Muse - Fighting Fate #1 (16 page)

Cha
pter 27

Mia

Are you okay?

I’d read those words over and over again since Jace had sent them to me after lunch. I knew the ‘
I’m fine’
text I’d sent back probably didn’t reassure him at all, but him asking me point blank at school about my anxiety had been a shock. I hadn’t been prepared for it, and I had no idea how to handle it.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to share it with him. I did. It was just that I’d never really shared my story with anyone
before. Not even Mom or Aiden. Sure, they knew what the police had told them, but no one could get me to talk back then, and I guess as the years passed by, they just learned to leave it be for fear of upsetting me.

When I became friends with Kaeli, I just pulled up the news article on it on the internet and let her find out that way. It was just easier for me.

I didn’t want to do that with Jace though. He deserved more than that. There were two telltale signs that told me he was worth the full unedited story. One was the fact that he didn’t tiptoe around me like I’d break, sending me a, ‘
You didn’t look fine…
’, text, calling me on my bullshit, and the other was the fact that he seemed to know when enough was enough, and after not hearing back from me, knew well enough to leave it alone.

As I sat in my room that night, I considered calling him, but
I still had no idea how to tell him. The thought made me as nervous as hell. I knew it was a huge road block for me, and if Jace and I had any chance at all of making it as a couple, I needed to share my past with him and overcome all the things that stood in our way.

The buz
zing sound of an incoming text message drew my attention to my phone lying on the bed in front of me. The instant I saw Jace’s name, my heart started racing, but not in the usual excited way. This was more like a slight panic. I opened it up to read the message with my heart in my throat.

Can I ring you?

Shit.

I threw the phone on the bed and stood up, pacing the floor. He was going to want answers. God,
I
would. But was I ready to talk? That was the million dollar question. I groaned and picked up my phone, typing quickly and hitting send before I could stop myself.

OK

Oh crap. The phone rang almost immediately. Taking a deep breath, I answered. “Hi.”

“Hey, how are you? I was worried about you after lunch today.”

I sighed. “I was fine. Aiden was just overreacting, that’s all.”

The line was silent for a couple of heartbeats before he spoke up, and when he did, his voice was low and cautious. “It wasn’t Aiden’s reaction I was worried about
, Mia.”

My heart was going crazy. I was going to do it. I knew now. “Do you really want to know?”

“Of course I do. You’re my girlfriend, Mia. I care about you.”

In that moment, I knew he really did. I could hear it in his voice, and
funnily enough, it made the nerves in me settle. “Has Aiden ever told you about how our dad died?”

I could almost hear the confusion in his silence. “Uh…only that he got caught in a riot or something, right?”

I held my breath for a while, willing the words to come. Something about the warmth in his voice made me want to give them up though. “Yeah.” I swallowed. “Well…I was there.”

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I was positive in that moment I could say the same for Jace’s silence. I could almost see
the concern on his face, and it gave me strength to push onwards.

“Aiden and I were four. We were supposed to be at kindy together, but he
was sick that day, so it was just me. When the centre rang and said they were evacuating because of the riots, Dad came to get me...”

I paused to take a few steadying breaths. I was trying to keep the quiver from my
voice, but there was just no stopping it.

“
We’d almost made it out of the district. We only had one more block to go, but someone had set a car on fire and it’d exploded, blocking our way out. Dad grabbed me out of the car and decided to carry me to safety. There were so many people. I remember thinking they all sounded so angry. Dad kept telling me we were nearly there, to not worry. That it was going to be alright…”

The pictures that I’d tried so hard to bury broke free in my mind, hitting me in full
technicolor glory. My breath hitched, and when I spoke again, my voice came out sounding little more than a whisper.

“I
remember the police came then. They looked so scary with their helmets and shields, but Dad ran towards them anyway. I was so confused. I didn’t know what was happening. I remember smoke appearing out of nowhere, and my eyes stinging so badly I cried. I was so scared. There was so much noise. So many people yelling and screaming. And cracking. I remember that sound the most. It was terrifying.” I paused, unsure if I could control the memories now I’d released them.

