Muse - Fighting Fate #1 (25 page)

Chapter 42

Mia

I could hear music.

It was faint, only a soft noise in the breeze, but it was beautiful. The voice that sung along with it though was filled with pain. There was so much emotion in each word it made my heart ache. I wanted to reach out to whoever he was and hold him. Take away his pain and replace it with happiness.

When the music ended I wanted to cry. I didn’t want it to stop. In the never-ending darkness that surrounded me, it felt like the only thing that kept me anchored. Without it, I was scared I would float away and become lost.

A voice broke through the silence. A broken, husky sound that made me sad.

“Please be okay, baby. Please come back to me…”

I knew he was speaking to me. I don’t know why, because his voice didn’t sound familiar, but it felt right.

I tried to hold onto it, cling to his sweet voice, but the darkness was too
heavy, and I felt myself slipping under again.

Chapter 43

Jace

Aiden gazed at me from the other side of the waiting room.

Th
e small waiting room at the end of Mia’s ward was a much better option than the huge sterile one down in the ER. It was friendlier. More comfortable and warm, not to mention closer to Mia’s room. Even better was the fact that Aiden and I were the only ones in it.

Sitting with one foot on the coffee table and my guitar on my lap, I glanced up at him. I’d woken just after six that morning. Knowing I wasn’t going to get any more sleep than that, I packed up my guitar and went straight to the hospital. I had to wait an hour or so for visiting hours to open, but as soon as they did, I was there.

I played Mia the song I wrote the night before, singing it over and over again until my emotions became too much. After that I just sat with her and talked until Lillian and Aiden arrived.

Thumbing over the s
trings, I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“You write another song?” Aiden asked quietly.

I met his gaze and held it, nodding slightly. “Yeah, last night. Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded too. It seemed to be the best way to communicate when emotions had a grip on your throat.

“Do you want to hear it?” I wasn’t sure why I asked. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to share it. I thought it might be because if anyone could possibly understand what I was feeling, it would be him.

Surprise flickered in his eyes. Probably because I’d been holding the last song I’d written so close to my chest. “Yeah, I do.”

I swallowed. I knew if I did this, I would be sharing everything I felt for Mia with him. That was a hard thing to let go of. I’d only just shared my feelings with Mia four days ago. It was still so new.

Taking a breath, I adjusted my gaze to the window, fixating on the sky outside. I
knew I wouldn’t be able to do it if I looked at him.

Strumming a few chords to gather some courage, I paused for a beat or two then began.

The first few notes rang out in the quietness of the room. They were soft and soothing, slow and haunting. The opening verse expressed the surprise and confusion I’d felt the first time I’d been with Mia in Aspen, then it gradually morphed, just like my feelings for her had, telling the story of how I grew to need her, to cherish her, and eventually, to love her.

The chorus spoke of her being my muse and my air, and how I didn’t need anything else but her
. She was my angel and I wasn’t going to let her go.

The closing verse was the hardest. It was the now. It was all about my fear, my sorrow, the fact that I was holding my breath until she could give me one of hers. It was a declaration of love, a pledge to find her if she was lost
, even though I was the one who actually needed saving.

It was hard to get through, and my voice told him just how much, but even I had to admit, it was beautiful. It was pure in all its glory, and it was the only way I knew how to express to her how much she meant to me.

She was my muse, so that’s what I was calling the song. Muse.

Letting the last note hang in the air
, the song slowly came to an end. I was almost frightened to look back at Aiden. I felt completely transparent, my heart exposed and raw.

Taking a deep breath, I forced my gaze to where he was sit
ting. That was when I noticed the three figures standing in the doorway behind him. One by one I met the gazes of my mom, Lillian, and Mr. Thomas, and both Lillian and Mom had tears in their eyes.

Aiden turned to see what I was looking at before turning back to look at me. He gazed at me silently for a little while, then without a word, he pushed to his feet and left the room.

***

Mia spent most of the day having tests. Aiden, Kaeli and I either spent our time
in the waiting room, or outside on the hospital grounds. I wasn’t sure why, but Mom had spent the majority of the day sitting and talking with Lillian and Mr. Thomas.

When Aiden and I finally made it back up to the waiting room, Mr. Thomas excused himself and
I found out what they’d been discussing.

Lillian turned her attention to the both of us. “We need to talk.”

My heart started beating a painful, random pattern as anxiety crept in.

“You need to get back to the recording studio-”

“No way. I’m not-” Aiden started.

