Muse - Fighting Fate #1 (27 page)

Chapter 48

Mia

As the door slowly swung open, I anxiously waited to see who it was. Since Mom had left the room I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what she’d told me. I was having such a hard time trying to understand how Jace and I could’ve gotten together. It just didn’t make any sense to me.

When I saw Aiden’s figure appear in the gap, I grinned, relieved,
but of what, I wasn’t sure.

His body seemed to relax when I smiled, and he quickly closed the door and rushed to fold me into his arms. “Fuck, Mia. If you ever do that to me again, I will kill you myself.”

I laughed softly against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He sat on the chair beside the bed, gazing at me while he held my hand. “How are you feeling?”

I nodded with a slight frown. “Yeah, okay. A little confused. It’s frustrating not being able to remember things.”

Aiden gave me a strained smile, and I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me. “Yeah, well, everybody is still trying to figure out exactly what went down. I think there’s going to be quite a few suspensions handed out.”

“Really?” That surprised me. I wondered what happened.

Aiden went on to explain bits and pieces to me. I knew there was a lot he was holding back, but I found myself preferring it that way. It sounded like it was a pretty bad fight. What I couldn’t understand was why I’d been there. My natural instinct was to stay far, far away from things like that.

We discussed the recording contract for a while too. That was another thing I couldn’t remember apparently. I wondered how much more there could possibly be. But as Aiden talked about their studio time and what they had to do, I decided it didn’t matter. I was so happy for him – happy for the whole band. They’d worked so hard for it.

When he mentioned about them going on tour with The Dark Hybrid, I got confused again
, and the panic returned. Something about it seemed familiar, and all I felt was a deep sense of sadness.

“What’s the matter
, baby girl?”

“
I can’t believe I can’t remember you’re going on tour with The Dark Hybrid. I mean, that’s huge, Aiden. It’s exciting and…and…just…” I sighed. I couldn’t pretend anymore. “Was I really going out with Jace?”

When I looked back up at him, all I saw was sadness. “Yeah
, baby girl, you were.”

I frowned, the ache of despair creeping back in. “I don’t understand how. Mom said we’d only been going out for a few weeks, but she said
we went and got contraception. How is that possible?”

Aiden
groaned and closed his eyes. “Mia-”

“I’m sorry. I know that’s not something you want to hear, but I need to understand.”

He nodded, opening his eyes. “Jace only told me he liked you last week, so obviously you tell Mom more than either you or Jace tell me. But in saying that, if I look back, it was obvious by how comfortable you guys seemed with each other that something had been going on between you for a lot longer than that.”

I frowned even more and shook my head with disbelief. “And you were okay with me being with him?”

Aiden laughed then. “It was weird, believe me, and don’t think I didn’t threaten to cut his balls off if he ever hurt you, but you were really happy, Mi. I’ve never seen you so...alive.”

The whole thing just seemed really strange. I just couldn’t reconcile the picture I had of Jace inside my head with what Aiden was saying.

“He’s really upset, Mi. I know you don’t want to hear that, and you probably don’t need the extra stress, but I just had to tell you that. He’s my best friend, and I don’t like to see him hurting.”

Tears stung my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Aiden just pressed his lips together, giving me a sad smile. “It’ll be okay. Everything will work out. We all just have to be positive.”

Silence settled in the room for a minute while I
tried to digest everything.

After a while
I heard Aiden groan. “I can’t believe you were considering sleeping with him.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “You know I’m going to have to go beat him up now, right?”

I widened my eyes. Was he serious?
“Aiden!”

He laughed
. “I’m just joking, Mia. I’ll wait until you’re back together, then I’ll beat him up.”

I sighed. “Leave him alone. I feel bad enough as is.”

He smirked at me a little, and I finally started to feel a little bit of normalcy returning to me. “I better go. I’m pretty sure Kaeli will be frothing at the mouth to get in here, and I need to get down to the studio to see how the guys went today.”

“Okay. Thanks for everything. I’m sorry I put you through so much stress.”