“The next thing I knew, Dad
yelled and fell down.” My voice broke. I knew I was only four when it happened, but that memory was one of the clearest ones I had out of my whole life. I could still feel his arms around me as we fell. “I didn’t know it then, but he’d been shot. He told me to run to the police, but I didn’t want to leave him, so I stayed, holding him and crying. I remember looking around, waiting for someone to come and help us, but no one did. There was so much blood, but no one seemed to care…no one even thought twice that they were walking over the top of me or my dad as he lie there dying...” I closed my eyes, letting the horror of it wash through me for a minute.

“Mia-”

The pain in Jace’s voice brought me back like a slap to the face. I took strength from that and drew in another deep breath. “I don’t really remember much of what happened after that. I can only remember being picked up by a policeman and screaming when he took me away from my dad. Then I was being put in the back of his car.”

The sound of the patio door sliding open drew my attention and I looked up to see Jace standing there with his phone to his ear. I lowered my phone as I stared at him, realizing my cheeks were wet with tears
. “…And ever since then, it scares the hell out of me to be in a crowd.”

Jace walked towards me slowly, never taking his eyes off mine
. Cautiously, he reached for me, gently pulling me into his arms.

The instant I was in his embrace, I knew I was where I needed to be. There was
suddenly a lightness inside me I’d never known before. It was as though he’d taken the heaviness that had been my burden all these years and lifted it off me.

I melted
against his chest and closed my eyes.

We stayed like that for a long time, just silently letting his energy wash away my pain. I
t was amazing. It felt like by telling him, I’d ripped off the scab that had been festering for all these years, and now, in his arms, I was finally beginning to heal properly. For the first time in my life, I actually felt as though I had a real chance at a normal life. It felt wonderful.

So wonderful I started to cry again.

Jace pulled back to look at me, taking my face in his hands. His thumbs brushed over my cheeks softly, wiping away the tears that were still escaping. The hurt in his eyes made my heart break, and the only way I could show him I was okay was to tilt my head back and push up on my tiptoes for a kiss.

He met my kiss hesitantly, but when I reached my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him further into me, he let go.

He kissed me soft and slow. It was completely different to any other kiss we’d shared. It was like a concentrated form of healing energy, and I swore I could almost feel the hurt in me dissipating.

When we parted, Jace looked me deep in my eyes. “Thank you,” he said softly.

It was perfect. I didn’t want any more than that. I took his hand and walked him over to the bed, climbing in and gesturing for him to follow me. He kicked off his shoes and slid in beside me.

I didn’t wait for him to make the first move. I needed to be close. Pressing myself up against his chest, I kissed him deep
. As though reading my mind, Jace wrapped his arms around me, pulling me hard into him.

“Jace…?”
I whispered as his lips moved along my neck.

“Yeah
, baby?” he murmured.

“I want to be with you.”

He kissed the little sensitive spot below my ear before pulling back to look at me. “What do you mean?”

I swallowed. Damn, my emotions were all over the place. “I mean, I want to be yours
. Always.”

He smiled. “Good, because I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

I pulled him back down to kiss me and let myself get lost in the feel of him. He touched me and kissed me in all the right places, working me up to such a state, I was panting for more.

I groaned. “God, Jace…I want you so much…”

He chuckled in my ear. “I know, baby, but we can’t…”

I
let my head flop back on my pillow and huffed out loudly. Glancing at Jace, I frowned and then threw in a pout for extra emphasis. “I didn’t think periods could get any more annoying than they already were.”

Jace laughed softly and tightened his arms around me.

“It’s not funny. I haven’t come across a time I’ve wanted you and haven’t been able to have you. It’s frustrating.”

He laughed loudly then and shifted so he was leaning on one elbow, looking down at me. “Welcome to every minute of my life with you
, baby.”

I pressed my lips against his chest and inhaled. “Jace?”

He kissed the top of my head. “Mmm?”

“I want people to know.”

I felt him go still before he pulled back to look me in the eye. “Really?” His voice was full of concern, but I could see excitement in his eyes too.

