteen years old and has always thought of Bingley as a brother, nothing more. Bingley, in turn, has always treated her as a sister.”

“Mr. Darcy, thank you for telling me this. It has certainly enlightened me as to a great many things.”

“Unfortunately, Madam, there is more, and I am afraid my conduct in this unfortunate tale becomes even more reprehensible. I knew that you called on Miss Bingley last winter in London and that she returned the visit. I also know that no one, including myself, informed Bingley of your presence. I think if he had known that you had come, he would have sought you out.”

At this, Jane paled and said, “This is all too much. I do not know what to think.”

“Miss Bennet, I am so sorry for having misunderstood your motives and for having deceived Bingley about your presence in London. I have no excuse and expect no sympathy. But I did not come here just to burden you with my confession. While I was in Kent, your sister told me about the real regard you held for Bingley. It made me understand that I had committed a grave injustice against you both. I would like to try to make amends.”

Before Jane could respond, Maria and Kitty joined them. After Darcy inquired after Maria's health, the party of four took their leave. Darcy and Jane waited until Kitty and Maria outstripped them. Darcy then said, “Miss Bennet, are you all right?”

“Sir, I fear this is too much to comprehend. I can barely credit what you have told me. I do not doubt all that you have said, but I cannot understand… how it came to pass.”

“I cannot speak for the others, but for my part, I know I acted out of selfishness and arrogance. My selfishness is obvious, and I have recently come to learn that my judgment is far less accurate than I would like to believe. I now understand that your reserved nature made it difficult for an outsider such as myself to ascertain your true feelings. Given that our natures are very similar in that regard, my mistake is all the more unforgivable.”

Seeing that Jane was deep in thought, Darcy waited until she looked up at him. “Miss Bennet, I know that I have overstepped the bounds of propriety with you throughout our discussion, but I need to ask you one more question. Do you still hold Bingley in special regard?”