He gave me a kiss and disappeared out the door. Less than two minutes later, Kaeli barged through the door. The hesitancy morphed into a full blown smile when she saw me sitting up, watching her expectantly.

I knew if anyone knew the true story about what was going on between Jace and me – other than Jace of course, it would be Kaeli. I usually told her everything. What I wasn’t sure of, was if I was ready to hear it.

She beamed at me as she skipped over to the bed. “Yay! I’m so happy you’re awake!”

I let her squeeze me, giving her a generous squeeze back. When we pulled apart, her eyes were shining.

“You scared me so much,” she said emotionally.

“I’m sorry.” I seemed to be saying that a lot today.

She inhaled deeply as she studied me. “Your mom says you’ve got holes in your memory.”

It wasn’t a question, but she was looking for an answer. I nodded.
“It’s kind of scary not being able to remember parts of your own life.”

She nodded her agreeance. “The doctor said it’ll come back to you though, right?”

“Yeah. Hopefully.” I gave her a pointed stare and took a deep breath for strength. “I need you to tell me how I could’ve possibly been with Jace.”

Kaeli’s shoulders dropped a little and she sighed.
“It was so unexpected, so totally unconventional, but at the same time, so
you
. Honey, you’re crazy about him. So much so, you decided face your fears and start having lunch at the guys’ table.”

I gaw
ked at her. I couldn’t believe it. Nothing could make me face that table. Nothing.

“No one knew you guys were seeing each other,” she said softly. “You made Jace keep it quiet because you said you couldn’t handle people looking at you. You should’ve seen Jace when you started dropping in to sit at his table. He was so excited.”

I shook my head with disbelief. “It just sounds like you’re talking about a different person.”

“I know,
” she said dramatically. “That’s because you were – are – a different person, and I say that in a positive way. You were becoming so much more comfortable being around people. You even went to see the guys play last Friday night.”

Holy shit. What?
“Really?!”

“Yes! You looked hot by the way, and Jace couldn’t keep his hands off you. That was the first time most of the school saw you guys together.”

I just couldn’t fathom what she was saying. “Kaeli, Mom said we went to get contraception.”

Kaeli’s expression grew weary and she bit her lip. Cautiously, she nodded.

Shit. “Was I really thinking about sleeping with him?”

She bit her lip harder and nodded again.

I watched her guilty expression with confusion. Realization came to me slowly, but when it hit, I almost choked. “I’ve already slept with him?!”

The smile Kaeli gave me was piteous and sad. “You really like him
, Mi.”

I was floored. It was like I didn’t know myself at all. How could I possibly be this person everyone was talking about? Then there was Jace. He didn’t date! Ever. In the four years I’d known him, he’d never had a girlfriend. Why would he suddenly d
ecide I was worth changing for?

“Does he really like me?” I asked softly.

“I’m pretty sure he loves you, Mia. He was crying before.”

Shit. He was crying? This was madness. I wanted to pinch myself to see if it was all just a dream. My heart ached. I felt so bad. From what Aiden and Kaeli told me, it sounded like I was hurting him pretty bad. How was I supposed to make it better though? How was I supposed to fix it when I was as confused as hell? I
couldn’t make myself remember.

“It scares me,” I whispered.

Kaeli took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I know, but try not to think about it too much. It’ll come back to you when you’re ready. Jace will be okay. He just blames himself for not being there to protect you.”

I shook my head. I was with Jace. Shit.

Chapter 49

Jace

The silence that hung in the air around me was at exact odds to the war going on inside my head. Inside me was chaos. Complete. Fucking. Chaos.

I had so many different emotions running riot in there, I had no fucking chance of compartmentalizing them.

As I sat on the bench
down the end of my back yard, I thought about each and every one of them. Guilt. Anger. Fear. Despair. Grief. It was all there. And the end result seemed to be nausea.

I knew the doctor had said her memory should come back, but I was so fucking scared what would happen if it didn’t.