“Yeah
. Do you?”

“Fuck yeah I do. We could start by telling Aiden.”

It wasn’t the actual thought of telling Aiden that worried me. I knew if he could see how happy I was and how much Jace helped me with my anxiety, he’d be okay with us being together. It was the fact that he’d know we’d been sneaking around behind his back. I knew I couldn’t have done it any other way, but it still made me feel bad. “I’m not sure I want him to know yet. I was thinking maybe we could do it slowly, you know, like start talking more at school so everyone could see that we like each other…”

He frowned in thought.
“Sure, but can we put a time limit on it? I’m so sick of having to put up with the other girls. They’re driving me crazy.”

The corner of my mouth twitched. I liked hearing that. “How about a week?”

He leaned down to kiss me. “Deal. Now, let’s watch a movie or something before we both end up severely frustrated.”

I giggled and reached for the remote.

Chapter 28

Jace

To say I was a little bit excited by lunchtime on Monday was an understatement. It was more than a little fucking weird for me to admit that, but there you have it.
I, the self-proclaimed single man forever, was excited to let everyone know I had a girlfriend.

Striding out onto the green, I sat down beside Aiden, purposefully straddling the seat sideways to take up more room than necessary. As more people came to join us, I refused to relinquish the space, waiting for Mia to arrive and hopefully Aiden to play right into my hands.

I saw when she came up beside me with Kaeli, but I pretended to be too distracted to notice.

“Move the fuck over and make room for my sister you douche bag,” Aiden said suddenly, pushing at my leg.

I repressed a smile. Yep. Right into my hands…

Swinging my leg over the bench, I moved along, happily letting her sit beside me.
She looked up at me shyly through her lashes and smiled. “Hi,” she breathed.

“Hey. How are you?” I didn’t really need to ask. We’d been texting all morning so I already knew exactly how she was, but I was determined to get this show on the road. One week. This was the beginning of the countdown.

“I’m okay. You?”

I grinned. “Couldn’t be better. Did you enjoy the careers talk?” All the seniors had just spent the entire morning attending talks relating to our chosen career fields. For people like me and the other guys in the band, it sucked royally, but I could tell by the tone of Mia’s texts that she found it exciting. It actually made me realize that was another thing I didn’t know about her. I had no idea what she wanted to do when she left school.

It was obviously something everyone else found exciting too, because everyone around us was bubbling with enthusiasm. I guessed it was mostly the idea of getting out of high school and starting the next chapter in their lives.
That
I could relate to.

Mia’s eyes twinkled a little and she smiled again. “Yeah, although it’s made me a bit more indecisive about what I want to do now.”

“What are the choices?”

She bit her lip and frowned in thought. “Some type of therapy, I think…”

I blinked. I couldn’t help it, but that was the last thing I was expecting her to say. “Like a shrink?”

She burst out laughing at that, causing both Aiden and Kaeli to turn and stare at her with surprise. “God no. I think I’m the last person who should be delving into people’s minds. I’m talking about physiotherapy, or occupational therapy, or maybe even rehabilitation. After listening to those talks though, I like the sound of being a dietitian too.” She shrugged. “I don’t know now. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do.”

“A dietitian huh?”

“Sure, why not? Someone’s going to have to keep on you guys about not falling into the trap of the rocker lifestyle.”

I laughed loudly. “You think we’re all going to turn into drug taking alcoholics with a thing for fast food?”

“Maybe not all of you,” she said slyly.

I bit the inside of my cheek thoughtfully. “Yeah, you could be right. Matt and Aiden could be loose cannons…”

“I would’ve said you too a couple of weeks ago, but now I’m not so sure…”

I would’ve fucking said me too, but she was right. That shit had no attraction for me now. “What about Dean? You don’t think he’s the type?”

Her expression turned serious as
her gaze flickered down the table to where Dean sat with Lila. “I’m worried about how he’s going to react when things turn to shit with Lila. I think he’s going to need you guys a lot, and if you all decide to help him how most guys like to help, by ploughing him full of alcohol and pushing girls on him, I think things could get pretty bad for him.”