“Don’t
,” Lillian interrupted him with a hard look. “Just listen. You’re both adults now, and although most of us don’t have to make these kinds of difficult decisions until later in life, you do. You both signed legally binding contracts to record this album, and while you might be willing to deal with those consequences as an individual, you don’t have the right to make that decision for the whole band.”

She paused, watching us, gauging our reactions.
Aiden’s body language was still defensive, as I’m sure, was mine.

“Now, that being said,
” she continued. “I know you’re both consumed with what’s happening with Mia, and you’re probably thinking there’s no way you could focus enough to play properly, but you’re wrong. Jace, you proved that by playing that song this morning. It was beautiful by the way. It would embarrass Mia of course, but she’d love it.”

Aiden sighed. “Mom, that’s different, and you know it. How can we possibly perform at our best when our thoughts are with Mia? We’d sound like crap.
Besides, I want to be here for her. What if something happened while we were off playing fucking music? I’d never forgive myself.”

She frowned, almost scowling at us. “
For starters, nothing’s going to happen while she’s being kept under. And as far as sounding like crap…
that’s
crap. You can use your emotions - use the situation to your advantage. Take all those emotions you both have bottled up inside you and let it out through your music. I know you’ve done it before. Do you think Mia would be happy you’re both sitting here wasting this opportunity? You know she wouldn’t.”

She sighed.
“Look…Dr. Sanders said they’re still going to keep her under for at least another day, so you’ve got time to get in and do it. Do it for Mia. Make something that she can listen to when she wakes up, knowing it was her that drove you to play so hard.”

I looked at Aiden. She gave a fucking convincing case
, but I was still scared to be away from her. I was petrified that if I didn’t show her I was here for her, she would slip further away and not come back. There was a part of me that felt like I needed to keep talking to her, keep singing to her, give her something to focus on, give her direction to make it back to me.

Aiden wore the same feelings in his expression. I could see he was torn. I t
hought about what Lillian said. How sometimes we had to make adult decisions – even when we weren’t ready to.

Mom cleared her throat. “
We’ll let you know the second anything changes. We promise. Lillian’s organized with Sean to ring him the second there’s any change in Mia’s condition – good or bad.”

If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t trust they’d interrupt our recording to pass on the message, but I trusted Mr. Thomas. I gave Aiden a slight nod, letting him know I was on board. Lillian was right. I could channel these emotions into something fucking phenomenal.

Aiden inhaled then sighed. “Fine, but we start first thing, and we don’t stop until the album’s done. No fucking breaks.” The fact that Aiden swore in front of our moms without a trace of contriteness showed how strongly he felt about it.

I nodded. “I agree, but Mr. Thomas has to promise
to give us any news he gets – even if he has to stop us in the middle of a recording. If he won’t agree to that, then the deal’s off.”

Aiden clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening. “Absolutely.”

Lillian expression grew a little more serious. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Chapter 44

Mia

The fogginess that had been looming inside my head was lifting. I no longer felt dazed, but I was still very, very confused.

I didn’t understand where I was.

The darkness was consuming. The silence, suffocating.

I vaguely remembered hearing
music. Had I imagined it? No. I remembered it had made the darkness tolerable. I wished I could hear it again. It soothed me. Made the darkness seem not so frightening.

I didn’t want to be
here anymore.

Chapter 45

Jace

My day started at five a.m. After grabbing a healthy breakfast and making a quick call to make sure Mia’s condition had remained stable overnight, I gathered my music and drove downtown to Leighton’s recording studio to meet the guys.

Aiden and I ran through the stipulations
with Mr. Thomas before we started anything, making sure he understood what we expected when it came to Mia. We agreed if there was bad news, he’d stop the recording straight away, but if there was good news, he’d wait until the recording ended before letting us know. It seemed like a reasonable compromise in the end.

We started the session off with our usual jam to get us in the zone, but this time, all traces of humor were gone. We all knew we had a job to do, and it was a fucking big one at that.

In order to get as much of the album recorded in one day, the studio decided to use partitioning screens so we could record the music component all at once. As a garage band, it worked best for us to do it that way anyway, because we fed off one another’s intensity when we played.

Once we got into it, there was no stopping us.
Aiden and I were like machines. The sound we created was unlike anything we’d ever done before. There was a power in it that I’d never heard. A slight desperation, an anguish that gave each song a deeper meaning than we ever thought could be possible. Matt and Dean soaked it up, and together, we amped it up to another fucking level.

