Mrs. Lilly Is Silly!
Read Mrs. Lilly Is Silly! Online
Authors: Dan Gutman
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About the Author and Illustrator
My name is A.J. and I hate spiders. Aren't spiders gross? Yesterday I was in my backyard, and one of those disgusting things crawled up my leg. I thought I was gonna die!
Something else really weird happened yesterday. It was Friday. I walked into Mr. Granite's class at school, and there were three grown-ups sitting on chairs in front of the whiteboard: a fireman, a cowboy, and a frogman.
“Who are
they
?” whispered my friend Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food.
“Those guys must have escaped from the loony bin,” said Michael, who never ties his shoes.
We were all talking, until Mr. Granite held up his hand and made a peace sign, which means “shut up.” Some other grown-ups came in and sat in front of the whiteboard.
“Good morning, everyone,” said Mr. Granite. “Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education, decided that today would be Career Day at Ella Mentry School. So I invited a few of my friends to come in and tell you about their jobs. Maybe this will help you decide what
you
want to be when you grow up.”
“I already know what
I'm
going to be,” I said. “A pro skateboarder.”
“Me too,” said Alexia, who is a girl but is cool anyway.
“I want to be a veterinarian,” said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair that I hate.
“You want to grow up and not eat meat?” I asked.
“That's a
vegetarian
, Arlo!” Andrea said, rolling her eyes. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don't like it. Why can't a truck full of vegetarians fall on Andrea's head?
The frogman stood up first. He had a mask on his face and flippers on his feet.
“I'm a scuba diver,” he told us. “I feed the fish at the aquarium blah blah blah.”
He told us all about how he feeds the fish. Then the cowboy stood up.
“I milk the cows and groom the horses and blah blah blah,” he said. He told us what it was like to work on a ranch. Then some other guy stood up.
“I'm an exterminator,” he said. “My job is to kill bugs and blah blah blah.”
Grown-ups sure have weird jobs!
“Our next guest is a special surprise,” Mr. Granite told us. “Please welcome ⦠professional skateboarder Tony Eagle!”
Wow! Tony Eagle is
famous
! He's been on TV. Me and the guys and Alexia started clapping and shouting.
Tony Eagle came rolling into the room. But he didn't come rolling in on a skateboard. He came rolling in on a wheelchair!
“What happened to
you
?” I asked.
“I broke every bone in my body,” Tony told us.
“You must have been working on a really awesome new trick, huh?” asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.
“No.”
“Were you trying to jump over a car?” I asked. “That is cool!”
“No.”
“What happened?” asked Ryan.
“I ⦠uh ⦠ran into a door,” said Tony Eagle.
Ouch! Running into doors hurts. Maybe I don't want to be a pro skateboarder after all.
A bunch of other grown-ups told us about their jobs. A lawyer told us that he argues with people all day. A nurse told us that she has to clean up blood and guts and puke at a hospital. The fireman told us that one time a burning building collapsed while he was in it.
And I thought going to
school
was no fun! After Career Day, I'm not sure I want to grow up to be a grown-up at
all
. I think I'll just stay a kid for the rest of my life.
When they were all done, the grown-ups started to leave. But you'll never believe who ran into the door at that moment.
Nobody! If you ran into a door, you could end up in a wheelchair like Tony Eagle.