I studied her for a while, slightly stunned by the depth of her thoughts. I hadn’t really thought about Dean’s situation like that before. I didn’t think the thing with Lila would last either, but I certainly hadn’t thought about how it would affect him. Thinking about it like that, I knew she was right. Dean was a pretty sensitive guy, and it was pretty typical for us guys to deal with that kind of shit by getting drunk and hooking up with girls. Thinking about it from Mia’s point of view, I could totally see how that could have the opposite effect on Dean. “So if you don’t think getting drunk and hooking up with a lot of girls would work,
what would you suggest?”

She smirked. “Talking. He’ll want to talk it out. And work. He should definitely put everything he’s feeling into his music. You guys will need to help him channel it into the right place. It’s either going to be destruction or creation, and how you guys guide him will depend on the direction.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. Damn. I was impressed. “You sure you don’t want to go into shrink work?”

She laughed softly and shook her head. “Definitely not.
What about you? Did you get anything out of the talks today?”

I gave her a pointed look. “A headache?”

Her laugh had Aiden giving her another sideways glance. Good. He needed to see we were good together. I ignored him.

“Yeah, I guess there’s no point
,” she continued. “The second you guys release an album, people are going to be lining up to buy it. Do you know how many people are buying tickets to a Dark Hybrid concert just so they can see you guys?”

I nodded soberly. “Yeah, it’s crazy huh?”

“Overwhelming, but certainly not crazy. You guys are going to get better reviews than The Dark Hybrid.” She giggled. “They’re going to hate you by the end of the tour.”

I hadn’t thought about that. I wasn’t sure if that’s what would happen, but it’d be as funny as shit if it did.
“Rich said someone from Leighton Records will be there on Friday night.”

Her eyes widened. “Really? I thought he was holding off you guys signing until after the tour?”

“Apparently Leighton’s are pushing to have us on board for the tour. They want to use the exposure to promote us and get some sales established.”

“But that would mean you’d have to record an album before the tour…”

I nodded. “That’s why they’re coming Friday. If they think our material’s good enough, they want us in the recording booth next week.”

“Holy crap.
Is it even possible to produce an album in three months?”

“That’s a good fucking question. I asked the same thing. Apparently, if all our songs meet their standard for recording, and we lay the tracks for them in just a day or two, they said they could have it all produced and ready to go by the time the tour kicks off.”

“Wow. What does Rich think?”

“He doesn’t want us to rush. He says what they’re offering’s pretty good, but he thinks they can do better.” I shrugged. “He thinks we’re in the power position because we’re the ones willing to wait, and they’re the ones
with the time restrictions. I don’t know. It makes me nervous to think about it. If Rich wasn’t so experienced, I’d have signed with the first label that asked.”

She bit her lip thoughtfully. “Yeah, but he’s right. You guys do have the upper hand because the public have already decided they want you. It’s easy for the labels to just pick an up and coming artist out there and promote them to fame, but when the consumers pick someone, they lose the control.”

I inhaled deeply. Yeah, I was pretty fucking happy Mr. Thomas researched all the agent offers we had and chose Rich. He was worth his weight in gold. There were so many things I hadn’t even thought of when it came to recording contracts. I could understand a label handing out a low royalty for the first album of an unknown artist, but locking them into the same shitty rate for six or so more albums after that? That was like fucking ass raping them over and over again.

“I hope it all goes well then,” Mia said, interrupting my internal ranting. “Maybe I should come and watch…”

I instantly thought of all the loud obnoxious fans we drew to our live shows and frowned. Yeah, there was no way I was having Mia anywhere near that kind of atmosphere.

Mia, who’d been watching me, blushed and bit her lip. “Unless you think I’d put you off…”

I bit back a growl. “I wasn’t thinking of
my
discomfort…”

Her blush deepened and she looked down at her hands. “Oh…yeah, I guess…we’ll see…”

The bell rang then, putting an end to the beginning of my countdown, and I didn’t think it could’ve gone any better if I tried.