I thought about Mia through every song.
I saw her lying beneath me as we made love only a few days ago, I saw her tears when I’d told her I loved her, I saw her frightened face when I held her through her anxiety attack, I saw her crumpled body on the floor of the gym, and the blood that felt permanently stained on the walls of my memory, and I saw her fragile body, lying on the hospital bed, being kept alive by tubes and machines and wires.

After every song, I looked to Mr. Thomas, watching to see if he had any news. Each time I was met with the slight shake of his head, so I pushed forward, throwing myself into another song and another round of tormenting visions that now
felt branded inside my head.

I didn’t need anyone to tell me we sounded good. I knew there wasn’t a time we’d played any fucking better. We hit each run through
with perfection, and by the grin that was etched on the recording guys’ faces, I knew they thought so too.

It was somewhere just after lunch when we finished up. The relief was like a fifth person in the room. Its presence was rife.

“That was fucking phenomenal guys,” came Rick’s voice through the speakers. I looked at him through the glass, sitting behind the giant mixing board. “It’s going to be a little while until we’re ready to do the vocals. Why don’t you take an hour and grab something to eat.”

Dean put his guitar down and sat on the lounge along the wall.
I slumped down on a stool.

Sitting there
with the hardest part of our day behind us, I was suddenly hit with an urge to share. “Remember the song I wrote in Aspen?” I said quietly.

The guys all looked at me with confirmation.

“Play it with me?” I knew my voice sounded uncertain, and I was, but it felt right.

“Fuck yeah.” Matt grinned. He’d been itching to do this since he heard the first bar
during the car ride back from Aspen. Aiden nodded and Dean put his guitar back on.

I pulled out the music sheets I’d stashed in my guitar case and passed them over. After a quick going over, we jumped back into place and got into it.

Knowing I didn’t have to share the lyrics just yet made it a little easier, so I just let go and felt the music. The guys kicked in at exactly the right moment and, considering we’d only played around with it once, they played it like they’d done it a million times before.

That was the thing that made us so good
as a band. The way we worked together. We were so close, we were like brothers. It was as though we just knew what each other was thinking, and that seemed to cross over to our music.

Playing the song I’d written about the first mon
th of my life with Mia was just the salve I needed. It soothed my soul and gave me the strength I needed to just keep going.

When
I let the last chord ring out, I was met with three pairs of awe inspired eyes.

“Are the lyrics done?” Aiden asked, pulling no punches.

I nodded.

“Good.” Looking back to the control booth, he inclined his head to Rick. “You get that?”

I watched Rick nod, then his voice came through the speakers. “Sure did.”

Aiden met my gaze with an expression that told me there was no arguing allowed. “
You can do the vocals when the rest are done.”

Drawing in a deep breath, I met his gaz
e head on and nodded. Yeah, I would. I was ready.

***

By five o’clock that afternoon, all our sound had been laid down. Getting the vocals down was a hard process. It was more tedious than the music, and we were all utterly exhausted, but it was done. I knew some parts would have to be re-recorded, but Dean and Matt could handle the majority of it without us.

Recording the lyrics for
Avalanche was liberating to say the least. I did it in the booth on my own, keeping my eyes closed and focusing everything I had on the music playing in my ears.

It was the first time I’d sung lead in front of the guys
, and it took a lot to open up and let my voice out to the extent needed to carry the song, but I knew how I needed it to sound and I pushed myself to achieve that.

When I was done, and I looked up beyond the glass to their watchful faces, I could tell they were surprised. Since we’d been doing the whole band thing, they’d only heard me sing back-up, or quiet acoustic songs when we’d been mucking around or trying out new material, but this song was personal, and I just didn’t want to share the words with anyone. I needed to be the one who sang it.

I’d just walked out of the sound booth when Mr. Thomas stepped in from the reception room.
I immediately noticed the phone in his hand. His gaze found Aiden first, then swung to meet mine. “I have some good news.”

His words sent instant relief through my stumbling heart.

“All Mia’s tests from this afternoon have shown the swelling around her brain has gone. They’re about to take her off the meds and let her wake up when she’s ready.”

I closed my eyes and
exhaled heavily. My body suddenly felt like it would crumble to a heap on the floor.

“The doctor said the chances of her waking up before morning were slim though, so he suggested waiting until then before going in.”

Yeah, there was no fucking way I was waiting until morning to see her. I needed to see her now. Heading back into the recording room, I started packing up my guitar.

I was going to sing her to me.