Footsteps crunching on the leaves had me looking up. I watched Aiden’s figure as he moved towards me. His expression was unreadable. Panic joined the other emotions, uninvited. “Is she okay?”

Aiden
sat down beside me. “Yeah, she fine. She’s asking a lot of questions about you.”

Hope quickly pushed everything else out of the way
. “Can she remember anything?”

Aiden
offered me a piteous smile. “Not yet.”

I exhaled hard, my chest aching.

“Apparently Mom told her they went to get contraception. Anything you want to tell me?”

Not fucking likely. I gave h
im a hard look. “Nope.”

“I told her I
had to beat you up now.” I clenched my jaw and gave him a warning look. If he tried, he would lose. I had some pretty fucked up energy pulsing through me at that moment. He smirked. “She yelled at me.”

I sighed
. “I can’t stand this, Aiden. What if she never remembers? What if she doesn’t ever want to get back together? I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.”

“She’s only been awake for a few hours. Give her some time.”

“I need to see her. I need her to see me.”

Aiden
pressed his lips together and nodded. “Yeah, I imagine you do.”

“Do you think your mom will let me?”

He pushed himself to his feet and gave me a determined stare. “We’re not going to tell her.”

***

I opened the door hesitantly. I had no idea what to expect. I hoped she wasn’t going to flip out on me. I really didn’t want to upset her.

Seeing her sitting up quietly, staring out the window, I pushed the door open further and stepped inside.

Mia’s head turned, and when she saw me standing there, her eyes instantly went wide. “Jace-” My name came out like a breath.

I gave her a sad smile, finding it hard to hide the pain inside me. “Hi. Can I come in?” I don’t know why I asked, because if she said no, I wouldn’t leave anyway – not until I got to talk to her.

She looked nervous, but thankfully she nodded.

Moving to the far side of her bed, I pulled the visitor’s chair closer and sat down. It was so fucking hard not to reach out to her and take her hand. I wanted to so fucking much. I felt my jaw clench and my brow crease with the effort
it was taking to hold myself back.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see me, but I just couldn’t...” I swallowed hard. This was so much harder than I thought it’d be. “Do you really not remember anything?”

Her eyes were filled with so much sadness. I was sure mine looked exactly the same. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I exhaled, looking down at my hands. “It’s okay. I don’t want to upset you. I don’t really know what to say. I guess I just needed to see for myself...”

I forced myself to look back at her, to look into her eyes so I could see the truth for myself, but when I was met with eyes that only showed fear and uncertainty, I wished I hadn’t. After weeks of only seeing excitement, happiness, and desire in those same eyes, the truth almost brought me to my knees. It was fucking killing me.

“It just doesn’t make any sense, Jace
.” Her voice was soft, full of confusion. “I mean, we hardly ever saw each other, let alone talked to each other. How could we possibly end up together?”

I gave
her a sad smile. “I know. It was definitely unexpected.”

I watched her swallow, nervous fingers fidgeting with her sheet.
“Kaeli says we’ve slept together.” Her voice was so quiet, I almost couldn’t hear her. I didn’t miss the stress I heard in it though. I gave her a worried look. “Aiden said you only told him last week that you liked me. How were we sleeping together?”

I looked
at the tears filling her eyes, knowing I promised Aiden I wouldn’t upset her. “You didn’t want anyone to know we were seeing each other. Aiden asked me if I liked you after he saw us talking in the hall.”

“So how long had we been seeing each other for?”

I wasn’t sure how far I should go with this. I knew it would be easy to misconstrue. “Do you remember going to Aspen?”

She frowned
. “I...maybe...I remember the cabin...and Aiden was there...”

“Do you remember the avalanche?”

Her eyes widened and I instantly knew she didn’t. “No.”

“You decided to stay at the cabin while everyone else went out. I had to go back to drop the car back, and while I was there, there was an avalanche, cutting the roads so the others couldn’t get back, and we couldn’t get out.”
I looked at her hesitantly, still not sure. “We spent the night together then.”

The second I was met with her horrified expression, I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

Fuck.